Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight. The rest is me playing around with her characters! Thanks SM!
AN:I am reposting the first three chapters of this story. Thanks to Lauren for help with the editing. Hopefully the writing will now be a bit more consistant! This is my first fanfic. Let me know what you think. I want lots of reviews!
Prologue:
BPOV
As I wake, I can feel the cold seeping into my bones & muscles. I couldn't stop my teeth from chattering but I pulled the small blanket closer around me while I tried and find some relief from the cold air. I couldn't help but think of all the mistakes I had made this past week. If only I had gone after him and explained, if only I had listened to my friends when they pleaded with me to call him, where would I be now? I was so stupid! What is pride when it comes to the love of your life?
"God damn it" I whispered as I felt the tears begin to fall again.
I knew no one would hear me, if fact I prayed that someone would, then maybe I would be free of the tourtuous thoughts running on a loop through my brain.
I know I won't be able to repair the damage I have done. I am going to die here in this room and he will never know how much I loved him. He won't know that I was faithful and it was really just a stupid misunderstanding, one that I could have fixed if I had just talked to him. But no, my stubbornness will be the cause of his pain for the rest of his life. I just couldn't understand how I ended up in this moment. I thought back to the moment I met him. The energy that I felt when he shook my hand and I gazed into his eyes warmed me even now. I closed my eyes and remembered his face as he laughed at my clumsiness and knew the moment he caressed my cheek that I was never going to love another. I no longer held hope of being saved. If he still cared he might be looking for me but the pain in my gut at the memory of his face that day reminded me that he no longer gave a shit about my safety or me.
I thought of his words.
Flashback:
"Well, isn't this touching? And all this time I thought you were just acting," he said.
"What? No, this isn't what it looks like!" I pleaded as I backed away from James.
I tried to go to him, but he backed away.
"Save it Bella! I thought you were different. But you are no better than her. I should have known better, you are an actress after all" he sneered.
"You don't understand, please let me explain" I begged.
"Bella, don't bother" James said. "If he can't accept our world than he's not worth it."
Edward's eyes widened & then turned cold.
"You're right, I don't accept your world if this is how you treat the people that you claim to care about, but Bella James is mistaken, you're the one who's not worth it. You aren't worth any of it!" he turned as he said this and I reached out and touched his arm.
"Please give me a chance, I lo…" I started.
"Don't" he interrupted. "It's over; you are not my problem anymore."
For one moment I looked into his glassy eyes and saw the pain along with unshed tears. Then it was gone and all that was left was hate. He turned and walked out the door as I sobbed. I began to fall as I heard James say something that sounded like "I'm here" then the world faded to black.
I shook my head to clear out the memory of that painful day. I don't know how long I was lost in my memories, but I knew that if by some small miracle I survived this, I would spend the rest of my life trying to show Edward how much I loved him. I would give it all up if he asked me to. If only I had the chance to tell him the truth. I would do anything just so he would know for one moment how much I loved and needed him, even if after that moment I had to let him go. Just one act so he would forgive me.
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Oh my god there better not be rats in here. As soon as I had that thought I heard the most wonderful sound in the whole universe.
"Bella?" he whispered. "Can you hear me?"
That voice, the one I had just been dreaming about spoke from the other side of the door. It was so faint that for a moment I thought I was beginning to imagine it. Then I heard it again.
"Bella, can you scratch on the door so I know you are ok?"
I got up from the cot only to hear it creak loudly.
"Shhuuussshhh" he hissed. "You have to be really quiet. I am not sure who else is here or where they are, but I don't want to take chances."
I slowly tip-toed to the door and got down on my hands and knees. I scratched on the door three times. Oh god, he's here! Why is he here? I love you. I'm sorry! I waited for some confirmation that he heard my scratching but all I heard was my heart beating so hard. With that thought running through my head, I love you, I'm sorry, I began to worry that he had gone away. I messed up again; I didn't tell him I loved him. Why didn't I tell him? I was about to speak his name to see if he was still there when I heard the sound of the lock turning. I crawled away from the door into the corner by my cot and waited. What if Edward got caught? What if he left? I saw the handle of the door begin to move and my breath caught. Oh God!
I watched the door swing open and I saw the figure that had been haunting me for two days. I ran to the door and threw myself at his chest. My arms circled his neck as I clawed at the back of his shirt trying to pull him as close as possible. His arms circled me and he picked me up walking with me to the center of the room that had been my prison for the last two days.
"Bella," he whispered. "We need to get out of here. Are you okay, can you walk?"
I clung to him tightly with my face buried in his neck. I nodded slowly while I took a moment to inhale his scent. Nothing ever smelled as good as Edward! I knew that right now in this moment before anything else was said or done I had to tell him; the five words that had been playing over and over in my mind since that afternoon.
I pulled away from him and slowly looked up into his eyes. They looked tired. He had bags underneath which indicated he had not been sleeping well. My eyes traveled from his to search out the rest of his handsome face. He had obviously not shaven in a few days if the stubble that lined his strong jaw was any sign. His beautifully messy hair looked as if he had been running his hands through it frequently a sure sign that he was stressed. As my eyes met his again I became aware that while I had been cataloging the changes to him since I last saw him, he had been doing the same.
"Bel…" he started.
I put my finger on his lips to silence his words. I moved my hand to his cheek to caress his jaw and he closed his eyes leaning his face into my palm. Here it goes.
"Edward. I love you, I'm sorry" I said.
His eyes flashed open and he stared straight into my eyes. Please let him see how much I love him! Please God let him forgive me. I waited, not breathing for fear that if I moved an inch the moment would be gone.
"I know" he said. His eyes softened as he leaned toward me, I closed my eyes as his lips met mine. I could feel his breath on my lips and I knew that this moment was enough. I didn't know why he was here. If it was out of duty or if he was just too good of a man not to help find me, but whatever the reason, at this moment he was mine again. There was no spoken forgiveness, but I didn't need it. He was here and it was enough. A breath later and we were distracted by a step at the door. We broke apart quickly as Edward turned and reached for his gun while pushing me behind him.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. And just where do you think you're going?" the figure at the door spoke.
I gasped as I heard a voice I had gotten to know very well the past few weeks.
"You!"
