AN: Hi all! I decided to give this another try, even though my first one was taken down. However, here's the URL to a petition to put MSTs back on fanfiction.net. http://www.geocities.com/hip_e_ghost/ I ask any fans of MSTs to PLZ sign! To sign, you have to sign the second guestbook. THANX SO MUCH IF YOU SIGN!!!!!!! Oh, and plz review!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I'm not making any money off of this story. The only person doing that is the genius, J.K. Rowling.

Warnings: None, I guess.

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*the Marauders are sitting in James's room, bored out their minds*

James: I'm bored!!!

Sirius: Me too!!!

Remus: What do you want to do?

Peter: I don't know, what do you want to do?

James: I don't know, what do you want to do?

*Then, without warning, a book flies out of the wall and hits Peter in the back of the head*

Peter: Ow! Hey, what's this? *looks mysteriously at the book* Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Relative, Prongs?

James: I dunno, want to read it?

Sirius: Sure, there's nothing else to do.

Peter: Ok, *clears his throat* Chapter 1, The Boy Who Lived.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive,

Remus: Excellent! An address, now we can stalk them!

were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

Sirius: You're very welcome!

James: *smacks Sirius*

They were the last people you'd expect to be involved with anything strange or mysterious,

Peter: They have to be muggles.

because they just didn't hold with that nonsense.

Sirius: Magic isn't nonsense!!

Remus: It is when you're involved Padfoot.

Sirius: *sticks his tongue out at Remus*

Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made

James: Yogurt.

Peter: Diapers.

Remus: Dog food.

Sirius: Drills.

Others: *stare at Sirius*

Sirius: *shrugs* What?

drills.

All except Sirius: *stare even harder at Sirius*

James: Ok, that was freaky!

Peter: Whatever, *continues reading*

He was a big, beefy

Sirius: Yum, beef! I'm hungry!

Remus: *rolls eyes*

man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck,

James: Strange, I thought giraffes lived in Africa.

Peter: *smacks James*

which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors.

Remus: *snorts* Nice neighbor, isn't she?

The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley

Sirius: What kind of name is Dudley?

Peter: I don't know, what kind of name is Sirius?

Sirius: Hey! My parents like astronomy! It's not my fault!

and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere. The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that someone would discover it. James: I don't think I like these people. Remus: Good for you Prongs. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. James: Oh, well that's nice. What's so bad about me? Sirius: Uh... James: Don't answer that! Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, Peter: Thanks for clarifying. Remus: Ooh, Wormtail learned a new word! Peter: Oh, shut up Moony! but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish Sirius: Weird, I've never heard that word before! James: Uh, maybe that's because it doesn't exist! Sirius: Oh... James: *rolls eyes* as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son too, but they had never seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away - they didn't want Dudley mixing with a boy like that.

Peter: A boy like what?

Remus: If this kid's anything like James, I'd have to agree with them!

James: Hey! *slaps Remus*

When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts,

Sirius: Tuesday? Why not Friday? Or Saturday?

Peter: Oh shut up Padfoot!

Sirius: Ok.

there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country.

James: *sighs* Ok, what did we do this time?

Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work

Remus: Is it just me or is this guy really weird?

Peter: *sarcastically* It's just you Moony.

and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his highchair.

Sirius: Stupid git!

None of them noticed a large tawny owl flutter past the window.

James: *imitating an owl* Whoot... whoo...

Remus: Uh Prongs? What are you doing?

Sirius: *rolls eyes* Ignore him! *slaps James*

James: Ouch! Hey! *massages his cheek*

At half-past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.

Sirius: And again, stupid git!

"Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley

Peter: Okay, these people have issues.

Remus: No, ya think?

as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.

James: What's a car?

Peter: Muggle transportation.

James: Oh.

It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar-a cat reading a map.

Sirius: Huh, wonder if it's McGonagall.

Remus: One thing wrong with that theory Padfoot. This is a fiction book and McGonagall, sadly, is a real person.

James: It could be from the future.

Peter: Wait, cats don't read maps!

Sirius: Try telling that to McGonagall.

Peter: No thanks, she's too touchy about that. She'd probably give me a month's detention and take 100 points from Gryffindor for even suggesting it.

James: Wouldn't put it past her.

Remus: Can we get back to the story?

For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen-then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in the mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive-no, *looking* at the sign; cats couldn't read maps *or* signs.

Sirius: He's really mental, cats can read both maps and signs! Well, at least animagi cats can. Wait a minute, why am I talking about cats? I HATE cats! *starts growling*

James: Ok, then. Continue reading Wormtail.

Peter: Thank you Prongs!

Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.

Remus: I never thought I'd say this but you're right Padfoot.

Sirius: I am?

Remus: Yeah. This guy IS mental!

But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes-the getups you saw on young people!

James: Why thank you!

Peter: Uh, Prongs? I don't think he meant it as a compliment.

James: Oh.

He supposed this was some stupid new fashion.

Sirius: Ok buddy! Let's get 1... uh... 2 things straight! First cloaks are not stupid! And second, it's not new! Wizards have been dressing in cloaks for centuries!

Remus: Ok Padfoot, calm down! You've made your point, even if he can't hear you.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel

Sirius: Rat a tat tat tat! *picks up his and James's wand and starts banging on Peter's head as if he were drumming*

Peter: Hey! You turned my hair purple!

Sirius: Oops... Cool! Finite Incantatem!

*Peter's hair turns back to its original color*

and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by.

Sirius: Hey! We're not weirdos!

Remus: No, but you are!

Sirius: Hey!! *smacks Remus*

James: Shut up Padfoot so we can get on with the story!

Sirius: Yes, mum!

They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him!

Peter: *imitating Mr. Dursley* Oh... the nerve of him!!! *pretends to faint on James's bed*

Others: *burst out laughing*

But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt- these people were obviously collecting for something. James: *sighs* Will this guy EVER learn?

Remus: Nope, he's a muggle!

yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills. Peter: He must REALLY like drills! James: *snorts* You can say that again! Peter: He must REALLY like... Sirius: *smacks Peter* Peter: What? He said to say it again! James: But I didn't mean it! Peter: Then why did you say it? James: *thinks hard* I don't know. Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. Remus: Sure, wanna bet? *He* didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, thought people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Sirius: What's so strange about seeing a flock of owls? James: *annoyed* They're muggles! Get it through your thick skull! Sirius: Oh yeah! Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. Peter: Having an owl-free morning is normal? Sirius: To a muggle it is. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. Sirius: I wonder what would happen if he ran out of people to shout at. Remus: I don't want to know. He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he Peter: got struck by lightning and died. James: saw a grim. Others: *stare at James* Sirius: Prongs, I think you've been spending WAY too much time with Trelawney. Remus/Peter: I agree. thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to by himself a bun from the bakery. He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This lot were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying. Sirius: Eavesdropping is bad. James: Then how come you do it all the time? Sirius: Uh... um... James: That's what I thought. "The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard-" "-yes, their son, Harry -" James: Weird, I always liked the name Harry. Remus: Maybe this kid is your son then. James: *shrugs* It's possible uh... somehow... Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Peter: Because he was struck by lightning. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it. He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone and had almost finished dialing his home phone number before he thought better of it. Remus: Ok, this guy's EXTREMELY mental! He put the receiver back down and stroked his moustache, thinking... Sirius: It's possible for a Dursley to think? I didn't see that one coming! no, he was being stupid. James: Well that's obvious! Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold. Remus: Er... All those names can be shortened to Harry. Sirius: They can? There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley, she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her - if he'd had a sister like that... but all the same, those people in cloaks... He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon James: I siriusly doubt that. Sirius: Oh, shut up! and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone outside the door. Peter: I wonder if he's blind. "Sorry," he grunted as the tiny old man.stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. Sirius: That's not fair! Remus: What isn't fair? Sirius: That we're not in here too! I mean Flitwick and McGonagall are in here, but where are we? Peter: I don't know. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. James: Ok... On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passers-by stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!" Sirius: *starts jumping up and down on James's bed* Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Others: *stare at Sirius for a long time* And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley round the middle and walked off. Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. James: A muggle is a muggle is a muggle. Peter: What? James: I don't know. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination. Sirius: I do, and look at me! Remus: I no longer approve of imagination. Sirius: Hey! As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw - and it didn't improve his mood James: Was Sirius in a pink tutu. All except Sirius: *laugh until they cry* Sirius: What? Hey! *slaps James* -was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings round its eyes. James: If it isn't McGonagall I'll be very shocked. "Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly. Remus: Well, a lot of help that got you. Was this normal cat behavior, Mr. Dursley wondered. Peter: No, but it's very typical of McGonagall when she finds out we're the ones who put the dungbomb in the Slytherin common room. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife. Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!"). Sirius: And once again, stupid git! Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:

"And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in all directions since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?" James: Uh, probably. "Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Sirius: Ooh, pretty! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early-it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight." Remus: Oh wonderful, rain. Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. James: Incendio! *James lights a small fire on his bed* Sirius: *puts the fire out with his shirt* What did you do that for Prongs? James: I was trying to thaw him out. Remus: Why would anyone want to thaw him out? Peter: I don't know. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters... Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?" As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.

Sirius: I wonder what it's like to pretend not to have a sister. I should try that. James: It'll be kind of easy considering you don't HAVE a sister Padfoot! Sirius: Oh yeah, right. That would make sense wouldn't it? Others: *nod* "No," she said sharply. "Why?" "Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls.shooting stars.and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today." "So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.

"Well, I just thought ... maybe ... it was something to do with ... you know... *her* crowd."

Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Peter: That's impossible! James: Why? Have you tried it before? Peter: Uh... no comment. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter". He decided he didn't dare. Sirius: If he did, he'd find himself buried alive in Argentina. Others: *stare at Sirius once again* Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?" "I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly. "What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?" "Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me." James: *fuming* ITS BETTER THAN DUDLEY!!!! Remus: Prongs! Calm down! You're starting to scare me! "Oh yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree." He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it was waiting for something. Peter: It's waiting for You-Know-Who to come down the street and finish off the Dursleys. Others: *snicker* Was he imagining things? Peter: No. Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? Remus: Yes. If it did.if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it. The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought was that even if the Potters *were* involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind ... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on-he yawned and turned over - it couldn't affect them. James: How very wrong he was. How very wrong he was. Others: *stare at James* Mr. Dursley might have been drifting off into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no signs of sleepiness. It was sitting still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed in the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. James: *imitates an owl* Whoot, whooooo... Sirius: Aw, give it a rest Prongs! In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all. Peter: Why midnight? Remus: Because, now keep reading! A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. James: Maybe that's because he apparated. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed. Peter- ::lifts hand to wave:: Remus- She can't see you, either, Wormtail. Peter- ::pouts:: Nothing like this man had ever been seen in Privet Drive. He was tall, thin and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak which swept the ground and high-heeled, buckled boots. Sirius: Why does this guy remind me of Dumbledore? James: Because he probably is Dumbledore. Sirius: Oh. His blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. Remus: Yep, that's Dumbledore all right! This man's name was Albus Dumbledore. James/Sirius/Remus: I knew it! Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived on a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. Peter: Too bad for him. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known." Sirius: Ha! It IS McGonagall! He had found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop. Remus: I have one of those things! James: I'll buy it from you! Remus: No way! James: *sticks his tongue out at Remus* He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, Remus: It's not a Put-Outer! It's a Light Extinguisher! Others: Ok... *inch away from Remus* Peter: *falls off the bed with a loud 'thump'* All except Peter: *laugh like monkeys* until the only lights left in the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off sown the street towards number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it. "Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall." Sirius: I told you! I told you! I told you! Remus: Shut up Padfoot! Sirius: Make me! Remus: Ok! *puts a silencing charm on Sirius* Ah... much better! He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather sever-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. James: I LOVE the color emerald! Peter: Why? James: Because it reminds me of my beautiful girlfriend. Remus: Oh yeah, Lily... Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.

Sirius: *breaks the silencing charm* She looked like a huge turkey ruffling its feathers!

All: *laugh and laugh and laugh*

Remus: *imitating McGonagall* Black! 5 points from Gryffindor for cracking horrible jokes about a professor.

Sirius: I never really liked her.

"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly." "You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.

"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here." James: I bet that's where we are. At one of the parties stuffing our faces.

Sirius: Stop! You're making me hungry!

James: Treacle tart, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Custard Creams, sugar quills, ice mice, levitating sherbet balls, fizzing whizbees, chocolate frogs, cockroach clusters, chocolate éclairs, blood lollipops...

Sirius: FFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Remus: Great Prongs! Look what you did!

Sirius: FFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!

James: Oh no, what have I done? I've created a monster! MUAHAAAHAAHHAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* *cough*

Peter: All righty then...

Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily. Sirius: How do you sniff angrily? Others: I don't know. Must be some McGonagall thing. Sirius: Oh. "Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no-even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursley's dark living room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls.shooting stars.Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent-I'll be that was Dedalus Diggle. Remus: Don't we know him?

James: Yeah, he's a Hufflepuff first year. He was one of the targets of our 'change the school robes pink' prank.

Others: Oh yeah...

He never had much sense."

Peter: Of course he didn't he tried feeding the giant squid peanuts when the first years were crossing the lake.

Others: Idiot, he almost didn't make it to see the Sorting Ceremony.

"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."

Sirius: Why eleven? Why not twelve or thirteen?

James: I don't know Padfoot so shut up!

Sirius: Make me!

Remus: Didn't we already go through this?

James/Sirius: Oh yeah...

"I know that, " said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors."

Peter: Bet they were all Hufflepuffs.

She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here,

James: Hey Padfoot! Catch! *throws a sideways glance at Sirius*

as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about as all. I suppose he really *has* gone, Dumbledore?"

Peter: *shivers* Let's hope so...

"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"

James/Sirius/Remus: A what?

"A *what*?"

Peter: A lemon drop.

"A lemon drop.

Sirius: Whoa... that was really strange!

They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."

Sirius: Yum... more food.... *starts drooling*

James: Ugh, Padfoot! You got drool all over my bed! You can sit on the floor!

Sirius: But then I'd be drooling on your floor!

James: *pushes Sirius off the bed*

Sirius: Ouch! Prongs! Why did you do that?

James: Because I felt like it, that's why.

Peter: Such immature children!

James: Hey! We are not!

Remus: Could have fooled me!

James: Whatever! Get back to the story Wormtail!

"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, even if You-Know- Who has gone-"

"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this "You-Know-Who" nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: *Voldemort*."

Peter: *flinches*

Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemons drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying "You-Know-Who".

Remus: No it doesn't, it just makes him sound more frightening than he already is.

Sirius: *sarcastically* Wonderful interpretation Professor Moony!

Remus: *beaming* I try!

I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."

"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, *Voldemort*, was frightened of."

James: And Wormtail's the only person who is frightened of Voldemort.

Peter: *whimpering* Don't say his name!

"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."

Remus: Unless Dumbledore goes over to the Dark Side which will NEVER, EVER, happen.

"Only because you're too-well-*noble* to use them."

Remus: Ok, never mind.

"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."

Sirius: Ok, I really didn't need to hear that!! *puts his hands over his ears and starts humming obnoxiously*

Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing to the *rumors* that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?" All: No, what?

It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she had now.

James: I know that stare only too well. She looked at me like that after I bewitched the suit of armor outside the Great Hall to come in during the middle of breakfast on Christmas morning and sing Christmas songs with er... modified lyrics.

Sirius: Yeah, I remember that! I'll never forget the look on Snape's face when we presented him with a red stocking full of shampoo with a note saying, "You won't recognize this product as you've never used it before, but you use it on that ball of axle grease and oil you call hair. It's supposed to get your hair clean but we don't think there is enough in this stocking to get your hair completely clean as there is WAY too much grease in it. Merry Christmas! Love, The Marauders."

All: *burst out laughing*

Peter: *in between fits of laughter* Ok, back to the story.

It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.

"What they're *saying*," she pressed on, is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow.

Sirius: There's something familiar about that name but I can't put my finger on it.

James: Maybe this will help. I LIVE THERE!

Sirius: Oh yeah... That's where I heard that.

He went to find the Potters.

Remus: Uh oh, this can't be good.

The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are-are-that they're-*dead*."

Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.

All: *shocked silence* *crickets can be heard chirping*

Sirius: Y-you're d-dead? H-how i-is t-that p-p-possible? *starts sobbing on James's shoulder*

Remus: *stares at the wall in shock*

Peter: *grins evilly behind the book* *thinking* Yes, the Dark Lord's plan worked! Ha! Too bad he got himself blown up in the process, oh well, the best man, or in this case Lord, won! What do I care if James died, I'll have the Dark Lord on my side! It won't matter! (AN: Wouldn't you just LOVE to strangle him right now?)

Sirius: I swear James! I'm going to track down the Death Eater that did this to you! He'll be nothing after I'm through with him! I don't care if I go to Azkaban! I'll go mad happy because I brought down the person who killed my best friend! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Remus: Right behind you Padfoot! We'll go mad together!

Peter: *gulps* *still thinking* I think I'm in trouble...

James: I wonder if Lily is Lily Evans.

Sirius: Only in your wildest dreams Prongs! And that's one of the last places I want to be.

James: I love her so much!

Others: *annoyed* We know! Now on with the story.

"Lily and James.I can't believe it.I didn't want to believe it.Oh, Albus."

Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know.I know." he said heavily.

Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potters' son, Harry. But-he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke-and that's why he's gone."

Dumbledore nodded glumly.

"It's-it's true?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done.all the people he's killed.he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding.of all the things to stop him.but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?" "We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know." Sirius: Wow, your son is awesome Prongs!

James: I know...

Remus: He probably didn't get his strong points from his father though.

James: Probably not. Wait a minute! Hey! *slaps Remus* Cut the dead a bit of slack here!

Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge.

James: I have one of those! There's nothing strange about it!

It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"

Sirius: *as narrator* No, actually, I found out from Severus Snape, you know how worried he is. He sends his deepest sympathies.

All: *laugh really really hard*

"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"

"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."

James: What? They can't be sirius!

Sirius: No duh Prongs! Because I'm Sirius!

James: No, give Harry to Sirius! He's his godfather!

Sirius: I am? Thank you so much James!!

"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here?"

James: Couldn't have put it better myself.

cried Professor McGonagall, jumping

Remus: Off a bridge.

All: *laugh once more*

to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets.

Sirius: Is anyone else getting the felling that Dumdum Dudley is a spoiled brat?

Others: YES!!

Sirius: Good, then it's not just me!

Harry Potter come and live here!"

"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly.

Sirius: I siriusly doubt that!

Remus: Oh shut it with the overused pun!

Sirius: NEVER!!!!

"His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."

James: Why do I get the feeling that the letter is going to end up in the Dursley's fireplace?

Sirius: *shrugs* I don't know.

"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

Remus: If it's a long letter it will be great to start a fire with.

James: Either that or the 'Incendio' spell.

These people will never understand him!

Peter: That's a bad thing?

He'll be famous - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future - there will be books written about Harry

Sirius: Try seven.

- every child in our world will know his name!"

James: Including ones who lived twenty years before him.

"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half- moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head.

Remus: Completely around like an owl.

Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"

Sirius: I think he's ready to take it now!

Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind,

James: *opens his mouth and then closes it*

Peter: Why did you do that?

James: *shrugs* I don't know!

swallowed and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.

Sirius: Six owls are going to carry him over here and then drop him and he'll break every bone in his body.

James: *looks as if he's going to strangle Sirius*

Sirius: What? I was just kidding!

"Hagrid's bringing him."

James: Uh oh... *looks extremely worried*

"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"

"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.

"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?"

Sirius: My stomach! I'm still starving over here!

A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.

Sirius: Cool! I SO NEED ONE OF THOSE!!

James: Er, then don't be surprised if you don't get a present from me next Christmas. I don't think the motorcycle will fit in the common room.

Sirius: *whispering in shock* You're kidding Prongs! I'm actually speechless! That never ever ever happens! Thank you so much!! *hugs James around the middle and then starts jumping up and down on the bed rambling about extremely generous friends and 'the best Christmas ever'.

If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so *wild*

All: Hagrid.

-long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of dustbin lids and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.

James: AH!! Hagrid transfigured Harry into a bundle of blankets!

Remus: Prongs, ever stop to think that maybe Harry's inside the bundle of blankets?

James: *blushes* That would make more sense wouldn't it?

Others: Yup!

"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"

"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it me.

Sirius: YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gasps for breath* THANK YOU SO MUCH PRONGS!!!! I OWE YOU HUGE!!!!!!!!!!

James: Yes you do.

I've got him, sir."

"No problems, were there?" "No, sir - house was almost destroyed but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' round. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol." Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was James: AAHHH!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!!! *starts sobbing* a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.

James: *stops crying* Ok, I was wrong... ooh... ouch... that had to hurt.

"Is that where -? " whispered Professor McGonagall.

"Yes", said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."

"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in useful. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

Sirius: Did we REALLY have to know that?

Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with." James: NO! TURN AROUND! TAKE HIM ANYWHERE BUT THERE!!! Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned towards the Dursleys' house. "Could I - could I say goodbye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.

Remus/Sirius: Hey! That's my job!!! *howl*

"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"

"S-s- sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -"

James: Grrr.....

Sirius: Grrrrrr.......

"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found,"

Remus: Well, isn't she sentimental!

Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. James/Sirius- Haven't you ever heard of a garden gate? Remus/Peter- No, what's that? He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously and the twinkling light that usually shone in Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.

Peter: It isn't polite to stare ya know...

Others: Shut up Wormtail! It's an extremely sentimental moment! We're supposed to be mourning Lily and James!

"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations"

"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back.

Sirius: It's about time!

G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir." Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorbike and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night. Sirius: *sighs* I love my motorcycle!

"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall,"

James: I wonder who's in charge of Hogwarts if Dumbledore and McGonagall aren't there.

Remus: Uh, one of the other teachers probably!

Peter: That makes sense.

said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.



Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.



James- Just a bundle of blankets? Where's my son?

A breeze ruffled the hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets

Sirius: And rolled all the way over to my house where I took care of him for the rest of his life. The end.

James: *slaps Sirius*

without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream

Peter: What a lovely alarm clock!

James: *mumbles something about killing the Dursleys*

as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley...

James: Grrrrrrrrrr........

he couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!"

Peter: Well that's the end of chapter 1! Who wants to read next?

Sirius: Ooh... Me me!!

Peter: *tosses the book to Sirius*

Mrs. Potter: James, boys! Dinner!

All: FFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!! *race down the stairs to Mrs. Potter's wonderful cooking*

!@#$%^&*+_)(*&^%$@#$%^&*+_(*&^$#$%^&()_!@#$%^&()#$%^&(__)$%^&$%

AN: Hi! Wow! That took me about 3 hours to write! Plz let me know what you think in the form of a review! NO FLAMES!!!! Thank you! And PLZ sign the petition at the top of the page. It means a lot to me. Thank you!