"Oh, River, let me count the ways I do love thee by a midsummer's day romp... Oh, wait, that's not right, is it? William told me all these things, he was such a lovely man. He would've had me sprawled across his bed stark naked if I had stay a minute more. And what a sight it would've been!" He hicupped. "Ten had the loveliest arse, wouldn't you say, Sweetie?"
River just sipped her drink.
"I often caught Rose staring at it. She would always do funny things with her fingers and her collarbone, and she bit her lip. That's what it was! Biting!" He leaned forward toawrds his wife's neck and nipped. Inebriated though he was, he made sure he was gentle.
"Good lord, darling, how much have you had?" River made no attempt to halt his ministrations, but rather tipped her head back further.
"A glass or a lot." His breath tickled. "May I please have you, River? I'm feeling very strange, and you taste delicious. There's this overpowering feeling of lust rising in my hindbrain and I want to take you, right here." There was a dark gleam in his eye as he swept his braces off his shoulders and unbuttoned his pants.
River's mind raced but she couldn't make a sound. There really wasn't any way to get used to him like this. He was usually all thumbs and left feet, but when he finally zeroed in on his sex drive he rivaled Casanova. And she had met Casanova. He had quit flirting with her when she had mentioned her husband; instead, he began raving about a chicken, but before that he was quite the smooth talker. In spite of her inability to respond, she found herself undressing him, starting at the bow tie.
While he kicked off his shoes, he started whispering in River's ear. "You know, some woman tried to con me into marrying her earlier. Quirky little redhead, playing the innocent outer-rim resident. Lying through her teeth, I could practically smell it. It took me quite a while to get her to leave, and when she did, she immediately pulled the same act on some 'Browncoat' as I believe they're called in this era, and he bought it. Ooh, don't put that shirt in the dirt, just drape it over the log. Bit nippy out here, tonight, eh?" Holding either side of her face, he kissed her fiercely as she tugged his pants down far enough for him to kick them off.
"Well, you've warmed me up quite nicely," he mused, "But now I think you're a bit overdressed." He swept her curls over her now-bared shoulder. The dress was too fancy for this planet anyway.
"River?!" An unfamiliar voice came from beyond the edge of the fire's light. The Doctor snatched his jacket off the ground and attempted to cover both his wife's chest and his hips, just barely succeeding. A man who looked lost walked toward them.
Clearing her throat, and regaining her head, River curtly said, "Yes?"
The young man looked as if he didn't belong here either, and spoke with an American accent. "Sorry... I was just looking for my sister-are you naked?"
