I have had a rather long break from writing fanfic, but after getting into Major Crimes in a big way in sparked something that made me determined to get this onto a page. I haven't decided whether this will be a one off or to carry it on. I would love to know what you think. I haven't used lyrics before, but I just think the song is so perfect to describe the Sharon/Rusty relationship. Thanks for reading.
Fix You
'Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you.' – Fix You – Coldplay.
What do you do when something is broken? Do you toss it away and replace it? Or do you spend the time trying to put in back together again? Why does it matter? It matters to me because time and again in my life I've been thrown out with the rubbish. No one ever spent the time trying to put the broken kid back together again.
That was until I met her, the woman who took the time learning about all of the pieces before carefully trying to put them together again. Her name is Sharon Raydor, and she saved my life.
Walking through the front door of the condo Sharon frowned as her eyes started to adjust to the darkness surrounding her. She frowned before glancing down at her watch maybe she was later than she thought. As her eyes focused she could make out the hands confirming it was only just after 9. 'Rusty?' She spoke out into the darkness, trying to hide the slight concern in her voice. It wasn't like him to go out without letting her know.
Sharon reached across and turned on the lights. She walked across to the sofa and laid her bag down before removing her shoes. Scanning the room she noticed the trainers he had been wearing earlier in the day on the floor by the kitchen, with a jacket laid across the back of a chair. Rubbing her hands across her face she took a deep breath. The meeting between Rusty and his biological mum clearly hadn't gone well.
Pushing herself up from the sofa she walked over to the kitchen and took a can of soda from the fridge. She paused for a moment and removed another one before closing the door of the fridge behind her. As she reached the door to Rusty's bedroom she paused for a moment before gently knocking. As she had expected there was no response from the room. 'I'm coming in…'
Sharon wasn't sure that she would ever get situations like this right, it had been a trial and error thing since the first time but this was bad and she knew it almost straight away. Choosing to turn on the uplighter in the corner of the room it filled the room with a gentle light, as expected the light showed the curled up figure lying on the bed. Feeling a lump rising in her throat she swallowed hard, this was not the time for her tears. It would never cease to amaze her how small he looked lying there. He was taller than her standing, yet in these moments he always looked like a child… her child, and whether he knew it or not right now, he needed her. Sitting next to him on the bed she put the cans of soda onto the table next to the bed before reaching over and placing a hand on his duvet covered arm. She could feel him shaking and it took all of her will power not to hold him into a hug straight away.
'I bought you a soda…' Sharon wasn't sure whether or not it was the right thing to say, but she needed something to break the tension that surrounded them. She ran her hand up and down his arm a few times before moving a hand to move the duvet surrounding his face. She stroked the damp hair back from his eyes.
'What flavour?' The tear ravaged voice came from beneath the covers. Rusty rolled onto his back before pulling himself up to rest against the headboard. He pushed the covers onto the floor before pulling his knees up into his chest.
Sharon let the corner of her mouth curl into a smile before reaching across and picking up the two cans. 'You choose.' She held them out and let Rusty choose his flavour.
Rusty opened the can before moving across on the bed and making space for Sharon to sit next to him, there was a time not that long ago when even the thought of letting someone see him showing any sort of emotion, let along his tear strewn face would have terrified him completely. This was different though, he felt completely safe. She made him feel safe.
Sharon watched him move and realised that it was an invitation. She felt her body relax, he wasn't chasing her out of the room, instead he was letting her stay, he was starting to let her in. 'How long have you been home?' She spoke as she moved next to him on the bed and pulling her legs up on copy his position.
'Couple of hours I guess.' Rusty glanced across to the clock on the wall and realised it was a lot longer that he had originally thought. 'I was going to come to the office, but I wasn't sure I could let them see me.' He stopped, there was no need to carry on. They both knew that there were some barriers he hadn't broken down yet, and being that emotional in public was one of them. 'I would have called, but you had a case and you. Well you didn't need any more of my baggage. You do so much already Sharon…'
Sharon looked at the boy who to all the world she loved as her son. She was prouder of him than he would ever let himself believe, and seeing him this hurt again broke her heart. She placed her soda can down and turned her body slightly so she could place a hand on either side of his face. 'Never think that you can't phone me Rusty, I hate the idea of you sat her alone. Yes I have a case, but sometimes family comes first.' Reaching across she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before moving back.
Reaching across Rusty took her hand in his, not ready to lose all contact yet. 'I don't think I'll ever get it Sharon…'
She cocked her head at him. 'What?'
'What you see that she can't. How the woman who gave birth to me could…' He turned his head away, knowing that another tear was threatening to fall. He swallowed hard. 'I don't understand how you can want me… when she can't.' He forced himself to look back at her. 'What's wrong with me Sharon?'
'Oh my God Rusty, there is nothing wrong with you.' She couldn't stop herself moving her arms she manoeuvred them so Rusty was leaning into her and she could hold him close, once again rubbing gentle circles across his back.
'Then why am I here? With you…' He stopped before looking at her. 'I didn't mean that, God Sharon I will never get why you want me, why you… Why you love me.' He looked at knowing it was true.
'It isn't about the why Rusty. Circumstances bought us here, but know I wouldn't change any of it. Your Mothers loss is my gain, and I will always be here. Always.'
