A/N: Okayyyy. Here's my first-ever fic after years of stalking other peoples'! XD I don't think it'll be huge, and updating may be irregular... Buuut I have high hopes for this!

Essentially, I'll be writing about the AU, crack, and possibly OOC (mis)adventures of the Tsuna fish (sorry... I still 'LOL' about that), drawing random inspiration mostly from fairy tales. Unfortunately, Tsuna will not be a fish in this fic forever (it's a fairly tale, c'mon)

Rating will most likely go up and there's a high chance of yaoi as well |D -nosebleed-
But right now, it's as innocent as can be, with the exception of mild fish-violence ;]

disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn and characters (c) Akira Amano


Tsuna was a fish, a small and inconspicuous organism that drew the attention of few. In his natural habitat -a flourishing wetland set in some remote forest- Tsuna spent his days as a typical carp as he fed on the vegetation that produced precious oxygen for the rest of the fish. Because of this, the others hated him, nicknaming him "No-Good Tsuna" and shunned him in their fishly activities.

Therefore, it came as no surprise to the pond when No-Good Tsuna, fed up with his friendless existence, tried to take his own life. Unfortunately (or perhaps it was fortunate after all), Tsuna lived up to his title of No-Good to the end: of all the possible methods of suicide, he chose to drown himself.

xx

After a valiant struggle to suffocate his gills with water, Tsuna found that he remained very much alive, albeit fatigued from his exertion. As Tsuna had never been especially adept in the mental department (he was, above all, a fish), he became extremely confused as to why he could not die. He considered immortality, yet remembered that his unrelenting terror towards the Hibaranha proved he was as perishable as any. Soon, exhaustion overtook Tsuna and he began to drift to sleep. He was nearly unconscious when hardened steel hit skull...

"OW OW OW!!! Who is it?!" A confused Tsuna snapped into alarmed awareness.

"Your attempts at suicide are disrupting the peace, herbivore."

The dreaded voice came from above and Tsuna tilted his head to see the dreaded landlord glaring down at him, tonfas raised. Tsuna cringed and braced himself for impending doom.

The Hibaranha spoke again, "This sort of unscrupulous behavior cannot be tolerated in Namimori pond. I'll bite you to death."

And then all was black. Sort of.

xx

Tsuna felt as though he was floating through an abyss of nothingness, trapped between a dreamlike state and that of a certain reality. He was unable to discern his whereabouts due to hazy mist that enshrouded even what lay directly before him. However, there was one attribute of the location that Tsuna could confirm: wherever he was, it smelled distinctly of fresh pineapple.

"Kufufu. Hello Tsuna."

Tsuna strained to see through the fog, and as he squinted, he noticed a blue discoloration in the white mist. He then moved in the direction of this irregularity, and was eventually able to distinguish a blue pineapple smirking directly towards him. No, wait a minute.

Surely a pineapple would not be able to smile and speak! Perhaps it would be more rational to explain the approaching figure as a man with blue pineapple-shaped hair...

Tsuna's suspicions were confirmed as the pineapple came into observable view. A man not much older than himself (in fish years) stood before him, dressed all in black and wielding a gleaming trident. Terrified, Tsuna turned to swim away, but was thwarted by cool cement walls that had materialized in place of the dark mist that obscured their surroundings before.

"Kufufu. A hopeless little carp such as yourself can't hope to escape my illusions, Tsuna. But fortunately for you, I am here to save, not kill you... For now. Kufufu." The pineapple-man's smile widened, and Tsuna saw that it had bore more evil than ever before (if that was possible). Cowering, he mustered the courage to speak.

"P-pl-please don't bite me to death!"

"Oh? I don't know where you obtained such a mistaken impression, but no matter. As I stated, I am here to save you, if only by special request of an old acquaintance. Kufufu." The man drew closer to Tsuna, continuing to point the trident towards his forehead.

Tsuna was trembling visibly now, but there was no escape from the man's illusionary room which possessed no doors, so he resigned himself to fate and attempted another question, "Er... what happened? The lasting thing I saw was the Hibarahna, but he doesn't seem to be here anymore... And umm, who are you?"

"Kufufu. So many questions, Tsuna. Ah well, we are unrestrained by schedule, so I'll explain the situation to you. My name is Rokudo Mukuro; I am the currently presiding overlord of the underworld."

"Ehhh?! You're the devil?"

"Kufufu. Such an outdated term... Today, as you may recall, the Hibaranha attacked you for disrupting the discipline of Namimori Pond. I am certain you understand the implications of this encounter, as few can emerge alive from the Hibaranha's aggression." The pineapple-man -no, Rokudo Mukuro seemed to be enjoying his recount immensely, and focused taunting eyes (one red and one blue) on Tsuna's as he continued, "As expected, you were unable to withstand the mauling and succumbed to your injuries shortly after. Kufufu."

"Whaat? I'm... dead?" Tsuna flailed fins rapidly in disbelief.

"Kufufu. How naive. No, Tsuna, you have not died... Yet. Furthermore, I have tried my best to detail the current predicament to you, yet you seem too dense to comprehend. Let us continue our journey now, shall we?" A flicker of excitement flashed through Mukuro's crimson iris as he waved his trident in an intricate ritual. Tsuna gazed in awe; perhaps Mukuro was a magician who used his trident as a wand.

"You are truly naive, Tsuna. I find it impressively obtuse of you to believe I must rely on a weapon's grant of power. Let me tell you, I rely on nobody but myself! Kufufufufu!" Mukuro's laugh began mutating into one of insanity. Tsuna, his fear of the pineapple-man ascending with each passing moment, sought consolation in the furtherest corner of the room. He then covered his eyes with his fins and crouched motionlessly in terror, excepting the worst but praying for Mukuro to disappear. Unfortunately for Tsuna, Mukuro regained composure shortly thereafter, and turned to face him once more. "Kufufu. I must ask something before we continue; I am quite curious. Why are you upset and scared if the cause of your current condition was your own attempt at suicide?"

"Ah..." Tsuna peeked out to see Mukuro towering over him, trident aimed. "Uh... I-I don't know... I really don't! So.. p-please don't bite me to death! Please!"

"Kufufu. I would never resort to such barbaric measures. Well then, I will now deliver you to your destination. I do believe we will meet again, Tsuna. Kufufufu." Mukuro laughed as he dissolved into darkness. The walls that constrained Tsuna vanished along their creator and the enshrouding mist from before returned to inhibit his senses.


Aaand, it's a wrap!

Sorry about ending on such a boring/lame/depressing/pseudo-dramatic note OTL

R&R? I'll give you some of the delicious PINEAPPLE I'm munching on right now!