"Naruto Uzumaki getting married...pinch me! I'm dreaming!" said Ino. Sakura, TenTen and Hinata giggled.

"You girls take care of Hinata, all right?" said Naruto. Hinata giggled and blushed, still unable to believe her marriage to Naruto was only a few days away. "What are you girls going to do, anyways?"

"Oh, you know, boring girl stuff," said Sakura.

"Drink some wine, watch some sappy movies," said TenTen.

"Get lap dances from muscle hunks," said Ino.

"SHHH!" Sakura and TenTen gasped, clasping a hand over Ino's mouth.

"She's kidding," said Sakura. "We're going to eat sushi and talk about our feelings."

"Yeah, we're just going to have a quiet night too," said Naruto. "Drink some beer, play some cards. Typical guy stuff."

"WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted someone driving by in a bright red vehicle. "NARUTO! NARUTO UZUMAKI! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" The vehicle made an abrupt turn and pulled up to the entrance to the Hyuuga compound where the group was gathered. The top folded down, and they saw it was driven by Konohamaru. Gaara was in the passenger seat, looking terrified.

"Konohamaru! You rented a car?" Naruto asked. Cars were a new relatively new invention, made for civilians by civilians. Kakashi was the only ninja they knew that had one.

Konohamaru lifted his sunglasses and grinned. "Hell yeah! Check her out! One of the only cars in Konoha, and she's ours for the night!"

"But, do we need a car? We can get wherever we want quickly enough on our own. Besides, we're not going to be going anywhere," said Naruto.

"What did you mean? What'd you think we were going to do, sit around eating sushi and talking about our feelings?" Konohamaru blew a raspberry. "Boring! Bro, I got us the hook up. We are going to Senju's Palace!"

"Senju's Palace? I thought we were just going to chill out at my apartment," said Naruto.

"Bruh," said Konohamaru. "Your apartment is barely big enough for us. Where are we gonna put all the booze and girls?"

"Girls? What girls?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah, what girls?" asked Hinata.

"Bruuhhhh!" Konohamaru complained. "Okay, fine, no girls, but we've gotta go to Senju's. You're a freaking hero, bro. You deserve a party fit for a king."

"Hmmm," said Naruto. Senju's Palace was a casino Tsunade had started after she retired from being Hokage. It was supposed to be the height of luxury in the Land of Fire. "Okay, we'll go to Senju's. But we've gotta go back to my place and get Sai."

"SAI?!" Konohamaru whined. "Sai's in your wedding party?! Of all the awesome people you know, you pick Sai?! So we have to hang out with Sai all night? Bruhh!"

"Hey, Sai was my teammate on Team Seven when Sasuke left. I've been on a lot of missions with him, and I know he's awkward, but he's really great when you get to know him. Give him a chance, will ya? If I'd picked my party based on first impressions, you wouldn't be here either," Naruto explained.

"What about hundredth impressions?" Sakura muttered. "Alright, you guys have fun...but not too much fun..."

Naruto and Hinata kissed goodbye, and Naruto got in the back seat of Konohamaru's car. Konohamaru slammed on the accelerator and sped towards Naruto's apartment, dodging civilians along the way.

"THANKS FOR COMING TO STAND UP AT MY WEDDING, GAARA!" Naruto yelled to Gaara up front. He had to yell because the whip of the wind in their face, the roar of the motor, and the booming of Konohamaru's music were drowning out all other sounds.

"WHATCHA GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT JUNK, ALL THAT JUNK INSIDE YOUR TRUNK?!" Konohamaru asked the world.

"NO THANKS NECESSARY, NARUTO! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!" Gaara shouted back.

"IMMA GONNA GET GET GET YOU DRUNK, GET YOU LOVE DRUNK OFF MY HUMP!" Konohamaru declared. "You guys know what I'm talking about, right? So, Gaara, you're the Kazekage. I'm sure you are swimming in booty, right?"

"I'm...a very busy man," said Gaara.

"Right! My man!" Konohamaru said, presenting his fist to Gaara. Gaara wasn't sure what to do, but when he closed his fist in response, Konohamaru pounded it. Naruto giggled because Gaara actually wasn't that much older than Konohamaru, but they were light-years apart in terms of experience and maturity. Konohamaru had just turned 21 and realized two very important things that were now consuming his life: a) he liked booze and b) girls found him attractive. Iruka and Kakashi had grown concerned about Konohamaru's recklessness and had asked Naruto to help steer him in the right direction, but Konohamaru was quite stubborn. Still, Naruto knew that Konohamaru would always have his back in a pinch, so he was the clear pick to fill the last spot in Naruto's wedding party, much to Sakura's disapproval.

"So, is it true what they say about Suna girls?" Konohamaru asked Gaara.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," said Gaara.

"Oh, come on, you know!" Konohamaru said. "They don't wear underwear on account of it being so hot in the desert?"

"I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the undergarment traditions of females from my home village," said Gaara.

"They sunbathe topless, right?" asked Konohamaru.

"Not that I've witnessed, no," said Gaara.

"Man," said Konohamaru. "You're no help at all! But you must know this. Isn't it true that Kazekages used to keep harems of women all to themselves?"

"That barbaric practice has long been extinct," said Gaara, growing annoyed.

"Shame," said Konohamaru.

They arrived at Naruto's apartment building. Sai was sitting alone with a bag of chips and an untouched bowl of dip. He was reading The Tales of an Utterly Gutsy Shinobi.

"Naruto!" Sai said happily. "Welcome to your party! And hello, Lord Gaara!" He stood up and bowed. "And hello, Konohamaru. I have very much been looking forward to this night. It will be...what's the word?...fun. Thank you very much for including me in your party of the wedding."

"Alright, load up the beer and the food!" said Konohamaru. "Geez, Sai, you didn't even dent the dip!"

"I prefer plain chips," said Sai.

Konohamaru grabbed one and took a giant blob of dip from the bowl, so much that not all of the dip made it into his mouth. "Well, at leasht you beehn dwinking wodka," Konohamaru said with a full mouth.

"Oh, no," said Sai. "This is water. But I also made a festive party punch."

"With vodka?" asked Konohamaru.

"No," said Sai.

"BRUHHHH...!"

"Thank you so much, Sai," said Naruto. "We're moving the party though. Konohamaru got us a room at Senju's Palace!"

"OHHHHH!" said Sai. "That is a good idea!"

"Yeah?" Konohamaru said. "Alright, my man! SENJU'S PALACE!"

"I am so sorry that I couldn't do more for the party, Naruto," said Gaara.

"It's fine. You live hundreds of miles away," said Naruto.

"I know, but still, as the best man..."

"WHAT?!" interjected Konohamaru. Naruto cringed. "He's the best man?! But you're like my bro, bro!"

"I'm sorry, Konohamaru!" said Naruto. "I thought I told you." Konohamaru looked like a wounded puppy. "You are like a brother to me, Konohamaru, but Gaara and I have been through a lot together. We're tailed beast brothers."

"Ohhh, I see," said Konohamaru. "It's because he's a jinchuuriki. I got it."

"Do not feel bad, Konohamaru," said Sai. "If Sasuke were here, it would be Sasuke."

Konohamaru cracked a smile. "You right, you right. We're all just Sasuke placeholders. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke!"

"Stop, guys," said Naruto. "That's not...necessarily...true."

Gaara raised an eyebrow at him, "Oh, REALLY?!"

"What?! What'd I say?! Ahhh, come on, guys! Why are we even talking about this? This is supposed to be a fun night. Come on, let's go have fun," said Naruto, walking out the door.

Konohamaru stopped the others and whispered, "Alright, pool. How many drinks until he starts crying over Sasuke?"

"Hmmm," said Gaara, "I'll give him two."

"Drinks?" asked Sai. "He doesn't need drinks. Just bring it up enough."

"I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!" shouted Naruto.


"HOL' UP, HOL' UP, HOL' UP WE DEM BOYZ! HOL' UP, WE DEM BOYZ! C'mon, sing with me! HOL' UP HOL' UP HOL' UP, ehhh...nevermind...," Konohamaru said dejectedly as they rolled into Senju's Palace. Tsunade had really outdone herself when she made the place. It was constructed of white marble and had statues of Hashirama and Tobirama on either side of the entrance.

"Wow," said Sai. "So this is where the Senju clan lives?"

"No, Sai," said Naruto. "This is where Tsunade and a bunch of desperate gamblers live."

"It is very nice," said Sai.

Konohamaru handed the keys to the valet, and they headed towards the entrance. Konohamaru slapped on his headband and chunin vest. "Konohamaru, what are you doing? We're not on a mission," said Naruto.

"Speak for yourself," said Konohamaru. "Girls go wild for the ninja uniform."

Naruto ripped the headband off him. "No! I'm not letting you abuse the honor of the Hidden Leaf symbol that way!"

"When the hell did you turn into a buzzkill?" Konohamaru said. "Damn! You used to be fun as shit. Remember sexy jutsu?"

Naruto grinned. "Oh, I'm not above using sexy jutsu."

"My man," said Konohamaru, bumping fists with Naruto.

"Dare I ask what sexy jutsu is?" Gaara said.

"You'll see," Naruto said with a wink.

"Well, well, well," said Konohamaru. "The 'best friend' doesn't know Naruto Uzumaki's signature jutsu."

Gaara rolled his eyes and made no comment, holding the door open for the rest of the party. Konohamaru blew a raspberry at him as he passed.

They procured their room keys and took a stroll through the casino where they saw some familiar faces.

"Kiba! Shino!" Naruto called. The pair was playing slots. They turned around in shock and horror.

"Ahhhh, fuck!" said Kiba. "I didn't know you guys were coming here!"

"Well, gee, nice to see you too, Kiba," said Naruto.

"SHHH!" Shino ordered, clasping his hand over Naruto's mouth. "We're on a mission," he whispered. "Nobody can know we're ninja, or we'll blow our cover."

"Ohhh," said Naruto. "Gotcha. But how would anyone know you're nin-how would anyone know just because we're talking?"

"Uhhh, you're kinda recognizable, dude," said Kiba. Naruto looked around. Plenty of people had already inconspicuously-not-so-inconspicuously gathered around to see whether or not that really was Naruto Uzumaki and the Kazekage.

"Point taken," said Naruto, "but if you finish early, you should join us for a drink."

"Sure," said Kiba. "Have fun!"

"Good luck!' Naruto returned.