Title: Meine Freunde means my friends. Why this title? Because I still think Krauser was born in Germany.

Summary: The one and only official sequel to Wesker has a Way With... A series of one, two or three-shots starring Wesker, Krauser, HUNK, Mr. Merchant and a new person who needs a new job.
Crackfics? Yes! Nonsense? Yes! Why? Because I can! I am so excited xD

Disclaimer: I do not, will not ever and don't think I do own Resident Evil. If I did I wouldn't be sitting here, writing this. I will not repeat this again, as my author's notes are long enough already.

Warnings: None yet.

Inspired by: Wesker has a Way on Wheels. Chapter 19 of WWW if I am correct.

Side-note: You do not need to read WWW in order to understand this. They are one-shots, there is no real plot.

Please, enjoy.


Chapter one; Do something therapeutic.

The day had come to an end. Everyone that worked for Wesker had gone home, back to their families and friends. The only people left at that point were Wesker himself, Jack 'Power' Krauser and mister Never Killed.
Sure, they all had families too, somewhere anyway, and it's not like they still had a lot of work to do, but they didn't feel like going home yet. Something was keeping them from leaving, and they didn't mind.

So they just sat down in Wesker's office, and talked about things. Things meaning a lot of nonsense, just to kill some time.

"I am very social." Krauser was sitting on the ground, drinking a beer. Heineken of course, because Krauser liked the logo. "Everyone says I am not, but that is because they aren't social, therefore never bothered to talk to me."

Wesker took off his sunglasses and stared at Krauser's face. "You are as social as a squirrel." He stated clearly. "When you wanted a job from me you didn't even look at me, and one of the things that people do to seem social, is look at someone when talking to them."

"When I wanted that job I let you ride around on my tractor. Do you think I let just anyone ride around on Trekkie?" Krauser asked. "No, I do not!"

HUNK, without a gasmask if I might add, was sitting with his legs hanging out of the window. He liked doing that because he felt 'hot' all the time. "Nobody wants to ride a tractor these days, Jack."

"What about Wesker then?"

"Wesker's Wesker, that's the only logical explantion one could ever come up with for the things Wesker does."

Wesker turned his chair into HUNK's direction. "I am not quite sure whether to take that as a compliment?"

HUNK shrugged. "I am not sure whether I meant it as one either."

"Mister Never Killed, one push in your back and you will be Human Unit Killed, or HUK if you want."

Krauser cheered. "I knew a Huk once! Huckleberry Finn! He lived next door!" Krauser stood up and walked up to HUNK. "Are you related to him?"

"Krauser, someone made that person up, it's a fictional character." Wesker muttered. "Didn't you ever go to school?"

Krauser nodded. "I did, actually. I even went to college for a full year."

This caught HUNK's interest so he turned around. "Really? What did you study that year?"

"What?" Krauser replied.

"What did you study.... You know, what did you learn at college?"

"Oh nothing, I only went there to pick up my girlfriend." Krauser smirked. "So I suppose I studied the female figure."

Wesker shook his head in disbelief and wondered why he had hired Krauser. Sure, it had been mostly because of the tractor, but he was pretty sure that there should've been another reason for it aswell. It's a sad thing he couldn't remember it anymore. Wesker sighed, he missed the good old days every once in a while. Evenings like these made him feel a little unstable.

Krauser was lost in his own thoughts aswell. He had not thought about that one girlfriend for a while, and then all of the sudden, it was all coming back to him now. He missed her sometimes, but he couldn't do anything to make up with her anymore. He had rode her to college every day on Trekkie, but then she had met a nerd that drove a Volkswagen Beetle. The choice wasn't hard to make, Volkswagens beat every alternative.

HUNK was lost in thought too for a while. He thought about Matilda, the only woman he had ever loved. He thought about his gasmask, that the red goggles didn't really suit him. And he thought about his shoe, which he appeared to had lost while hanging out of the window.

"SO!" Krauser yelled out loud, ruining the moment of peace. "Tell me something new!"

"Someone ate my skittles." HUNK told Krauser with a serious expression. "I think it was you..."

"Yes, that was me indeed." Krauser stuck out his tongue, which had a very pretty yellow colour. "I tasted the rainbow, and it was good."

HUNK frowned. "What the hell does a rainbow taste like anyway?" He glanced at Wesker with a questioning expression. "Sir?"

Wesker put his sunglasses back on and scowled. "How the hell should I know? The closest I ever came to tasting a rainbow is when I ate that leprechaun."

"Hnnnnn..." They all fell quiet again. It was a slow night, one of those nights that seemed would never end. Outside it had started to rain and for some reason that made everything look a little sad...

Krauser agreed with me. "I feel sad." He suddenly exclaimed. "I don't know why, but I do."

"I know how you feel." Wesker agreed aswell. "Even I feel sad, and usually I only feel pissed off, so this is rather new."

HUNK came out of the window and stood up straight. "Then we should do something... Therapeutic!"

Krauser nodded violently. "I saw a therapist for a while! I was having difficulties finding out who I was!" He smiled. "But I found out again! Right after I discovered I hid my ID-card in the pants I never wore anymore."

HUNK stared at Krauser. "So did you talk to that person and all?"

Krauser nodded again. Krauser's doing a lot of nodding today, is he not? "Well yes, about where I come from, and about my past and all."

"Something happen in your past, then?" Wesker was getting curious.

"Duh, why do you think I am the Krauser I am today?"

"Because someone dropped you on your head when you were still a baby?" HUNK said. "Or because of your mutant-arm-trick? Maybe it was Leon, you worked with him right? I saw a picture of you without the scars, you were damn hot." HUNK blushed. "Oh whatever."

Krauser blushed too, his scars pretty much glowing now. "Tee-hee."

"For the love of me, men, that was just plainly disturbing." Wesker complained. "If you feel the need to act gay, get a damn room."

Krauser turned his head away from his comrades and ignored Wesker's comment. Krauser wasn't gay, Krauser was Krauser, there really wasn't a better explanation for his actions. Just like Wesker was just Wesker and HUNK... Gay, or so it appeared anyway. Or maybe his comrade was feeling emo, just like Wesker and Jack were themselves.
Best to blame things on the weather.

"Moving on." HUNK stated shortly. "Do something therapeutic."

"Smoke weed?" Krauser immedietely came up with. "Remember when we did that? How handy Wesker's hand got and how I got tied to a windmill?" Krauser appeared to think for a moment, which I know is pretty damn hard to imagine. "Oh never mind, we can't do that again, I was a hazard."

"In a leather skirt." HUNK added, his memory of their days in the Netherlands still pretty fresh in his brain.

Krauser snickered. "Oh dear, do you remember how Wesker sat down in the middle of the street and tried to do a wave on his own?"

Wesker rolled his eyes, though invisible as always. "Shut up Jack."

"I mostly remember the fact I got laid by a hooker and never paid for anything." HUNK said very proudly. "But no weed, that's not therapeutic, that's just forgetting about your sadness."

Wesker rolled his awesome chair of doom backwards and rolled to the door. He opened it and glanced into the hallway. "It appears even security went home." He frowned. "Which they were not supposed to, but alas."

"Your point?" Krauser took off his lame beret and scratched his head. "You wanna go do something bad, sir?"

Wesker shrugged. "Bad? Dear heart, did I ever do something good then?"

"Well no, but I mean... You called me dear heart!" Krauser cried out. "You guys really like me a lot!"

Wesker glared at Krauser and stood up. "Gentleman, several years ago I have raced Mr. Joseph Frost in an office chair race. It was rather amusing, I will have to admit that." He grabbed his chair and started to roll it towards the door. "If the two of you get your chairs aswell, I'll show you how much fun exactly."

Krauser snickered and skipped to his own office, which was really hard to enter because of the amount of boxes that were piled up in there. He grabbed his chair and rolled it away, knocking several things over in the process. Happily he sat down in the middle of the hallway, next to Wesker's chair, and waited for HUNK to arrive on the scene aswell.

Mr. Never Killed arrived shortly after, already practising by rolling there while in the chair, rather than walking behind it. He rolled towards Krauser and bumped him so hard, Krauser started to roll again aswell. But eventually they were all lined up and ready to go.

"Okay, rules... We do one lap, and the first one to arrive wins... No superhuman speed, mutations or weapons allowed. Bumping someone, however, is." Wesker stated while bracing himself for the upcoming race. "If you get knocked out you will be disqualified."

"Aye, sir." Krauser muttered happily. He was bouncing in his chair because he couldn't wait to get started,

HUNK nodded. "Okay."

Wesker took a deep breath and placed his feet firmly on the ground. "Okay... Three... Two... One... GO!"

All three men started moving at the same time. HUNK was immedietely ahead of the other two, but didn't get very far as he took the wrong turn and got trapped at a dead end. By the time he was done turning around and aiming his chair the right way, Wesker and Krauser were had long passed him, and HUNK was officially out of the race. So he rolled back to the start and waited for his comrades to finish.

Krauser was having a great time. He was nearly laughing his beret off as he saw Wesker behind him, violently trying to pass him. But Krauser wasn't really thinking about where he was headed, so he ended up bumping a wall extremely hard, and being knocked out of his chair. A little dizzy he sat up and looked around. "Oh, look, stars in the sky." He walked back to his chair and decided to finish the race after all, even though he wouldn't win anymore.

That meant Wesker was the only one left, and therefore the winner of the first round. Or so he had been, had HUNK not came racing in from the other side, colliding with Wesker who didn't really see where he was going anymore. "ARGH!" Both blondes yelled when they too were launched from their chairs.

In the meanwhile Krauser was on a roll again and passed them with the speed of light, kicking up so much dust that HUNK and Wesker turned a strange shade of gray in an instant.

"Yuck." Wesker muttered while brushing off the dust. "Krauser is winning, and that's because you knocked me out of my chair."

HUNK smirked sheepishly. "I am so sorry." He breathed while shaking like a dog. "Next round we'll just have to try harder, and not make wrong turns."

So they did it again. The second time Wesker won, the third time Krauser won again because Wesker took a wrong turn aswell, and the fourth time HUNK won, which was just sheer coincidence and a lot of luck.

As for the fifth...

"Ready? Set? GO!" Wesker's voice echoed through the hallway as they wanted to start their fifth lap. They all took off again, legs almost coming off as they kept pushing themselves forwards. The first to go down was HUNK, who had some chair malfunction. One of his wheels got detached in the process, and HUNK landed hard on his back, seeing the same stars as Krauser had seen before. Then he blacked out.

Both Wesker and Krauser came to a screeching halt. "COMRADE DOWN AT TWELVE O'CLOCK!" Krauser screamed before getting out of his chair and running towards HUNK. "Comrade down!"

Wesker followed Krauser, but in a lot calmer way. "Oh man, I knew this would happen sometime..." He muttered annoyed. "You grab his legs, I grab his arms." He nodded at HUNK who was out cold and grabbed the man's arms.

Krauser and Wesker swung HUNK onto the couch in Wesker's office and started to stare at the unconcious man. Stare so intensely, their brainwaves caused HUNK to awake and sit up in shock. "Staring people! My brain detects staring people!" He glanced at his comrades and frowned. "And they're men, too." He stated with a pout. "How sad."

"I think it's time to get home." Wesker said with a very satisfied look on his face again. "That was fun, right?"

Krauser nodded happily. "VERY fun!" He smiled. "I'll give HUNK a ride home since he's probably still dizzy."

After saying bye to Wesker, Krauser and HUNK left the office to get home. "That was so much fun..." Krauser mumbled while almost dropping his tractorkeys on the ground. "Time to get some sleep, though..."

"Fun indeed." HUNK beamed. "And thanks for giving me a ride home, my head hearts like mad..." Then he saw Krauser's tractor, Trekkie, and a look of disapproval washed over his face. "It's gonna take hours to home on that thing."

Krauser shook his head and grinned. Both men sat down on the evil vehicle of doom. Krauser started the engine and put on his seatbelt. He told HUNK to do the same. A second later they rode off with a speed of about fifty miles per hour.

"It's not that fast..." HUNK stated. "But at least it's faster than my bicycle."

Krauser nodded again, Krauser needs to stop nodding before his head falls off, come to think of it. "Indeed."

In the meanwhile Wesker had fallen asleep on the couch in his office, too tired to go anywhere. But that didn't matter. Wesker felt very content. There was nothing better than racing your comrades through hallways, bumping everything and everyone in the process. He snickered in his sleep when his cat Mr. T tried to sit lay on his face. "-mumble- -mumble- I love my friends -mumble- -mumble-."


Wesker considers them friends. Ain't that cute? xD
I forgot how insanely much fun it is to write crackfics and humor. I had fun writing this!

If you liked it, please leave me a review :D Some of you WWW-readers told me you would stalk me again when the sequel came out. Here it is :D

Until next time, dear strangahs. 3