Author's Note: (CHAPTER 1 has been added after Prologue!)

Disclaimer: First and foremost, I will never own Twilight. Sadly, anyway.

Second, I know everyone hates Author's Notes(including me) so I'll try to make it brief. So this story was inspired by a combination of my favorite stories on FFN. I've always thought about what it'd be like for the Twilight characters to all be human and experience human things, so I wrote about it. It does contain graphic material and may cause triggers or flashbacks, so I strictly suggest you reconsider reading if you or someone you know has dealt with abuse, eating disorders, trauma, PTSD or anxiety. Thank you for listening to my blah blah, speak to you soon.

PS- Updates will depend on reviews. More review= more updates. We'll see! Thank you for your time!


Prologue- Nightmare (Bella POV)

It's 3 am and I can't find it in me to go back to sleep, no matter how incessantly I turn over on this scratchy white bed. It's almost become a weekend routine now, waking from the nightmare and going downstairs to try and recover composure. I couldn't do that if he were home on the weekends, because when he's home during the week, I have no choice but to hold back the screams and swallow the sorrow. So while he's gone, I take advantage and try to relax.

I slowly crawl out of my bed and slip on the black robe Alice, my best friend, gave me, then foot-slog downstairs. I look around the white plain house, taking in its beauty while he is away. I have to admit, it's much quieter than usual, but not the way I wish it would be. The loud, whipping sound of Washington's bloody rain slams the house from every side, and it puts me on edge, reminding me of Charlie's agonizing belt. I worry about what I'll be beaten for this week. I shudder in fear, afraid that this weekend will end so shortly, and he will be back to scrutinize every single thing I do.

How I wish my mommy Renee, was still with me. In a sudden rush of nostalgia, I remember my mother's wise words, always reminding me to stay true to myself, work hard and take a chance in life. Her intense, irresistible optimism always used to soothe away my childish worries. I am not the same little child anymore with childish dilemmas, but I need her words more than ever to help me get through each day. But she's gone forever. Years ago, Charlie would take me to day care, would constantly have me be doing things so I had no time in the day to recall the accident. As I grew older, nothing could keep me from remembering the painful truth. Now, there's no distraction to mask reality. Now, I know that she's never coming back.

I walk into the kitchen and head for the fridge, hastily grabbing a cold water bottle and taking a huge swig from it. Why am I so thirsty? I make myself a quick, boiling hot mint tea and pace around the kitchen, hugging my freakishly small waist, contemplating whether I should call Alice or not. I don't want to wake her . She needs her beauty sleep, as she calls it. But at the same time, I have so much to release, so much to kick out of my system, and talking to Alice always seems to calm me, even if it's just for a short while.

She and I are as close as sisters can get, and even though we are not biologically related, we might as well be. Okay, honestly we're complete opposites, from completely different gene pools. She's beautiful, she loves to have fun, and is outgoing as hell. Short and petite, a glowing black bob hairstyle, the impeccable skin any model would kill for, and well she could be wearing rags and look stunning. Blue-eyed, diamond-faced, pretty little woman. We're the same height, same shoe size, same clothing size...but she is still much, much prettier than me. Because...well I'm not beautiful. My big brown dull eyes are extremely large on my too thin, strawberry shaped face. I'm too plain. There's nothing that stands out ... unless we're talking about bitchiness. I'm a big pain in the ass to talk to I think. I can be a huge bitch to people in general. And then there's males. They try to start up a smart chat with me or Al, and I blow them off. Some thing about them...it's greedy. Like they're just out there for the kill.

So anyway... how did we end up as best friends? That's something we'll never truly know. Ever since freshman year when we met, we somehow understood each other, bonded like no other. Three awkward run-ins, two spilled coffees, and a wardrobe malfunction later, we grew to trust each other, and tell each other nearly everything. She knows most of my demons like I know all of hers.

I settle for reclining against the brown living room couch and finishing my tea, trying to just..not think. I don't want to fall for my bulimic ways anymore, it's not a natural way to satisfy myself. I know it hurts me, and I know I can't do it anymore or I'll end up...hospitalized. But it's the only way I know. When even my dearest and only friend can't comfort me, I turn towards purging. It's not safe, I know. But when you have so many demons eating at you, there's nothing else you can do but find a way to purge all your misery, one way or another. For me, it isn't alcohol... It isn't cutting. It isn't drugs or sex. It isn't rebelling against everything and everyone I know. My mother set firm and clear values and principles for me.

For me, the way to escape is throwing up everything in my body, expelling the contents to try and feel renewed, clean. But it works as much as anything could, I think. It only leaves me feeling numb. It's been a week since I've been at it, but the aching need for numbness is crying out to me, and my weak mind falls for it once more. I swore to Alice I'd stop. But I can't. The empty teacup slips from my hands as I hurl towards the bathroom, and try to ignore the stinging tears coming from the depth of my dark soul.

Chapter 1- Forks High

Charlie has returned. It's Monday morning, and my alert switch is back on. Alice should be here at any moment now, and I'm praying I'm out the door before he can reach me. He would've left by now, as he typically leaves early in the morning, but I haven't heard his truck's engine begin. He was probably out all night drinking, so he's either running late or not going to work today at all. Like it matters to him.

I jump out of bed, quickly pulling on faded black jeans, a black long sleeved blouse, combat boots, and my mother's old baseball cap,before I spring to the restroom. I brush my teeth fiercely and grab my book bag, then run down the hall towards the stairs. I don't even take the time to look at my sunken, outlandish freak face in the mirror. I listen for snoring, and when I hear it, I run downstairs with my bag flailing behind me. I can't figure out why he hasn't left yet. Don't look back, don't look back.

Just as I'm reaching the door, the dreaded raspy voice calls out my name. My throat constricts in fear. Please, God or whatever universal outer figure is out there, please. Not today. I don't want to make up an excuse today. I've gone to school with a black eye before, and it was not fun. Alice knows about my purging. She knows about my mom. She knows about how I was nearly abused a few years ago as a result of trying to escape. She knows every embarrassing, or dark thing there is to know about me. But this is something I can't bring myself to tell her. I don't have it in me. She would raise hell on Earth if I told her what Charlie was really like. When she saw my black eye last month, I said I'd hit it while hanging a picture frame in the living room with Charlie. She'd bought it. I hated keeping secrets from her. I didn't want to have to lie...again.

I hear the blaring horn of Alice's Mustang, but slowly turn towards Charlie, who is hobbling rather quickly towards me. Please, please don't. I cower by the door, looking down as I hear his heavy footsteps approach me. Once I can smell that revolting, gruesome alcoholic smell and the stale Camel cigarette stench, I make the mistake of looking up, asking for mercy. I glance up at his tall, familiar form and as soon as I do, he wraps his thick arms around my waist and pulls me towards him, then inhales. I think I'm about to puke. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I know it's Alice.

"Please, please,Char -I mean... Dad...I'm going to be late."I whimper, trying to not wince as his filthy hands roam my body.

"Look me in the eyes, honey." he murmurs, and I do as am told, afraid of what will happen if I don't. He smiles slowly, revealing a row of stained, maltreated teeth. I want to puke and run at the same time.

"Good. Now remember, be a good girl at school and work, then...come back here safe and sound, okay? Don't be home late."he warns. He runs a finger down my back and back up to tap mother's baseball cap. I struggle to keep a straight face. I nod carefully. Like he cares about my safety.

"Yes." His eyes darken and he pulls at my dark hair. I realize my mistake instantly.

"Yes what?!" He yells as he tightens the grip on my hair.

"Yes, Dad. Yes. I-I'll be good. I won't be home late. Please, just..."

He squeezes my arm too tightly, and I inhale sharply. He smiles and releases it. Teasing at what is to come, his favorite game to play. Actually, his favorite game is while he hurts me, but his second favorite is teasing. My stomach trembles as he guffaws loudly and smoothes my hair in place. He plants a wet, sloppy kiss on my cheek, and my fists clench so tightly I can just about see the bone underneath my translucent skin. The threatening tears form in my eye sockets and all I can do is blink them back. I can barely register when he has put his hands down and hobbles towards the kitchen. He grabs a cold beer from the fridge and looks menacingly at me over his shoulder.

"Be back soon, my baby girl." I exhale the breath I've been holding. Composure. Alice is outside.

He makes me sick. I struggle to find my muscles and as soon as I see his bedraggled, drunk self walk up the stairs, I run out the door, and cross the street, where an irritated, narrow-eyed Alice, watches me like an eagle, tapping her steering wheel with her perfectly manicured red nails. I try to compose my face as I wave at her and try to look as serene as possible.

"Sorry Alice, my alarm didn't wake me. How's your morning?" I try to sound cheerful and swing my bag onto the backseat then hop in beside my gremlin little friend. Her irritated look quickly vanishes as she drives down Vixen St, and onto the freeway towards school.

"Oh Bells, I've got tons to tell you, but first, let's talk about your eyes. Sweetie, have you even been sleeping? You look like the dead. I mean, don't get me wrong, you'd be banging, if it weren't for those hideous bags. Here." she single-handedly drives her red car and hands me her makeup bag. I roll my eyes.

"Alice, you know I don't-"

"Zip it! You're not putting makeup on. Look for the cold cucumbers." She smiles deviously and briefly turns her intensely gorgeous blue eyes towards me.

Sure enough, a tiny blue container with fresh cucumber slices appear in her bag.

I smile at her.

"Thanks Alice, I swear you're psychic sometimes." I slip off my cap and lay back , slipping the two thin slices over my eyes for the ride to school.

"Or...I'm just your best friend in the entire world and I kind of already know when you don't sleep well. And Sundays seem to be at the top of the list. Any reason?" she asks curiously. I'm glad she can't see my eyes right now, because she can almost always tell when I'm lying right through them.

"Um Alice, no one sleeps well on Sundays. Even the anti-social, like me."

She laughs her enchanting, pretty laugh.

"Let me guess, Jane Austen again? I'm telling you, that woman insists on getting in your head. I would stay away from those books for a while, baby."

I bite my lip and stifle a giggle, loving her for not asking too much.

Too soon, we arrive at the infamous Forks High. Only 1600 enrolled students. Small ass school. That suits me well though. Second quarter is starting, and I hate that I still have a long way to go. Alice cheers me up, reminding me it's just one more year until she and I can move out and find a place elsewhere, make new lives for ourselves...but for me it means another year of torture and confrontations, another year of memories and suffering. Another year with Charlie. I hate the very sound of this city, this place, these people, the house. Alice likes to call me Wednesday Addams. I guess I get it. I hate everything.

I take the soothing circles off my eyes, pull on my cap, and grab my bag. Now, I ignore the stares people give us. The two little, lonely lesbos, I remember a certain girl saying to us once. I use to be so scared of what people said. It is true, Alice and I are closer than pickles and ice cream. We love each other unconditionally. We are two peas in a pod, and although she is confident and gorgeous, she encourages me to feel better, be better. Now, when we walk down the hall arm in arm, or sharing a drink or whatever, it doesn't bother me at all. No one will ever understand how close we've grown, and how much of a sister she's like to me.

She skips across the lot with her frost pink bags in hand, bubbling in excitement over a party she was invited to yesterday.

"Bells, you have to come. You have to be there as my wing-woman! You can't possibly allow me to go alone!" she demands. I smack her arm playfully with my brown book bag, and shake my head.

"Al, you know I don't go to that type of thing. The one and only time I went with you, I had to... endure Charlie's verbal wrath and I don't want to get in trouble again."

She makes her infamous puppy face, but I continue.

"Besides, I don't blend in with the crowd. You do...a bit more. You go, have fun." She tilts her head sideways, and then sighs in defeat.

"Fine, but I swear, one of these days, I'm going to get you to go with me again, and you are gonna have the most fun you've ever had, I assure you. See you in Trig, babe!" she hugs me quickly and skips towards Spanish, her first class, with her friend Chase. Chase waves at me and I wave briefly before blushing and speed walking away.

I roll my eyes as I walk to my English class. I know she just wants me to go out with her, but I can't bring myself to escape again. Last time I'd sneaked out of my window and we'd gone to a Senior party, Alice got a bit too tipsy for my taste. I had to basically peel her off the dance floor, drive her home, walk my sorry ass home, and after completing that good deed, Charlie caught me walking in. That weekend was the night I got the awful black eye. I couldn't risk that again. She was on her own this week.

Bless Alice, for she'd lent me her notes, making it unnecessary for me to pay close attention today in class. I sit in my usual spot, the left lonely corner of the class, away from display. The teacher "kindly" reminds me that no hats are allowed inside, and I hold back the roll of my eyes, then slowly proceed to take off my cap.

My teachers have learned that I am a taciturn girl and I won't say much in class no matter what they do, so they eventually just have let me be. As long as my grades were acceptable and I passed their class, they couldn't care less what I was doing. Most of the time, I am on my laptop reading or writing, and on occasion actually taking notes. There is the unpredictable and frequent glare by Lauren and her bitchy brigade in Trig, but I learned to ignore them as well.

My schedule looks like this: AP English, Trig, AP Biology, Lunch, Free Period, Sociology and Gym. Alice's schedule is Spanish, Trig, Bio, Lunch, Fashion Design, Theater and Gym. We only have three periods of the day together and we make the most of it. She says her goodbyes to a couple of seniors and comes skipping towards me. I look at the guys briefly, and notice as they stare at me longer than necessary. Ew.

I shake my head in disapproval at her as they walk away. What is it with her and jocks?

She grabs my arm and I inhale deeply. Bruise, shit. She took me by surprise. I hide my wince as she cheerfully babbles about how she is for sure going to pin down one of those jocks at the party Friday night.

"Whoa um...that's..great Alice." I say a bit idly. This woman. I turn to grip her arm, and she turns around, alarmed.

"What?" she asks, her voice sweet and innocent.

"It's just... remember to be careful. I don't want you getting hurt." I mumble, and she sighs.

"You know I'll be careful, B. Trust me, I learned my lesson." She gives me a meaningful look until I nod and drag her into Trig. Cue the glares. I want to give them the bird, but I force myself not to.

Instead of going to her seat like a good, normal girl, Alice heads straight for the professor's desk and leans over. She's wearing a self -designed low cut, cotton, baby pink dress. I'm sure her cleavage is on full display for the man. This is why this school needs a school board who enforces dress code of some sort.

"Good morning Mr. Devon, how are you today, Sir?" Alice asks our Irish teacher. She is batting her lashes for God sake and twiddling her thumbs.

The artful and undeniably handsome 25 year old man looks up from his laptop and his eyes widen. Then he composes himself and smiles politely at her, looking away from the cleavage and to her eyes only. I bet she's disappointed.

"I'm well, Ms. Brendon, thank you. How are you two ladies doing today?" He sits up right, taking his reading lenses off. He turns a pair of sparkling blue eyes to me. I freeze up. Alice does not hesitate in answering for me, bless her heart.

"Oh we're having a dandy fine day, sir."

I nod slowly in agreement, wave at him, then turn and walk to my seat, allowing Alice to continue her pathetic attempt at seducing the professor. I nearly trip over my own feet and fall into my chair rather loudly. Some students laugh at my own stupidness. Alice notices, and looks apologetically at me as she gives closure to her little conversation with the teacher, shuffling quickly towards me. She throws her bags in the chair beside me.

"Sorry, honey. I just had to greet him properly, ya know? He works really hard for his position, and no one shows their gratitude." she winks at me and settles in her seat.

"Al, that's bull and you know it. The only reason that no one else greets him is because they're too intimidated. You are the only person who would consciously talk to the man with non-school affiliated crap. Don't cross the line Alice Mary." I reprimand her and she pouts, then reaches in her bag to perfect her makeup, if even possible. The teacher sets up all his equipment and tools for the day, and roams the room with his brooding eyes. I don't like it. There's something about the man, and it frightens me. However, he is one of the only teachers who lets me keep my cap on in class, so I can't complain.

When he starts the lesson, Alice begins to take notes and takes a break every few minutes. Out of no where, she whispers in my ear, "But his ass is so fine! Look!" she tilts my chin towards the front of the room and I blush fiercely for looking at a bent down Devon, reaching for his car keys that have slipped to the floor. Um...well, I guess. But I don't want to lead on my hopeless pixie, and I stay silent. She chuckles and gets back to taking notes. She raises her hand after Devon's finished explaining sines, cosines, and tangents.

He smiles and calls at her. I roll my eyes. Alice Mary Brendon is a smart woman. Why does she demean herself just to get the attention of a man? It's not right.

All the guys in class look at Alice expectantly, and the girls throw her dirty looks. I press my lips in a fine line and wait. She twirls her pencil and bats her eyes.

"Sir, I was wondering if you could explain the thing about cosines and sines again. How the heck can I remember the formula, what goes where? It's making my brain hurt, gooodness." She complains, and I roll my eyes at my best friend. We're two hopeless romantics, except she actually acts on it. Deviously.

Mr. Devon chuckles under his breath and peels his eyes off her, coughs subtly then nods.

"Err- sure Brendon. I'm sure you'll get it this time. If not, you can always come after school for...tutoring lessons." he gives her a tiny, meaningful smile and she pinches my thigh under the table in excitement. "Ouch!" I whisper.

She nods at him and the class continues. Oh Alice.

The rest of the day goes by like always, too fast. I drag my feet from AP Bio to lunch. I want it to drag on, so I don't have to go home, to work and then back home. Home...What a joke. I could always go to Alice's place...but then I'll have to deal with the ogre later. I really hope he's not been drinking. I wonder if he'll be home early tonight. Charlie works as a fisherman on the coast, along with his buddies Dan and Paul. They are three, fucked up drunks. I can't believe not one of them gets caught drinking and working. Fishing isn't exactly a respectable job, but they shouldn't indulge. They drink more than they work.

Alice is talking to her tall blonde Senior friend, Chase when I spot her near the cafeteria line. She waves and I walk over to them quickly.

"Hey hon, I hope you don't mind, Chase wants to sit with us today." she explains, and Chase looks hopefully at me.

I slip off my book bag to reach for my black little iPod and nod at him without looking directly at the dude.

"It's cool dude, as long as you make yourself useful." I throw him my heavy book bag and he smiles, amused at my straight forwardness. Might as well. Alice laughs loudly and I shake my head at them as we get in line for food.

I notice Alice watching me closely as I select my tray items, and I tell her to fuck off jokingly. I slip an apple and carrots on my white plastic tray.

She shakes her head, "Baby, you need to eat. Grab the pizza slice and let's go."

I shake my head at her, but still do as I'm told. You don't want to argue with Alice. Not really.

Alice and I usually sit outside, unlike everyone else. I have no idea what draws people to the cafeteria to eat, and although Alice insists it's the sexy jocks(there she goes again), I frown and shrug at her. She has friends, unlike me. She opts to sit with me though, and that makes me feel guilty but content.

Today, I feel awkward as the tall blonde sits with us. It's odd that Chase wants to join us. He never does.

Alice produces a small blue blanket from her spacious pink bag and we sit with our lunches under a huge spruce tree. She hands us a drink and then they start eating. I wince, not feeling really hungry.

"What? You don't like pizza?" Chase asks me, shoving fries in his mouth. Alice bites her pizza and wipes her mouth neatly.

"No, she doesn't like food in general. "

I roll my eyes at her and pick at the hem of my shirt.

"Eat Bella, please. I'm sure you had no breakfast today because you were running late." Alice castigates me. I munch on some carrots for a moment, and then I force myself to eat the apple. I drink the smoothie Alice bought me and then I am completely full. Chase is about to comment on my odd eating habits, when Alice exclaims, "Okay guys, truth or dare. Now."

I sigh, getting up to throw away my plate. Chase snatches it and grabs the pizza before I can throw it away, and shoves it down his throat.

My eyes widen. Then I turn back to Alice.

"Really? Now?"

"Yes, yes! Okay, Chase, hurry the hell up, throw the trash away and come play." she claps excitedly and she helps him clear our mess as Chase goes towards the trash cans with our plates.

"Alice, you're unbelievable." I plop back down, irritated.

"I know. Look, there's something eating at him because I can just tell. He has something to tell me and it's the only way I can get it out of him. So play along,will you?" she begs.

"Whatever. I guess." I sigh and she squeals and bounces in her plum designer dress.

Chase returns a moment later, and stretches as if he were warming up for an exercise.

"Okay chicas, I'm ready."

"You start, Chase. Truth. So is it true you-" she starts animatedly, but stops to think.

Chase scratches his chin, suddenly not excited anymore and interrupts her quickly.

"Alice, I'm not so sure that's how you play-"

"Truth. Okay, is it true you're hiding something from me?" she kneels towards him, and his eyes widen. I sit back and watch this play out.

"Um...what?"

Suddenly, the atmosphere of the game changes and I'm left feeling uneasy. This is not good.

"Answer me Chase Dickson or I swear-"

"Yes! Yes Alice I am, okay! Gosh you are nuts!" he stands up to leave but Alice rises as well and follows to stop him.

"Don't walk away, Chase! Stop it." she yells. Holy moly.

His face is contorted with anger, but Alice sighs and puts her hands on her hips.

"Chase, you're my friend. Don't keep secrets away from me. I don't deserve it. You can ask Bella, ask what happens when you keep secrets from me." she murmurs. They glance at me and I'm caught off-guard. I fix my cap and shrug.

"Um..ya know, she cuts off your ball sack."

Alice giggles and Chase grins slightly.

After a moment, he speaks."I know. It's just...Can you keep a secret?" he murmurs defeatedly. She nods, her eyes brightening hugely.

"I'm...gay." he murmurs, as if he were ashamed of it.

Alice shouts in excitement, and I smile at them. She hugs him and actually, yes, actually congratulates him. His chagrined face transforms into beaming joy.

"Chase, good for you! You know, most of the straight boys in Washington are total douche bags anyway. It's good to know you're unique. You make momma proud!"

He looks over at me, and I smile sincerely at him, well because for one, he's just the type of guy we'll be able to confide in.. or at least joke with. The rest of lunch is a loud and informative one, and we quickly get to know who Chase really is. He is actually not half as bad as I thought.

On my free period, I go over to the library, my usual hideout place, and head straight for the classics. I roam my fingers over the dusty books, and it takes me a while to pick one. I finally choose Sense and Sensibility, and settle down in the small corner where no one can see me. Not that the library is crowded anyway. The librarian is gone, so I don't have to worry about taking my cap off. Only about two people roam the place. Perfect. I plug in my iPod and curl up, as I listen to Haydn and read Jane Austen's incredible work. My happy place indeed.

In Sociology, we are assigned a partner assignment on the rights of females in the country, and we have to prepare an oral essay for the class next month. When Dr. Barker tells us to team up with someone in the class, I'm left feeling awkward and alone. Alice should be here right about now. Too bad she won't take this class no matter what I try. Professor presses his lips tightly together and shrugs.

"I guess you have double the work, Ms. Swan. But I know you'll do just fine." I nod at the sixty year old Einstein, and ignore the scoffs the people around the room give me.

It's a debate, and I get to write, so I'm surprisingly excited. Another positive is that I get no partner, and that means no awkward research dates or weird run-ins. The only negative, and I mean the only negative of this assignment is that it is an oral speech. I don't do well with speeches. I usually stutter and my voice isn't... audible enough. I shake my head as I step out of class when the bell rings and I turn the hall towards the gym lockers. I take my cap off and tell Alice about my assignment. She simply smiles kindly at me.

"You are a monstrosity of a genius babe. You're gonna do great on that oral speech. I promise." I smile bleakly and take my gym uniform towards the bathroom stall. Once I'm dressed, I head out. She's still changing. Two of the girls near our lockers glare like dumb asses as Alice slips on her gym shorts and rolls them a bit too high. She turns to show me her creation.

"Nice huh?" I swat her with my arm and shake my head.

"I'm sure Jackson would be thrilled to see that ass of yours Al, but he's a sixty year old grandpa. You can do better than that. I bet he's a horny pedophile and that is not something you should be into." I mutter as she shrugs and fixes her shorts appropriately.

"So Mr. Devon then..."

"Let's go Alice." I cut her off, and then pull her out of the locker room. We laugh all the way to the volleyball field where the class meets up.

After school, I head straight for Alice's car, and wait there for her to arrive. I sigh. What the hell is taking her so long? I reach for my phone and begin to dial her number when Lauren and her SlutVille, as Alice and I officially dubbed them, appear next to me and slide into their yellow Porsche car. They chuckle as they see me standing there like an idiot, and I know what's coming.

"What's the matter, did your girlfriend leave you hanging?" Lauren's sour, pestering voice comes from beside me. I bite my lip, and hold back from saying something nasty to the bitch. I settle for scrolling through my phone and ignoring the laughing bitches as they finally drive out of the lot.

Once SlutVille is out, I see Alice walking leisurely with one of the tall dirty blonde jocks she hung out with earlier. They seem to be whispering cozily to each other. When she finally sees me she murmurs a good bye to him. She kisses his cheek, and runs towards me with a crafty smile on her face. I glare at the guy behind her, and hop into the car.

"Who's that, Al?" I ask, trying to not sound pissed and not throw my book bag too angrily into the backseat.

"Oh, just Ben. He's too cute." she sounds girly again. Even for her. I smile at her trance-like face.

"That's good. He better be. Or someone's gonna get castrated."

"Ew, gross. What's with you and ripping ball sacks?" she murmurs as she steps on the pedal. I laugh humorlessly.

"I couldn't bear it if a guy hurt you, Al. It would hurt me too. You don't deserve that. That's why." I murmur. I wander off, and I'm suddenly not listening to her. I know she wouldn't bear it either, knowing that the person that was suppose to love me the most, was actually an abusive drunk who was always pissed ever since mom had passed away. She'd probably hate me if she found out what I was keeping from her.

"Earth to Bella? You in there?" she's running a hand through her short glossy hair, and looking frustrated at my irresponsiveness.

I blink three times and blanch.

"Sorry, what?" I ask, befuddled.

She sighs, turns her engine off, and turns towards me. I realize we're in front of my house. Oh shit.

"Bella, I seriously need to know where you're at sometimes. You worry me, babe. I mean, we are like sisters, we tell each other everything. But I don't know what you're thinking sometimes, and I want to be there for you. You'll never keep secrets from me, right Bells?" she looks me in the eyes, and I do my best at looking honest.

It hurts so undeniably bad to not tell her. She's the only person in the world I trust, the only family I have. She's my other half. What I'm doing isn't fair, but I can't tell her about Charlie. I can't. So I wrack up my brain and keep it together.

"Of course Alice. You'd have to rip my balls off, and I don't want that."

She sighs in relief, swinging her arms around me and laughing like a wicked pixie. I smile a little. She kisses me on the cheek briefly and gives me an eased look.

"Okay, see you tomorrow. Don't let that fucker push you around too much." she winks and turns on her engine. For a moment I freeze up and freak out, thinking she's talking about Charlie. But she means Don Johnson, my boss at work. I blanch for a nanosecond, and then I wave as she drives down the street. I feel like a little piece of me just drove away.


Aw, aren't Bella and Alice the cutest? Thank you so much for your time! I want to clarify some things. First, I am NOT some psycho who simply enjoys writing about torture and depression. Really, I think I am a happy person. With that said, you have to understand that this story is very slow paced because I want to make it as legit and realistic as possible. I'm not the best of writers, at all, but in order to tell this beautiful story I have in my mind, I want to tell it at my own pace. Happiness doesn't come in the snap of ones fingers. It's a process, sometimes grueling and difficult, but we'll get there, promise. Please do not be discouraged by my odd ways, after all this is my first Fanfic ever! Give me a tiny bit of trust and help me through this please. After all, two(or more) heads are better than just one! ;)- Kat