Disclaimer: All rights belong to Tamora Pierce.
Chapter 1: Drunk Honeylove Come-on
They were in the Jugged Hare, Kel, Neal, Merric and Dom. They were drinking and eating and laughing together. Kel had perhaps drunk a little too much, and her mind was buzzing strangely. Several times, she caught herself thinking about leaning over and kissing Dom, right out of the blue, and that was something she would never, ever think about when she was sober.
Neal went to join a card game and told Dom and Merric to keep an eye on her. Merric broke his promise quickly at the first wink from a pretty girl at the back of the tavern, and she was left alone with Dom.
She and Dom talked for a bit. Or rather, he talked and she slurred back. They had some catching up to do. Dom told her about the Own and Lord Raoul. Kel told him about Neal and New Hope. Ladedah. Then they spoke a bit about strategy, when they thought the war was going to be over. Kel was itching to ask Dom about the lady friend Neal had told her about, but she thought she would betray herself if she did.
Then Dom had to go outside to piss, and Kel said Okay, be back soon, and he shook his head and smiled at her. And Kel thought later that of course, what happened next would only happen to her when she was drunk and alone and there was a blueberry pie stain on her tunic.
It went like this:
A pretty barmaid came up to her and asked if she'd like another drink. Kel said, "NoooOOOooooo, thank you." The barmaid pressed. What about wine? No, said Kel. She offered Kel more food, pastries, lemon water and scented oils for her hands, a shoulder rub. All of which Kel turned down as she became increasingly uncomfortable. She looked toward the door to see if Dom would appear, but just like a man, he didn't. Finally, she said to the barmaid, "Thank you, I don't need anything. I think what I really need is my bed."
The barmaid smiled a pretty, shy smile and sat down next to Kel. "I have a bed upstairs," she said, "perhaps you could come up, and we could… share it."
Kel gulped. Her mind groped for words, but everything in her head seemed to be sloshing around, and she couldn't get a hold on anything. She managed to say, "I think you've made a mistake. I'm a woman."
The barmaid smiled again. "Anyone could see that, milady." And then she took Kel's hand and drew it up under her skirt.
Kel felt suddenly soberer.
And Dom was back. "Did I miss anything?—Oh." He turned bright red, right to his ears. "Uh—um."
Kel snatched her hand back. "We should really get going big day tomorrow jousting might be killed better get some shut eye." As Kel whizzed past him, Dom grabbed his and her cloaks and took a moment to tell Neal they were leaving.
"Why so early?" Neal asked him, but Dom was already gone.
By the time Dom got outside, Kel had scurried up the lane just far enough away to feel she'd removed herself from the site of humiliation, but not so far that Dom couldn't see her. He walked up to her slowly and handed over her cloak. "She just—did you see—I couldn't—"
"Yeah," said Dom.
They started toward the palace.
"Did she think you were a man or something?" Kel thought she caught him looking at the flat front of her tunic, and it stung her that he'd noticed how flat-chested she was, even if it was plain to see.
"No," Kel replied.
"Oh," said Dom. "Did—uh, um, nevermind. It's a nice night tonight, eh?"
Oh, Goddess.
The rest of the walk was excruciating. She kept wanting to tell him what had happened, but a combination of the ale and her own silliness kept her from constructing any coherent sentences. She only got as far as clearing her throat.
He walked her to her rooms. Dom didn't normally do this, and that made it worse.
She was through her door and about to thank him when she'd noticed he'd come in after her. A look of concern and considerable discomfort graced his features. Kel braced for impact.
"You know, Kel. Eh." He reached out and shut the door. He was completely red again. Kel stared at him. "You know, Kel, it's okay if you're… What I'm saying is that… Everyone is different, and we all have our… we have to find our way in life, and sometimes that involves experimentation, and sometimes we find we like new things, and it's fine to like new things, and there is no shame in… What I'm saying is that, you shouldn't feel you have to hide things about yourself, because we're friends, and friends… care. And hell, let me tell you, no one could fault you for… especially, I mean, I love women, I always have, and I think it's great if you've decided to love women too. If you have." Perhaps we should mention, Dom was a little drunk too.
Kel got the gist of what he was saying halfway through and mortification settled over her anew. By the time he was done, the part of her brain that produced speech had finally come through for her. "Dom, I'm not a… I don't love women. She just came on to me, and I didn't realise until too late."
"Oh. All right I just wanted to… make sure."
"No, of course… Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They stood in silence a moment. Dom did that thing he did when he was uncomfortable, which was to swing his arms in front of him and slap his fist into his palm, and again, and again.
Kel forced a laugh. "I guess it was kind of funny."
"Yeah, haheha." Still palm slapping.
Another laugh. "Of course, I never even thought that was where she was going. I've never even thought of it. Have you ever—I mean, how could two women… I can't picture it, can you? Two women, together…"
Dom's mouth fell open. Then he closed it. "No, I've never pictured anything… like that."
"Me neither."
"No siree, never. I'm not the type."
"What?"
"Not for me."
"No."
"I'd better be going."
"Yeah."
"I'll go then."
"Yeah."
"I just wanted to make sure. I just wanted you to know that we're all friends, and we'll support you."
"Thank you, Dom."
"Okay, good night."
"Good night…"
"Bye."
"Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"No, that won't happen to me."
"Okay."
And then they both went to bed. And the Drunk Fairy was cruel, and the next morning they remembered everything.
