I still do not remember how on earth this happened. I wrote most of the poem out years ago just to amuse myself, and every year I've considered posting the insanity online so that I can stop thinking about it.
The original text was published anonymously in 1823, and is often attributed to Clement Clarke Moore. I really wish I had someone to blame for this.
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Tower,
Not one Titan was safe from a half-demon's glower.
The stockings had been hung by the TV with care,
But sadly the drywall was no longer there.
The others had carefully crept off to bed
Hoping the roof would remain overhead.
They had just settled down for a long anxious night
When they all heard a sound that gave them a fright.
For up on the roof there arose such a clatter
They ran from their rooms to see what was the matter.
To the common room's window two flew like a flash
While two other Titans made a hundred-foot dash.
The full moon alit on the sea's waves below
But from the roof came a much brighter glow.
They stared in great wonder, with no trace of fear,
And they all saw the sleigh and the eight tiny reindeer.
They leapt up the stairs, no time to pause,
For that portly figure had to be Santa Claus.
Faster than falcons they tore onto the roof
Before it was too late to have any proof.
"Now, Dasher! now Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
We're on top of the roof, we're over the sea
Just thank the good lady and off we will be."
Four Titans watched, shocked into staring,
Surprised that the other was not even glaring.
"But you blew through the window, and right through the wall!
You said that you did not like Christmas at all!"
She might have demurred not to give them an answer
But for the drooling of one reindeer named Prancer.
"It was the only way to get you to sleep.
Some secrets here are not mine to keep."
But the large friendly elf looked not at all miffed
He instead took the chance to give each a gift.
His reindeer all healed, his mid-night rest taken,
He smiled at the four superheroes shaken.
He sprang into the sleigh, twinkle bright in his eye,
Then took up the reins and shot into the sky.
The last words that he heard as he flew out of sight
Were "Mistletoe, Raven!" and a quite firm "Goodnight."
