Alright, there's a lot on the table with this one. I've taken a lot of liberties, but that's what writing and creativity is all about!
Any speech in "italics" is a past conversation. I hope you all enjoy! Please read and review! :)
It had started off as a casual enough conversation via video message. Just two men, two friends, one the former captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise, the other the present. The usual had been discussed, recent travels, new discoveries, close calls and a bit of scolding from the older gentleman, followed by smirks and nonchalant shrugs from the younger. Soon the conversation drifted off into more recent topics that needed to be brought into light.
"So, you're currently en route to New Vulcan?"
"Yeah, Sulu informed me that we should be there in approximately twenty-four hours."
"Good." Pike nodded before continuing. "I heard they're doing quite well recolonizing and rebuilding."
Jim nodded in affirmation, "Yeah, it's amazing how much they've recovered after just one year."
It was amazing how much time had gone by. Tomorrow would mark the one-year anniversary of the destruction of the planet, Vulcan. Stardate 2259.42 or in earth time, February 11th, 2259.
So much had changed that day in such a short amount of time. Lives were lost, families broken, nearly an entire race wiped out in what had felt like mere seconds. Many felt the devastation of that day and gaped at the horrific idea that an entire planet was gone, but no one more so than the remaining Vulcans. Although they might not have shown it much after the shock of the events wore off, due to their training to conceal all emotions, the loss of loved ones and their home planet weighted heavily on their hearts.
Pike slowly nodded once again in agreement as a frown began to form upon his face. This caught Jim's attention as he recognized the expression his friend and mentor held. That look only appeared when Pike felt a serious matter needed to be discussed.
There was a hesitant silence that grew between them.
"How's Spock doing?" he finally asked.
Jim wasn't surprised by the question. If fact, he had been wondering himself.
The Vulcan High Counsel had requested that the Enterprise journey to the new planet for a remembrance ceremony for all those who were lost, and an honorary tribute to the crew and Starfleet for the rescue and services in helping them recover. They would be arriving tomorrow in the early afternoon, as the date drew closer, their concern for the Vulcan-Human hybrid increased.
The young captain ran a hand through his dark blond hair and sighed. "I don't know, Pike." He answered honestly. "He…He's just as stoic and logical as ever."
Pike released a sigh as well and shook his head. "I wouldn't expect anything less from him."
Many people knew it was Chris Pike who convinced a young, rebellious James T. Kirk to join Starfleet and follow in his legendary father's footsteps. That it was Pike who helped and guided him and never once gave up on the young man. But very few knew that before Jim, there was Spock. Pike had been there for Spock when no one else was, supporting him when his father did not, respecting and encouraging both his human and Vulcan genetics, he was even the one who taught him how to play three-dimensional chess.
In all his years, the only thing Pike regretted was never settling down with a family of his own, but ever since Spock and Jim walked into his life, he realized that he had everything he ever wanted. Two young men he would scolded when they had done something idiotic, two young men he praised for a job well done, two young men he smiled at as he watched them grow and succeed, two young men he considered his sons who he would gladly give his own life for.
A silence fell between them for the second time. The older man's eyes gazed down upon the desk, suddenly becoming interested in his hands.
"I don't suppose he's mentioned anything about tomorrow's date."
It was a statement more than a question.
"It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't. I can't imagine him bringing it up on his own. He's trying to avoid it I'm sure."
Jim's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Pike raised his gray eyes, a hint of sadness in them, to meet Jim's blue ones.
"You and Spock have more in common then you know." He spoke in all seriousness.
The riddle was left hanging in the air for the young man to figure out.
Jim thought for a moment, cocked his head to the left and focused on the bottom corner of the screen as if he'd find the answer there.
All too soon, his head slowly straightened again, his eyes finding Pike's. The look of realization and disbelief colored his face; his mouth parted slightly, too shocked to form words.
Christopher Pike simply nodded. Confirming what James T. Kirk had just discovered.
The conversation that had taken place with Pike earlier that morning was still racing through his mind as he sought out Spock. He had ventured to his quarters, intent to speak to him privately, only to find them empty.
After a few hours of searching, his determination paid off. It was by mere chance that he finally located his First Officer in a lone observation lounge.
Unlike most other lounges on the ship, this one was rarely used. The most that it was used was when the Starship would return to earth every few months. Class trips from grade school to high school could tour the ship with special permission granted by the Federation for students who showed an interest in a future career in Starfleet. It was a wide, open room with a large viewing window that could also display presentations by crew members to the curious minds of the next generation of officers. However, it lacked in any type of tables or chairs, leaving the only place for sitting to be the floor; giving few people any reason to visit the area.
Nevertheless, that is where he found Spock in that very moment. Sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the viewing window, elbows on his knees and his chin resting upon his folded hands.
As he took in the sight of the Science Officer and the way he sat there, his back facing him, staring out the window; he couldn't help but shake his head in sympathy. He understood what he was going through, even if Spock didn't realize it himself. Jim knew this conversation was not going to be an easy one, but it was one that needed to be had, whether Spock liked it or not.
When he did not turn around, it became clear that Spock did not know of the other presence in the room, even as the door swished shut behind him.
Jim took in a deep breath and released it again before slowly making his way to Spock's side.
Spock sensed movement on his right and turned his head in the slightest to investigate, he faced forward again, fully prepared to ignore the distraction, when he registered the gold-colored uniform shirt, and quickly looked back again. Jim would have laughed if the situation had been different, he never thought that he would see a Vulcan preform a double-take. So, instead he just offered a greeting smile.
"Evening, Mr. Spock."
"Good evening, Captain." He began to get to his feet. "Are you in need of my assistance?"
Before he could get too far, Jim held up a hand to halt the Vulcan in his actions.
"As you were, Commander."
He was hesitant, but Spock lowered himself back down. Jim could see a hint of confusion written on his face, most people would have missed it if they hadn't looked closely.
"I just felt like taking a stroll." He shrugged his shoulders. "Mind if I join you?"
"If you wish."
Jim was thoroughly surprised that Spock permitted him to stay but was careful not to show it.
He got down on the floor, crossed one leg over the other in front of himself and leaned back on his hands to support his weight. Spock had kept his eyes on him the whole time, no doubt perplexed as to why the captain was there and so keen to join him.
He ignored the look and gazed out the window that was in front of them, soon enough, Spock continued to do the same.
Jim took note that he still sat in the same position as when he first walked in, only now his hands were folded in his lap and he sat up straighter. He guessed that Spock was probably a bit uncomfortable with the current situation that he suddenly found himself in.
"So…" he began after a moment of silence. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Vulcans do not require the same amount of sleep as humans do." Came the monotone reply.
Jim nodded before turning his attention back to the window. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep either."
The information that he had learned from Pike would not allow him to sleep. Spock had no knowledge of the many attempts he had taken during the day to try and sit down for a private talk with him. However, different tasks and disruptions prevented it, not to mention his own uncertainties. Each time Jim had a small window of opportunity to speak with him, his mind would question if it was the right time. He wanted to help Spock, he really, truly did. He was just unsure if the Vulcan would let him. He had decided to speak to Spock in the morning before they arrived at New Vulcan, but his thoughts and concerns for his friend would not leave him.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Jim found himself saying, unable to tear his gaze away from the view.
Millions of stars flashed by as they traveled at warp speed. It was quite humbling to just sit and take it all in, knowing that you were just one small person in such a huge universe, most of which had not even been discovered yet. For Jim, it was hard to fathom why anyone would not want this, to travel through space to see amazing and at times, dangerous worlds. To behold for yourself what there was beyond the skies only then to have your mind blown by things even your wildest imagination could not conjure up.
Spock did not look away either. "Indeed."
They remained silent before Jim spoke up again.
"Penny for your thoughts, Spock?"
When he did not receive an answer right away, he turned to his left to find Spock staring at him. His eyebrows being the only indicator of his confusion.
"Captain, surely you know that the use of coinage in currency was eliminated many years ago, with the penny being discontinued in the mid twenty-first century. Also, how would that be a fair trade on your part?"
Jim shook his head, his grin breaking into a light chuckle.
"It's just an old saying, Spock. It means, 'what are you thinking about?' Tell me, what's on your mind?"
Spock's face went back to its neutral form.
He looked down at his hands then back up to the glass.
Jim's smile vanished as he waited patiently to see if he would get a reply. He was quite surprised when he finally did.
"How long does the grieving process last for humans?"
It was an innocent, yet difficult question to say the least. One that had baffled even the most brilliant of minds for centuries; and right now, it was baffling Jim's.
He took a moment to review his thoughts and opinions on the matter and hoped that Spock would be receptive to them.
"Well…" he began as he pulled his legs in and rested his arms on his knees. "that's a good question. I believe it's different for everyone. Some people grieve a long time, while others don't. There's no time limit, all that matters is what you feel."
It was only natural coming up on the first anniversary where he lost so much that Spock would be experiencing emotions like these, anyone would. He lost his own mother right before his very eyes, he watched and even felt the very grounds he grew up on break apart as if they were nothing but wet clay. Now he was left to deal with feelings he never experienced at such a level before. Emotions that were felt a year ago, now resurfaced just as strongly as if the event had occurred only yesterday.
Jim looked over at Spock, his focus still on the stars that raced by in the dark void of space, but he could tell he was listening.
"It might sound stupid or illogical since I never actually met him, but I still miss my dad."
James T. Kirk was not the type of person who would open up about his past easily. The only ones to know about his feelings concerning his father were Pike, Bones and now Spock.
All throughout his childhood his own family had told him that you can't grieve for someone that you never knew, and for a while, he believed them. There was not much love in the Kirk house-hold after the day of George's death and Jim's birth. As he grew, his mother, whether intentional or not, began avoiding him as he had a remarkable resemblance to her late husband, while his Uncle Frank never liked him from the start. Sam, his older brother, had been the only one to show him any type of affection and positivity, but even that ended once Sam ran away.
In his mind, Jim knew that his brother left because of Frank, but in his heart, he felt as if Sam had walked out on him. He left him behind without a second thought, just up and out the door when he needed him most. He never saw his brother again after that day, he wasn't even sure of where he was. Sam never came looking for him, never bothered to get in touch and reconcile. So, in turn, neither did Jim.
By the time he became an adult, he had forgotten what it was like to have a family, he often wondered about how his life would have been if his father had survived.
It was during his unruly, bar-fighting phase that Pike came along and knocked some sense into him. Soon after that, he met Leonard McCoy on the shuttle destined for Starfleet.
In no time, both had fallen into the roles of father-figure and older brother. Through Pike, he learned about the great man his father was, and Bones taught him that his birthday was a celebration of life for both himself and George.
He still missed the dad he never knew greatly, but he now had his own ship and a crew who would always be there for him, they were so much more than a team, they were his family, and that's all he had ever wanted.
Looking at Spock now, he couldn't let him go through this situation alone. At that moment, Jim knew that now was the right time to reveal what he knew.
"You know, some days can be harder to deal with than others. Certain things come up, and it's all you can think about."
The Vulcan nodded slowly to show that he agreed.
He hadn't said much during the past few minutes, but Jim had a feeling that was all about to change.
"I know what tomorrow is, Spock." He said evenly, waiting to see what the First Officer would say.
"Stardate 2259.42," Spock supplied. "exactly one year since the Narada's attack upon Vulcan; and all whom were planet side perished… including my mother."
"And your birthday."
Spock stared at Jim in as must shock as the half-Vulcan could show. His eyebrows were now one with his dark bangs, and his mouth was parted ever so slightly.
He quickly recovered from the unexpected truth being mentioned.
"That is of no importance, Captain."
"Now why would you say that?"
He went silent for a moment, his gaze traveling down to his hands. If Spock had been fully human, Jim was sure he would have sighed.
"Because the date of one's birth should not overshadow that of a tragedy."
"And a tragedy should not overshadow one's birthday." He countered back.
He put his legs down to sit in the same position that Spock was in, cross-legged with his elbows on his knees.
Spock looked over at the man next to him, his dark brown eyes meeting Jim's blue ones.
"Captain, if you are suggesting that I simply forget the events that occurred a year ago… I'm… I'm afraid that is something that I cannot do."
Jim smiled and shook his head.
"I'm not suggesting that at all, Spock. You won't ever forget, you shouldn't forget, nobody should. But tell me this, if your mother were here right now, what would she say to you?"
Spock raised his eyebrows at the unexpected question. He knew exactly what his mother would say.
On Vulcan, birthdays were not a cause for celebration, but to Amanda Grayson they certainly were.
She had always had something planned when Spock or his father, Sarek, had grown another year older. A surprise trip somewhere for just the three of them, a dinner prepared by her that consisted of whatever they requested, special treats after said meal and gifts that she had hand-picked or made herself. They had always insisted that it was unnecessary for her to go through such troubles and inconveniences simply for the date on which they were born. But she had always just smiled and carried on, saying that it was a pleasure to spoil them and that she did it out of love.
Spock and Sarek had stride to do the same for Amanda when her birthday would come around. Although it was difficult for the Vulcans to grasp the full understanding of why birthdays were of such importance to humans. Their attempts to make her happy on that day had never stemmed from the need to return the favor, as humans would say, they came from the same source of which her efforts had, out of love.
"She…she would tell me to not dwell on what has happened in the past. To remember her the way she was."
Jim's smile widened. "That's what my dad would say to me too."
That he was sure of. Without ever meeting George Kirk or Amanda Grayson, Jim knew that they were both amazing people who would never be forgotten by anyone, especially their own sons.
"Do you know why humans celebrate birthdays, Spock?"
He tilted his head, interested in the explanation that would follow.
"We do it to celebrate the life of someone we care about. To show them how much they mean to us. It's a chance for friends and family to appreciate that person and all that they have done and your mother and my father are no exceptions. We're part of a very small percentage of people who have lost a parent on their birthday, Spock. For us, we don't just celebrate our lives, we also celebrate theirs."
There was a long silence that filled the room after Jim had concluded his speech. Spock seemed to be processing what he had heard, looking at it from every angle just as any Vulcan would.
After several long minutes, he finally spoke, "Captain, I have reached the conclusion that I agree with you and your statement."
Jim smiled his widest grin yet, relief dancing in his blue eyes.
"I'm very glad to hear that, Mr. Spock."
He knew, from his own experience, how difficult this was for Spock. It was still hard for him to deal with after all these years. There had been many birthdays that Jim had spent alone sad, confused and even angry. Sometimes he had even felt that he was the cause of his dad's death. It had been so hard and painful on his own and now learning that Spock was in the same position, brought back all those memories.
"You know…" Jim said thoughtfully. "I never thought I'd meet anyone else who would know what it was like… and I can't express how sorry I am that you do. It's hard and it's emotional… But having a friend by your side makes it easier."
He reached down into his right pocket as Spock watched him curiously.
"I was going to wait until tomorrow, but-"
Spock turned to look up at the digital calendar on the back wall near the ceiling.
"It would appear, Captain, that tomorrow's date is now that of today's. We are currently forty-two minutes, and twenty-five seconds into Stardate 2259.42."
Jim turned to look as well and nodded.
"Well then-" he said turning back to Spock. "All the more reason to give you this."
He pulled out a simple, gray box, no bigger then his hand and held it out towards his friend.
"Happy birthday, Spock." He said with a smile.
The Vulcan version of surprise showed itself once again on Spock's pale face.
"Captain, that is quite unnecess-"
"Just open it, Spock."
Without any further words, he obeyed and took the box from Jim's outstretched hand.
It wasn't heavy by any means, but there was a bit of weight to the small package. Spock took the lid off to find a black-cloth covering the object. He carefully lifting it from its container and placed the box off to the side, slowly he began to unwrap the material. What he found underneath rendered him completely speechless.
In his hands he held a small, chipped and misshapen rock barely the size of his palm. Spock's eyes were wide with amazement, his mouth agape, too shocked to form words.
The color was unmistakable, a blend of light brown and orange, a combination that was forever burned into his memories.
A piece of Vulcan ground.
He gently turned it over and over in his hands, feeling every crack and crevice upon it, when suddenly something caught his eye. Embedded in the side of the desert rock sat a tiny, green gem only about the size of a grain of rice.
"A Vulcan Emerald…" his voice was nothing but a whisper.
Spock looked up at Jim in awe.
All Jim could do was smile.
"I've actually had that for a few months now. Found it on a vendor's table during our last shore leave. I had Sulu scan it about five times, it's the real deal, completely authentic."
Before the planet was destroyed, Vulcan Emeralds were quite common. Once treated, they emitted a deep shade of green, darker than most other types of emeralds. They also ranked on the Mohs scale to be just as hard as the diamonds on earth, making them very popular with jewelers and collectors.
Now that Vulcan was gone, they became the most sought after and precious mineral to own, even the smallest piece was considered a rarity to possess. The funny thing was, when Jim first saw it, he didn't even realize that it contained an emerald. It was the stone itself that caught his eye, the gem was just a bonus.
He had planned the whole time to give it to Spock, he had just been waiting for the right time. When Ambassador Sarek invited them to New Vulcan he decided he would do it then, but when he found out about his birthday, he knew it would make the perfect gift.
He deliberately left out the part about paying quite a pretty penny for it. But he didn't care about the money.
"It's not much, but I thought you should at least have a little piece of it back."
Spock looked down at the rock in hands, tenderly stroking it with his thumb.
To him, it was beautiful, not just the emerald, but the rock itself.
Ground that he once walked upon, dirt that he thought he would never see or feel again was sitting in his hand. A small portion of Vulcan had survived somehow. It gave Spock hope that if this little rock could do it, then he could too.
If Jim noticed the single tear that slowly streamed down Spock's cheek, he didn't mention it.
Without a single word or a moment's hesitation, he scooted closer and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, just as Sam should have done for him many years ago.
They sat like that for several minutes.
In learning the date of his birthday, Jim also discovered that Spock turned twenty years old that day.
It had taken him utterly by surprise to find out that the Commanding Officer was a whole six years younger than he was.
Pike had explained that Vulcans aged slower, which was why they tended to live longer. However, Spock's human half gave him the appearance of being older than he really was.
He had always wondered what it was like to have a little brother to be there for. Sam had abandoned him, too concerned with his own self-pity to realized just how much he was needed.
Bones turned out to be the big brother that Sam never was. But in that very moment, sitting with the young Vulcan, Jim realized he was now an older brother. He silently vowed then and there to always be there for Spock, he promised to never leave him behind the way that Sam left him. He thought about Ambassador Spock and what he had said about his friendship with the Captain Kirk from that time line. Jim now understood that it wasn't just a friendship, but a strong brotherhood.
He only hoped that one day Spock would realize it too.
After a long, comfortable silence, Spock gazed up at his captain. Eyes lightly moist with unshed tears, a true Vulcan smile displayed across his lips.
"Thank you, Jim."
He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Spock had called him 'Jim' without needing to be prompted. Crystal-clear proof that progress was being made and they were on the right track to becoming the unbreakable duo that Ambassador Spock spoke so highly of.
As simple of a phrase as it was, it made Jim beam.
"You're welcome, Spock." He gave his shoulder a squeeze.
They were still a few hours away from having to report to the Bridge for their shifts, and it would be several more hours before they finally reached New Vulcan.
Jim stood up and stretched his arms above his head, while Spock rewrapped his new treasure and placed it protectively back into its box.
"What would you say to a game of 3-D chess, Mr. Spock?"
Spock still held that small smile, but Jim was positive that he had seen it grow in the slightest.
"I believe that would be most enjoyable."
He held out his hand for Spock to take and pulled him to his feet.
"Now, don't go thinking that just cause it's your birthday that I'm gonna let you win."
Spock just shook his head. "I would never dream of it, Jim."
I had always thought that Pike and Spock had some kind of friendship, this in evident in "Star Trek Into Darkness" as Pike was dying. I have also really loved the idea of Spock being younger than Jim. I'm not sure how Vulcans age, but I'd like to think that my explanation makes sense for the story. As for as I know, Vulcan Emeralds do not exist. I made them up thinking that Spock deserved a small part of his world back, and an emerald just felt like the right choice.
I really hoped you all enjoyed! Please let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading! :)
