Note: I'm writing this on absolutely no sleep, because my cell phone decided that the perfect time to blare my annoying ringtone for when I get a text message is JUST as I'm trying to take a nap while I'm sick. So, in the absence of sleep, I am writing fanfiction. I got quite a nice and eloquent review on my last one, and I hope to get the same kind of polite response to this one. Warning you now, I'm sick, so I won't take any crap. If you flame or generally sound like a retarded a-hole when you comment, I will simply remove the review in question and not even bother answering it. This is a dark fic, and I expect it to be read as such. Be literate in your reviews. I don't even care if you use proper capitalization or punctuation. Just no... effing... 1337 speak, under-effin'-stand?
I know this is a tired overused cliche of a plot. Don't remind me.
In this fic, Purple is a female only because I needed him to be one. I normally don't gender-bend canon characters but Irkens don't have genders anyway, so whatever. Please don't hate me, it needed to be done.
I don't own Invader Zim, that lucky sun'bish Jhonen Vasquez does. That evil, delicious genius... *ahem*...
Father's Scorn, Mother's Regret
Zim gaped in broken shock at the viewscreen in front of him, his crimson eyes a dull shade of garnet in his confusion. His antennae drooped back low.
"My Tallest... what... what are you-"
"Stop calling us that, Zim. We're not your Tallest anymore. We told you. You're nothing to us. Stop calling us. You're a deluded, poorly-trained, unintelligent buffoon and there is nothing we would have liked more than to vaporize you as soon as you fucked up Impeding Doom I. Unfortunately, you and I both know why we couldn't do that. Do you understand, Zim? Do you?"
"I... hm. He he he... hahahaha..."
"Zim? What the hell are you laughing about?"
"Hahahahaha... hahaha..." Zim laughed maniacally, grabbing an object off the table next to him. "Ah. Yes. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew it would come to this, sir." Zim said darkly, his head tilted down in a sinister bow, giving the glint from his crimson eyes a dangerous sheen, contrasting with the shadows of his green skin. He'd grown a bit over his years on Earth, and his gangly thin body somehow gave him a dangerous, bony complexion. "Though I don't understand... why now? Why tell me now? Why not tell me back then?"
"You were too headstrong then. You'd already quit being banished once, who was to say what you'd do a second time? You're defective, Zim. A dangerous and unpredictable defective. You're a failure."
"I hear those words so often, sir. Though they are usually never directed at me. Fathers here... in this post-apocolyptic wasteland of a world... they drink, they hit, and more than once I've sheltered one or two poor broken souls from the rain. I never knew why until now. It just seemed right at the time."
Zim stood up straight, arching his spine to show off his near-Tallest height as a show of rebellion. He was still shorter than his Tallest by at least a foot, maybe a foot and a half, but he was still much taller than your average Irken by a long shot.
"I care not for your ramblings about the world you live in, Zim. I'm here to tell you that your 'mission' is hereby terminated."
"Does it look like I care at this point, sir? " Zim growled. He ran his fingers dangerously over the trigger of the laser weapon in his hands, talons raking along the smooth metal, creating a screeching sound that caused the red-eyed Tallest to flinch and snarl.
"What are you trying to prove, Zim?" A different voice this time, higher-pitched but no less authoritative. Purple placed her hand gently on Red's shoulder and her other hand fell below where the screen could view, but it was implied she held Red's other hand within her claw.
"At this point? Nothing, I suppose. Why would I? It's not like you ever cared. I should have seen it from the start but I was deluded and insane."
"Zim, stop. All this fighting isn't going to help."
"Don't you dare try to pull that shit with me!" Zim snapped, raking his claws down the viewscreen monitor, creating lines of interference for the instant the contact was there. "He basically just ripped my soul apart, and you dare to talk to me about help?" Zim shot the laser pistol three times out of rage, at his wall. Three smoking holes were left.
"Look, maybe you are insane, maybe you are a failed Invader but that's no reason to take it out on us!" Purple cried, clenching her two-fingered fists. "We haven't done anything wrong."
"You LIED to me! You led me on for ten years, made me think I was a true Invader! Made me think I was WORTH SOMETHING TO YOU!" Zim screeched, firing off his weapon until the charge nearly ran out. His computer chimed in.
"ZIM, THE LARGE-HEADED HUMAN IS WITHIN THE PERIMETER. HE'S RINGING THE DOORBELL."
"GIR! Answer that, goddammit, I'm in the middle of a conversation!"
Gir popped up from his place on the floor (where he was playing with blocks he'd "acquired" from an orphanage), and did as his Master commanded.
"Zim, I know what we did was wrong, but-"
"What? Now you're going to try and justify your actions? All the years of lying and leading me around like a blind man in the dark? Is that what I am? Some blind, deluded fool?"
"Zim, what's all the yelling down here?"
"Dib." was Zim's only response.
"Yeah, it's me. What's up?"
"Get out." Zim snarled.
"Zim, what's-"
"Get out!" Zim fired off his gun in Dib's direction, missing him by inches. Dib yelped and dove for cover.
"Listen, Zim. I'm through with pretty words. We're through here. I don't want to hear another transmission from you, you sick failure."
"Red!"
"Pur, look at him! He's a twisted fool. Knowing what he is... how could you not agree with me?"
"Red, please. Let's just try and talk this out with him at least."
"There's nothing to talk about anymore. He understands. He just needed a blunt reminder why we make the decisions around here."
Zim growled low in his throat, an inhuman and terrifying sound that began deep in his throat and emerged just behind his teeth, a rattling, high growl of agony and suffering. "All the pain and effort I've gone through... all for nothing?"
"We expected you to die before you even got to that filthy planet. Hell, we didn't even know there was a planet there."
"You should have known through my performance in Impending Doom I that I'm a bit more resilient than that."
"I'm through talking with you. We should never have allowed you to be outfitted with a PAK." Red walked away from the viewscreen, leaving a shaking Purple behind.
"Zim, there are some things you never knew, things we never outright lied to you about but things you simply never asked about and by association never learned. I regret Red's decision, I do! You have to understand, Zim. Everything we've done to you was all his decision. He's always been this way."
"But why? Why does he hate me so much? Sure, I'm... kind of a fuck-up, and I... I don't have a lot to work with... I just don't understand!"
"We're like a lot of species on that planet Earth of yours, Zim. Us Irkens are a warlike race, and in nature the runt of the litter is usually destroyed. It's a sign of weakness, Zim, and Red never could get over the fact that I had bypassed his orders and allowed you to live at all, let alone take part in Impending Doom I."
"I see. I... think I understand now." Zim stared down at the laser pistol clutched in his talon-like claw.
"I'm really, really sorry, Zim, but I have no choice but to go along with what Red wants. We may both be the Tallest, but he's really the one in control. He's got this... thing. Earth psychologists would probably call it some obsessive-compulsive thing. He needs control. I'm really sorry about all we've put you through, but I had no choice. Please, don't blame me for Red's shortcomings." Purple was nearly in tears, her violet eyes swimming and clutching her arms to her chest as if that would protect her from anything Zim could throw at her.
"No need to apologize... I think I understand it all now."
"I... don't expect you to forgive me."
"I understand. I do forgive you. It wasn't your fault I'm the way I am. However... tell your mate to watch his back."
". . . .Understood, Zim. Farewell."
Zim cut the transmission.
Back aboard the Massive, Purple sunk to her knees and broke down, tears burning a path of pain down her face but unable to stop.
"Are you finished with that failure? Does he understand he's not welcome?" Red snapped.
"How could you do that? I understand he's not our best soldier but that's never stopped him before! Can't you see he's trying?"
"He's a defective! He always was. Where intelligence is supposed to be, he has only insanity and blind ambition! He's dangerous, Pur!"
"He's not a danger to anyone but himself out there. You act like he's going to just up and destroy us one day. We should have kept up the charade, it would have been so much easier!"
Red narrowed his eyes. "This conversation is over."
"No, it isn't! I'm still talking to you, dammit! Red, get back here! Red!"
In Zim's base, Dib walked gently up to the control panel, which Zim had smashed with his large fists just moments before.
"Zim? You ok?"
Zim turned and collapsed in Dib's arms, not allowing himself to cry but giving Dib a withering stare that simply showed nothing but pain. "I know, Zim. I know. Come here, it'll be alright."
"They've abandoned me. Completely. Heh... look at me. I was a failure my entire life. I should have seen this coming. Even my own genetic donor units don't want me."
"Genetic what?"
"My parents, Dib-human. I thought that bit was obvious. You really are dense."
"Shit, Zim, the Tallest are your parents? Why was I never informed of this?"
"I never found the information to be relevant. All Irkens are genetically formed from the DNA of the current Tallest. Every Irken soldier from my generation is either my brother or my sister. Every Irken from the last generation was a child of Tallest Miyuki, and before that was the generation of Tallest Spork. It's simply normal in Irken society."
"Wait does that mean that Tak was..."
"Tak was part of Tallest Miyuki's generation, not my sister. She was closer to what you'd call my aunt, though not blood related to me. Therefore, mating with her wouldn't be taboo or anything, but I certainly still wouldn't do it. She's scary."
Dib's eye twitched. "Why does that strangely both disgust and arouse me?"
"Because she's 50 years older than I am and looks damn good for her age?" Zim supplied. Dib visibly shuddered. Zim chuckled darkly. He gave Dib a kiss on the cheek and walked away, dropping his nearly-dead plasma weapon on the floor on his way out. Dib followed suit.
"It sounds as if your mother was regretful. She sounded like she didn't want you to leave."
"She never did. She didn't even want me participating in Impending Doom I, though I believe it was for her own agenda, not my father's."
"But you got in anyway."
"And subsequently fucked it up royally, yes. That's what got me banished to Foodcourtia the first time. I escaped to prove to them that I could be a proper Invader and they sent me to this filthy ball of mud. Back then I assumed I was being given a second chance, but I see now I was wrong. Leave me alone, Dib-beast. I don't wish for you to see me in this state."
"Zim, if I can't see you at your worst, how the hell do you expect me to deserve you at your best?" Dib said sweetly. "Please, let me in. I care about you, Zim. I know this is hard for you."
"How could you know anything about what's hard for me? I'm an Irken Invader! I have no difficulty doing anything!" Zim cried, "I am ZIM!" Zim turned on his heel and stalked away, not allowing Dib to see the violet tears that formed in his ruby eyes. Dib shook his head.
"Zim, come on, don't do this. Don't go back to the way we were before! Don't shut me out, let me in!" Dib followed after Zim like a lost puppy, pleading with him.
"I said leave me, Dib-stink! I am... no longer worth your time and effort, so why are you still here? You should leave now, before you become another casualty of ZIM!"
"Because I am NOT leaving you to die here in misery!" Dib shouted, grabbing Zim by the wrists and shoving him roughly up against the wall. "I heard how your father spoke to you! I heard the scorn in his voice! Don't think I didn't! I know what it's like to be scorned and scoffed at by my own father, Zim! It's the story of my life! Do not shut me out now!"
Zim was stunned into silence by Dib's show of aggression and simply stayed put, his arms pinned to the wall behind him, with an angry human looking down at him.
"Zim, are you even listening to me?" Dib snapped, thrusting Zim against the wall again to get his attention. Zim growled at the treatment and his eyes brightened angrily as he shot a deadly glare at Dib.
"Get your filthy human stink-paws off of me." Spider legs shot forth from Zim's PAK and caught Dib straight in the face and chest, knocking him backwards. Dib pulled himself off the floor.
"Zim, stop this! I'm only trying to-GUK-" Zim slammed Dib in the stomach with his mechanical leg, shutting him up.
"Stop making those sounds with your meat-hole, human! I won't listen! I will find a way to exact my revenge on this filthy dirt-ball!"
"It isn't Earth you should be angry at! AGH!" Dib cried out at the leg cracked him in the throat. "I can help you get revenge on the one who really deserves it!"
"Lies! Filthy, human lies! This is all your fault, Dib-thing! I'd still have a mission if it weren't for YOU!"
"What are you-agh! Talking about Zim? I don't understand- oof!"
"All your fault... all your fault..." Zim finally broke down, tripping off his heightened mechanical pedestal and onto his side, curling up in the fetal position. "I'm a defective failure..."
"No, you're not, Zim, now get up. If you do, I promise I'll let you blow up a capital city."
Zim perked up a bit. "Really?"
"Yes, but a small one. Austin maybe. Sacramento. Boston maybe. But you have to get up."
"Why should I?"
"I'll let you use a giant laser." Dib said playfully.
Zim growled at him, but relented. "Fine. But after I blow up Boston I'm hopping on my ship and going after the Tallest. Gonna laser them too. You're going to help."
"Alright. But we'll leave your mom unharmed, ok? She seemed nice enough. Your dad, however... yeah, I'd like to shove his big stupid gauntlet things down his throat-AHH!" Zim's hand was suddenly around his throat, choking him. Then Zim let go. "Jeez, Zim, what the hell was that one for?"
"Sorry. Irken instinct keeps telling me to kill you whenever you bad-mouth the Tallest. Despite all logical reasoning, I can't stop that. You're going to have to keep it either in your own head or put up with the throttling."
"But you hate them."
"Yes, but millennia of in-bred instincts and genetic modification kind of wins out." Zim said, plucking himself off the floor and dusting off his shirt. "Not my choice."
"So when do we fly up into space and do you-know-what to you-know-who?" Dib asked carefully, hands flying to the level of his eyes to protect himself against any more possible stranglings.
"After I blow up this 'Boston' place. Where is it?"
"Let's hop in the Cruiser and I'll fly you there."
