Patrick picked up the red phone off the side of his bed and started to dial the number on his desk.

"Hum, 233-2432." That's not a number.

Patrick put down the phone and got himself out of bed. Going through the same routine he went through every day he brushed his teeth and put on a new pair on pants (not that it mattered), and headed out. Patrick thought of his plans for the day.

I wonder what Squidward's doing today?

Patrick walked up to Squidward's house. He reached up and gently knocked on the door.

"THUMP, THUMP, THUMP." No answer.

Maybe Squidward's hurt. Or worse... missing work. Patrick stared at the door. He gives me no other choice, I'm going in.

Patrick slammed himself the door full force and broke into the house.

"Don't worry Squidward I'm here to save you!".

Patrick rushed through the living room up the stairs to Squidward's bedroom.

Nobody's here, OH NO!. Squidward's been kidnapped!

Patrick rushed to the bathroom and searched the bathtub. He's not here.

Then he searched Squidward's toilet. He's not here either.

Patrick opened the cabinet, frantically moving various shampoo and skin lotions out of the way. Ohhh Bosley, I always wanted hair.

After stuffing several cremes and ointments into his pants Patrick finally came to the realize the truth of the situation...

I'm bald.

Patrick broke down crying, creating wet spots all over Squidward's floor. "HOW COULD I BE SO NAIVE!" "I'M BALD!"

Patrick went back down the steps but tripped and fell halfway though and rolled down the rest of the way.
He picked himself up. "I need comfort food".

Patrick walked to kitchen and raided Squidward's refrigerator. Then he sat back down and pouted. "Spongebob always knew, I guess he was in on it". "Make fun of Patrick cause he's bald".

Squidward's not bald, Spongebob's not bald. Or is he. That's not the point Patrick, you've been betrayed.

Patrick slammed his fist into Squidward's table, breaking it. "I trust no one!".

He got up and surveyed his surroundings. The mess he created.

Oh my gosh I forgot to look for Squidward! He stared at the refrigerator. "This is all your fault!" The refrigerator sat there. Patrick fumed.

"Say something!"

He picked the refrigerator up and slammed it into the ground. Tearing it in two.

"Now I can go back to finding my friend".

Patrick walked out the way he came in. Except this time there was no door. Patrick sat down in the open sand to brainstorm.

Why would Squidward leave, certainly not because of me... or Spongebob. Patrick thought back to the night before, he was watching Bikini Bottoms Most Wanted...

FLASHBACK

"Never suspected, Ian Terrorfish was arrested on 2 counts of robbery in the first degree, and kidnapping".

(This was followed by a very ugly picture of a Photoshopped Fish in a jail cell)

"So", continued the announcer, "Always be on alert for constant vigilance, its always the one's we least expect that cause the most trouble". "For Bikini Bottom's Most Wanted, I'm Perch Perkins". "Remember, stay safe and always be on the lookout for crime in your area".

FLASHFORWARD

Patrick went back inside Squidward's house. He surveyed the mess around him. "Never suspected, Ian Terrorfish was arrested on 2 counts of robbery in the first degree, and kidnapping", rung in the back of his mind.

This place is trashed, someone has been in here. Patrick walked into the kitchen.

"All of this searching has made me hungry". Patrick stared in disgust at the sight before him. "What Monster!"

Patrick sat down beside the broken refrigerator trying to put the pieces back together. Patrick pulled his head up and shouted, "WHAT ANIMAL WOULD DO THIS!".

Patrick broke down and started to sob. "It had so much promise, but it was taken away!" "How am I supposed to eat without Squidward's refrigerator!"

Then he stopped.

No Patrick, crying won't help anything. Just think, what would Squidward do.

He looked over at Squidward's amateurish self-portrait. "Squidward wouldn't cry, or break down in self pity." "No, Squidward would get to the bottom of this!". "But where should I start?".

Patrick marched upstairs to Squidward's bedroom.

At least the bed is in good shape. Patrick walked up to the bed and smelled the covers. "He was here this morning, I can feel it." "If he got out of bed.. he might have went to the restroom!"

Patrick walked over to Squidward's bathroom. "Oh my gosh!"

"Somebody has raided Squidward's cabinet!" Patrick slammed the cabinet door, causing it to break.

Don't worry Squidward I'll find you. "Never again!"

Patrick stomped down the stairs back into the living room. Where he was met by the T.V. "This is outrageous, someone has kidnapped Squidward."

When the T.V. didn't respond Patrick continued, "But it gets worse, they trashed Squidward's house!" Patrick stomped his feet to drive home his point, but he stepped on the remote.

"Today's weather will be mild..."

"NOBODY CARES!"

Patrick grabbed the T.V. and threw it across the room.

"Today's weather will be mild", Patrick mocked. "Today's weather sucks!"

Patrick stomped out of Squidward's house. "I'm getting to the bottom of this."