It started out as one of those normal family dinners. Except there was nothing normal about it.
It's one thing when you bring your boyfriend over to finally be over with the akward introduction part and so on.
When you are also a boy, it may not go as smooth.
Especially if you are Spiderman.
Especially if you are Spiderman, and your boyfriend is no one else but the Merc with a Mouth. Deadpool.
When Peter told his fathers about his relationship, it was almost literally hell on earth. Not that Tony had a problem with his son dating another male, nah. This would have been kind of odd coming from someone who also had a husband instead of a wife.
The problem was with the one he decided to be an item with.
And now, in a silence that could be best described as awkward, they sat, barely over with the soup and starting the main course.
All it took was one single question.
- Daddy, can you pass me the salt? - asked Peter. Innocent, little question right?
But his eyes were quick to widen to near the size of a watermelon when both Wade and Tony moved to reach for the salt. Their fingers collided just above the small container.
And there came the most awkward silence ever known to humanity. No one moved a single inch.
As for Tony, it was one thing that his precious babyboy had a phrase...of course he'd rebel. He managed to get over the fact he was dating Deadpool. The batshit crazy psycho. But he liked to cradle himself into thinking it was nothing but holding hands. And there goes the bastard, destroying his sweet illusions.
After a good two minutes of total silence, Wade gulped and spoke up.
- C-can I get a headstart?
- Three seconds.
The illusion-wrecker merc hurridly kicked the chair from under him and stormed towards the door, with one utterly pissed Tony Stark on his heel.
He shouted back.
- See you later, baby boy!
- WADE!
All that was audible was the muffled sounds of punches, cracks of breaking items and occasionally, painful cries.
As for Steve and Peter?
Both sat there, deadpanned, with their faces buried in their palms.
