Disclaimer: Some text taken from Season 4 Episode 1 "Partner's Complaint" by Glenn Eichler without permission. I don't own it or any other part of Daria.
Mrs. Benett smiled overenthusiastically as she described the class's new assignment, "Class, this will be very exciting. We're going to set aside our books and experience some real-life economics: renting an apartment, applying for a credit card, opening a retirement account. Of course, I don't expect you to actually rent an apartment or what have you. You'll just go through as much of the process as you can and report back on your experiences. Your assignment tonight is to pick a project and a partner."
Daria glanced over at Jane and felt her stomach churn. Jane had been talking about her new boyfriend nonstop for the last few weeks and it was driving her insane. She didn't think she could stand listening to it for the next week without a way out. Raising her hand she asked, "Excuse me, what if we prefer to work alone?"
Still smiling, Mrs. Benett said, "I'd really rather you work with someone, Daria. In the real world, we rarely make financial decisions without having to consider someone else's needs and wishes."
"Lousy real world," Daria muttered, trying to ignore Jane's wounded look.
"So you want to do the project alone, hmm?" Jane asked, as she and Daria trudged across the courtyard after classes let out.
"Kind of. I kind of said that to tick you off," Daria half-lied.
Jane was about to say something back when she was almost bowled over by Brittany. Kevin, a step behind her, asked the cheerleader, "So, babe, what do you want to do for our economics project?"
Brittany came to a stop and turned on her heel to face her boyfriend, hands in fists at her sides. "I'm not doing any project with you, you big ape," she almost screamed and shoved her hands into Kevin's chest, knocking him back.
"Oh, yeah? Then who are you going to do your project with?" Kevin shouted back.
"Um..." Brittany scanned the surrounding area, her eyes lighting up when she spotted Daria. "Daria, Mr. Thompson and I are not speaking, so do you want to do the economics project with me?"
"Huh?" Daria asked, surprised at being drawn into the spectacle. When she regained her bearings she turned to Jane and gave her a questioning look.
Jane shrugged, turning away. "Don't do me any favors," she said, slightly bitter.
A bit hurt, Daria turned back to Brittany and said, "Sure, Brittany, why not?"
"Great!" Brittany squeaked,
"But then who am I partners with?" Kevin asked, utterly lost.
Jane looked over the other students in the courtyard and shrugged. "Eh, at least I know they won't fail you. Let's go sport boy," she said, dragging off a confused Kevin.
Taking in what had just happened, Daria muttered, "I hate everyone."
Brittany just smiled and tilted her head in thought. "So whose house are we meeting at?"
Brittany's room wasn't what Daria had expected. She had imagined some pink abomination like her sister's, but Brittany's room was done in muted colors with wooden accents. Her bed was an unremarkable queen sized affair without any frills, and the only furniture was a very plain dresser, a small TV on a simple stand, and a surprisingly full bookshelf. A large bay window with a window seat overlooked the backyard.
"Um, nice room," Daria said lamely, unable to think of any cutting remarks.
"Thanks," Brittany said happily as she closed the door, "Have a seat." She gestured to the window, then walked over and sat down herself.
Daria ignored her invitation and walked over to the bookshelf. There were well worn romance novels like she'd expected, but there were real books there too. Lots of plays, including most of Shakespeare's work, but also fiction by Dickens, Twain, Faulkner, Kesey, and more. "Brittany, are you sure this is your room?"
Brittany heaved a heavy sigh. "I'm not stupid Daria." Her voice sounded similar to what Daria was used to, but off. It lacked the squeaks and pitch changes that made it so grating.
Daria turned to look at the blonde, who was taking her hair out of its iconic ponytails. The constant vacant expression had left her face, replaced with a relaxed smile. She looked different, more real somehow. "Right, and I'm the leader of the Boys R Guys fanclub," Daria snarked, trying to maintain her balance in the strange situation.
"It's an act," Brittany continued, ignoring Daria's barb, "The all American girl. Ditzy cheerleader dating the star quarterback. I was born to play the part." She waved a hand, gesturing to her body, down from her bouncy blonde hair to her generous bust to her seemingly endless legs. "It's just for a couple more years, then I can leave this stupid town behind," she added, almost as if she was trying to convince herself.
Daria walked over to the bed and sat down, struggling to process what was going on. The dissonance of Brittany speaking without a squeak was surprisingly jarring. After recovering, she said, "Okay, let's say this is actually happening and isn't just some weird dream brought on by my dad's latest attempt at cooking. Why are you telling me?"
Brittany shook her head, smiling. "I'm telling you because I like you Daria. You're cool and smart and funny, and you don't let anyone tell you how to live. I've wanted to get to know you forever, but I never got the chance before."
Daria blushed at the praise and turned away. "Um, thanks, I guess."
Brittany's face twisted itself up in worry. "I'm sorry. I'm freaking you out aren't I? Look, you can leave if you want to."
Daria looked at the girl across from her. Hair down, with an anxious expression, she didn't look anything like the bimbo she was used to. Despite herself, she felt pity for the blonde. "Well, we still have to do the assignment."
It was Brittany's turn to blush. "Oh, right. I guess we should get started." She dug the handout Mrs. Benett had given them out of her backpack. "Um, Daria? This might be easier if we sat on the same side of the room."
"Oh, right," Daria replied, blushing again as she squeezed in next to Brittany on the narrow window seat. "Bet you and Kevin have a lot of fun here."
Brittany moved a few pillows to make more space. "Ha! As if I'd ever let that idiot anywhere near my room."
Daria arced an eyebrow, "He doesn't know?"
Brittany shook her head. "No one does, except Jodie. And now you."
Daria felt a weight press down on her. She'd realized Brittany was trusting her with something big, but this was crazy. "Brittany how can you trust me like this? You barely know me."
"I know you're a good person. You've always helped me when I really needed it, even if you made fun of me the rest of the time. Not that that's really me anyway."
Daria found herself blushing again. "I think you've fallen off the human pyramid one to many times."
Brittany shrugged, her arm brushing Daria's. "Maybe, but that's how I feel."
Daria tried to scoot further away, the whole situation making her feel uncomfortable. "Let's just work on the assignment.
"Okay." Brittany held the sheet between them. "What are our options?" She scanned the list and scowled. "I suppose I'm supposed to say 'Oh, we can plan a wedding! That sounds dreamy. I can marry Kevie and we can live happily ever after. Then I can waste my life raising his kids, because there's nothing I want more than to spend my life with an idiot who thinks the only plays are the ones he runs on the football field'." The assignment was now mangled in her clenched hand.
Daria couldn't help but chuckle at hearing all that in Brittany's cheerleader voice. At the same time, she was worried about the other girl's demeanor. "If it makes you that angry, why do you do it?"
Brittany consciously relaxed her muscles. She took a deep breath in and out, and said, "My dad. We didn't always get along. Weird theater kids don't go over well at the country club. Perky cheerleader princesses go over great though, so he made me an offer. A full ride at whatever college I can get into and plenty of money to play with in the meantime. At first it was like a play. I had the lead role, Lawndale Barbie. Now I'm in so deep it's like sometimes I don't know who I am anymore."
Daria took a moment to process the new information, then lamely said, "Oh… So, you like theatre?"
Brittany smiled and nodded. "My mom was an actress. My real mom, not Ashley-Amber. She died when I was little. She got me into theatre and I've always loved it. I want to major in it in college. I actually have tickets for a play tonight. You could come if you like. Jodie cancelled on me, as usual."
Daria thought about it for a moment and shrugged. "It's not like I have anything else to do." Jane would probably be busy with her new boyfriend anyway.
Brittany beamed, "Great I'll pick you up at six forty-five." Straightening out the paper she'd crushed, she held it between Daria and herself. "So what do you think?"
Daria looked over the options and shrugged. "Renting an apartment looks like the easiest."
"Sounds good to me roomie," Brittany agreed with a smile.
The doorbell rang and Daria rushed out of her room, hoping to get to the door before her parents. She really didn't want to try to explain going to the theatre with the a cheerleader. She slowed her pace when she reached the top of the stairs, she could already see her father talking to someone at the door. Sometimes she thought he just waited by the door the way he always answered it so quickly.
"Hi! Sorry, Quinn's already—" Jake started, before realizing the person at the door was a young woman. "Do you have the right house?"
The girl was dressed in a baggy black long coat worn open over black jeans and a faded grey concert tee. Long black hair cascaded down her back, with a purple streak falling across the side of her face. Daria wouldn't have even suspected it was Brittany if not for the sizable chest she was trying to hide with the coat.
"I think so," she said, "This is Daria's house right?" Even her voice was different.
Jake's face lit up. "Sure is!" He turned to Daria as she walked up and said, "Hey, kiddo! I didn't know you had more than one friend."
"You know me, Ms. Popularity."
Turning back to the girl Jake asked, "What's your name?"
"Alice," Brittany replied naturally, "and I'm not really Daria's friend."
"Oh," Jake sighed, dejected.
With a grin, she continued, "I'm her date."
Daria's eyes bulged, but her shock was quickly replaced with amusement as she watched her father flounder. She decided to play along, "What's wrong Dad? Quinn goes out on dates all the time."
Jake pulled at his collar, his face sweaty. "N-nothing. Nothing wrong at all. I just didn't—" He leaned toward Daria and conspiratorially whispered, "Does this mean you and Jane—"
Daria's features darkened. "Bye Dad," she said, cutting him off. She grabbed Brittany's arm and dragged her out the door. "Come on Alice, we don't want to be late."
Brittany waved to the still confused Jake as she was dragged towards the luxury sedan parked on the street. "Don't worry Mr. Morgendorffer, I won't keep her out too late."
Once they were both in the car, Daria turned to face Brittany. "What the hell was that?"
Brittany laughed. "Oh, come on. That was hilarious."
Daria couldn't help but smirk. "Point, but can you give me a heads up the next time you decide to come out to one of my parents for me?"
A look of surprise flashed across Brittany's face, quickly replaced with worry as she turned to stare down at the steering wheel. "Sorry," she said, "It just kind of came out. You're not really mad are you?"
Daria leaned her head back and sighed. Something about Brittany, she had no idea what, made Daria not want to hurt her. "It's fine. I'm sure I can find some way to milk it."
Brittany's face relaxed into a smile as she put the car into gear. "Good. How about I take you out to dinner after the play, to make up for it. I know a great diner that should still be open."
"Um, sure," Daria said looking out the passenger window. After a few minutes of watching houses go by in an silence, she asked, "So where'd you get the costume? And the car for that matter, I thought you didn't have one."
"Like I said, as long as I keep the act up, my dad gives me money to keep myself entertained. Borrowing one of the cars is another perk."
"And the costume lets you do that without ruining your image," Daria said, understanding.
"That, and it's fun. What do you think of Alice?"
"She's certainly a step up from 'cheerleader' Brittany." Daria glanced at Brittany's chest. "Although some things are hard to hide."
Brittany sighed. "Yeah, that's a problem. I'm thinking of getting a reduction once I leave home."
Once again, Daria's image of Brittany was shattered. "Wouldn't that be an asset in the acting business?"
"That's more film than stage. I'd rather not have to live with back pain my entire life anyway."
"I hadn't thought of that," Daria said, looking down at her own chest. "How much longer until we get there?"
"About thirty minutes."
"Thirty minutes?" Daria asked, not sure she'd heard right.
Brittany laughed. "What? You didn't expect to find good theatre in the suburbs, did you?"
Daria snuck into the house at around one-o'clock, somehow managing to avoid waking Quinn or her parents. She quickly changed into her sleeping clothes and climbed into bed, eager to get some rest after a long and bizarre day. Sleep, unfortunately, was not forthcoming. As she lay staring at the ceiling, eyes adjusting to the near dark of her room, her mind raced through the day's events.
She'd never admit it, but her "date" with "Alice" had actually been a lot of fun. She'd been worried when she first saw the little hole in the wall theatre, but the play was great. Much more modern and conceptual than she'd expected from the girl always trying to get Kevin to butcher Shakespeare with her. But then again Brittany had defied a lot of expectations over the past day. Like when those guys started giving them trouble at the diner, Daria had never seen an arm bend that way outside of TV. And on the drive home they'd actually talked about books. That was something she could never do with Jane.
She didn't know what to think about Jane. She knew she was acting jealous, but could she really be blamed with the way Jane had been going on about Tom? What was so important about some guy? Jane had been her only real friend since she moved here and it hurt to have that taken away. Maybe making friends with Brittany was the right move, maybe she needed someone new too.
Eventually sleep came, but it wasn't particularly restful. Stressful unremembered dreams left her tired and tangled in sweaty sheets when she woke early the next morning.
Before they went to follow up some leads on apartments, Daria and Brittany decided to grab some pizza. It was a bit awkward spending time with Brittany in her cheerleader persona after learning it was an act, or mostly an act, Brittany was still Brittany. Daria found herself able to enjoy her new friend's personality through the façade, to some extent at least.
"Kevie, I mean, Kevin has really done it this time. I'm serious," Brittany squeaked from across the table.
"I can't disagree with you there. He has less brains than a goldfish, much less a woman. Even a cheerleader."
"Ooh, don't even talk about goldfish. You know he took mine out of the bowl to give it air once?"
Before Daria could figure out how Kevin had pulled that off without going up to her room, Jane walked up. "Maybe he was going to take it for a walk," she said with a grin.
"People do that?" Brittany asked, surprised.
"Oh yeah, there's a big market for goldfish walkers. Most of them keep them in the bowl though," Jane continued.
"Thanks, Jane. I'll have to remember that the next time I get a goldfish." Daria chuckled, though not for the usual reason. Brittany was actually a good actress.
There was an awkward silence, broken by Jane asking, "So, what are you guys doing for the project?"
"We're getting an apartment!" Brittany squeaked excitedly.
"Cool, we're gonna buy a car. Kevin's out getting some money out of his bank account," Jane explained.
Daria looked at Jane skeptically, "Why does he need real money to pretend to buy a car?"
Jane shrugged and said, "No clue. Should be entertaining though."
"This just proves that I am possessed of a superior intelligence than that buffoon," Brittany interjected haughtily.
"Um, yeah," Jane said, "Do you mind if I sit down with you guys?"
Daria looked down at her half-eaten pizza. "Actually, we were just leaving. Right, Brittany?"
"Um, yeah. You can have the booth though," Brittany said, smiling vacantly.
Jane gave Daria a quick regretful look. "Gee thanks."
After they had cleared the door, Brittany, still using her bimbo voice, asked, "Is there, like, something wrong with you and Jane?"
Daria sighed. "It's nothing. She's been spending a lot of time with her new boyfriend and talking about him nonstop."
"Jane has a boyfriend?" Brittany asked in her normal voice, sounding legitimately surprised.
Daria raised an eyebrow, but continued the conversation normally, "Yeah, some slumming rich kid named Tom. I don't know what she sees in him."
Quickly recovering her bubbly persona, Brittany asked, "Well, if you're not going to be hanging out with Jane, do you want to come over to my house and watch a movie after we check out these apartments?"
Daria took a moment to think. She didn't have anything better to do, but if she was being honest with herself that wasn't why she was considering going. She actually wanted to spend time with Brittany. She was fun to hang out with. "Um, sure," she eventually said, "What do you want to watch?"
No one was home at the Taylor's. Brittany said it happened a lot. Her father had work, Ashley Amber was at the club socializing with the other second and third wives, and Brian disappeared somewhere to do things no one wanted to think about. The end result of all of this was Daria and Brittany being able to use the large state of the art entertainment system downstairs instead of the tiny TV in Brittany's room.
Sinking into the leather couch, Daria groaned and said, "Your dad may have terrible taste, but he has great stuff."
Bending over to look through a cabinet full of DVDs, Brittany asked, "You like horror stuff, right?"
"Yeah," Daria responded, "How do you know that?"
Apparently having found what she was looking for, Brittany stood up and put it in the DVD player. "Sometimes I overhear you and Jane talking. You ready?"
"Rarin'," Daria said flatly.
"Great!" Brittany said, turning off the lights and sitting down next to Daria.
The movie was fun. Brittany didn't complain about her providing a snarky running commentary, and even joined in a few times. It was almost like hanging out with Jane, except Jane didn't jump on her every time something frightening happened. After one particularly long grab, Daria finally decided to stop the movie.
Looking down at Brittany, who was still lightly clinging to her, she said, "You don't do very well with jump scares, do you?"
"I'm enjoying them," Brittany said, smiling.
"I suppose getting scared is the point of a horror movie," Daria ceded.
"That's not what I meant." Brittany detached herself from Daria, and turned to face her. "I feel like I need to make this clear. I like you, as more than a friend."
"What?" Daria's world seemed to tilt.
"You're smart, Daria, but you're really oblivious about some things. I pretty much took you on a date last night and I've literally been throwing myself at you for the past hour. I told you in my room yesterday. I've liked you for a long time, I just never said anything because I thought you were with Jane."
"But Jane and I were never—" Daria protested.
"Yeah, the fact that she has a boyfriend tipped me off. That would have been nice to know a year ago."
"You're saying you've liked me for a year? Alright where are the cameras?"
"Is it that hard to believe?" Brittany took Daria's hand. "You're the smartest, coolest, funniest person I know. You never let anyone else tell you what to do and you never back down once you've made up your mind. Why wouldn't I want to be with you?"
Daria looked down to hide her blush. "Look, I'm flattered, but this is a lot to take in. Two days ago I thought you were a walking blowup doll and now…"
"Now, what?"
Daria looked up at Brittany. "Now I know you're this cool girl who actually reads and is funny in a different way than Jane and—" Daria stopped as Brittany gently cupped her cheek and kissed her. She closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, sparks shooting through her body, until some rational part of her brain made her push Brittany away. Blushing furiously she stared at Brittany, pain and anger in her eyes. "What the hell?"
Horror spread across Brittany's face. "I'm sorry. I thought—"
"I tell you it's a lot to take in and you jump on me?" Daria stood up, angrily grabbing her bag. "Don't you have a boyfriend for that?" Daria hurried out and closed the door before Brittany could see her tears start to fall.
Daria stared up the walk to the Lane's, wondering how she ended up there. The walk back from Crewe Neck was a blur. She supposed her subconscious was trying to tell her something and decided she should listen. Reluctantly, she walked up to the door and knocked. After the usual minute wait Trent answered the door.
"Hey, Daria. Whoa, are you okay?"
"I'll live," Daria replied, more sullen than she'd intended, "Is Jane home?"
"Uh, Yeah, she's in her room," Trent said and gave her one last long look before heading into the kitchen.
Daria walked up the stairs and knocked on Jane's door. She could hear Jane talking to someone as she approached the door. "Yeah, just pick me up in thirty minutes. Alright, see you then." The door swung open and Jane looked at Daria in surprise.
"Hey," Daria said awkwardly.
Jane held up a finger. "Hold that thought." She hit speed dial on the phone and put it to her ear. When the other side picked up, she said, "Yeah, Tom? I'm not going to be able to make it." She paused while Tom said something. "No, I'm fine. I just forgot I had to help Trent with something." Another pause. "Okay, I'll see you later. Bye."
"You didn't have to do that, I could have just come back."
Jane laughed as she walked into her room and started searching for something in the perpetual mess. "I'm pretty sure talking to my best friend after she's had her first kiss and cried her eyes out is more important than a movie date."
"How—"
"The lipstick and red eyes are a dead giveaway," Jane said, handing Daria what she'd been digging for, a bizarrely decorated hand mirror.
Daria's whole body flushed when she saw the pink smear across her lips. She walked over and collapsed on Jane's bed. "Oh good, I always wanted half the town to know I was a lesbian."
Jane settled into her chair and looked over at her friend on the bed. "So, what happened? From the beginning."
"Well, the leading theory is that the universe expanded—"
Jane smiled and wagged her finger at her friend. "None of your fancy science. You came here to talk, so spill."
"Alright." Daria folded her hands over her stomach and stared at the ceiling. "I met a girl named… Alice a few days ago. We started hanging out and she was surprisingly cool. She reads a lot and she loves theatre. She took me to this cool play in a little theater downtown."
"Hold on a minute," Jane said, "She took you to a play, like she paid for it?"
"She already had the tickets," Daria said defensively.
"Uh-huh, and did she take you out for dinner?"
"She owed me for something she did earlier," Daria said, starting to realize how ridiculous she sounded.
Jane threw her arms up in celebration. "You went on a date!"
"Oh, God. I did, didn't I?"
"Yup, and from the sound of it you didn't even realize it."
"She was right, I am oblivious."
Jane leaned forwards, chin resting on her hands, and asked, "So what happened next?"
"We hung out at her place today, watching a movie. She kept clinging to me at all the 'scary' parts, so I stopped the movie and asked her what was up. She said she liked me. She started saying all these nice things about me and I didn't know what to do. I told her I was overwhelmed. I said I thought she was cool and funny and fun to be around but I didn't know what to do, and then she kissed me. Then I freaked out and yelled at her and ran away."
Silence hung in the air until Jane asked, "Did you like it?" Daria rolled her head over to glare at Jane. "What? It's a valid question. Yeah, she shouldn't have kissed you like that, but all I'm hearing from you is how awesome she is. If you're really into her you should try to make this work."
"It's not that simple. She's got a lot going on, this whole other life. I don't know if she'll give it up for me." Daria rolled her head back to stare at the ceiling again. "I don't know if I should ask her to."
A smirk grew on Jane's face. "You didn't answer my question."
Daria sighed. "Fine. Yes, I liked the kiss. It was soft and warm and I wish I hadn't pulled away so quickly."
"You came here, so I assume you want my opinion. I think you should try to make this work. When you talk about her you sound happy, and there's clearly something physical there. I don't know what else is going on with her, but you owe it to yourself to give it a shot."
"I was afraid you'd say that."
"Sorry," Jane said, "Hey, if things work out you can be the one tell me stories about your girlfriend."
Daria sat up and faced her friend. The whole Tom thing seemed so petty now. "I'm sorry about all the stuff with Tom. I've been kind of a bitch lately haven't I?"
Jane waved her hand officiously. "All is forgiven. Now, as ancient tradition dictates, boy-er-girl-er-signifigant other troubles discussed, we shall eat raw cookie dough and watch movies."
"As long as there aren't any jump scares."
Daria stared across the classroom at Brittany for what had to be the hundredth time that day. She didn't look good. Her hair was limp and even Daria could tell her makeup was sloppy. More than that though, she looked sad. Not like when she broke up with Kevin over something, but genuinely depressed.
As the bell rang for lunch, Daria knew what she had to do. She made a quick excuse to Jane and ran after Brittany. When she caught up to her, slightly panting, she said, "Brittany, we need to talk." When people started to stare she added, "About the project." Most of the crowd seemed to accept Brittany screwing up a class project as the norm and shifted their attention elsewhere.
"Um, Daria, right now I kinda—" Brittany started, her bubbly cover act barely there.
"Sorry, this can't wait until after school," Daria said, dragging the cheerleader up the stairs to the roof. Once she'd was sure they were alone, she asked, "Do you have any idea how much anxiety you've caused me?"
Dropping what was left of the act, Brittany said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just thought— It doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I'll talk to Mrs. Benett about the project so you don't have to work with me."
"Brittany, if I didn't want you around, I wouldn't have dragged you up here." Daria started pacing. "Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?" Brittany asked.
"When you said you liked me."
"Yes," Brittany answered, a hesitant hope in her voice.
Daria stopped, facing away from Brittany, hoping to hide her blush. "Good, because I think… I think I might like you too. I'd like to try and figure it out, but I can't do that with bubbly brain-dead Brittany. It needs to be the real you. I-I understand if you don't want to, you've got a lot riding on—" Two arms wrapped around Daria and a pleasant pressure exerted itself against her back. "Gah!"
Brittany released her grip and turned Daria around, grabbing her hands. Smiling for the first time that day, she asked, "Did you really think I hadn't thought of that?"
Daria looked away. "I guess I'm still used to your act. Are you sure? I mean, your college, all that money."
"I'll find another way. Honestly, I don't think I could keep this up much longer anyway. The things I've done—" there was a sad, distant look in her eyes "—I should have stopped a long time ago. Are you sure?"
Daria looked back up at Brittany. "I am, at least I'm willing to try."
"Trying sounds good," Brittany said, putting her arm around Daria and pulling her into a kiss.
Hello,
This one came from an Iron Chef write-off Judged by tafka. She asked us to "...take Daria and realistically and canonically develop a romance between her and another character from the show...".
I didn't want to do something obvious and after that I narrowed things down to Brittany. At that point, the story just took me and ran with me. It pretty much wrote itself.
There's a distant sequel to this (think college juniors), but this site doesn't like the format. The fic in question's name is "Distance". You can find it on my AO3 account under the same name.
Reviews are appreciated, but just reading is fine too. I hope you enjoyed it.
