Eyes Wide Open
I don't own any of the characters besides the briefly mentioned Hyrti. Supernatural is most definitely not mine either, don't rub it in. 3: Please leave a review! I may continue this as a two-shot with more fluff if you guys like it! :)
Castiel had given up everything for Dean Winchester, he had rebelled, killed about thirty or more of his brothers and sisters, and did countless other things that went against every fiber of his incandescent being.
He chose this.
That still didn't stop him from punishing himself.
An angel's grace was extraordinary, whenever it felt the angel that held it was dying, it made a dramatic and beautiful scene. One that Cas had witnessed far too many times.
One that he had caused far too many times.
Humans and demons thought that the bright, shining light was an angel's spirit, finally coming to rest. They were, and still are, wrong. It was the grace making one final hurrah.
Each time Castiel plunged that archangel sword into one of his siblings, he got to experience their life, in a fraction of a second; all that angel was or ever would be was seared into his mind and stayed there.
It felt like hell.
He got to experience their life, feel their emotions (or lack thereof), and see every painful order be taken through. Lives that had been centuries old, experienced in under a second by a stranger.
By a murderer.
Yet, he felt as if it was his duty. If Castiel was going to kill his siblings, it was the least he could do. To let them know that someone else knew and understood their tragedies, their grief. He wrote all of it down as soon as he could. Page-long summaries of his victims' lives. So that he'd never forget what he ended.
One day, Cas had to kill one of the angels he had grew up with. Hyrti, he had looked so sad, so defeated; they hadn't even stepped towards each other.
Castiel understood why once he had won.
Hyrti had been under orders to find and kill him, otherwise he would never be able to redeem himself. He had been given another chance after being caught "rebelling".
Humans believed that angels were made to love and protect. Cas wanted to scream at all of them, tell them how stupid they truly were for taking that as truth.
They killed Hyrti's wife and children, right in front of the poor angel. He had been charged for loving a mortal, the price being tortured in prison for a year after being restrained and forced to watch his family's murder.
Cas barely managed to fly to the motel that the brother's were staying at before collapsing and breaking into horrible sobs that left him shaking. He was half-aware that Dean had drawn him into a hug, and was holding him while they sat in the floor, rubbing soothing circles on his back and shushing him like a mother would her child. Cas felt a small flicker of emotion at that observation... This, this was why.
Why he did it all. Why he rebelled, killed about thirty or more of his brothers and sisters, and did countless other things that went against every fiber of his incandescent being.
All for Dean Winchester.
