Author Note: Okaydokey, so here's the dealio; My Dalish Grey Warden sacrificed herself to the Archdemon, saving Ferelden and blah-blah-blah. So the party companions decide to each write a letter and put it in a chest which will then be sealed by magic, at the party camp. No idea where this idea came from, so please just go with the flow. Hope you like!
Oh, and my Grey Warden's a little bit of a slut so...yeah.
Disclaimer: Are Ali and Zev my own? Heck yeah, they're on my bed! Seriously though? No. They're only mine in my dreams...especially the naughty ones... *Stop quoting Zevran!*
To my darling Sylmae,
…how I miss you. The stars no longer sparkle, the sun no longer shines, the water no longer flows. You were the colours in my world and now that you are gone; my world in in shades of grey. How appropriate, since you were a Grey Warden.
Fruit is tasteless in my mouth, women nor men can no longer satisfy me. After experiencing your touch, no one else's can compare, my sweet. I responded to you and only you. Surely you must know that that meaningless flirting between me and Leliana was just that, meaningless?
Why did you leave me, my wandering Dalish flower? Was my love that unbelievable? Alas, I should not blame myself. 'Twas not my fault…was it? No, it was your choice alone when you severed the beast's head from it's shoulders. Your life, in exchange for the life of thousands. Millions. Such astonishing compassion. Valor. Selflessness. Beauty and honor in the same woman. Such a rare thing you were.
I know I came second with you, at least I did once, and it doesn't bother me now. Oh, you loved me, of that I have no doubt, but you always loved Alistair that little bit more. At first, it drove me insane. I was furious that you'd dared fall for him after I'd enticed you into my bed. Thankfully, you fell in love with me, too. When I feel jealous, I take pleasure in knowing it was me you came to when Alistair was furious at your idea of him marrying Anora. It was my shoulder you cried on when our visit to another Dalish clan brought back memories of your dear Tamlen.
I do love you, Sylmae. I regret never telling you that, more than I can say. At least you had accepted my proposal which you only could after Alistair tearfully ended your relationship, much to everyone's surprise. It was unthinkable, the thought that your relationship would cease because of duty. You two seemed so…infuriatingly inseparable, so it was quite a shock when dear Ali…ahem, 'broke up' with you. I was pleasantly astonished that the boy had finally upped and grown some balls. At least it allowed a chance for us to be together.
Ah, you would have been such a beautiful bride, Syl. With your long flowing hair, black as a moonless night and your eyes as blue as ice. Honestly, you would've been the most beautiful Dalish bride in history. We would've been married where we first place, if I remember rightly. An odd place for a wedding, but we were the odd couple, weren't we? The assassin and the mark. The murderer and the hero. Dark and Light.
After the wedding, we'd have traveled to my darling Antiva. We'd have stayed there for a while, getting our bearings, before killing the Grandmaster Crow and thus becoming the leaders. Master and Mistress of the Crows. Catchy, wouldn't you agree?
And then, of course, after many dedicated years of leading the Crows, we'd choose a suitable replacement leader before moving back to live with your Dalish clan.
I'd had everything planned out to the smallest detail, mi amora. Every little thing. How many children we'd have, names for them, good tutors…
I know how much you wanted children. When Lady Isolde pleaded for her son's life and asked if you knew about being a mother, I could see it in your face how much you wanted to be one I'd never given much thought about children, never wanted them, but being with you opened my mind to new ideas. We didn't know if you could even have a child due to the taint, but I was willing to try. A child, with you? I could think of nothing better. A little girl, with the angelic voice of a bard and the shadowy stealth of an assassin. Or a little boy, unmatched with a bow and unstoppable with a dagger. It makes me sad to think that the world will never be in the presence of our children.
That is it not my only regret. My other, the most important one, is that I never actually said the words 'I love you'. I could not bring myself to. I was scared. Me, master assassin, afraid of three little words! Thank the Gods Taliesen was not alive to see my cowardice. Mmm, that was a mean thing to write, wasn't it?
I only wish I'd told you before…never mind. I think you knew of my feelings for you, however. I wouldn't have asked for your hand if I didn't love you!
Ah, I should conclude this letter now. Times flies when remembering one's love, hmm? Although my words may seem flippant and emotionless, my dear, tears pour down my cheeks as I write.
I really want to burn this letter and throw it to the wind. The wind always did remind me of you. So wild and free. Still, if your soul somehow comes through the Fade to my world again, I want my letter to be the first your hands touch should you find this chest.
I love you, Sylmae Mahariel. So, so much. When I was fighting below with Sten, Wynne, Oghren and Loki, I thought only of you. I desperately wanted to be by your side, but I knew I'd only slow you do with the wound on my right arm. I know it was for my own good, but I can't help but curse every time I think about it. In my opinion, I could've stopped you from sacrificing yourself. Better than that idiot Alistair ever could.
I remember seeing the beacon of light that shot up from where the Archdemon lay, some sort of signal that caused the Darkspawn to flee. The light had been bright and so beautiful, but I knew what it meant. I knew a Grey Warden had given their life to save ours. Deep down inside, I knew it was you. At that moment, the colours seeped away and ceased to exist in my world. You ceased to exist in my world.
So farewell, my Dalish sweetheart. May your soul rest easy. And… please do not forget me; I will never forget you. Truly, the Maker smiled upon me the day he sent you my way.
Yours forever and always,
Z. x
N'awwww. Poor Zev. I hope the letter brought a tear to your eye, or you at least liked it. Anywho, please read and review, it would make my day. If I get enough reviews, then I'll put the next chapter up. :P
Merci
xx
