Terrible times. Terrible, terrible times. My modem died, so I bought a new one. That didn't work, so I called our internet company. Spent the next 5 hours talking to them over the fuckin phone. That didn't work. So finally, after another hour, one person had the galls to say it was my router! Then suddenly it changes to my Ethernet cord. WTF. So returned the new modem we bought and got another one. Thankfully this one works and we have our internet back. Son of a…I hate cable companies.
Anyways, this was based off of Ayumi Hamasaki's Moments because it's a beautiful song and I like the message portrayed from it.
Have fun reading!
What you adored looked beautiful to you
It became even brighter because you couldn't reach it
Saturday April 16. 12:36 am
He's rushed into the hospital because of a terrible accident only he survived. His brain and hearing are still a little fuzzy, but he was sure he heard all the dead victim's names correctly. They were his friend's, and they've known each other since kindergarten. Such precious moments were now mere memories. Even if he could muster it up, he was seething deep down. Because of some punk ass drunk driver, they were all gone. He'll never see them again. He has to carry this information on his back every single day for the rest of his life and walk by all their usual hangouts knowing they won't be back. His last night out with his friends were immediately followed by his major blackout. And when he woke up, he was in a gurney, and lifted onto a medical bed.
There was lots of talking and barking of commands, everyone seemed to be going insane. All this hectic commotion for one person, it was laughable. Too bad for him, his throat and insides hurt too much to even try. So he watched the nurses and the paramedics attach wires into his body and pump what appeared to be clean oxygen into his lungs.
Suddenly the door bursts open and all heads are turned to the lone figure standing in the doorway. From what his hazy eyes could tell, it's a small petite woman holding something in her hand. She moved past all the chaos and straight for the patient and put the back of her palm against his cheek. It feels nice on his overheated skin; he wouldn't mind her touching him again. He inwardly frowned when she takes her hand away.
She started giving out commands and said them so authoritative and fiercely, no one dared disobey. As everyone started moving, but at a more slow and steady pace, she turned to him and smileed.
"Don't worry Hyuga-san, you're going to make it."
He likes the sound of her soft and peaceful voice; it's soothing and calms his raging mind. It was the last thing he hears before he passes out from fatigue.
Monday April 18. 3: 29 pm
"You're finally awake." He hears her voice again and it's just as soft the first time he heard it.
He mumbled something incoherent and the doctor leans in closer.
"I'm sorry I can't hear you all that well."
"…time…"
"Oh, it's April eighteenth and it's 3:29 in the afternoon. You've been out for two days."
"My throat…"
"Yeah, it's pretty dry right now, but we can't have you drink any liquids or eat and solid food until we're fully healed with your throat. So we're pumping in food and water for you." She gently placed her fingers inside his palm, "You're lucky to be alive Hyuga-san, it was a one in a million chance you survived. Get some rest; I'll be back later to do some daily checkups. And don't worry; you don't have to be awake for those."
She took her hand back and walked out the door, gently closing it behind her. He wanted to call out to her, ask her to not leave his side again, but something stoped him. It's not the fact that his voice was still gone or he was still aching in pain; his pride prevented him from being weak like always, especially in front of her. Thus forcing him to watch her leave, once again.
Friday April 22 4:17 pm
He was pretty much awake by now, his eyes were a little bit blurry, but overall he could see fine. His hearing was back, his senses were coming too, and his hunger was insatiable. Just because he was having food pumped into his stomach didn't mean he was actually getting fed. According to him, if he wasn't chewing and swallowing; he wasn't eating. On top of everything else, he was completely and utterly bored.
It had been a week and he felt like dying all over again, because he was stuck in this one room, on this one bed, watching the same six channels all over again. The nurses briought him books and magazines, but he was done with them by the time it was lunch or dinner. In which case, he already memorized every Shakespeare work ever written. He could recite Hamlet straight from memory without missing a beat. Which he did, three times.
No one was letting him out of bed, unless he needed to use the bathroom, and no one was telling him when he could leave. Sure, his injuries were bad; he had a couple bruises here and there, a scratch on the back of his head and a few broken ribs. Other than that, he would walk, talk, and breathe perfectly on his own. He hated how everyone, even his own family, was making such a big deal out nothing. A memorial service for his friends was on the following week, and he there was no way in hell he was going to miss it. He wasn't finished mourning, but he had to be strong. For himself and for everyone else.
"I see you're awake now."
He didn't even notice the doctor coming in, let alone feel her hand on his head. He almost leaned into the touch, but stopped just in time. Not wanting to send her or himself any mixed messages. She was being professional here, and so should he.
"How long have you been up?"
"Eight hours."
She nodded and started scribbling on her notepad.
"I'm going to run a diagnosis test on you and do some analysis to see how much you're faring at this point." She walked over to the medical cabinet and started taking some instruments out.
"I'm fine."
"For now, but we wouldn't want any sustained damages to prolong in the future now would we?" She smiled and walked over to him, a stethoscope and retinoscope in hand.
"Do I have any internal injuries?"
"Just a few, but nothing life threatening to your organs."
"Then what's the problem?"
She put her arms on her hips and gave him a stern look, "You never change do you?"
He was slightly taken aback by this, "What do you mean?"
"Three years and you're still the same person I left. I thought you might have grown up a little by now." She shook her head and stood in front of him, putting the chest piece above his heart.
His eyes soften just a tinge when he saw how concentrated she was, it was partially true. He never really learned how to be more grateful or sincere. Perhaps that was why she left him, there were many problems to begin with, but he was always the main source.
"Sakura-"
"I'm going to be running some very crucial test on you before I can figure out when we can release you. So if you don't mind, speak on when I ask you're a question. I have to concentrate on pin pointing the internal wounds and write a diagnostic."
She didn't even bother looking up at him, but he nodded and knew she saw.
Wednesday April 27 2:30 pm
"Is that wedding ring?" It was the first question that popped into his head the minute she walked into the room. For the first time, she actually looked at him. With wide eyes too.
It took her a minute to register his question before looking down on her left hand, "N-no, it's an engagement ring."
He simply nodded and looked away.
Suddenly, she was the one feeling slightly guilty. And it made her furious. Who was he to make her feel this way? It's wasn't her fault he was an egotistical ass that had less emotions than a rock. She didn't expect to find someone so soon after leaving him, let alone become engaged after only a year. But none the less, she was happy and become the wife of a very prestigious business man who showed her with love and happiness every day. Her past was behind her, and she moved on, just like he should. Even if hell froze over, there was no way she was going to shed another tear for this unemotional boulder.
She cleared her throat, "You should be released soon. When I feel like your injuries have fully healed; I'll give you your release papers and you can check out in the office."
Once again, he nodded and she felt defeated.
"Get some rest, Hyuga-san."She turned to leave when he spoke.
"Neji."
"Pardon?"
"You used to call me Neji,"
"I did."
"Why did you stop?"
"Because we stopped."
The door closed behind her.
Saturday April 30 6:47 pm
Hyuga Neji wasn't one to be pushy, nor ask questions of other people's private lives, especially his ex's. Who she dated and become engaged to was her personal business only. But when three days passed and she still hadn't come to see him; that was when he started getting bold. He'd ask the hourly nurses that came to see him where she was and what she was doing. Normally, they'd say she was in the emergency operating room or checking up on more dire patients, he didn't care or mind. IT was her job after all and it was completely understandable.
But when one young female intern, who had come to take a liking to Neji, accidentally slipped out information that Sakura was having lunch with her fiancé; he decided enough was enough. He stopped medication and treatment for the next several hours and scared the paramedics half to death when his heart stopped beating for a mere second. He refused to listen to anyone until his doctor came back.
Of course, they waited until dinner to hall her back in.
"Hyuga, what the hell do you think you're doing? Acting like a child will not get you what you want." She had marched straight into his room after a call from one of her loyal assistance and heard about his irrational behavior.
"Actually, it has."
"What?"
"I wanted to see you." He said it to matter-of-factly it almost blew a fuel out of her head. She narrowed her eyes and gritted her teeth.
"Look, we've been through this already, I don't want to get into another argument with you."
"What argument? We haven't spoken to each other in days."
"More like years." She mumbled.
He let out a rough sigh, "The point is…"
"Yes?"
"…we never talked after you left."
"We never talked before I left."
"That's what kills me."
She let out a sigh herself and set the clipboard down on the nightstand and walked over to his side. Even if he was sitting on his bed, he still towered over her short stature. She looked incredibly tiny standing next to him, maybe that was why he felt the need to wrap his arm around her and pull her close to his body. Just like he used to. Even if she didn't need the protection, he felt like he ought to. There was something about her innocent looking face that made her all the more vulnerable. And when she walked out of his life, he couldn't help but feel that way himself.
"Why did you stay with me for that long?"
Her eyes softened and she shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I just liked those little moments we had together. When we could just sit in each other's silence and enjoy the calm."
He didn't miss the way her voice trailed off, like she missed those days. Because he certainly did.
"Why can't we go back to that?"
"Because I'm getting married in three months."
"Oh, right. I forgot."
Tuesday May 4 7 am
Surprisingly, she decided to have breakfast with him that day. He didn't expect her company, but welcomed it none the less. He could never tire of her presence, even after being apart for so long, he loved being near her. She brought him the Asian garden salad, his favorite. It was a surprise she still remembered, he figured she might have forgotten everything the minute she walked out his door. Old memories replaced by new ones. But here she was, smiling and talking to him like there wasn't a three year gap between them. The room was soon filled with his usual stoic voice accompanied by her childish giggles. It had been a while since he last reminisce on their past.
"Do you still keep in contact with Lee and Tenten?"
"Yes."
"That's good, I still talk to Naruto. Hinata and he are expecting their first child right?"
"In the fall."
"How time flies."
They became silent once again. She took another sip of her chamomile and stared into the cup.
"What…did you do, after you…"
"I moved into a new condo, it's not that far from here. It's very nice, small, just how I like it."
"And where did you meet…your current fiancé?"
"Ino introduced us. I wasn't really into him at the time and I'm still not."
He quirked his eyebrow.
"I guess I was just lonely, sad actually. I spent my entire adolescence and up until I turned twenty with you, then it all just suddenly ended. I suppose I needed someone at the time…though I feel incredibly weak for it," She cocked her head to the side, lost in her own thoughts.
He realized right then something he never thought would happen. It made him quite angry that it took him this long to realize what it was and angrier that it had to happen now, of all times. He missed those moments with Sakura too, he missed being there when she was feeling happy or down, he missed those eyes that would look only at him. What a fool he was, stubborn as a mule and uncaring like the winter storm. It was only until after she had disappeared from his world, that he realized how much she meant to him and just how little too late it was for him to do anything about it.
It should have been his ring she was wearing; it should have been him whom she was marrying. Six years, their lives have been intertwined until she decided to cut the strings. He wouldn't ask for a second chance, he didn't deserve it. The only thing he could do at the moment was sit back in the shadows and let her go. Up till this point he couldn't do that. It was with deep regret and searing rage that he knew, with a burning passion, he loved her.
"You don't love him do you?" It was barely audible, but she could still hear it perfectly clear in the stagnant room.
Her eyes brimmed with tears, "No…"
"I'm sorry," He casted away all his pride and ego, just for her.
"I'm sorry too."
"It took me this long to realize everything."
She stood up and grabbed the remains of her breakfast along with his and made for the door when he grabbed her elbow. He spun her around and until their faces were only inches apart. There was so much he wanted to say, so many words bottled up inside, but he couldn't bring himself to spill everything out. He was left a silent mess.
"When is the memorial?" She tried to say with a little quivering as possible.
"Three days."
"I'll get you your release papers."
If my life is transient like a flower
I'll be in full bloom by your side
And after watching your smile
I'll fall alone, quietly
Friday May 7 1:56 pm
He sat alone on the wooden bench facing the ocean. He didn't have the heart to linger at the memorial sight any longer. Right after all the speeches and commemorations were said, he walked away as fast as his legs could walk and found and empty seat. He needed to be by himself, to think his own thoughts without any disruptions. His strength had all but left him the moment he saw their caskets. He thought he could handle, be the strong one for their grieving families, but there was no use in hiding it any longer. It was a heavy burden to carrying, knowing that you along were the only survivor. He didn't know how he could do it alone.
"They plan on cremating the bodies and scattering their ashes out at sea."
This familiar voice almost sounded like a dream. He'll wake up soon in his own bed, his friends will still be alive, and this voice will disappear into the back of his mind. But when he felt the hand place gently onto his shoulder, he knew this was real. The death, the pain, the inescapable torture. Destiny was cruel and felt the need to make him suffer.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll stay with you until it's done."
He wanted to wrap his hand around hers and never let that warmth go.
"What about your fiancé?"
"What about him?"
He smirked and got up, sadly watching her hand return to her body. They looked at each other for a minute, and he could almost swear he saw something in her eyes. But chose to ignore it, concluding that it was his feelings making him think this way. He motioned with his chin for them to return with the others. Perhaps he will be able to make it on his own.
Thursday May 14 5:38 pm
His legs were not fully healed, he knew that for sure. Actually he found out the hard way.
Even thought he could walk, there was still some aching here and there. Not to mention the bad limp he had. His right leg was giving him grief, according to Sakura; it was smashed up against the side of the car and had been stuck there for nearly an hour. It was a miracle they could save it, let alone get him to walk again. So, for the past two weeks and a half, he'd been stuck using a cane. Some of the children in his family resorted to calling him 'Grandpa' instead of big brother. Not only that, but even Lee and Tenten got in on the act. Every chance that got, they'd offer the 'old man' help to walk across the street, chew his food for him, or even take him to the retirement home.
It was embarrassing to say the least when everyone else was mocking him. But the thing that topped everything else was what happened that evening. Tenten and he went to the local bakery to buy her newest boyfriend a birthday cake when he spotted two familiar people down the street.
His pink haired doctor was arm linked with her future husband and laughing like they were two love struck teens. If he remembered correctly, she was the one who told him she wasn't in love with his guy. But there she was, leaning her head against his arm and walking into the pastry shop across the street. Before he even knew what was happening, he was walking to the door rather quickly.
"Hey Neji, where are you going?"
"To get my girl back." He mumbled.
Normally, it would take a whopping four seconds for a regular person to cross the street. In Neji's case, it took a while five minutes. Rows of cars honked at him to move his injured ass faster, but because he was feeling slightly conniving; he purposely slowed his pace until he finally made it to the other side. In which case the green light suddenly turned to red and the cars had to wait another five minutes to go.
He sneaked into the shop without making any noise and searched for his two objectives. They were sitting in a private stall away from the rest of the customers and talking amongst themselves. To say this was bothering him was an understatement, he hated how close the two looked. It was as though they were meant to be together. This wasn't right, it didn't look right at all. He was a stubborn man, might as well put it to good use.
But, just as he started walking over to the pair, like some limp senior citizen, his cane accidentally stuck out; causing a very young waiter to trip over it. Neji followed and stumbled backwards and landed on top of said waiter. As the food he was carrying fell on his head, which happened to be a very hot soup, his cane and slipped from his hand and rolled all the way to Sakura's feet. It lightly tapped her foot and she finally noticed all the commotion. Her eyes lifted up and met white orbs staring right back at her, with a scowl on his face.
"What happened?" Her fiancé asked.
"I'm being followed by a very persistent patient of mine."
"What's he doing here?"
She got up, "Trying to land his sorry ass back into the hospital." And walked over to the mess.
Monday May 18 2:19 pm
He knew Sakura was a very busy woman, so when he opened his door after the bell rang for the third time; he was surprised to see her standing there before him. She wasn't wearing her usual doctor's coat; instead she opted for a purple cardigan, black top, and a jean skirt. In her hand were a small brief case and the other, a piece of paper. Unbeknownst to him, she actually had to ask her superior for a warrant to medically visit him.
"Can I come in?"
He nodded and stepped aside. She walked past him and stood alone in the loft area, examining their old home. It's been three years since she last stepped foot inside their previous living corridors, and it felt oddly strange to see her here again. Not that he didn't mind, it just felt a little out of place. Since it took him forever to clean out her scent, her intoxicating smell that haunted him every night. Now it was going to take him another month to wipe away her aroma. Just standing there, he could smell the shampoo and soap she used just before paying him a visit.
She turned around to face him, her professionalism never wavered, "I decided to check in on you. After your little fiasco at the pastry shop, I wanted to make sure you didn't suffer any more brain damage than you previously had."
Somehow he's grinning when he should feel ashamed and abashed. Instead he feels a little thrilled and adventurous. She scowled at him and shook her head, even after all these years, she still doesn't fully understand him. He was the biggest enigma to have ever stumbled into her life. Not to say she didn't enjoy trying to solve him.
"Let's go over to the living room."
He followed her to the newly decorated living room and they sit on opposite sides of the couch. She took out her retinoscope and orders him to lean in closer until she can practically see past his pupil. His warm breath on her lips sent involuntary shivers down her spine and imagines of them from the past start popping in. The first time they bought this couch, they made out on that very night. The first time they watched an actual horror movie on, she was clutching his arm the entire time.
By now, she isn't even concentrating on looking through the scope. She's was looking into his half lidded eyes, his thin nose, his strong jaw line, his creamy skin. And she knew he was doing the same thing to her. Every little moment she spent with him was driving her insane.
"Sakura."
She always loved how he said her name like that. It made her believe she was the only woman in his world. Her hands suddenly moved their way slowly up his chest and stop at his shoulders. He leaned into the contact and pressed his forehead against hers, his own hands making their way around her waist. Before she could even fathom what her happening she crushed her lips to his. The sudden burst of energy she always got from kissing him was suddenly back, and she was longing for it. But just as soon as it started, it abruptly ended. She sprang up and grabbed her things, looking quite flustered.
"Y-you're fine. I'll be taking my leave now."
When he opens his mouth to say something, she's already gone. The door left wide open for the world to see. She's out of his life, yet again.
Wednesday May 27 8:30 pm
A week went by and he wasn't surprised when he hadn't seen her at all. For the first time he didn't know if he could even look at her. He wasn't not angry, hurt, sad, or even happy. There was just nothing going on inside him. He couldn't feel anything at the moment. All his emotions were washed away for the time being and replaced by emptiness. But in a good way, he didn't want to feel anything right now. Because if he didn't, he might lose his mind.
He was standing at the spot of the fatal car accident. Only two miles away from their destination, six more minutes, and they have all been going on with their lives and he would still be talking to them.
Life was precious, it was a gift handed down to mankind that should be abused. It should be cherished and loved like it was the only thing needed in the world. A single person was only allowed one life, and if that ended, then it was all over. There was no coming back, no matter many tears are shed and people mourn. So when Neji was given a second chance to live again, he was going to appreciate it more than had before the accident. Instead of watching time pass him by, he was going to take it by the collar and walk with it.
That was what it came to this, standing outside her door and knocking rather loudly. He heard feet shuffling and the unlocking of the door before it slightly opened. Green eyes peeked out and widened in surprise. She looked up at him with a curious expression.
"Neji, what are you doing here?"
"I've come to a conclusion Sakura."
She opened the door a little wider, not exactly inviting him in, "How did you find my place?"
"I asked Naruto."
A growl came from her, "That big mouth."
"Listen to me."
It wasn't an order or a command, it was a plea. And it sounded so sincere she almost thought she was dreaming or hallucinating. The Hyuga Neji doesn't plea for attention, let alone ask someone to listen. She wondered if he was just high off his medication and was about to ask him how many pills he took when he spoke again.
"I'm glad I was in that accident."
Okay, he was stoned. But she was too confused and taken aback to even really care.
"Are you abusing your medication?"
"No."
"Then what the hell are you talking about?"
"I do miss my friends, who unfortunately lost their lives because some idiot decided to drink and drive."
"Yeah I already know all that."
"But, I also learned how valuable and fleeting life is."
She stopped talking and finally listened to him.
"If it wasn't for my near death experience, I wouldn't be here now. At your door, talking to you. I wouldn't have had the courage to say I was an imbecile for letting you go, for not chasing after you."
Her mouth opened to say something, but he gently closed it.
"All my life I expected this to just happen, because it was destiny. But now I realized, I can't just sit back and let it all play out. I have to do something, I can write my own destiny."
He closed the gap between them, and was grateful she didn't back away. His tall body towered over hers, like a shadow. He was a man of few words and she was a woman of many. But tonight, he was the only one speaking and he didn't mind at all. He wasn't giving an excuse for his behavior nor was he apologizing, he just wanted her to know that every once in a while, people makes mistakes. His biggest one was not cherishing the only woman he'll ever need in his life.
When she finally spoke, it sounded broken, "I…can't call off the wedding because you've had an epiphany."
He expected those words to come, but not the next ones that followed.
"But…I'll give you this one night, because as a doctor…I also know how delicate and precious life is."
She opened her door and took his hand, leading him into his last and final moments with her.
"Let's make it count."
Sunday July 26 6 am
Ever since his last surgery, he started walking and running properly again. He thanked every person and every higher being for this second chance. Sakura was there during the surgery, she had operated for three hours, fixing torn ligaments, but had to check out after her shift ended. Even though she wasn't at his side anymore, she watched outside the operating room until it was over. When it was done, she was gone.
Two months had gone by and there was no word from her. He should have expected this, there was no point in keeping up hope that she might actually change her mind and go back to him. From what he heard, the wedding had just past and she was a married woman now, to one of the finest men in all of Japan. He was rich and powerful, but also showed her the affection she deserved. The night he last spoke to her, she told him everything was alright, and between kissed; she said 'I love you'
"Going out for your morning run?" Hiashi asked.
"Yes uncle."
"While you're out, can you pick up Hanabi's medication from the pharmacist?"
"At the Little Leaf clinic?"
"No, the Konoha General Hospital, Doctor Haruno personally prescribed it to her."
He stopped moving for a moment before turning back to his uncle and nodded.
Three hours later, he was standing in front of a very flustered looking receptionist asking for a Doctor Haruno. She blushed wildly and told him her office was down the hall on his right, room A56. He muttered a 'Thank You' and started walking. It wasn't long before he was, once again, standing outside her door and knocking at it.
"Who is it?"
"Hyuga Neji."
There was silence and some movement. Maybe she sneaked out back and just wanted him to stand there like an idiot. Before he turned to walk back, the door swung open and a flushed looking Sakura was standing with her chest puffed out and the holding the door handle.
"Hello Neji."
"Morning Sakura."
"What brings you here so early?"
"My uncle asked me if I could pick up Hanabi's medicine."
"Oh! Of course, come right in," He followed her and closed the door behind him, "Just let me label these bottles first and print out the instructions, it'll only take a sec. You can have a seat over here." She indicated to the chair in front of her organized looking desk.
He wanted to say something, to break the awkward silence hanging between them. Though, it wouldn't naturally feel right anymore since she did happen to belong to someone else. That was went he noticed it. No sparkling diamond, no expensive jewelry, nothing. Her left hand was as empty as his body. All the photos sitting on her desk were family and friends only. No husband whatsoever. It was very peculiar, but he tried his best to keep his mouth shut about the subject.
"Tell Hiashi-sama to give her these ones in the morning, these ones in the afternoon, and these ones at night. Oh and make sure she eats and drinks something before taking them."
She handed him three separate bags and several sheets of paper. Her hands dropped back down to her sides.
"I see you're up and yourself again. Jogging this early in the morning."
"It keeps me fit," He stood up and turned for the door before he stopped, "Congratulations."
"On what?"
"Your marriage."
She let out a humorless laugh, "Yeah, my marriage."
"Something wrong?"
Sakura ran a hand through her soft pink hair and sat on her desk, "I didn't marry him. I called it off a couple weeks before the actual day."
"Why?"
"He cheated on me, on more than one occasion. Not that I care, I just used that as an excuse to end the relationship. Even if I did get hitched to him, I'd probably ask for a divorce sooner or later." She it so matter-of-fact it almost stunned him.
But for some reason, he couldn't help but grin. It wasn't something to smile or be joyous about, but it wasn't as if she was depressed about it either. In fact, she almost sounded relieved.
"Sakura,"
"Yes?"
"I've enjoyed these small encounters I've had with you."
She smiled, "Me too."
"Would it be too bold for me to ask if we should extend them a little longer?"
"Well I don't see the problem. Being in that car accident has made you a bit courageous. There's really nothing left for you to lose."
She got up and walked over to him, opening the door, "I'll be seeing you for your next check up."
"I wouldn't miss these moments for the world."
I'll be anything
If it can stop you from being seized with fear
Well just something that's been buzzing around my head, I don't think I could have written another couple for his song. I think it just had to be them.
R & R thanks!
