PLEASE READ:

Major Australia abuse is to come. (comedic)

List of name/character relation:

Jack= Australia, Piper= Wy, Rob= New Zealand


"Yes, Arthur. Yeah. Peter brought extra underwear. He's never had asthma, but we have an inhaler anyway. Yes, Art. Uh huh. Yeah." Jack spoke to Arthur on the phone exasperatedly as they entered one of the several parks in the large expanse that is Disney World. Epcot, he thought Piper had called it.

He was on a five day trip in Orlando, Florida from their home in Sydney with his little sister Piper and her cousin, Peter. Arthur was Jack's uncle that lived in England. Peter was that stuffy Englishman's son.
"Okay, Arthur. BYE." He hung up on his uncle and looked back at the two kids to make sure they weren't kidnapped yet.

"Hey, guys. Where all do you want to go?" The brunette looked directly at his little sister, the one holding the map.
"The World Showcase! Oh, I bet I'll see all kinds of art there! I'll be able to observe all kinds of different cultures and-" She continued rambling as she skipped past her older brother, her curly brown pigtail bouncing behind her. Peter, a slightly younger kid, (around eleven) followed closely behind.
"Hey! Wait up, Piper!" He called, nearly tripping and falling on his face to catch up with her.

Jack sighed and followed the children. It had been a long plane ride to Orlando, and the kids wanted to go to the park the second they'd checked into the hotel. He couldn't help but oblige to their adorable faces.

Pete and Piper ooh'd and ahh'd at the giant metallic ball at the entrance. It was pretty huge. Piper had her camera out and was flashing pictures already.
"Ohhh, Jacky! That's so cool! We're going there as soon as we get inside!" She squealed.
"Yeah, yeah. That's nice." He called from behind her. She was already several yards ahead and entering at the turnstile, showing an overly enthusiastic blonde man her card.
"Sweeeeet. Have a nice day, kiddos!" He grinned at her and then at Peter as they hurried toward the rides and whatnot. Jack showed the American ( as assumed by his accent ) his card.

The blonde paused and looked from the card to Jack, and back again. Jack watched his kids skip away and wondered why this damn man was taking so long.
"Dude." The American began to grin.
"What?" Jack knitted his eyebrows at the other.
"You've been wearing that band aid on your nose for more than two years now!" He laughed loudly and obnoxiously. "I mean, this picture was taken two years ago, and you've got it in the same exact spot!" Another nasally cackle.
"What about it?" The Aussie snapped. This guy could not possibly be more annoying.
"Oh, nothing. We're not supposed to insult the park goers." He snickered to himself and scanned the card, allowing Jack to be on his way.

Jack was grumbling something to himself about stupid Americans when he caught up to the kids.
"Huh?" Piper looked up at him from the plaque she was reading.
"Nothing. Let's go do something cool." He said. The kids nodded, big smiles on their faces.

They had a blast on Spaceship Earth and Mission: SPACE. More so on the second. Even if Jack felt the urge to regurgitate his breakfast after being spun so much. Peter also decided he wanted to ride the Test Track ride. A ride in which you are supposed to be a test track dummy. They also entered the butterfly gardens. It was fun even though Piper kept complaining the flowers were placed in a way painful to the artistic eye.


The kids were giggling as the three entered the World Showcase. This part of the park is made to be like different parts of the world squished together into an extremely multicultural section of Disney World. They entered in a place that reminded Jack of Spain. It may have been the diner with the windows pained with the Spanish flag that made it seem so.

After walking through several different "countries," and raiding many gift shops, the sky getting dark, they eventually decided to rest on a bench somewhere outside of England. Too bad Peter noticed a Mickey Mouse hat stand and Piper decided she needed one to paint.

The two looked eagerly up at the young man running the stand.
"I want that one!" Peter pointed to a hat that looked like it was painted camouflage. "It's so awesome."
"I totally agree, little dude." He said enthusiastically, turning to grab the hat. Jack tilted his head at the sound of the guy's voice.
"And I want just a plain one. I'm going to paint it into an artistic masterpiece." Piper said it like it was serious business. The blonde at the stand laughed and nodded.
"Good deal."

Jack turned to smile at the guy, pulling out his wallet.
"So you're a New Zealander, huh?" He grinned at the other. The boy had curly blonde hair and light green eyes.
"Sure am!" He smiled brightly. "And I'm guessing you're an Aussie." Jack nodded.
"Here vacationing with my little sister and cousin. He's from England, though." He ruffled Peter's hair, receiving an unhappy groan in return. "You can actually see our hotel from here. He pointed to the top of a building far in the distance.
"Oh? That's nice. I know the people that work there." The shorter man leaned forward. "Those hats add up to thirty-five bucks even, by the way."

Jack flinched a little.
"Whaaat? For two hats? Jesus, that's damn pricey." He frowned and pulled out Arthur's credit card.
"Hey, you're in Disney World. You have any idea how much it costs to keep this place running?" The New Zealander rolled his eyes and shifted his weight to his left hip, reaching out for the card. Jack reluctantly let him scan it.

"Can't believe I paid that much for those stupid hats." The Aussie slipped the card back into his wallet.
"Ah, don't be so stingy. I'm Rob, by the way." He held out his hand. Jack shook it, an eyebrow raised.
"Hey. I'm not being stingy. That's just a lot for two hats. You wouldn't buy it would you?" Rob scoffed.

"Of course I wouldn't buy it. I'm a foreign college student making seven dollars an hour in the blistering Florida sun. You know what I ate last night? Half a can of Spaghetti-O's. Because you know what I'm eating tonight? The other half! You honestly think I would have enough money to purchase anything at all from this place?"

Rob looked at Jack, his eyebrows knitted together in a stern look. Jack held his hands up in surrender.

They both heard Piper groan.
"Okay, okay. You're poor and all, but does your cart have to be colored this pitifully?" She motioned with her hands at the bright yellow and red the cart was painted. Rob blinked, his frustration replaced with confusion.
"What?" He peeked his head out to see what she was talking about.
"She always does that." Jack rolled his eyes. "She wants to be everything artistic when she grows up." Piper looked up at her brother with a glare.
"I will be everything artistic when I grow up! And right now, the artistically inclined woman that I am knows that this cart is horribly decorated." She turned her steely look to Rob.
"Hey, chick. It's Disney World property, not mine." He stepped back a little. Piper huffed and looked at Peter.
"Do you agree with me that this cart is disgusting?" Peter nodded.
"If you say so, Pipes!"
"See. I have an opinion to back me up. These colors are putrid." She nodded as if she were agreeing with herself.

There was a silence.

Jack turned to look at Rob the same second Rob had turned to look at him. They shared a gaze for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"She- she said putrid!" Rob gasped out. "I haven't heard that word from anyone but my Grandmother!"
"I know, right?" Jack leaned on the stand and shook his head. "Try living with her!" They both laughed some more. Piper's eyes narrowed dangerously as she looked from one to the other. The girl felt a tug at her shirt and turned to the source with a snap.
"What?" She growled. Peter yelped.
"I- I still think you're awesome, Piper!" He smiled nervously. She grunted.

After a few minutes of chuckling and further conversation, Piper suggested it was time to go back home.
"Hey, I know you two are bonding and all, but my stomach hurts and I'm tired. I want to go back to the hotel." She said it in a rather whiny tone. Jack nodded.
"Okay, Pipes. You ready to go, Peter?" He looked down at the boy who had decided to sit on the ground.
"Yeah, I guess. If she's not feeling good..." He picked himself back up. Jack looked at Rob.
"It was nice talking to you, ya Kiwi." Jack smiled at the blonde.
"Come back, ya Aussie." Rob grinned and waved his hand.

Just as Jack pulled away from the stand and started for the exit, Piper decided to turn around and give Rob one last word.

"I think you two should go out or something. I mean Jack is TOTALLY GAY." She said the last two words louder than necessary, getting the attention of several passersby, then continued walking (Peter at her side) as if she had said nothing. Jack stood there for a moment in shock, but finally followed her. He gave his acquaintance a sheepish look, wishing he could go back and explain himself. He couldn't see the look on the others face from this distance.

She was so showering last.


They had made it back to the hotel safely. Jack was extremely embarrassed, so he went ahead and showered and went to bed. (All without one word to Piper. Not that she gave a crap.)

Piper had an idea in mind. She wanted to do that poor New Zealander a favor, and it involved paint. She peeked her head in her brother's room to make sure he was asleep. He was passed out in the most atrocious position she could think of. How he slept like that, she had no clue.
"Peter. Do you have the paint?" Piper whispered.
"Yeah, Pipes. I have everything in here." He pointed to his backpack. She nodded.
"Excellent."

And so the two left the hotel room soundlessly and headed for the elevator. They would be sneaking into Epcot and repainting that artistically challenged Kiwi's stand. Piper's lip curled into a smile as the elevator doors closed.

"This is going to be fun."


A/N: This is chapter one of this fanfic. It should go one for another four chapters, but I'm not completely sure yet.

I was appalled by the lackage of AU/NZ fanfics, so this was born.

Expect this to be updated in the near future.

Please review. It fuels my fingers~ (B