Not Entirely Hopeless

Hi, I decided to do a small humor-based drabble in the Slender-verse to help my creativity flow for these stories. I was on vacation for a week so my mind is well-rested and ready to jump into some writing! Reviews would be appreciated!

Start

The slender man was growing frustrated. His prey was still showing no signs of insanity. He had been stalking a girl named Cyprus Gall for almost three months and there wasn't even a twitch to show for his efforts! He was flustered and frustrated. His tentacles were starting to coil in annoyance. He had to fix this!

The woman had first caught his interest when she had the audacity to walk right into his sacred grounds, find a random watering hole, strip off her clothes and bathe nude in the water. His expression: "oh hell naw bitch, this is ma ground". It had pissed him off so he began stalking her. He left the notes, like usual, in her mailbox to threaten her. It floored him when she read the notes and merely laughed before either shredding them or tossing them in her recycling bin.

Then he tried setting Slender Sickness on her. It didn't seem to affect her at all. She just went about her business as if nothing had happened. No matter how strong he set his driving aura on her she was just not affected. Was human ignorance just this strong?

Or was she simply that good at ignoring him?

Today would be different though, he swore on it! He was going to follow her today. He would get a reaction he could feel it from the tips of his coiling tentacles to the soles of his dress shoes. He would get something alright.

~o~

Cyprus laughed as she strolled carelessly into the forest with her beach bag. She was doing her best to ignore and act like the strange things happening to her lately didn't bother her. But tricking herself into that state of mind was simply tricky no pun intended. In some ways though, it was starting to scare her.

This man or woman was threatening her and she was beginning to feel like she was being stalked. It was very strange but she brushed it off. She was a tough girl and she wasn't about to let a little underachieved loser who needed a confidence boost ruin her life.

So adding an extra splash of swagger in her step she strode confidently towards her watering hole. She was a singer, dreamer, go-getter, optimist, stargazer, artist, writer and nature lover.

In short she was somewhat of a free-spirited hippie.

She made it to her watering hole and sighed in relief. She really needed a day off from the tainted world around her and washing it away in this watery hole in the ground seemed like a great way to do it. That was deep…she'd have to remember to write that down.

~o~

Slender Man chuckled darkly in his mind. His prey was right in front of him; true she was nude but it didn't matter. He'd make her afraid of him if it was the last thing he did!

He crept closer to her then nearly fell over in mutual embarrassment. He was horrified at the sounds the girl was making! From what he could make out it sounded like she was attempting to rap. She was terrible and he soundlessly groaned.

This is serious

Are you delirious?

This is my castle bitch

Come at me now

And I'll tell you how

To live your life

Beat down your strife

How was he supposed to scare and kill her when she was spewing that terrible singing? He was going to blow his cover if she didn't shut up! He buried his face in his hands wondering how this situation could possibly get any worse.

I'm a happy panther

Sitting in the forest

I'm swinging from the branches

Like a happy monkey

Slendy face-palmed and groaned at the girl. It had just gotten ten times worse. He couldn't take much more at that point so when she started to sing 1 Direction his patience snapped.

"God damnit shut the hell up!" Slender bellowed.

"Oh hello there-hey you don't have a face…" she trailed off.

"Your point?" he seethed.

"Just stating the obvious, it's all cool man." She shrugged and then went bug-eyed.

She began to scream and throw things at him. He ducked and shielded himself with his arms. "PERVERT!" She hollered as he was about to go in for the kill.

"Wait, what?!" he yelped, wasn't she scared?

"I'm naked you pervert, turn away!" she squealed.

"You mean you're not scared?" he gaped.

"Why the hell would I be scared? I don't even know who the hell you are!"

"I'm your worst nightmare." He chuckled darkly.

"That's great, good for you! Now turn away!" she whined.

"You're not even the least bit scared?" he asked hopefully.

"God damnit," she covered her breasts and darted into the bushes, "men these days. Women can't get any damn privacy!" she ranted.

"That's poison ivy." Slender gestured to the bushes she was in.

"DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, FUCK YOU PLANET EARTH. FUCK YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN! FUCK IT ALL!" She thundered.

Slender really didn't know how to react. This wasn't going anything like he had planned. The woman emerged in a gray tank top with a light green four-leaved clover, black baggy Capri sweatpants, and gray sneakers.

She walked right up to him and gave him a light smack on the cheek. She pointed right in his face and shouted, "You don't stare at a nude woman while she's swimming. You stupid peeping Tom."

"I am not a peeping tom." Slender protested.

"You were watching me bathe, of course you are." She cried.

"Just shut up! I have never met such a…a…" he could scarcely find a word to cover it all.

"Well whatever, I don't want to talk to you anyway!" she huffed and stalked back towards her house.

"Wait, I haven't killed you yet!" Slender cried.

"WAIT, YOU PUT THOSE THREAT NOTES IN MY MAILBOX!" she screamed.

"Uh, yeah…" Slender trailed off.

"You *smack* broke *punch* my *head-butt* shredder *kick* asshole." She raged.

"GET AWAY YOU INSANE LUNATIC!" Slender actually cried.

He'd deal with the insane woman later. Right now, he'd have to preserve as much dignity as possible. Once he finally got away to the safety of his home he collapsed in his loveseat and threw back his head.

Damn that woman.

Finish

Well that's the first chapter. Sorry if Slendy seems OOC. It's not my first drabble fic but it's a test run. I hope you enjoyed. have to remember to write that world around her and washing it away in this watery hole in the ground seemed like a gr