Mrs. Gardiner,
Oh, my sister, you must brace yourself for I have the most exciting news! Netherfield Park was let some weeks ago to a Mr. Bingley, and he has shown an uncommon and keen interest in Jane! Oh, I knew she could not be so beautiful for nothing. Mr. Bingley, after all, has five thousand a year—five thousand! And such sophisticated sisters with all the latest fashions, why, I daresay there is nothing to prevent a happy union. Although, he does have an unfortunate taste in friends. He came to Netherfield with a good friend, one Mr. Darcy. Oh, what an insufferable man! Mr. Darcy has ten thousand per annum, but Lord if I should like him. Of course, I pay him every civility, but nothing more.
At the Meryton Assembly, Mr. Bingley had danced two times with my darling Jane! Two! But Mr. Darcy, how proud he must be! He danced only with the members of his own party. Not one dance with any of my daughters. And he even insulted Lizzy! You know, sister, that Lizzy has hardly the beauty of Jane or Lydia, yet she is not unpretty. But that Mr. Darcy should call her merely "tolerable," why I ought ban him from Longbourn!
I shall write again when there is news. Oh, I need my salts!
YOURS, ETC.
Mrs. Gardiner,
Oh, it is such a tragic affair that I write you with a heavy heart. Mr. Bingley has off and removed to London! And without a word to dear Jane! I was so certain he would propose during his stay at Netherfield. He seemed quite enamored of her—thoughtless man to leave her alone without so much as a farewell. She has been most pale and withdrawn since Mr. Bingley's party left. Of course, Jane is always handsome, but her beauty begins to wane with each se'night since he left. Now, you simply must invite Jane to visit you in London after Michaelmas. For how else is she to find and capture Mr. Bingley?
And Lizzy! I shall not speak to her any! Sister, she refused Mr. Collins's very eligible—and generous—proposal. She shall not have another, and certainly not from such an honorable personage. Oh, that girl vexes me to no end! No compassion for my poor nerves! And now, that Charlotte Lucas is Mrs. Collins, and shall be Mistress of Longbourn when Mr. Bennet dies! The pair of them shall turn us out before my husband is cool in his grave—they look on Longbourn as quite their own! Oh, cursed Lizzy for angering Mr. Collins so.
I shall write again when there is news. My salts!
YOURS, ETC.
Mrs. Gardiner,
Make haste! You absolutely must travel to Longbourn at once! I have the best news you will ever hear! You shall never guess it. Oh, I shall not keep it from you any longer. Mr. Bingley proposed to Jane-the pin money she shall have! I knew it! I knew he must be madly in love with her-how smart of her to catch such a wealthy husband, and such fashionable sisters to boot! My Jane has never been so handsome than when she sits next to him. What a lovely picture they shall make in their wedding clothes. You must insist on my brother supplying us with the finest fabrics available for her dress.
And Mr. Darcy has proposed to Elizabeth! How clever of the girl to feign disinterest in him-for he is richer than two Bingleys! He is most pleasant and handsome, though I suppose a bit shy. I should have known that Lizzy would have had a plan in place, the cheeky girl! I suppose she should also have fine fabrics-oh, and flowers and what about their wedding? I shall be driven to distraction planning it!
Make haste, for it is to be a double wedding!
YOURS, ETC.
