Author Note:
This was my entry for the Straight Through the Heart contest. I didn't win anything, but now I can post the story and I wanted to share with all my wonderful readers.
Thanks as always to my beloved beta and friend dooba, and to rel8tivity for helping me keep my edward sounding like a guy. I couldn't do this without either of you!
And of course, all yall know, I don't own Twilight.
Enjoy!
Love, the Second Time Around
EPOV 2015
I stared at my computer screen, not really seeing it. My thoughts tumbled around in my head. I couldn't focus on the patient record I was trying to finish. My head ached, and my heart ached. I'd loved being a child psychologist, but after the grief of the last few years, something essential in me seemed to die, and I found it hard to council my patients when I couldn't follow their advice in my own life. I made it through the days, but every night I asked myself if I had the heart for any of it anymore.
There was a hard knock at my office door. Before I could answer, my brother Emmett shoved it open with a bang. Throwing himself into a chair, he flashed me a grin.
"Wallowing, Edward?"
"What do you want?"
"Is that any way to greet your favorite brother?"
"What makes you think you're my favorite brother?"
"Yeah, so? Look, Edward, I came in to see if you wanted to come over tonight. Come and have dinner with Rose and me and the kids. Get yourself out of your apartment and have some fun."
I sighed.
"I'm not sure I know what fun is anymore."
"Hell, you're only forty, not eighty."
Emmett wasn't smiling anymore. He looked at me, the smile replaced with sadness.
"I miss Dad too, you know," he said. "I miss him every day of my life. But he'd never have wanted us to give up and stop living. He'd hate seeing you like this."
I hung my head. My brother was right. Our dad, Carlisle, had died after a long battle with cancer two years before. We'd had our battles, especially when I was in my teens, but once maturity had set in, I'd started to know my dad as never before, loving him more deeply as I grew up, married and became a father of twins. I knew he'd hate to see the way I was letting my life fall apart since his death.
Looking back at my brother, I nodded.
"You're right, Emmett. He'd hate seeing me like this. But you know it isn't just Dad."
"Yeah, that bitch Tanya. You're not still brooding over her, are you? She fucking dumped you a few months after Dad died. There you were grieving like hell, and all along she'd been having an affair! She's not worth brooding over."
I couldn't help a small chuckle. Emmett had a way of knocking me out of my self-pity.
"You're so right. And I don't really miss her, but I do miss the girls."
"Does she hassle you about visitation?"
I shook my head.
"Nope. The girls are seventeen now, so they come and go when they want. I just miss them being there all the time. I can't believe they'll be starting college next year. I really feel old sometimes."
Emmett laughed.
"Forty is not old. Look, Rose had an idea the other night, and I think it's fantastic, just what the doctor ordered."
"Just what the doctor ordered? Is this Rose's psychologist speaking? If so, remind her that I'm a psychologist too, thank you very much."
"Actually, this is the sister-in-law part of her talking."
He hesitated. Rising from his chair, he began to pace.
My brother, who usually didn't think before he spoke, was being cautious. I rarely saw him so serious, except in those first terrible months after Dad died. I crossed my arms over my chest, saying nothing, waiting for him to get to the point.
"Edward, have you ever thought of trying to find Bella again?"
I froze. Bella, my high school sweetheart, the one I'd never forgotten even though we had not seen each other since we were seventeen. Trying to hide my reaction from my all too knowing brother, I looked out the window.
"Bella?" It was all I could manage to get out.
Emmett sat down again.
"Yeah, Bella. I know you never really got over her. I told Rosie about her, and she had the idea of helping you find Bella again."
"How?"
"Well, there's this incredible invention, been around a while now. It's called the internet. Ever heard of it?"
"Ha ha."
"Okay, okay, all sarcasm aside," Emmett said, "There are these web sites to help old high school friends find each other. Rose told me to ask you to come over tonight, and after the kids go to bed, she's gonna help you get set up on some of them. Hell, I bet even good old Forks High might have a web site."
Shrugging, I glanced back at him. He didn't know about that time I'd driven all night to see her, before deciding between Stanford and Washington for college. He didn't know what I'd seen that day or why I'd turned around and driven back.
"I did try to find her Emmett. I Googled her, and I looked on Facebook. I didn't find her."
Exasperated, he glared at me, throwing up his hands.
"And that's it? You're quitting? You've never gotten over her 100 percent. Sure, you loved Tanya in your way, and your girls are the world to ya, but it's always been Bella for you, from the moment you first saw her."
We sat, not speaking for a long time. All he had said was true. There was a part of me that had never gotten over Bella. But was that just the typical first love memories, or was it more? I didn't know. Could I risk trying once more to find her?
"Tell Rose I'll be there," I said.
Emmett grinned and stood up.
"My work here is done."
Striding around my desk, he clasped my shoulder.
"I have a good feeling about this," he said. "Little Bella. She was always the one for you. If we hadn't moved … well, you know. It's gonna work out, Edward. See ya later."
He left the office, flashing a grin and banging the door behind him. I barely noticed.
Bella, Bella, Bella, her name spun around, filling me everywhere. Where was she? What was she doing? Was she married? If she was … but maybe she wasn't. High school memories flooded my mind. Why had I never thought to check our old high school's web site? I reached for the mouse.
As it turned out, Forks High did have a web site. From the pictures, it seemed the old place hadn't changed much in the years since I'd left it, angry and protesting, but going with the family to another state for my dad's job. I found a link to information about past classes and clicked it. Scrolling down the page, I found a link to the class of 1992, Bella's graduating class, what would have been my graduating class if we hadn't moved. Taking a deep breath, I clicked.
And there she was, Bella Swan. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her long brown hair flowed around her shoulders. Her shy smile called to me. Her eyes seemed to hold secrets. They'd always looked that way to me, as if they held the meaning of the universe, if one only knew what to look for. Those eyes had always held my universe in their depths. They told me the things her words couldn't say.
Bella moved to Forks at the beginning of our freshman year. She'd been living with her mom in Arizona, but she'd decided to live with her dad through high school, and both parents had agreed. Her mom moved around a lot, and Bella wanted to stay in one place throughout high school. She also wanted a chance to get to know her father better. I remembered that first day and my first sight of Bella.
Emmett had driven us to school. He was sixteen and had gotten his license over the summer. Our older brother Jasper had started college in California. A bunch of us, those who'd known each other forever in that little town, were hanging around the parking lot, exchanging greetings, catching up, wondering about high school, and frankly, even though we wouldn't admit it out loud, freaking out over being freshman and worrying about how we'd fit in. A few minutes before the bell would ring, a police car pulled up.
"What the hell?" Emmett said. "It's only the first day. Who's in trouble already?"
The passenger door opened, and a girl slid out, turning back to speak to the driver.
"Thanks, Dad," I heard her say. "I'll let you know if I need a ride home."
She turned away, slammed the door and shrugged a back pack over one shoulder. Turning toward the sidewalk, she looked up to see us all gawking. She blushed. That was the moment I lost my heart to Bella Swan, only child of the town's chief of police.
Blushing brighter, she dropped her head and stumbled over the curb. Without a thought, I rushed to catch her.
"Careful there."
I held her shoulders until she caught her balance. Releasing her, I smiled and introduced myself.
"I'm Edward Cullen. And that big guy over there is my brother, Emmett."
"I'm Bella, Bella Swan."
Her voice was soft, low and husky. I liked the sound.
"Welcome to Forks. We'd heard a rumor around town that you were coming. If you need anything, let me know. Do you have your schedule? Do you know where your locker is?"
She shook her head.
"Um, no, not yet. I have to go to the office."
Just then Angela Weber pushed through the group around us.
Hi, Bella, I'm Angela. Would you like me to show you where the office is?"
"Sure. Thanks so much." She turned back to me, smiling. "Thank you, Edward."
Angela led her away, as I stood and watched her go.
Everything changed after that. Shy, quiet Bella Swan drew a circle of friends about her, people who hadn't been friends before, came to know and like each other because of Bella. I'd never paid much attention to Angela. I mean, she was the preacher's kid after all. Emmett, being older, had thought he wouldn't want to hang around the freshmen, but Bella became like a little sister to him, and he watched over her. Mike, Eric and Jessica joined our circle. On that first morning, I waited for the girls to leave the office, and the three of us walked to our first class together.
For the next three years, we were inseparable. Bella helped me in English classes, and I helped her in math. We all watched out for her in gym, because she was clumsy. I didn't care. I thought it was cute.
I asked her on our first date the following summer, a movie night with my mom driving us to and from. Embarrassing that, but I promised that as soon as I got my license we wouldn't have to have parental or sibling drivers. We spent as much time at each other's homes as we did our own. My parents loved her, and the Chief liked and respected me. When Angela began dating Ben Cheney, the four of us often spent time together, and as we all got our licenses, we double dated.
Bella and I were each other's firsts – first kiss, first touches, first explorations of bodies, and first, after junior prom first love making, awkward, fumbling. I came too soon, and she didn't come at all. But it was loving and tender together, and we knew it would only get better with practice. I never ever thought it would all change. I never wanted it to change.
August 1991
My parents called a family meeting one night after dinner. Emmett and Jasper had come home from college for the weekend. We gathered in the living room and waited to hear whatever our parents wanted to say. These family meetings were reserved for major announcements or problems. We three guys exchanged worried looks, until finally Dad cleared his throat and dropped the bombshell that would throw all my plans to the winds.
"Okay boys, your mom and I have some big news. Jasper, Emmett, this doesn't affect you so much, being away at school and all, but I know you won't be happy with this news at first, Edward. I can only assure you that we've thought about this and considered everything."
Emmett, always the first to speak up, burst out.
"What is it? Spit it out, Dad."
I looked over at Mom and for some reason she looked guilty. Glancing at me briefly, she dropped her eyes. Dad continued.
"I've accepted a job as Chief of medicine at a hospital in San Francisco. I start on September 1st. We're moving to California."
"What?"
There was silence following my shocked exclamation.
"I'm sorry, Edward," Dad said after a long pause. "I know you're upset about this. I knew you would be, but this is a great opportunity for me."
"What about me? What about my plans, what about my opportunities? What about Bella?"
I was shouting by the end of my questions. Jumping up, I ran to my father and glared at him.
"How could you do this, Dad? Couldn't you have waited till I got out of school and left for college? Didn't you think it might be nice to discuss this as a family? Fuck!"
"Edward!" Mom's sharp cry cut across my anger. "Watch your mouth. You can be angry, but you don't need to yell and swear at your father."
Crossing my arms over my chest, I continued to glare at my dad.
"Whatever. What the hell am I going to tell Bella? It's my senior year. This is bullshit! You're ruining my life!"
I whirled and strode out of the room, running up the stairs and slamming my bedroom door as hard as I could.
I paced around my room, tugging at my hair, mumbling, angry, raging. I kicked my dresser, then my bed and my desk.
"How can they do this? It's not fair, not fair, not fucking fair!"
I threw myself on my bed, shoving books, papers, and backpack haphazardly to the floor. I wanted to scream; I wanted to cry; I wanted to kick my feet and beat my fists against something. But I was seventeen, far too old for tantrums. What could I do? I thought of all the ways this announcement was going to ruin my life. I was captain of the baseball team this year. I had a chance at being class president, and could possibly be valedictorian. And on top of all that, more important than anything was Bella. How could I tell her? How could I leave her? We'd had so many plans for this year. If things continued to work out, I'd been hoping we'd go to college together, get married down the road and never be apart.
"It's not fucking fair!" I screamed it this time, giving way to my anger and frustration.
Later, my brothers came in. Sitting beside me on the bed, for a while they said nothing. They knew I was devastated, and simply sat, offering silent support.
"How could they do this?" I asked.
Jasper shrugged. Emmett shook his head.
"I don't know." Emmett said. "They didn't say anything to me in advance. I promise you, man, I didn't know."
Jasper nodded.
"Me either. I'm surprised they didn't discuss it with us all first."
"Probably knew Eddie here would throw a fit. Can't imagine why they thought that."
"Shut up, Emmett," Jasper and I replied together.
Emmett grinned. Then reaching out, he patted my shoulder.
"Look, I know this stinks. It's hardest on you Edward, and it doesn't seem fair. But there's one bright spot."
"What's that? Not seeing any brightness here."
"Well, I'll be nearby of course! I'm right there at Stanford. And Jas is just down at UCLA. You won't be alone."
"Yeah, there's that. I guess. Thanks guys."
"No problem." Jasper slapped my back. "Hang in there. When you gonna tell Bella?"
"I'd better go do that now."
I grabbed my keys. As I reached the front door, Mom called out to me, but ignoring her, I ran out to my car and sped toward Bella's house.
The Chief was surprised to see me.
"Please, Chief, can I talk to Bella for a few minutes? I know it's late."
Opening the door wider, he beckoned me in.
"Go on up. Leave the door open."
How many times had Charlie said those words to me?
"How can they do this?" Bella asked, after hearing the news. "This is your last year of high school. How can they uproot you like this? Oh, Edward, what will we do?"
She began to cry, and I pulled her into my arms, holding her as close against me as I could.
"I don't know. I'm so pissed at them right now. It's gonna fuck everything up, all our plans. I'm so sorry. But you and me, we'll be okay. We'll stay in touch. I'll come back. I promise I'll be back. We'll go to college together, and later we'll get married and we'll do all the things we've talked about. This will not be the end for us."
Bella sniffled.
"It's like Romeo and Juliet. They're trying to separate us. But we can't let them."
In spite of myself, I smiled. Bella was crazy about the classics, and Romeo and Juliet was her favorite play. No wonder she associated our situation to theirs.
Brushing her hair from her face, I stared into her eyes.
"No, Bella, it's not gonna be like that. We're not having some tragic love story. We won't let them split us up. It won't be Romeo and Juliet. It's gonna be Edward and Bella, forever."
We left it there, with vows of forever love, believing nothing could come between us. But we were kids, and life doesn't always turn out the way we plan.
Bella and I had tried to stay in touch. Phone calls, letters, the era before everyone owned a cell phone and before the internet. Eventually, the letters from Bella came less often; the phone calls became infrequent. In desperation, one weekend I drove all night back to Washington to see her and make sure everything was okay. But for our love story, nothing was ever okay again.
After graduating high school with honors, I followed Emmett to Stanford and into psychology. I didn't date in my last year of high school, but Emmett dragged me to parties and clubs in college until I finally gave in. I met Tanya, who was beautiful and outgoing and funny. I loved her in many ways and didn't regret asking her to marry me. When the twins were born, it seemed like life couldn't get better. Deep inside though, in a place I tried not to visit, my memories of Bella were always there, pushed to the back of my mind, but always simmering. She was unforgettable.
Summer 2015
My door banged open, dragging me out of my memories. Emmett stood there, grinning.
"Now what?"
"C'mon, little brother, time to go. Jasper and Alice are coming over too. Operation Find Bella begins tonight."
I burst into laughter, the best laughter I'd had since my dad died.
"Okay." I stood. Reaching for my briefcase, and grabbing my keys with the other hand, I followed my brother out of my office. That flicker of hope had grown into a flame. I was more than ready to begin the operation.
"Let's try this one," Rose pointed to a link in the search results on Google. "High School Friends. This could be a good one. Let's see. Okay, we've got to enter your name, high school and graduating class. I know you didn't graduate from there, but the year you would have graduated."
"You know," Alice said, leaning over Rose's shoulder, "you should also look on Facebook and Twitter. Does she have any social media accounts?"
"Good idea." Rose swiveled her chair and looked at me questioning. "Did you ever join Facebook, Edward? It's hard for old friends to find you, if you don't go online."
"Been there, done that. Didn't find her."
Turning back to the computer, Rose clicked a few links, bringing up a list of Forks High class of 1992 grads.
I studied the list, looking for Bella's name, picture, anything.
"She's not there," I said. I couldn't help the crushing disappointment I felt. I'd thought, hoped.
"Wait!" Rose had been about to close the page, but Emmett reached out and stopped her. "Look, there's Angela Weber. Hmmm, I see she married Ben after all. Good for her. And here's a contact link. Why don't you write to her, Edward? I bet if anyone knows where Bella is, it's Angela."
"Here, you sit down and do it right now." Rose stood up, motioning to the chair and smiling.
"Give it a shot," Alice said. "You never know what can happen."
"We'll leave you alone to find the words." Jasper gave me an encouraging look and they all left the room.
I sat for a long time, trying to find the right words. It should have been so easy to ask a simple question. Does she know how to get in touch with Bella Swan? But I felt breathless, nervous as a kid on his first date. What if Angela didn't know where Bella was? What if she did know, but Bella didn't want to be in touch with me? At last I began to write.
"Dear Angela, This is Edward Cullen. Remember me? I hope you're doing well? I see you married Ben Cheney. Congratulations and all. Um, I was wondering, are you still in touch with Bella Swan? I'd really like to find her. Here's my contact info. Please get back to me."
I clicked the send button and sat back. I'd done it. Now I had to wait. I'd never been good at waiting. I closed out of the site and rejoined my family, feeling happier than I had in a very long time.
Two days later, I entered my apartment, exhausted and hungry. One of my patients had an emergency, and I'd been up all night at the hospital. All I wanted was to heat something edible in the microwave and then crash, on the couch, on my bed, wherever I happened to land. As I slipped off my shoes, my cell phone rang.
"Damn! Please, don't let this be another emergency." I tapped the answer button.
"This is Doctor Cullen."
"Doctor Cullen? Wow. This is Angela Weber. Cheney now, you know."
"Angela!" She'd called. She really had. "How are you? How's Ben?"
My exhaustion seemed to disappear.
"I'm great. It's so good to hear from you. I couldn't believe when I saw your name on the message. It's been so long."
"Yeah, almost twenty-five years."
"So, you're a doctor now? You were always saying you were going to be a doctor. I'm so glad. Pediatrics, like your Dad?"
"Actually, child psychology."
My tone was polite, but I was impatient. Couldn't she get to the damn point? What about Bella?
Angela laughed.
"Sorry, Edward, I know you want to hear about Bella. It's just so good to talk to you. But let's get first things first. Yes, I'm still in touch with Bella. She's still in Forks, teaching English at the high school. Can you believe it? Ben and I and our kids live in Seattle, but we see her often."
I sighed with relief.
"She always said she wanted to be a teacher." I paused. "Or an author, or a librarian, or a book store owner."
We laughed. Bella had jumped from one thing to another, never quite sure what she wanted to do after high school.
"Yeah, well, she went with teaching. And she's really good at it. She inspires those bored teenagers, gets them to love literature."
"Is she—is she married?"
I held my breath, waiting for Angela's answer.
"No, she never married. She dated off and on, but she never wanted to marry any of them. I think that part of her—well, I think she was always waiting for you. What about you, Edward, are you married?"
I couldn't remember ever feeling anything like the feeling that spread through me at Angela's words. Bella, my Bella, was not married, not taken. She'd been waiting for me.
"I'm not married, Angela. I was married, but I've been divorced for two years now. I want you to know though, I never forgot Bella."
"I know. I Googled you actually," Angela said. "I was concerned. Happy to hear from you, but if you'd grown up to be a loser or something, I didn't want to tell Bella about it. I also had to call Bella and tell her you were looking for her. She told me to give you her contact info."
"Thank you, oh thank you!"
"No problem. Here it is. She'll be waiting for your call."
"I won't. Thanks for everything."
"Sure. Oh, and Edward, don't screw this up!"
After we hung up I stood for a long time, gazing at the phone number Angela had given me. There it was, ten little numbers that would lead me to Bella, to hearing her voice again, maybe to a future. I felt knots in my stomach, nerves eating me up, my heart raced, scared, excited, eager. What if she hung up on me? What if she was pissed at me? What if Angela was all wrong and Bella really didn't want to hear from me?
This was getting me nowhere. Finally, I picked up my phone again, entering Bella's information into the contacts and dialing her number. I'd never know how she would react if I didn't man up and call.
"Hello?"
It was her. She sounded older, mature, not the soft voice of a high school girl. But I'd have recognized her voice anywhere, low, husky, it was my Bella's voice.
"Bella, this is Edward. Edward Cullen."
A pause. Silence. Had the call dropped? Had she hung up at my greeting?
"Edward. Oh my, it's so good to hear from you. How are you?"
"I'm good. What about you?"
"Me too."
We both paused.
"Angela says you're teaching at our old high school." I finally broke the awkward silence.
"Yes, I am. I never thought I'd end up coming back to Forks, but they had an opening around the time I graduated University of Washington, and I applied and got it. I love it. You're a doctor, of course."
I laughed. I'd never even thought to look at the list of teachers when I'd checked out the Forks High web site.
"Yeah, well, sort of. I'm a child psychologist. Emmett and I have a practice together in San Francisco."
"That's wonderful. I'm so proud of you. And it must be fun working with Emmett. What about Jasper?"
We spoke of our families for a while, small talk. Her mother was still wandering the world, and her dad had died ten years before when he'd responded to an armed robbery and been shot.
Our conversation was awkward and stilted. Not the way it had been back in high school. Back then, it had seemed we'd never run out of things to talk about with each other.
"Can I come and see you?" I asked, blurting out the question in the middle of a discussion about Emmett's family. "Please, Bella, I want to see you."
"Yes."
One simple word, but I felt like I could breathe again. Had I ever really breathed since I left Bella all those years ago?
"Is next weekend okay for me to come?" I asked.
"Definitely. I'd like that. I'd like that very much."
I drew in a deep breath. I had to ask, had to know.
"Um, Angela says you never married. What about—I thought—"
"What did you think?"
"Jacob. I thought you must have married Jacob."
She burst into laughter.
"I don't know what gave you that idea, but no, I never married or was involved with Jacob. I couldn't stand him. Remember?"
I remembered. I was confused. If she'd never been involved with Jacob, then what was it I saw when I drove up there all those years before? Had I gotten it wrong? I hoped we'd get everything cleared up when I saw her again.
I don't know how I got through the following week. It was hard to concentrate on my work, and Emmett couldn't tease me enough. He was almost as ecstatic as I was. Bella and I spoke on the phone every day, but it wasn't enough. I needed to see her, to touch her, to know she was real, and free, and mine. Maybe mine. We closed the office early Friday, and Emmett drove me to the airport.
"Good luck. Bring her back to see us all. Give her a big hug and kiss from me." He flashed a wicked grin. "You know, among all the kisses you'll be giving her for yourself."
The plane ride was long. The drive to Forks in my rental car was long, every second and minute seemed long. Would I ever get there? There was the Welcome to Forks sign. There was the old street, where Bella had lived with her father and apparently still lived now, having inherited the house from her dad. I turned off the car, and I sat for a long time, staring at the house. I was really there, and if I would just get my butt out of the car, I'd be with Bella again. She was there, on the other side of that door.
As I opened the car door, Bella opened the front door. We exchanged a long, long look. She was beautiful. She was older. There were laugh lines around her eyes. Her face had lost the girlish look, but her smile was the same. And her eyes, oh those eyes still held all the secrets of the universe.
I took a step. Bella took a step. Suddenly, we were running. We both reached out our arms. We both had tears in our eyes. When I reached her, I swept her into my arms. Lifting her up, I spun around, gleeful at the feel of her against me again.
"Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella."
"Edward!"
Setting her back on her feet, I gazed at her, hungry for every detail. My body came alive, hungry for more than just gazing. She smiled. I smiled.
Without a thought or plan, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers. She met my kiss, as fiercely as I kissed her. I pulled her closer. We tangled our tongues together. She was holding me as tightly as she could, and I kept pressing her body to mine, desperate to feel every bit of her.
At last we broke away. Panting, we stood in each other's arms. Then she began to laugh.
"Wow, Edward, what a greeting! Come on in."
Taking my hand, she led me into the house and shut the door behind us.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"Coffee if you've got it."
Sure. I'll be right back."
As if we were tethered together, I couldn't resist following her to the old kitchen. It looked different now, walls painted a soft beige with granite counter tops replacing the old scarred Formica. It looked like a kitchen Bella would have. She stood at the counter, measuring coffee beans into a grinder, filling the pot with water, getting mugs from a cupboard. Silently, I watched her work, watching the sway of her hips, the muscles in her arm as she reached above her head for the mugs. I felt mesmerized watching her do those small tasks.
When the coffee was done, she handed me a mug and led the way back to the living room. We sat side by side on the couch. It was the same old couch where we'd spent hours, doing homework, watching movies, making out when her dad wasn't home.
"Bella, I hope it wasn't out of line. You know, to kiss you like that. I just couldn't help myself. I've missed you all these years."
"Did my response make you think I minded?"
I shook my head. Smiling, Bella continued.
"I've missed you all these years too. When Angela called me the other night, she told me that she'd heard from an old boyfriend of mine who wanted to get in touch with me. And do you know what my answer was?"
"No."
I was holding her hand, rubbing my thumb against the soft skin. She'd become more confident, more open, and I liked all the changes. Loved everything.
"Well, I told Angela that I didn't want to hear from any of them. Not unless...unless it was Edward Cullen."
"Bella! Really?"
She took my hand.
"Really. I know we have a lot to talk about. I know you were married but aren't anymore. I know there's over twenty years history to catch up on. But I've never forgotten you, Edward. I've been waiting a long time for you to come back to me. Now that you're here, I don't want to waste any more time. You are really here, aren't you? I'm not dreaming?"
I leaned my head against hers.
"Not dreaming. Not unless I am too. I don't want to waste any more time either. Yes, I was married. My wife left me a year after my dad passed away. She had an affair, but I suppose I was never 100 percent there in our marriage in some ways. I have two daughters, twins. They'll be starting college next year. But I never forgot you."
I hesitated. Should I bring up that horrible trip in my senior year? It might be best to leave it alone, but I'd never settle unless I understood what had happened. How had she turned to him so quickly, just a few months after my family had moved away? Taking her hand and entwining our fingers, I asked the question.
"Bella, didn't you get together with Jacob Black?"
She stared.
"Whatever gave you that idea? You know I couldn't stand him."
"But I saw you with him. I saw you in his arms and saw him kiss you."
"What?"
"It was the winter after we'd moved. I was so lonely one weekend. I left my folks a note, got in my car and drove up to see you. I didn't call or anything, because I wanted to surprise you. I was coming down the street, when I saw it, you and Jacob. He had you pressed against that old truck of yours, and he was kissing you. Not a little peck on the cheek either."
"Oh Edward! Why didn't you come to me then? All this could have been cleared up."
"What do you mean?"
She sighed. Setting her mug on an end table, she turned to me and took both my hands in hers.
"You just had to show up then, didn't you? No wonder you stopped writing. Jake had come over to work on the truck for me. Something was wrong with it. Anyway, when he was done, I thanked him. I was standing by the truck, and he grabbed me, pushed me against it and kissed me. He said something about how he'd been waiting for me to get you out of my system and now you were gone he was going to take his chance. He said he knew I would love him if I just tried. Then he kissed me and forced his tongue in my mouth. I bit it. And when he recoiled, I slapped him. He was angry and shocked. I told him to get the hell out and he never came back."
"Oh, Bella." I couldn't believe what a damn fool I'd been. Jacob had always wanted Bella, and idiot me, I'd believed the scene, believed she was replacing me with him. "I'm so sorry. I should have known better."
'Yeah, you should have. But it's all in the past now. It doesn't matter today."
"No, it doesn't matter now. I know we lost touch, lost so many years, but you were always in my heart and mind. I'd think of you, wonder where you were, that kind of thing. When I accomplished things, graduating from high school, college, med school, starting the practice, I'd think how I wished I could tell you all about it."
Bella snuggled up, laying her head on my chest, sighing a contented sigh.
"This isn't a rebound thing, is it?" she asked.
Tipping up her face, I shook my head.
"No, this is no rebound. My feelings might have been repressed, but they've never gone away. Do you think, Could we—could we start over, Bella?"
"I think we can." Her smile filled her face, brightened her eyes. "Kiss me, Edward."
"As my lady wishes."
We met in another heated kiss. My world was finally right, and I never wanted this moment to end.
After a while, Bella pulled away. Standing up, she reached for my hand.
"Come on, Upstairs. Like I said, I don't want to waste any more time."
I followed her up the stairs, watching the way her body moved. It was a different room, the one that had once been her father's. It was comfortable and welcoming. The walls were a soft cream; the curtains, bedding and accessories in shades of red gold and chocolate. I hardly noticed it all then, as slowly, Bella began to undress. I did the same, wondering what she'd think of my body now. I could have looked at her for hours, just stared. Her body was soft, her curves just right, her breasts exactly how I loved them. She was toned and shapely, and I couldn't get enough.
Turning down the covers, she looked at me.
"Are you coming?"
I joined her in the bed and took her into my arms.
We kissed. I brushed her hair from her face. Carefully, nervous, I stroked her body, running my fingers down her chest, exploring her breasts, following the path of my hands with kisses. She gave me touch for touch, kiss for kiss. I was hard, wanting her so much, more than I had ever wanted anyone. She reached for me, finding me ready for her. She giggled a soft breathless sound and pressed her body closer to mine. I reached between her legs, finding her warm and wet. Circling her clit, I continued to kiss her. I was not the inexperienced boy I'd been our first time, and I wanted her to feel every bit of pleasure I could give her.
"Edward, please."
I rolled on top of her, looking into her eyes.
"Are you sure?" I asked. "Is this what you want? We can wait if you'd rather talk and get to know each other again."
She arched up against me.
"I'm sure. I know we need to talk and make plans for the let that be for tomorrow. Tonight, I want you, all of you. Make love to me, Edward."
Hesitating no longer, I entered her. Gasping, she wrapped her legs around me, and we lay there entwined for a few moments, not moving, getting used to the feel of each other again. At last I began to move. Slowly at first, then building. She met my thrusts eagerly. Our bodies seemed to meld into one body, one heart, one soul. Her moans made my passion grow even stronger. It was different than those hurried times back in high school. She was a woman now. She'd been with other men, and I'd been with other women. We both knew so much more about how to give and take pleasure. This was who we were, adults, grownups, not kids anymore, no longer awkward and fumbling. But still, Edward and Bella, together as it was always meant to be. When she came apart around me, crying out my name, I felt a completeness I'd never felt before. My own climax hit me hard. I gasped out her name, clutching her, never wanting to let her go.
When it was over, Bella burrowed into my arms. I kissed her hair softly.
"I love you, Bella. If you know nothing else, know that I do, that I always have."
"Me too. I love you. Always." She yawned. "Are there good schools in San Francisco?"
"Yes, there are."
"Mmm. That's nice."
She yawned again.
"Shhh, go to sleep now. We can figure everything out tomorrow."
"Tomorrow, yeah. You'll still be here tomorrow. That's so good."
It was a husky whisper, trailing off as she drifted to sleep.
I held her closer. Yes, tomorrow we could figure it all out. For now, this was enough. Kissing her hair one more time, I closed my eyes, ready to fall asleep.
"Tomorrow." I whispered to the night.
Tomorrow finally was something to look forward to. All my hopes and dreams could come true, beginning tomorrow.
As I drifted off, I remembered an old Sinatra song my mom loved. Something about love being better the second time around. Old Frank sure knew what he was talking about, I thought, as I fell asleep, with my Bella safe and close in my arms.
