TEKKEN ISLAND ADVENTURES

Description: This is the sequel to my last fic. The Tekken crew goes on yearly vacation expecting to see a luxurious island resort. Unfortunately things don't turn out they way they thought it would be. Please enjoy utter nonsense as they go through their adventure.

CHAPTER 1

SHOVING OFF

NINA, ANNA, & STEVE'S HOUSE

NINA: I wonder which gun I should bring. (She is looking in her enormous weapon vault) Hmm…The semi-automatic goes with my eyes, but the bazooka brings out my complexion. Maybe I'll go with the machine gun since it goes with all of my outfits.

STEVE: (knocks on Nina's door)

NINA: (shouting from her vault) what do you want?

STEVE: I need to come in.

NINA: Hold on a sec. (She closes her vault and sets up the illusion machine to make it look like an oversized painting of a tank. Then she sets her semi-automatic, bazooka, and machine gun on her bed)

STEVE: What is taking mom so long?

NINA: Come in.

STEVE: Mom, I need to ask you- (he's suddenly taken aback by the guns) what's with the guns?

NINA: You should be used to it by now; they should be like your siblings by now jeez.

STEVE: But why do you need so many? You have more guns than all the armies in the world combined.

NINA: They keep me young.

STEVE: What?

NINA: These guns make me feel like I did 20 years ago?

ANNA: (was eavesdropping but now barges in) Sleep?

NINA: Who told you to come in?

ANNA: No one, but it's my house too.

NINA: Ignore your worthless aunt.

ANNA: Hey!

STEVE: But weren't you in cryo-sleep 20 years ago.

NINA: Yes I was.

STEVE: So how does it make you feel like you did 20 years ago?

NINA: Okay, it makes me feel like I think I would have been 20 years ago.

STEVE: Oh.

NINA: Now what was the reason that you came in here.

STEVE: Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you is it normal for an aunt to spy on her nephew in the shower.

NINA: No that isn't. Who would do such a nasty thing?

ANNA: (starts sneaking out of the room)

STEVE: Anna would.

NINA: Good one.

STEVE: No really, she was spying on me in the shower. She even tried to hide a camera in the toilet to watch me take a whiz.

NINA: Anna, you nasty whore.

ANNA: He's so irresistible.

NINA: That's your nephew.

ANNA: Yeah, but I want his big, fat, juicy,

NINA: Die!

ANNA: (runs like a scared mouse)

THE MISHIMA HOUSE

JUN: (Knocks on the bathroom door) Jin, have you finished packing?

JIN: No.

JUN: You know that we leave early tomorrow right?

JIN: Yes.

JUN: You need to finish packing now.

JIN: Sure.

JUN: How much longer are you going to be in there? I need the bathroom.

JIN: Few more minutes.

JUN: Why are you being so short with me?

JIN: No reason.

KAZUYA: (Walks past) leave the boy alone. You've been babying him too much.

JUN: He needs guidance.

KAZUYA: When I was his age, I climbed my way up a cliff and out of a raging river. The only guidance I had was the North Star and animal shit.

JUN: Well some people want to have normal lives.

KAZUYA: So you're saying that I'm abnormal.

JUN: Why do you have to take so hardly?

KAZUYA: Now you're saying that I'm overreacting.

JUN: What is wrong with you?

KAZUYA: There you go again. If I'm so messed up why don't you find someone else? (Runs off crying like a girl)

JUN: God, he must be on his Meriod (man period).

(5 minutes pass)

JUN: Come on Jin.

JIN: (now frustrated) Why don't you use one of the 15 other bathrooms?

JUN: Because the stuff I need is in there. And watch you're tone.

KAZUYA: (Materializes behind Jun) can't you tell that he's in there rubbing one out.

JIN: (through the door) I hate you dad.

KAZUYA: Don't be mad. All the times I used to spend at home, under trees, in public restrooms, in the locker room, in your mom's room when she didn't know-

JIN and JUN: We get it.

KAZUYA: Well I used to spend a lot of time yanking cords, if you know what I mean.

JIN: Can I turn you in for telling me that. I'm sure there's a law against saying that type of stuff to kids.

KAZUYA: You're 22 years old for crying out loud.

JIN: It's still wrong.

KAZUYA: It's just sex, jeez. You act like you don't sit in your room all day watching porn.

JIN: I don't. I only watch for an hour, two hours max.

JUN: This is disturbing. Just let me know when you're finished. I think I need a drink.

KAZUYA: I'll go with you.

JIN: Finally some peace and quiet.

LATER

JIN: (in his room packing) I hope this trip is a good as it seems to be.

XIAOYU: (Sitting in the window) me too.

JIN: (almost has a heart attack) Where the hell did you come from?

XIAOYU: I've been sitting here for five hours now.

JIN: I know you love me, and I love you too, but you can't stalk me. That's not natural.

XIAOYU: Yes it is. Haven't you seen the special on the discovery channel about ADHD Asian school girls with unreasonable animals as pets?

JIN: No.

XIAOYU: Well you're in luck, because I happen to have a copy.

JIN: Where? You don't have any pockets and your purse is no where in sight.

XIAOYU: Hold on a moment, my dear Jinny Winny. (She pulls a video tape from her glowing bracelet)

JIN: How much stuff can you hide in those wristbands?

XIAOYU: Up to 850 cubic feet of stuff.

JIN: Amazing.

XIAOYU: Where's you're VCR.

JIN: Excuse me?

XIAOYU: You're VCR Mr. Silly pants, where is it?

JIN: It's 2010, no one uses VCRs anymore.

XIAOYU: Yes they do. We have one at our house.

JIN: Why?

XIAOYU: To watch movies duh.

JIN: Did you're grandpa buy it?

XIAOYU: Yeah, about 30 years ago. It was the first one ever made.

JIN: Exciting. (Says sarcastically)

XIAOYU: Luckily I carry a VCR on me.

JIN: What did I get myself into?

GANRYU: (pops out of the ceiling comically accompanied by 40s comedy music) you got your self into quite a tizzy! (Disappears)

JIN: What a weirdo.

XIAOYU: Shh…the movies about to begin.

{JUN AND KAZUYA'S ROOM}

KAZUYA: Do these pants make me look fat.

JUN: For the millionth time, no.

KAZUYA: Be honest honey.

JUN: Kazuya, you're too ripped and muscular to look fat. We can see you're abs, pecs, and creamy hamstrings through every piece of clothing you wear.

KAZUYA: You always no how to make me feel better.

JUN: Well they don't call me angelic, mother Theresa, or the virgin Marry for nothing.

KAZUYA: You're not a virgin.

JUN: Don't you think I know that. How else would we have had our wonderful Jin?

KAZUYA: Speaking of Jin, when is he going to get his own place?

JUN: When he is old enough.

KAZUYA: He should be in college.

JUN: He needs to be here with his mommy and daddy.

KAZUYA: He needs to find his own place.

JUN: He's only 22, and could get into lots of trouble.

KAZUYA: Jun, I hate to say this, but you've turned our son into a bitch.

JUN: Kazuya!

KAZUYA: He needs to experience life. Of course he's going to make mistakes and get into trouble, hell he may possibly get mysteriously thrown off of a mountain, but that's what will help him to make his own way.

JUN: Sure, but I can't let go.

KAZUYA: God, why can't you be like Baek? He made Hwoarang get his own place as soon as he "graduated" high school.

JUN: And look at him. He's a weed smoking, promiscuous thug.

KAZUYA: You said yourself that everything that's natural is good. Is weed not natural?

JUN: Touché. But what can you say about the promiscuity.

KAZUYA: It's better than jacking off in the bathroom all night.

JUN: He won't get AIDS.

KAZUYA: And he won't get you grandkids either. Plus he's sneaking and fucking Xiaoyu anyway.

JUN: No he isn't.

KAZUYA: I caught him last week remember.

JUN: Oh yeah.

KAZUYA: As I said, he needs to get his own place or he can room with Hwoarang.

JUN: Will you stop dick riding Hwoarang.

KAZUYA: First of all, that's your niece who dies that. Second, I'm not dick riding, he just reminds me a little of myself. Third, I'm surprised you just said that.

JUN: It's my time of the month.

KAZUYA: Oh, you too.

AT THE AIRPORT

NINA: Anna why did you have to bring so many bags.

ANNA: I need options.

NINA: How can you're little skanky outfits possibly fill 6 bags off stuff.

ANNA: You think that everything that isn't old ladyish is skanky.

NINA: No, I just don't think you should wear lingerie as an outfit.

ANNA: Well it gets hot on the island.

NINA: So what did you bring the booty shorts and low cut crop tops for?

ANNA: As I said, options.

NINA: I should have killed you when I had the chance, but no I had to remember that deep down I still loved you.

ANNA: That was sweet.

NINA: (punches Anna in the stomach)

MICHELLE: Well it's nice to see you guys up and ready so bright and early.

NINA: Hey Michelle, how are you.

MICHELLE: I'm good and you.

ANNA: In pain.

NINA: Just fine. Where's Julia?

MICHELLE; She's getting her bag from out side.

NINA: See Anna, BAG, not Bags.

MICHELLE: Well we shared on bag, so she only needed to bring one.

ANNA: That's because she wars the same thing all the time.

MICHELLE: No she doesn't, she wears other stuff. Plus, you can't talk; you've been wearing that same dress for twenty years.

ANNA: If you weren't so old and didn't retire, you would see that I updated the dress.

MICHELLE: I saw the dress. It's essentially the same dress, but now it shows your tits.

JULIA: Hey mom- oh my god (looks at Anna's mountain of bags)

MICHELLE: What?

JULIA: (Points in the direction of Anna's bags)

MICHELLE: 6 bags Anna, really. And there all ridiculously huge,

ANNA: I need options for the last freaking time.

JULIA: How do all of your slutty outfits need 6 extra large bags?

NINA: That's what I said.

ANNA: That's it! (Attacks Julia)

MICHELLE: Oh hell no! (Attacks ANNA)

NINA: Well maybe I can conveniently lose one of Anna's bags.

ANNA: I heard you bitch. (Pulls Nina in)

BYSTANDERS: (cat fight)

STEVE: (coming from bathroom) what's all the- (sees the fight) Here they go again, and now they've rubbed off on other people.

SECURITY OFFICER: break it up now.

NINA: (Breaks the security guard's arm.)

GANRYU: My beloved Michelle is being attacked, I'll save her. (Pulls a cape (which is actually a bed sheet) out of his suitcase)

NINA: Did it just get dark in here?

MICHELLE: I think so.

JULIA: Oh my god! Run!

(Julia, Nina, and Michelle run away)

ANNA: Wh- (Ganryu falls on her)

GANRYU: I did it, I've saved my love.

ANNA: I can't move.

GANRYU: I think I'll sit here for a while.

ANNA: I hate my life.

GANRYU: I'm hearing voices. I thought I got rid of those.

ANNA: It smells like sour ass.

GANRYU: It says it wants some sassafras.

ANNA: This must be Ganryu.

GANRYU: And it must be with Ganryu. Hey that's me.

ANNA: Ganryu get your fat ass off of me now!

GANRYU: It wants me to slap its ass.

ANNA: I'll give you to the count of three. If you don't get up, I'll stick this stiletto up your ass.

GANRYU: It says get up so you can still stick it up my ass.

(Ganryu gets up)

ANNA: Finally, some relief.

GANRYU: Where are you, I want to stick it up your ass.

BYSTANDERS: (looks at Ganryu like he's weird)

GANRYU: I hate when this happens.

ANNA: (sees Lee) Hey baby.

LEE: (Frowns) Hi.

ANNA: What's the matter?

LEE: You smell like sour ass.

ANNA: Oh, that. That was because Ganryu was on top of me.

LEE: You did Ganryu. That's nastier than Jinpachi's stomach mouth.

ANNA: No I didn't do that nasty bastard.

LEE; Then why was he on top of you?

ANNA: Nina, Michelle, Julia, and I were fighting, then out of nowhere Ganryu comes falling on top of me.

LEE: Are the other girls okay.

ANNA: Yeah, those bitches left me for dead.

"Aw that's sad." Lee said emphathetically.

"Do you know if there's a place where I can shower."

"Why." Lee Asked.

"Well I can't just walk around smelling like sour ass." Anna replied mater-of-factly.

"I think there is a shower all the way on the other side of the airport."

"Great, thanks." Anna said happily, giving Lee a hug.

Lee frowned again, and tried not to say anything. Unfortunately Anna picked up on his emotion, and huffed. Well its not my fault that she smells like sour ass. Lee thought to himself.

Yoshimitsu and Kunimitsu arrived right after Anna left for the showers.

"Do you think we can get through security with all of this stuff." Yoshimitsu asked his mate.

"Sure, didn't you bring the Manji disappearing powder."

"I forgot." Yoshimitsu dropped his head in shame.

"Some times I wonder why I even married you." Kunimitsu said. "You're more forgetful than Wang, and he's twice your age."

"Thanks for making me feel better."

"Stop acting like a bitch." Kunimitsu snapped.

"At least I'm not a bitch."

Eddy ooed in the back ground.

"Dammit Eddy, why are you in our business?" Kunimitsu yelled.

"Its funny seeing two freaks arguing like Ike and Tina." Eddy sneered.

"I'll kill you Rasta boy." Kunimitsu shouted.

"For the last time I'm Brazilian."

"I don't care." Kunimitsu replied.

"This isn't going to go well." Yoshimitsu said to himself.

"That's okay." Paul said standing behind him. "That's probably how it would have been if I married Nina."

"No, Nina would have killed you." Yoshimitsu replied.

"You're probably right." Paul agreed. "Hey where're the bathrooms? I gotta take a mad shit."

Yoshimitsu, slightly disturbed replied, "I don't know, check the directory."

"The what?" Paul asked, clearly puzzled.

"The directory, you know the thing that tells you where everything is?" Yoshimitsu asked concerned.

"A map? Damn, why didn't you say that? I hate when people always have to use big freaking words." Paul continued to rant while walking to the receptionist's desk.

Yoshimitsu looked after him as if he was a child.

"Hey babe." Paul said loudly.

The receptionist ignored him.

"Oh you're one of those classy bitches." Paul thought out loud. "Excuse me miss?"

"Yes." The receptionist answered.

Paul paused and took in her beauty. She was nicely tanned with long brown hair tied in a loose ponytail. She wore red, plastic framed glasses and had sizeable breasts.

"Will you please stop undressing me with your eyes?" The receptionist asked frustrated.

"Oh yeah." Paul said, still entranced. "Where's the shitter?"

"The restroom is down that hall to the right." She said pointing to the left hall.

"Can you write that down?" Paul asked.

"What."

"I need you to write it down."

"Come on." The receptionist said frustrated. "Are you really that much of a dumbass?"

"Please."

Right when she was about to write the directions down, flight for the Tekken fighters was called.

"Aw shit, I gotta go." Paul said as ran to the gate.

Everyone else waited at the gate for everyone to arrive.

Kunimitsu sat on a chair playing with her dagger. Nina and Anna continued to argue.

"I need some Midol." Kazuya said.

"Me too, Asuka said."

Everyone looked at Kazuya with a disturbed look.

"Aw shut up, you guys act like you don't have your times of the month." Kazuya said defensively.

"Need a tamp?" Christie asked patronizingly.

"Where's your pimp, you stupid ho?"

"Burn!" Hwoarang shouted.

"I'm ready to go." Xiaoyu whined.

"We'll be leaving in a minute." Wang assured his granddaughter.

"What idiot are we waiting for now." Nina asked, holding her pistol tightly.

"We're waiting for Paul." Jun replied, obviously eyeing the conspicuous gun.

"How did you get through with that gun?" Bruce asked.

"I hid it in one of my special spots." Nina replied.

"I want to put something in your special spot." Hwoarang called out.

Nina threw a dagger at him, making sure that it whizzed by his head at a dangerously close range.

"Damn. I was just joking."

Asuka hit Hwoarang with a bamboo rod.

"Come on Asuka. I was just joking."

"What have I told you about joking like that?"

"Asuka, baby, you have to lighten up. I don't say anything when you ogle other men, like Steve or Eddy."

"That's a different story."

"Handle your man Asuka." Jin taunted.

Hwoarang pounced on Jin.

"This is hot." Lee said, rubbing his chest as he watched.

"Stop lusting after my son, you old, tight pants wearing, butt pirate." Jun yelled.

"Who's says I'm lusting after your delicious looking son?"

Jun windmill kicked Lee.

"Well Jun, I guess we've been wearing off on you." Lei quipped.

"I don't play when it comes to my baby."

"I'm getting pissed." Kazuya was seething at this point. "How could that bastard possibly take so long walking less than ten feet."

10 MINUTES PASSED

Ganryu played with his arm fat much to the disgust of the others.

15 MORE MINUTES PASSED

Jin watched porn on his iPhone.

25 MORE MINUTES PASSED

They had missed their flight.

45 MORE MINUTES PASSED

Anna and lee went to the bathroom to have sex.

1 MORE HOUR PASSED

"As soon as I see Paul, I'm going to throttle him."

Finally Paul waltzed into the gate as if no one was waiting for over two and a half hours. Kazuya immediately grabbed Paul's neck.

"Why the hell did it take you so long."

"cough…"

"Answer me!" Kazuya yelled.

"Gurgle…"

"Maybe you should let him go Einstein." Heihachi said frustrated.

"I got lost." Paul said simply.

"You got lost." Kazuya said. "You must be a complete dumb ass if you can get lost going that short of a distance. What are you, 2?"

"Two what?" Paul asked idiotically.

Kazuya punched him in the face. Pual retaliated by punching Kazuya in the gut.

"We can hop on this next plane, it's already here." Jun called out.

"Great, everyone hurry your sorry asses up." Nina yelled as everyone scrambled to get through the gate.

Within ten minutes, everyone boarded the plane.

This chapter is over. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. The next chapter will take place on the airplane and on a really undersized ferry that they take to the island.

NOTE: I changed formats in the middle of the story because I remembered that stories aren't supposed to be in script format for whatever stupid reason. I'm not going to change the first half of the chapter, but from the next chapter on, everything will fully be in story format.