Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fic. That said, on with the crack!


"So let me get this straight: You know what your master actually does at the Company? I was always told he did a reasonably good job of keeping up his front as a family man."

The Great Dane sat stock still, paws crossed and head slightly tilted, possessed by a look of utter confusion. Across from the larger dog was the much smaller, golden colored ball of fluff known throughout the ranks of Company pets as Mr. Muggles.

"He does hide his true job well." The Pomeranian yapped in a high-pitched bark. "At least from the rest of the family. I however have certain... methods of finding things out."

"Methods? As in, how, exactly? You know, if my master ever found out that your owner was letting information slip he wouldn't be happy." The Dane once again tilted his head, this time to the other side. It seemed to Mr. Muggles that the larger the breed, the more explaining things took.

"I really disapprove of the way you throw around words like "master" and "owner". I may be a dog, but I'm more than a mere pet. I'm an extremely well put together, prize winning example of good breeding, in the prime of my career. I can find out anything I want. Besides," he added, looking over his shoulder at the picnic table where Bennet sat with his family, having an overly friendly chat with the other dog's human, "he talks in his sleep. Surely, I'd have thought your "master" would have told you that."

"He-- doesn't talk to me much. You know, busy with work. And everything."

"I'm sure."

An awkward silence passed between the two canines for a few minutes. During that time, Mr. Muggles looked around the park, filled with so many families of so many Company employees trying their best to conceal their true business relationships. Surely, no one would notice two dogs, out of everyone's way, doing what dogs do. No one would notice a thing.

"I have a sort of business proposition for you," Muggles said, rising to all fours and starting his way over to some bushes a few feet away. "Okay, so it's not really business related, but-- Are you in?"

Staring back and forth between the group of smiling picnickers and the oh-so-tempting Bushes of Privacy, the Dane finally made his decision. Standing up, he jauntily trotted over to Muggles' side and into the shelter of the bushes. The smaller dog stood expectantly, waiting for the oafish Dane to take his position on the ground.

This was going to be a much better picnic than either of them had anticipated.