Fun stuff!


You Know You're a Book Nerd If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

You stay up to read a book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

Just about everything you do revolves around reading. If you're not reading, you're probably on , drawing fan art, etc.

You try to get all of your friends to read your favorite books.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your computer.

You've got a book memorized.

You've read a specific book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

IF YOU ARE A BOOK NERD AND PROUD OF IT, COPY AND PASTE ONTO YOUR PROFILE!


I vow to never pair Hikaru or Kaoru with anyone other than each other. I understand that they are brothers. I understand that it's an act of incest. I understand that they are twins. But in all honesty, I don't care. Love is love no matter who its with. It does not matter if lovers are two different people from two different backgrounds, or the closest bound twins. Love is love, and it knows no limits. This is the Hitachiincest creed. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Lily Truesdale, httydlover12,

Love knows no limits. So why set them? Love is love no matter who it's with. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Lily Truesdale, httydfreakforever


Forgive your enemies... Nothing annoys them so much!


I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, please keep me here.


If "Plan A" didn't work, the alphabet has twenty-five more letters so stay cool. Once you get to "Plan Z" and it's still not working, then you can panic.


Best friends are aware of how stupid you are, but still choose to be seen in public with you.


Most learn by observation. Some learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually touch the fire to see if it's hot.


I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?


We're not retreating! We're advancing in another direction!


Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.


STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.


Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.


Handyman's law: cut to fit, beat into place.


He who talks by the yard and thinks by the inch deserves to be kicked by the foot.


Work now, make others work later.


Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.


Speaking in front of a crowd is the number one fear for an average person. Number two is death. That means if you have to be at a funeral, you'd rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.


Men think one of three things at any given time: I want a sandwich, I want a woman, or I want a woman who can make me a sandwich.


Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.


God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Women inherit the Earth!


There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's just weird when you lose.


Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.


Its always in the last place you look... Of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after you found it?


Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.


You never grow up... You just learn how to behave in public.


"Hello and welcome to Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press one repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press two for you. If you have multiple personalities, press three, four, five, six, and seven. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want so please stay on the line and we will trace your call. If you are delusional press, eight and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and the small voice will tell you what number to press. If you are dyslexic, please press six and nine. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter what button you press because no one will answer. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self esteem hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you. Thank you for calling."


REMEMBER WHEN

REMEMBER WHEN
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
MOM was your hero
and DAD was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when WAR was a card game
and life was SIMPLE and CAREFREE?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still Five Inside... No Matter How Old You Are Now


Make A Sentence:
Pick the month you were born on... (bold what ya are!)

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) -I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - I hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the day (number) you were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the kool-aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a Mexican
25 - a teletubby
26 - a condom
27 - a gangsta
28 - Paris Hilton
29 - Barney the Dinosaur
30 - my ex boyfriend
31 -my lover

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...

White - because I'm sexy like that
Black - because I love weed
Pink - because I smoke crack
Turquoise- because I'm good in bed
brown- because I like to snort cocaine
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Grey - because I have AMAZING boobs
Other - because I'm retarded
Green -because that bum stole my taco
Orange - because I still love him
Red- because the gummy bears made me
blue - because I like shoelaces
Tye dye- because I'm a fucking scuba diver
graphic- because I am crazy like that
none- because I have a killer six pack!


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you


Illiterate? Write For Help
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
If they don't have chocolate in heaven.. I ain't going!
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the Kitchen.
Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.
Do not start with me.. you will NOT win!
You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up!
All stressed out and no one to choke.
Don't upset me! I'm running out places to hide the bodies!
I have PMS and a handgun, any questions?
God must love stupid people...he made so many!
Judge me all you want. Just keep the verdict to yourself!
In theory, everything works.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I just love nonverbal communication!
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
Who died and made YOU Darth Vader?
Mirrors can't talk. And lucky for you they don't laugh.
DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure you have enough to spare!
"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."
"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"
"A good essay is 10 inspiration, 15 perspiration, and 75 desperation"
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"!
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
Thank-you for visiting reality, come again... Now entering your life, welcome
"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her butt."
Every morning is the dawn of a new error
Access denied-nah nah na nah nah!
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!

If I had no sense of humor then I would have commited suicide long ago - MahatmaGhandi

Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with
experience

If ignorance is bliss then you must be orgasmic

Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?

Do good S&M fans go to hell?

If you choke a Smurf what color does it turn?

Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day,
nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

There's a reason why Claymores say 'This side towards enemy'

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill
them

Some people say 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I say 'If you can't beat
them, beat them', because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will
have the element of surprise

If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun

Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

There are few problems that can't be solved with high explosives

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a
discharge for loving one

If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid

Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead, try to ask a
question or two

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. -Jetflash


Most, but Others

Most girls like pink

Most girls where eyeshadow and make-up

Most girls yell at rain

Most girls love guys who don't love them

Most girls be what other people want them to be

Most girls love to be hated, and hate to be loved

Most girls are selfish

Most girls are fake But. . .

Other girls like red

Other girls where nothing but their dirty clothes from yesterday

Other girls play in the rain

Other girls kick a guy when they don't love them

Other girls be themselves

Other girls laugh at being hated, and love to be loved

Other girls care for others before themselves

Other girls are real

Most girls think this is stupid and hate it, Other girls will love this and post it immediately.


CHEESE! If you are random and proud of it, copy this into your profile.


If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, . .window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Homicidal Whispers, naruhina-fanboy-devlin, Spartan Ninja, Hao-The-Angel-Of-Darkness, Phoenixtear101, httydfreakforever


If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile


If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile


If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile


If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile


if this site is an addiction and your parents don't know add this to your profile


if you threaten inanimate objects put this on your profile


If you have a wild imagination and it seems like no one appreciates it or has any imagination worth squat, add this to your profile.


If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, add this to your profile.


If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this in your profile.


If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile


If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you have a small but dedicated circle of friends, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you like animals, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh the irony...


At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MUAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiny! :-P


if you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.


If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!


If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile


If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.


If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.


If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this to your profile.


If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.


If you say RAWR! and you are a dinosaur, copy and paste this to your profile


If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!


If you've ever wished that dragons exist in our time, copy and paste this into your profile. (That would be so cool!)


If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile copy and paste this into your profile. (Well we're writers. It's an occupational hazard.)


If you can't wait for the HTTYD sequels, then copy and paste this on your profile.


If you think that Toothless is the awesomest dragon character in HTTYD, copy paste this on your profile. (Yes! And the Cutest!)


If you're hopelessly addicted to chocolate, paste this into your profile. (I can't help it! They're so good!)


If you think Toothless is cute as a cat. Copy and paste this onto your profile.


If you realize that by joining this site, you are a part of something special, paste this into your profile.


If you feel alone in the world and think no one understands you, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile. (We so are! Am I right girls?)


If you think that child abuse is wrong and should be stopped completely, copy and past this into your profile. (I hate child abuse! IT SO CRUEL!)


If you have ever thought of something funny and started laughing aloud copy and paste this into your profile. (I do that loads of times.)


If you've ever wished you could go into a book, and join the fun in the adventure copy and paste this into your profile. (So do!)


93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmememories, Vampire Apple, Queen S of Randomness 016, Spirit Elma, HikariTenshiYamiTenshi, Funny Stuff, YaoiLover1995, Maui Girl 808, HTTYD229, Saphirabrightscale, httydfreakforever


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this.


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top.


I'M THE TYPE OF GIRL
WHO WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING IN DEAD
SILENCE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT
HAPPENED YESTERDAY.


Things to think about!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?


In the How to Train Your Dragon book series, the Green Death is Green and the Purple Death is Purple. So in the movie, why is the Red Death Blue?! (Maybe for it's red horns?)


58 Ways to get Kicked out of Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right darn it!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again!"

49. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

50. Leave a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

51. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

52. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

53. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

54. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

55. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

56. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

58. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"


Things you shouldn't say to cops.

1. "Sorry about knocking up your wife."

2. "Oh, hey officer. Why'd ya wake me up? What? I've been asleep this whole time, I don't remember running over any crossing guards."

3. "How about I buy you a dozen donuts and you let me off the hook?"

4. "Is that a pistol in your holster or are you coming on to me?"

5. "Hey Ociffer! Whaddaya been upwards to, huh?"

6. "Oh, sure! You arrest me for drunk driving. But, when some other cop does it, you go get donuts!"

7. "You're a member of the force, right? So... where's the lightsaber?"

8. "I know that you'd much rather be drinking coffee right now, so, what's stopping you?"

9. "I'm just a student driver... Honest."

10. "So... About the whole 'You'll never take me alive' thing... That was just a joke..."

11. "Yeah, I'd like a large fries, A whopper, One milkshake... wait, no, make that two milkshakes, and a stack of flapjacks."

12. "So, I was going 120 in a school zone? Then you must have been going 125 to catch me. Good job officer... Good job."

13. "Bad boys, bad boys... whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

14. "What do you mean 'stealing from the evidence locker is illegal'? You do it all the time!"

15. "Hell yeah! a 500 ticket! I finally broke my record!"

16. "Here, hold my beer while I get out my driver's license."

17. "Whatever you do, don't look in the trunk."


Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Torte's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras


HATERS=

H-having
A-anger
T-towards
E-everyone
R-reaching
S-success

Don't be a hater!


OTHER RANDOM STUFF!

WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Pretend to have amnesia.
3. Say everything backwards.
4. Run into walls.
5. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
6. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
7. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
8. Say all of the words in a film.
9. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"
10. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"
11. Talk to a pen.
12. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
13. Try and climb the wall.
14. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"
15. Eat your hair.
16. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"
17. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"
18. Pretend to be a phone.
19. Try to swim in the floor.
20. Tap on their door all night.


10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask for directions to a place you're already at.
2. Order pizza from McDonald's.
3. Get hit by a parked car.
4. Try to watch Saturday cartoons on Thursday.
5. Try to sell your money.
6. Try (and fail) to play the alphabet on the piano.
7. Eat all-you-can-eat at a store.
8. Get into a fight with yourself, and lose.
9. Try to go swimming without getting wet.
10. Ask for diet water at a restaraunt.


The 10 Commandments of a Teenager!

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention it's cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection.)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect, and why the h-e-double hockey sticks would you let yourself get arrested?!)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money.)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off.)
8) Thou shall not kiss boys in school.
(Kiss them outside instead.)
9) Thou shall not worry about tests.
(Just cheat on them: better marks.)
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave em in the middle)


To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. . . .

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you're woken up, shout, "AMEN! Or PAYING ATTENTION!"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone's gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For marijuana."
7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." Or, "in the garden with a meat cleaver."
8. Skip down the hall instead of walking and see how many looks you get.
9. Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is to go.
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work are and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
14. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE LOOSE!"
16. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're gonna have to let one of you go."


Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug!" then enforce it.


HOW CRAZEE?

Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't Spanish and you just do that to annoy him.

Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o, but you forgot your spoon, so you try to drink it through a straw.

Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music.

Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes.

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser.

Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.

Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!".

Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence.

Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it.

Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist.

Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments.

Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day.

Crazy is when your crazy.

Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym.

Crazy is when you convince your friends you're high, because you can't stop laughing when nothing's funny.

Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them.

Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles.

Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move.

Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world.

Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane.

Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty".


Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh . . ." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino . . .)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.


TRY THIS!:

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the third word of each line. I bet you you'll smile


Ah, marriage:

Before marriage:

Boy: At last, I can hardly wait!
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: No, don't even think about it!
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course, always!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: No, why are you asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get.
Girl: Will you slap me?
Boy: Heck no, are you crazy?
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Darling!

After marriage (read it backwards. LMAO!)


Normal people rely on their local weatherperson for a forecast

Httyd fans tell Thor to make a storm

Normal people say omg

Httyd fans say oh my gods

Normal people go to a psychiatrist to tell their problems

Httyd fans don't because they no it takes away their awesomeness

Normal people say quiet or I'll tell on you

Httyd fans say be quiet or my dragon will burn you to a crisp

Normal people think Httyd fans are crazy

Httyd fans know normal people aren't themselves

Normal People when being chased yell someone help me

Httyd fans when being chased call their dragons for help

Normal people look for someplace sunny to go for vacation

Httyd fans try to find Berk

Normal people get nervous or scared during lightning storms

Httyd fans yell night fury get down

Normal people don't have this on their profile

Httyd fans must have this on their profile!


Got this from Ynot7:

Ways to torture Soul Eater characters, cause I'm evil ^.^

Maka
Replace all her hardcover books with softcovers (so the Maka chop is less effective XD)

Soul
Tell him Jazz is out of style

Black Star
Tell God Black Star wants to surpass him.

Tsubaki
Give Black Star sugar pills.

Kid
Keep telling him that there's a spot on his clothes even when there isn't, for several hours.

Patty
Tell her a ghost story that says all the giraffes whose heads she's torn off, will come back for vengeance.

Liz
Mess with her nail polish.

Crona
Ask him his gender.

Ragnarok
Tell him Crona wants to give blood.

Spirit
Tell him Soul got Maka pregnant.

Blair
Introduce her to a dog witch.

Justin
Tell him you're an atheist.

Mifune
Tell him that many fans assume he's a pedo.

Medusa
Walk up to her wearing snakeskin boots.

Sid
Show him any zombie movie aside from Warm Bodies.

Nygus
Unwrap her bandaids.

Mosquito
Tell him he'll never measure up to Sebastian as a butler.

Lord Death
Talk about all the vacation spots he can't go to.

Asura
Poke him in his third eye.

Eruka
Eat frog legs in front of her.

Marie
Have her go through a corn maze.

Little Demon
Tell him to get his horns trimmed.