We're Gonna Need a Bigger Rug
It was midnight and Robin was on his way back to the T-Tower from patrol, no hurry in his walking/swinging/jumping from rooftop to rooftop.
He hadn't taken his R-cycle. No jumping from rooftop to rooftop on one of those. And well, sometimes a Robin's gotta hop and flutter over the skyline to feel like a Robin.
He thankfully didn't try to sing like one, although with the giddy feelings he'd been getting in his stomach for the past few days, it was a question of time before he expelled them in a musical note-vomit.
He shot a hook at the top of some building and hit the roof running.
He was sick with glad. And as he zipped along the skyline he pondered over what he was so glad for.
Fresh from battle with a particularly violent, particularly dumb gang that cornered him a few minutes ago in their quest for money, him grossly outnumbered, his body had suffered zero injuries. Not even a scratch. Maybe he was satisfied from a city so handsomely protected that the worst thing he had to face was a group of gangly kids bearing knives? No overly resourceful psychopaths, no demon daddies...life was good.
Land and roll, sprint and a long, long leap to the next roof. He made it, of course he would.
Perhaps it was the knowledge that his team no longer felt like just that: a team. Hadn't for some time. It was more like a family. Robin's third one. Damn...was he actually thinking himself lucky?
He could make out the growing outline of the T in the distance. Robin upped his speed along the tiles and prepared to hit the ground to walk the island's road.
Maybe it was all of the above.
But maybe...maybe It was only one thing. Because It all felt giddy and glimmering until that face (peaceful stare over stone skin and a button nose) flickered before his mind's eye. Then it was gliding, and that voice rang in his mind's ear (sarcastic and gritty from dragging you through the dirt—or low and raw from its owner's longing to be vulnerable, and not just for herself). It was growing mid-air, doing pirouettes, double twists, the entire Swan Lake routine—
(Firing his birdie-hook for the last time, he landed gracefully on his home's T top. He gave himself a score—was that pathetic? Yeah, you bet— 9/10. Some lights were on). He looked up
—and then it was shot, bleeding and plummeting to the bottom of his belly and out of his body with no bang, no melody, just a swift and silent dart to the neck.
Some five feet away from him, Raven was perched on the tower's ledge, tangled around a standing Beast Boy like a marble vine around a leaf pillar, her arms propped loosely on his shoulders and their faces connected in a gut-wrenching, heart-combusting kiss. Their heads tilted from side to side languidly, as they came together again and again.
Raven pulled away suddenly when she sensed a third body in the vicinity, and in a second she was clutching Garfield's head to her neck, conjuring a haloed black ball of energy in her left hand.
"Rae, wha—!" Exclaimed the green one's high-low-pitched voice.
Richard stood frozen there, heart a-hammer on his final rooftop, all traffic light-y (red, yellow, green) and jaw unhinged, then clenching as his eyes frantically took in her (them). Right arm no longer resting, but tightened protectively around knobby (green) shoulders. Both legs locked around slim (green) hips. Eyes flashing white then flickering in recognition for something outside their (grey-green) oneness.
He watched her deathly hand (which he really should have been more alarmed by) lowering. Her body relaxing and her legs spreading (oh dear), dangling again around that cheerful boy. "Oh. It's just Robin."
And that stung, hot and irrational in his chest.
The green head unlatched itself from her throat with a vulgar pop! (Was he...when she thought they were in danger?!) and turned towards her face, sporting a goofy grin and dazed heart-eyes like she hadn't been prepared to send someone to a Very Weird dimension for stepping onto their property. Curling his head backwards, he said, somewhat sheepishly,
"Hehe. Oh hey, Rob. Apologies, we'll be gone now..."
Raven hopped down from the ledge.
"Yeah, sorry you had to see Beast Boy like this." she condoled in the usual gritty monotone.
"Um, excuse me! We were being disgusting together!"
Richard cringed. This was so weird. So weird it hurt him.
"Speak for yourself, Beastly Boy, I always look fresh."
"Why does your name rhyme with 'really old raisin', then? Think about it."
And the leader lost his teammates again, as they were off to Somewhere He Couldn't Follow, population: two.
He wanted to laugh, or say anything that showed he wasn't affected by this, really, but his throat was burning and his mouth was the Sahara Desert, and the only things he could think of were along the lines of since when? Why him? and, I need, like, a gallon of water. I am not angry.
"You both look hideous together", was what Richard's scumbag brain made him say instead. With a straight face even, the bastard.
The couple stopped their mock-bickering in its tracks and swiveled heads to stare at him blankly. Oh, no. Did he just say what he thought he said? It wasn't really what he thought, or maybe an ugly, (badly) repressed part of him did, but anyway he didn't think he should say what he (almost) thought in such a situation where his (barely there) thoughts would be unbecoming of saying—
Then they erupted in laughter. And although they were so contrasting (his, boisterous, hers, subdued), it still happened at the same time. Freaks, he thought, again with the thoughts, that was just so not like him.
"Hahahahaha wheeze oh man, Rae! Did ya get this?"
"Heheheheh we both got it, BB."
In between hiccupping snickers, "What-wh-wh-what are you Robeeen? Jealous?!"
His heart beat a little faster. Caught.
Raven snorted and spluttered. "I bet he is! We dazzled him too much BB, what will we do?" She pretended to bite her nails and turned dramatically to the camera, that is, Robin.
Richard's mouth wobbled, wanting to join in the nonsense, but he just couldn't bring himself to laugh when everything told him that though he started it, none of it was meant for him. Jealous, Robin? So any amusement that had bubbled up popped at the ceiling of his stomach and his mouth was a straight line again.
She noticed it. She felt it. And it hurt a little.
The changeling was still laughing.
"Mama, you're too funny!"
Raven sobered.
"I told you not to call me that." She said, still looking at Richard.
"Slip of the tongue! But can you call me Papa, like, at least once?"
At this, she whipped her head to the green one.
"Gross. Let's go now, we're making our leader uncomfortable." She opened a portal on the ground. "After you."
"Nah, man, that still freaks me out." Beast Boy said, and he did look a bit spooked. Sitting carefully on the edge of the mystical wormhole, his feet dangling over God-knows-what, he extended a hand to her, with a big impish grin that made her blush. Just a bit. "Let's go together."
At this point, Richard had half a mind to jump in himself. Or kick the other guy over, 300-of-Sparta-style.
Raven, not even rolling her eyes, but gazing at that grass-stain kid with something like wonder, took his hand and sat too. Without another word, they nodded at Richard and slid their butts over the edge, disappearing. Funny, he mused, still looking at the closing portal, how even with all those interactions about Robin, they didn't even try to have a proper conversation with him.
Just when he finished the thought, Raven's head popped back out of the darkness, and she braced herself with an arm on the floor, like one would do at the pool. Richard startled.
"Hey." She greeted, and her purple gaze was piercing him.
"Raven! Uh, hey."
"...Hey. Are you okay?"
Her brows were almost scrunched, her eyes were kind of shimmery, and he thought Stupid, stupid, stupid as he felt a modicum of that warm feeling pour back inside.
"RAEEE, HURRY UP! IT'S DARK AND MY MUSCULAR UPPER BODY IS BURNIIING!" Oh. So BB was still there. Apparently hanging by her hand.
She yelled down "Just a minute, I'm talking to Robin! You can let go if you want, it lands on my bed."
All of Richard's face muscles twitched.
"PINKY PROMISE?"
She did roll her eyes this time. "Yeah, just let go! I'll uh, grab you with my pinky then."
He stared. How did she do that...?
"Ok, on three! One, two, threeAAAAAGHHHHH YOU DIDN't even tryyyy!..."
How did she manage to amuse him so much, when he felt so downtrodden? So inadequate?
The terrified scream faded. They were alone. The boy had never felt so awkward, yet he was also...hopeful. She'd postponed her fun rendezvous to talk to him. To ask if he was okay.
And he would have been truthful, on any matter but this.
"Uh, yeah Rae...ven, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He tried to make his voice not crack.
He thought she would say he looked a bit out of it, and he'd say he was just a little tired, and that would be it.
"You just look a bit heartbroken, is all." You just feel a bit heartbroken, is all.
His eyes widened.
"Huh." Oh, crap.
"Yeah." What ridiculous excuse are you going to give me now?
Watch this. "I-I think I'm just a little t—"
"You're very important to me, Richard."
His heart jumped, even as he had Oh. It's just Robin. stuck on replay in his head.
"...What?" What?
"Just...I hope you know that. Whatever, whoever, made you feel like you weren't important...I just hope you know that."
"Raven..."
She was so uncomplicated, but every word she said struck a chord so deep inside him. She didn't say this whatever, whoever didn't know what they were missing, or that he could do better than them (that would have knocked him out), because Raven knew...you don't have the right to anything when it comes to other people's feelings.
I feel inadequate too...here, have this reminder that I think about you constantly.
"I know as far as consolation goes it's not much, but it will always—"
"Thank you, Raven." He interrupted. "It means..." The world. The whole Universe and whatever's left outside. "...so much to me." Even though It was so ironic, and It gripped his insides and twisted. Even though he was all the traffic colors but all she wanted was green, despite all that. It meant so much.
How did she get to be the one to break his heart and the only one who could possibly glue it back together?
...Oh. Richard didn't have to be a detective to make his next deduction. He had fallen victim to that stupid neurochemical reaction. Love, was it? How messy. He knew this wasn't the last time his heart would get smashed, but could he really just keep sweeping the pieces under the rug?
"Thanks." he said again, and his voice cracked a bit, but he didn't care. His smile felt at odds with the lump in his throat, and with horror he felt his whole face and the back of his eyeballs grow hot behind the mask, but he couldn't keep it from spreading on his face anyway.
He hugged himself unconsciously and looked down, like his body knew he had to keep some things at bay.
Raven had never seen her leader looking so...bashful, and thought it was pretty funny. She blew some air through her nose in lieu of laughter.
"You're cute, Robin." she deadpanned.
His breath hitched and he glanced at her. Her face was propped on her palm, smirking into it when she caught his eye. His skin boiled and something fluttered violently in his stomach.
Yeah...he was far from being over this stupid crush-love-thingy...whatever.
"Yeah, well, shut up." He was, in a probably inefficient and awkward manner, going to try anyway. "So...you and Beast Boy, huh?"
"Indeed..." she conceded, examining her nails.
"..." He had intended to tease her about it, but couldn't think of anything that wouldn't sound bitter. This getting over business, it would have to be at baby steps.
She raised an eyebrow.
"That's it...?" Her tone was almost laughing.
He thought of letting go and making her feel everything, right then and there, leave her to deal with the mess. But he immediately knew he wouldn't. Never in a million years.
Raven was...finally happy. After 16 years of holding back and keeping all her chaos inside of herself, she was at peace, at last. And Beast Boy had helped her achieve that...in a way Richard never would. Because he held back too. Never knocking on her door because he knew she didn't let anyone in. Never making light conversation because he knew she didn't care for it. They had been through literal Hell together, and their minds were bonded exquisitely, but really…they respected each other too much.
He thought the one who understood her privacy and preferences was going to be the one she grew comfortable with, and open up to. But he realized now that that person had to pull her out of her shell sometimes, and show her how fun it was to just be with their friends. How a bad joke could be really good if you were in the right company. How the world, after all they'd seen and fought, still had so much to give.
No, Richard wouldn't touch that.
Raven snapped him out of his reverie.
"Well, see ya, Boy Wonder." Come talk if you want to.
He gave a small smile. Baby step (was it in the right direction?) smile.
"Bye, Rae." I do. I will.
