Chapter 1

As I stare out the open window into the magnificent lawn of my Grandmama's house, I can't help but think of Simon's garden, the luscious White Roses, my favorites, the beautiful Lilies and gorgeous Pansies. This leads me to remember Simon and how I turned him down without a bit of explanation. Did I make the wrong choice? Should I have stayed with him? Everything is so confusing and the confusion will not end until I embark on my journey back to the Castle of Grace, Charm, and Beauty that we call Spence, where I can speak to Kartik once again.

The wind blows gently at my silk curtains and forces my lose strands of hair away from my pale face. I hear a creek followed by a clearing of the throat come from my door and know who will be standing beside me in less than a few seconds…. Grandmama.

"Gemma, sweet-heart, is everything alright? You barely touched your breakfast and you haven't said a word to any of us all day, it is almost eleven o'clock." She asks me as she makes her way to my comfortable chair. I am still staring out the window; I can hear something rattling in a box cupped in her hands.

"I am quite fine thank you." I utter with annoyance ay her just barging into my room. "I just have a lot on my mind, that's all." I half expect her to tell me that I should only be thinking of what I can do for England and the weather, and the other half hoping her to ask whats on my mind.

"Well, I bought you a new necklace to wear. Yours is getting old and dirty, I mean look at it, and it's bent and damaging the look to you beautiful neck." She murmurs bringing the conversation back to her and plopping the small white box onto my lap. "I'm absolutely sure that you will love it!" Trying to get me enthusiastic, which it's not working.

"Umm..., thank you but I am rather fond of my symbol, as you call it. My mother gave it to be and I am not giving it up." I have decided never to take it off; it's the only way of me remembering my mother. All of the memories of my mother have seemed to be slipping away into the darkness that looms the back of my mind.

"Gemma it would make me very happy if you wore the necklace. Please?" She's trying to turn me into a stuck-up young lady that will always remember her place, think only of what I am to do for England, and get me married to rich man, if I love him or not.

"Grandmama, it wouldn't make me happy!" I shout out forgetting my tone and throwing the small white box onto my dresser. I hear her sigh and I know I have hurt her badly. She turns to leave and does a quarter turn back around with a curious face.

"Well than, I have been informed that you have given up on Mr. Middleton, is that correct?" She says changing the subject.

Without turning I manage to say, "Yes I have."

"May I ask why? You two where a perfect match to say the least, Gemma would you like to explain?"

That's right, let's only be concerned when you can't seem to get rid of me, marry me off to that rich husband I've been thinking about, that's all you want.

'I do not love him', is what want to say, but instead I let her hear what she wants,

"I was confused about him, but now I'm second guessing my decision. He let me know that his mother likes me and that he is very fond of me himself. So I'm thinking about giving him another try"

"That's what we want to hear! Its good things turned out, because I have informed Mr. Middleton that you will give him another try. He is planning to call upon you at Spence the first week you go back." With that she kisses me on my head and makes her way out of my room almost bumping into Mrs. Jones, in all her excitement.

The nerve of her trying to take over my life! Calling Simon without talking to me first! How dare sh..., my thoughts are cut short from a knock at my door. Can people not leave me alone!?

"Gemma, my angel?" My Father say, more like a statement than a question.

I smile, "Yes, Father?" I make myself seem to be completely interested in the garden again. I can feel the color in my face begin to leave because of my anger dieing down. He walks in scooting my vanity chair next to me and sits down. He too is making seem that he is interested in the garden.

"I over heard the conversation with your Grandmama... do you really love Simon Middleton?" He asks and I know he is blushing from embarrassment. I am absolutely shocked and do not know what to answer him. So I tell him the truth.

"No Father I am in love with someone else..." Did I just say I was in love with someone else? Is that true? I realize that as I think Kartiks face is floating in my head and I start to smile uncontrollably. I turn to my Father and see that his mouth is open but he does not seem too surprised. "Father have I upset you?"

"No Angel. You haven't, I just didn't know that you were in love with someone else. I'm just wondering what young lad has stolen my daughter's heart. But if you do not want to share that with me I am fine with your decision. But I do have one question, why are you going to give Mr. Middleton anther chance if you do not love him?"

I ponder this for a moment and decide my answer, "Well... I'm not." I stammer out but give him the true answer. I am not going to give him another chance, one was enough. My Father smiles his large satisfied grin and kisses my cheek, stands up, returns my chair to the vanity, and walks to the door. He has improved much since I have come home, maybe he's over his drug obsession, I think to myself. Without turning around he laughs out his response...

"I'm sure you will make the right decision. I can tell that you are truly in love for how you could not stop smiling when you thought about it. That's how your mother acted when she thought about me..." Then he just steps out of the room like nothing happened. Mrs. Jones is half way down the stairs, sweeping, I can hear the rhythmic pattern on the floor followed by the low growl of my Fathers footsteps fading.

I stand for the first time in hours, listening to my knees pop, and begin to pack for it is Friday and I will be leaving for Spence in two days, were I will see Simon Middleton, hopefully one last time.

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Two days pass quickly and my thoughts of what I will say to Simon are running through my head; 'I'm sorry my Grandmother called you but I don't love you' 'I agree we do look perfect together, but I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with this relationship Mr. Middleton, my dearest apologies' We will have to wait and see.

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Grandmother and Father usher Tom and I into the carriage kissing us both good-bye for I should be arriving at Spence in hours, we must be on our way. The carriage begins to move as I wave to my Father and Grandmother. Before we leave the grounds I hear my Father call out...

"Gemma don't forget what I told you. Please." I smile hoping he can see me as the horses begin there journey down the long and winding cobble stone road that I will not see for quite some time.