Hi everyone! I know it's been a while since I posted, but I left for the summer without my laptop, so...

Okay, so this story is dark. I was watching a show on TV and was appalled that it was based on a true story. After some thinking, I decided to write a story about sexual abuse the way I picture it, because some of the stories I searched here depicted it as lemon and I don't think I'm comfortable with that. It's not the same. I tried to be as realistic as possible, not just describing the act, but the feelings of the victim, too. Downplaying it felt wrong, if not insulting to people out there with similar stories to share. However, I understand this is a very sensitive subject and never meant any disrespect. I've marked the places the scene begins and ends so you can skip it if you don't feel comfortable reading it.

Inspiration: A Greek series, "Η 10η ΕΝΤΟΛΗ" (The Tenth Commandment)

Diclaimer: SM owns Twilight

Enjoy!


She sighs and sits down on the boulder, dragging her hair away from her face hastily. She doesn't bother to cover the bruise on her wrist with her sleeve, even when she feels his eyes on her frail hand. She knows what she looks like. She knows her hair is knotted, that her cheeks are hollow, that her eye has a faint yellow shadow, that her skin is pale, that her mother's wedding band is much too loose. She averts her eyes to the six red chrysanthemums she had planted on the edge of the meadow; a flower for every person she had loved but lost. Strangely enough, he hasn't pressured her yet for the questions that had obviously arisen in him. But she needs to tell someone. She needs to get everything off her chest, even if he goes away again.

"It was two months after my 18th birthday. My Dad didn't know how to make me come around. I know I had scared him, but at the moment I couldn't get myself to care. It was too much. Or so I thought. It felt like the world had come to an end. He thought that every girl needs her mother after having her heart broken for the first time. So, he swallowed his pride and invited my mom and Phil to Forks. He did it for me." Her voice breaks and she wipes a stray tear. "It was so sudden. One moment he was taking Renée and Phil back to the airport, the other he was losing control of his car, hitting a spot of black ice. And I was so… scared…"

Flashback

"Honey, I know you loved him, but he's gone now," Renée smiled at me one last time and got up from my bed. It was time for her to leave. I was a bit conflicted about her departure. All I wanted was to be left alone, but her being here was different. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed her. Her hugs, her arms, her very gaze is different. It was… motherly. I had only seen that adoring look on Esme, when she was around her children. "I'm not saying that your feelings were foolish or not strong. I'm not saying he didn't love you back. I saw how he cared for you at the hospital in Phoenix. But people change, baby," she smiled sympathetically and cupped my cheek.

"Why would he leave like that, though? Didn't I deserve a proper explanation?" I whispered and let my guard down in front of the only person I was not embarrassed to.

"As I said, it was easy for anyone to see that he adored you. It was probably even harder for him to say goodbye, since he was the one leaving. He was only protecting himself," she explained and pulled me into a tight hug. "But your life is far from over. You'll graduate and go to college and meat the hottest football player ever. And he will know how to use a hairbrush," she teased. It was the worst joke ever, given the circumstances, but I couldn't help laughing through my nose lightly. She was right, after all.

"As long as he knows what a book is," I continued and she chuckled. Before she met Phil, she thought being a sports' player in college was a ladder step higher than working at McDonalds. Only dummies use so much muscle, because they lack in brains, she had told me once.

"Exactly. I have to go now. Promise me you'll take care of yourself, baby, please. And I hope I don't need to tell you that you're welcome to visit whenever you want, yes?"

"Thanks for coming, mom. I really needed that," I said quietly and willed my tears to stay where they are.

"Oh, baby, I'll always be there for you, hunky football player or not," she cooed and hugged me again, stroking my hair. She placed my head in the crook of her neck and swayed as if she was holding a baby. Did she change her shampoo?

"Renée, time to hit the road," Charlie hollered from the living room. She took my hand gently and led me out of the room and into the living room where her bags were already waiting, hugging one last time.

"You'll visit on Christmas, right?" she smiled expectantly.

"I don't know. Dad promised we'd build a snowman," I joked and threw a wink over at Dad.

"Sure thing, baby girl," he snorted like he found the notion ridiculous, but everyone saw the twitch of his moustache. Perhaps a snow fight would serve him right.

"Don't I get a proper goodbye?" Phil asked and tilted his head to the side. I went over and hugged him, too.

"Take care of her," I punched his arm.

"Aye-aye, Captain. Renée, come on," he nodded and swung a duffle bag over his shoulder, heading outside.

"Phil! You'll wrinkle the clothes! I finally learnt how to use an iron and that's how you repay me? Ugh," she groaned and threw her hands up in the air. "Men," she shook her head and exited the house.

"I'll be back in a few hours, yeah?" Charlie grabbed his keys and ruffled my hair.

"What should I cook?" I caught him before he was out the door.

"Don't worry about it. I'll bring back something. See you, kid," he saluted me and left.

Not knowing what else to do, I went upstairs and snuggled under the covers with my sweatpants, tank and favorite book. I thought Jane Austen would be enough to distract me from the painful reality. Little did I know, it was about to get unbearable.

The landline rang about forty minutes later, but I chose to ignore it. If it was for me, they'd call my cell phone. Not that anyone called me. I had withdrawn from everyone. Another forty minutes after that, someone rang the bell.

"Where's the fire?" I mumbled and trudged downstairs, making sure I was decent. When I opened the door, I was met with a familiar though unexpected face, frowning down at me.

"Officer Glenn? Um, Dad's out, if you're looking for him. I'd tell you to come in, but he'll be late," I grimace, trying to look like I have at least one emotion.

"Isabella," he sighs and takes his cap off, rubbing at his buzz cut hair. For some odd reason, he looked exhausted. We matched. "May I come in? I'd like to talk to you. I tried to call, but…" he trailed off.

"Come in. And it's 'Bella'," I mumbled and stepped to the side to let him through. He strode over to the couch and sat on the one end, leaving me space on the other.

"Bella, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but I have to inform you of an accident your parents and stepfather were involved in," he started and rubbed his eyes. My gut was trying to tell me something, though my brain wasn't catching up. It was refusing to. "Um, I was on duty and the first to arrive on the scene. Apparently, Chief Swan lost control of the vehicle and hit a tree, just outside the town's borders. Again, I'm very sorry, Bella," he pursed his lips and placed his beefy hand over mine.

"Okay, um, where do they have them now? Are they in the hospital? Are you here to take me there?" I asked numbly and tried to get up and get my shoes.

"No, Bella," he shook his head and I'd swear his lip trembled.

"Oh, they're free to go? Are they on their way back? Or is Dad still taking Mom and Phil to the airport?" I continued stubbornly. It would have been much easier if there wasn't this lump in my throat choking me.

"I need you to be brave, Bella. Your parents… they're not coming back," he shook his head. "They're gone, honey. I'm sorry. They died instantly."

"But he was supposed to bring back take-out," I whimpered. "He said he'd be back in a few hours," I whispered and stopped holding my tears back, sobbing into my hands. I didn't care that I sounded ridiculous. I didn't care that there was someone in the room with me. I cried.

How can a world exist without Mom's made-up recipes? Without Dad's loud games on the TV? Without Phil's baseball cap thrown all over the place? The notion seemed absurd. It didn't make sense at all. Once more, the world stopped making sense. No, no, no, there must be an explanation, it can't be true.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Officer Glenn sighed and rubbed my back, aiming to sooth. "Your father was one of the best colleagues I'd ever had the pleasure to work with."

"But he's not gone," I cried. "They can't be gone. If they're gone, then I'm all alone," I sobbed and dropped my head on my knees, curling into a little ball.

The hole in my chest that Mom's visit had barely sealed was ripped open with sandpaper and covered with salt and brimstone, gashing, never to be stitched closed again. Would the pain ever stop? What had I done to deserve this? What kind of sin had I committed that warranted such pain? How much more was I supposed to take before I broke into tiny little pieces?

~*~TMA~*~

"Someone, I don't know who, alerted Billy and he came over with Jacob to stay with me until I calmed down. I was hysterical. I had no one. Legally, I was already an adult, I didn't need a guardian. I was left alone," she shakes her head and picks at an invisible thread on her jeans. "I'm not going to go into details, but 'suicidal' or 'depressed' are not words strong enough to describe how I felt. The proverbial rug had been torn from beneath my feet and I had nothing to hold onto," she stares off. "After their funeral, Billy approached me and announced that he wouldn't have his brother's daughter sleeping in an empty house and asked me to move in with them. Scared and lost as I was, I accepted Billy and Jake's invitation without a second thought. I wouldn't receive any money from Charlie for a while anyway and working at the Newton's wasn't enough. So, I moved to the rez. I moved in with my new, little family.

"And everything was okay… for a while. I'd stay with them; keep the house clean and the oven warm. In return, I had a family again. A small family, but a family nonetheless. I still went to and graduated from Forks High School, though. I wanted to have some sort of contact with the town I lived in while my father was alive, I guess. The rez isn't the same as Forks. It's close, but it's like its own little country, a little realm within a free country. It has its own rules, its own laws and its own arrest-worthy crimes and the FPD has no say. And its king is Jacob. He declared himself as king when he phased for the first time, when he took over from Sam as the Alpha. When he realized he could control everyone, when he started exploiting the fact that Forks Police Department couldn't intervene. No one could intervene. The rez was a realm on its own and Jacob was King." She spreads her fingers out before her and starts playing with the wedding band, ignoring the fading bruise on her wrist.

"First, his behavior changed. He was snapping at everyone, always angry, always on edge. Then his physique changed. He grew taller, bigger, stronger. Lastly, his health changed. He had fever all the time, it seemed. One day, Sam and Paul came in and swept my Jake away forever."

Flashback

"Billy? Bella? Open up!" Sam yelled and pounded on our door.

"Bella?" Jacob mumbled and his head lolled to the side as he shivered. I shushed him and placed a wet rug on his forehead. I didn't know what else to do and Billy was out. Sam had ordered him to keep Jake at home and no one disobeyed the Alpha, werewolf or not. Sometimes, it was still hard for me to believe it; werewolves existed among us, too, and a whole reservation knew about them, respected them like something cherished, sacred.

I had no complaints; Sam was a good leader, a nice guy, an even better friend and the sweetest marshmallow when Emily was around. But I was afraid what his arrival meant for Jake. I was afraid I'd lose him.

"Don't worry about him. Just try to rest. I'll go see what he wants, okay?" I murmured and dipped to kiss his burning forehead. If his fever didn't go down by tonight, I'd carry him to the hospital myself if I had to. I would not lose another to something as stupid as a fever.

I ripped the door open to come face to chest with Sam. Quileute boys were way too big. They kind of reminded me of Emmett.

"What is it, Samuel Black? Is it not enough that you won't let Billy take poor Jake to the hospital? Now you're disturbing his sleep!" I reprimanded.

"Didn't 'poor Jake' almost backhand you in front of everyone at the bonfire the other day?" Paul mocked me and I flinched, remembering the incident, but composed myself quickly. Besides, everyone would feel frustrated if he had a fever and wasn't allowed to go to the hospital.

"What do you want?" I sighed and pulled my ponytail tighter, wiping my forehead.

"How high is his fever?" Sam asked and went through the front door, heading to Jacob's bedroom.

"Too high," I followed him. "But I don't know exactly. The thermometer must have broken, it shows 48oC. That kind of temperature is inhuman," I shook my head.

"Bingo," Paul teased and swung one of Jacob's arms over his head, lifting him up. "You're catching up, Little Swan. Now, we're getting somewhere." I thought back to what I said and a gasp left my lips. That kind of temperature is inhuman.

"Open the front door for us. He can't be around people when it happens for the first time, he'll be too unstable," Sam ordered.

"Is he going to phase?" I asked quietly and watched as they got Jake in the backseat of Jared's truck.

"Most likely tonight. It'd be dangerous for both you and Billy if that was to happen around you. He'll be too dangerous for you," he explained, his hard, brown eyes calming a little.

"And when he does what happens?" I pressed anxiously.

"He'll be disoriented, a bit angry, a bit hungry. And then I'll have to hand him over the reins, so to speak. He descends from a Chief; he's the rightful Alpha of the pack."

"But he'll be all right?"

"Jake's coming back, Bella. Don't worry," were his parting words and he ran to the truck.

~*~TMA~*~

"He came back two days later. But despite Sam's promise, Jake wasn't Jake anymore, he was Jacob Ephraim Black. Leader of the pack. He was a completely different person. Serious, strong, arrogant, fearsome. He walked back inside the house and I was afraid of him. Sam trotted behind him and when he passed me he mouthed 'I'm sorry'. I didn't realize why. I would soon enough."

Flashback

"Bella? Bella!" Jacob yelled as soon as he entered the house. Ever since he phased and was officially a werewolf, he changed. A lot. His mood swings were worse than ever and even though I realized that suddenly being in charge of a growing pack is no easy job, I couldn't help feeling like I had lost my best friend forever. Now I feared him. I always tried to make myself as small as possible. It didn't work.

"In the kitchen," I answered him, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. I heard him enter the room but kept my eyes trained on the saucepan.

"God, if I hear about how amazing Emily is one more time through Sam's thoughts, I'll puke," he rolled his eyes and I laughed through my nose. I kept my eyes on the saucepan. I didn't see how his gaze turned into a glare.

"Still cooking?" he asked.

"I'm going for lasagna. It was Charlie's favorite," I explained but cut myself off when Jacob kicked the kitchen chair, sending it fly across the floor.

"And what am I supposed to eat now, huh?" he roared, towering over me. In the last few months, I had lost more weight than I cared to admit; he could easily snap me like a toothpick.

"The fridge is full, Jake. I make sure of that. Besides, I wasn't expecting you home so early. Billy's still gone. If I'd known you'd be here, I would've started cooking earlier," I argued, trying to calm him down.

"Oh, I'm sorry I decided to come to my house when I please. You're the guest here, Bella, don't forget that."

"You're being mean and you know it," I took a deep breath. "There are some leftover beans in the fridge. I can heat them up for you if you want."

"You know I hate beans. Are you trying to piss me off on purpose? You eat them! Make yourself useful and fix me something!"

"Don't yell at me like that!" I exploded. "I'm not your slave. If you're hungry, make a sandwich. If you're pissed, build a bridge and get over-"

SMACK!

The sound of skin meeting skin echoed throughout the small room when Jacob raised his hand and slapped me across the cheek. Completely unprepared for it as I was, I lost my balance and fell to my knees on the floor, palming my sore cheek shocked.

"What did you do?" I whispered. My brain refused to register what had just happened.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Jacob said softly and crouched in front me. "I shouldn't have done that." He extended his hand as if to help me up but pulled it back and slapped me on the other cheek, too, leaving a palm shaped bruise. "Maybe that's what you needed. I'm sorry I mixed up the cheeks. Now I know which one gets you going. Get the fuck up now!" he screamed and stormed out of the kitchen.

I stayed where I was for a few seconds. My whole body was shaking. My breathing was quick, shallow. I could taste the coppery taste of blood in my mouth. What just happened? Did Jacob really hit me? Slowly, everything sank in and sob after sob broke through my lips as tears over flooded my eyes.

There was a commotion outside and a door slammed shut, followed by a loud, animalistic half-growl, half-howl.

"Oh, my sweet child," Billy whispered when he saw me on the floor. I couldn't imagine what I could possibly look like. On the floor, shocked, red faced, weak. He leaned over his wheelchair and tried to help me into one of the kitchen chairs. He took the saucepan off the fire and wetted a hand towel with ice-cold water, pressing it against my face gently. I remained still, tears streaming leisurely down my cheeks and lips.

~*~TMA~*~

"I had never been hit before. I had had my fair share of injuries during my childhood and being trapped with James in the ballet studio introduced me to a whole new kind of pain, but I had never been hit. Never.

"Every time he'd get angry, he'd beat me and every time he'd regret it he'd come to apologize. But eventually the apologies stopped. The beatings didn't. And eventually I stopped resisting. I stopped trying to reason with him, to calm him down, because I knew that at the end of the day, I would go to bed bruised any way. Still, though, I was somehow hoping that he'd stop. I wanted run away, but then I felt guilty. I thought that he was merely seventeen with too much weight on his shoulders and he needed an outlet. I was hoping that he'd find his perfect balance and go back to his former self. Until one day I stopped hoping. I stopped believing I deserved it. He made sure of that. He made sure that I feel worthless, dirty for the rest of my life."

Flashback

"Jake? Jake, I'm home," I called out to the seemingly empty house. I knew for a fact that Billy would still be at the Clearwaters'. Harry had very recently passed away, leaving a shattered wife and two teenagers behind. I could relate to both Leah and Seth, but I only hung out with the latter. When I lost my parents, I dealt with the pain by closing in on myself. Leah was dealing with it by being angry.

I took tentative steps to the center of the living room and dropped my purse in the armchair, followed by my shoes beside the coffee table.

"Ah, finally, Bella. I thought you'd never make it home," Jacob suddenly said from behind me, making me jump.

"Christ, Jake," I sighed, placing a hand on my chest. "You scared ne."

"Where were you?" he asked and raised his hand to my cheek. I immediately tensed. He could hurt me very easily. "You're late."

"Um, I went to visit my parents' graves," I said nervously, smoothing a hand over my dark blue skirt. "And I'm not that late." Leaning a bit closer, I took a sniff of him. "Jake, is that beer I smell on you?" I asked horrified.

"Quil phased for the first time today. Thought we'd celebrate, have a cold one." He smiled cockily. "Who's gonna stop me, huh?" he pushed me back. "No one can touch me, Bella," he growled. "No one can touch the Alpha."

"Of course. I didn't doubt your authority. But being the Alpha doesn't erase the fact that your system is still virgin. You're not used to drinking." Hopefully, his metabolism would get rid of the alcohol quickly, or else I was in for a long night of whining and bitching about headaches.

"Oh, I'm fairly aware of how virgin we both are. But I'm planning on changing this status. Fuck, you smell so good," he groaned and slammed his lips to mine forcefully, painfully, before I had time to even think let alone react, squeezing my jaw to open my mouth. Once my brain caught up with my limbs, I tried to push him away. No matter how long it was or would be, I'd always want ice cold lips instead of scorching hot ones on mine. Edward's lips were soothing. Jacob's were now burning me. He ignored my fists banging on his chest with all their might and wrapped his beefy arm around me while his other weaved itself with my hair at the base of my neck, keeping my head in place. The more I pushed against him, the more aggressive he became. Until he snapped.

*Warning begins here*

"Stop resisting!" he barked and punched me in the face. I staggered backwards, nearly falling. Before I could though, he grabbed me roughly and dragged me to his bedroom.

He slammed me against the wall so hard my back hurt and buried his face in my neck. His left hand made sure no one heard my screeches and pleas for him to stop while the other traveled roughly underneath my black button-down blouse. My nails scratched desperately at his forearms and I used my naked feet to kick him, but to no avail. If anything, he seemed even more enraged.

"What did you do?" he yelled and slapped me quickly three times in succession. "Are you defying me, the Alpha? You don't get to have that right, Bella! You're mine," he growled and encircled my neck with his large hand as the other kept touching me painfully, my blouse now shredded, my bra-clad chest exposed.

"No, Jake, I'm begging you, please," I cried weakly, blood running from my nose. "Please, don't do this. Don't do this to me. Look at me, it's me, Bella," I tried to make him change his mind.

"Oh, I know exactly who you are," he seethed and ripped my bra off, the fabric snapping against my skin harshly, making me whimper in pain. He pushed me forcefully backwards on the bed and climbed over me securing me in place.

"And I know that I've wanted you for far too long. I don't have to wait anymore," he grinned cockily and pinned my wrists above my head with one hand. "I can do whatever I fucking want," he roared and kissed me again, his tongue invading my mouth, his fingers bruising the sensitive skin of my breasts.

I tried to liberate my hands from his grip and wiggle free when I felt his teeth piercing my skin, marking my neck, leaving a scar. I cried out in surprise and pain, but he just chuckled and unbuckled his shorts, while I cupped my wound tenderly and twisted my upper body so I was lying on my side.

"What is it, Bella? I thought you love biters. Too bad Edward's not coming back. But I'm here," he whispered and dropped his weight on me, making it difficult for me to breathe. Danger alarms went off in my head and in my pain-induced haze I became hyperaware of… everything. My wrists were throbbing from his vice like grip, my hair roots ached from his pulling, my neck pulsed from his bite and my face felt swollen, my cheeks burned, my mouth was dry.

I didn't like this. I didn't like his naked chest on mine, my sore breasts rubbing against something as hard as him. His hands felt disgusting on my ribs and hips as I pushed against his shoulders meekly and his knee was now trying to pry mine apart.

"No, Jacob, please, stop! Stop!" I sobbed and tried harder, with as much strength I had left. I'd rather be with Mom and Dad than here. How did I come to hate my best friend so much in so little time? Why did he have to change? And where was my Edward now to save me? I needed him. He had promised he would always protect me. Where was he now?

In response to my resistance, Jacob squeezed my ribs with inhuman strength until I was sure at least one of them was bruised and I was left gasping for oxygen. My body went limp with the effort to regain breath and he found his chance to tear my legs open and fit himself between my thighs before I could close them again.

"See how good we fit together? Fuck, I want you," he panted against my breasts and restrained my hands again while tearing my plain white panties off and bunching my pleated skirt up to my midsection. Without permission, he brought his fingers to my core and probed, stretched and thrust painfully while his mouth swallowed my screams of pain, disgust and unwillingness. I'm not sure what he was searching for so urgently, but he was pissed he couldn't find it.

"What the fuck do I have to do to make you like me? What? Fucking what? You're not even a little wet!" he growled and rubbed my bundle of nerves with his calloused thumb, until I thought he'd tear the skin off.

"Jacob, please, stop," I mumbled, my words garbled. I placed my palms flat on his chest and pressed as hard as I could, my hips trying to buck him off me.

"Oh, my baby's impatient I see. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you," he crooned and suddenly his fingers were roughly pulled from inside me. Before I had time to rejoice in the immense relief, there was something even larger and definitely harder pushing against my opening. I started crying hysterically.

"NO! NO! Jacob, please! PLEASE! STOP, PLEASE!" I screamed so loudly my throat felt scratched from the inside, but no matter how loudly I screamed, it wasn't loud enough.

He held me down by my throat and hands and pushed inside me harshly, swiftly, painfully, tearing me open, making me bleed my innocence, swiping away everything I still liked even a little bit about myself.

The game was over. I turned my face to the side, as far away from him as I could get. There was nothing I could do but lie there limply, crying, sobbing, waiting for him to finish using me as he groaned and grunted in my ear, his hot breath fanning over my aching face.

His lips were sucking a hickey on the side of my collarbone and his harsh hands squeezed every part of me, my arms, my breasts, my nipples, my ribs, my hips, my buttocks, my thighs, my core, leaving bruises and no clean spot on me behind.

His hips were slamming against my pelvis vehemently, pushing me into the mattress more and more, hurting me, burning me with every thrust. His movements were excruciating, tearing me in half, ripping me in pieces. In and out, in and out he drove, until I could feel nothing but the pain of him forcing, digging his way inside me, far beyond my breaking point.

And still, as I cried into my hands and listened to him groaning my name and marking my neck with bites, all I could think of was Edward. How he wasn't here to save me from the only creature in the world whose sole purpose was to protect humans. Jacob's kind existed to protect me. Not hurt me like this.

Somewhere in the distance, Billy's enraged cries could be heard across the house. I hadn't realized Jacob locked the door when I came back. He screamed and banged on the front door for Jacob to let him in, to stop what he was doing before he regretted it or hurt me too badly, but I couldn't focus on him for more than a few seconds, before absolute agony overtook me and dragged me under again.

"Fuck, Bella, so good," Jacob moaned and grabbed my hips, digging his fingers in my flesh, and forced me onto him harder and faster than before as he kneeled on the bed. He pushed and pulled me like a ragdoll as he pleased, so much stronger as he was, and expected me not to shatter.

I just sobbed and cried out from the unbearable pain in time with his thrusts and shoves in my bleeding core, listening to my own heartbeat rushing in my ears. Where are you? Please, Edward, it hurts so much…

Without warning, Jacob punched my jaw with so much force a crack resounded in the small bedroom and I thought my face broke in splinters.

"I'm here Bella, loving you, and all you think of is him?" he screeched and I realized I had voiced my thought. "You ungrateful little bitch!" he growled and pressed his forearm against my throat, choking me, as his fist pounded on my body, the rhythm of his thrusting hips never faltering.

He didn't miss a spot, plowing his fist into my face, stomach and ribs, all the while squeezing my throat. My hands flew to my neck, trying to get him to loosen his grip, to stop him from crushing my esophagus. His hands returned to holding my sides and I both heard and felt him release at the same time the front door was broken down. Sam breaking into the small room was the last thing I saw before I passed out.

*Warning stops here*

~*~TMA~*~

"I woke up two days later. I was... a mess," she sighs and rubs her temple. "I was alone in the room. Everything hurt. Everywhere, there wasn't a spot on me that didn't feel shattered. I wanted to call out for help, but I couldn't. My throat felt hoarse, sore. I tried to get off the bed, but I was drained. That's when I heard Billy talking outside the room with someone, but it wasn't very clear. Apparently, Jacob had arranged to bring a doctor from another tribe in Washington, the Makah. There's an understanding between tribes and leaders and the doctor was sworn by both Alphas to secrecy."

Flashback

"Sorry I couldn't make it here sooner…"

"I'm just glad you're here, Arianna…"

"The Alpha told me the patient's case is to be swept under the rag..."

"Jacob ran..."

"For the best..."

"What did he do to her...?"

"Bleeding… Black eye… Sprained wrist… Split lip… Multiple bites on neck and chest… Bruised ribs Finger prints around neckLooks like he almost suffocated her… Bed rest... One more thing..."

~*~TMA~*~

"I allowed myself to stop fighting and go back to sleep, thinking I had heard any important information. But as it turned out, I relaxed too soon..."

Flashback

"Hello, Bella. I'm Dr. Arianna Kingbird," a short, Native woman greeted me softly when she entered the room. It hurt too much to respond, so I just nodded lightly and focused on breathing regularly. Knowing that said Dr. Kingbird had seen me naked, touched me, examined me and washed me, I was more than relieved to find out she was a woman. The only males I could tolerate around me right now were Billy, Sam and Seth, which I saw as saviors. "Bella, do you remember what happened to you?" she asked and offered me some water.

"Jacob," I croaked, my voice weird from not using it. "Why am I not in the hospital?" I rasped, though my jaw was killing me. "It hurts…"

"Um, Mr. Black and my tribe's Alpha were both all for complete discretion," she answered politely. Of course, Jacob would never let this get out of the Rez's borders.

"Look, I know you can't talk right now. I want to go through your... wounds with you and tell how to take care of them, but there's something we need to discuss first. Honey," she paused for a second, "look, I drew some blood to test you for possible diseases and whatnot. The results all came back negative, which means you're clean. However, the tests also showed that after the... incident, you conceived. You're pregnant, Bella."

~*~TMA~*~

"I think she had to sedate me," she muses. "I was in hysterics. I couldn't believe it. I had never thought of myself as a mother and now I was expected to have his child inside me? I already felt dirty enough. I didn't want any reminders on me, let alone in me, especially when he was gone. When I woke up, I found Billy holding onto a wooden owl and apologizing to Charlie. I don't know why, but... I found myself having the cliché revelation that the baby can't help how it came to be and so on," she shakes her head and looks down, smiling wistfully.

"Those were the best days I had in a long time. It was just me and Billy –and of course, Seth. After the first shock, I felt great," she frowns in disbelief. "Yes, I was in a great deal of pain at first, but when most bruises faded and I was allowed out of the bed..." she trails off. "Jacob was away, Billy treated more fatherly than ever before and Seth had practically moved in with us. He felt guilty that he didn't stop Jacob. They were constantly asking me if I was tired or if I needed anything and they made sure I didn't lift a finger. It was like having Dad around, when I had returned from the hospital in Arizona. I was even connecting with the baby, getting used to it. It wasn't ideal, but I hadn't felt that happy, carefree in ages. I should have known it wouldn't last."

Flashback

"Bella? Is everything okay?" Billy asked concerned when he saw me clutching my belly. Considering it happened in early March and it's late April now, I've been pregnant for two months and I don't remember feeling anything similar to this.

"I'm fine," I said and sat down carefully. It didn't hurt as much when I made gentle movements. If this continued, I'd ask Sam and Emily to drive me to the hospital. Or at the very least, I'd call Arianna. "I'm just nervous, I guess." Not exactly. More like terrified. According to Paul, Jacob would be back any minute and my bruises had barely faded. I feared the second he'd lay his eyes on me.

As if on cue, yells and howls resounded from the porch and the front door slammed open, making me jump and then clutch my belly in pain.

"Bells?" he called as he entered, followed by the whole pack. When he spotted me, he dropped to his knees in front of me on the couch, completely oblivious to my shaking. "Christ, baby, I'm so sorry," he exhaled and touched my face gingerly with his calloused fingers. "I know what I did was terrible, but I promise it'll never happen again."

"Jacob," I tried to object but he paid me no mind.

"Shhh. I love you so much," he groaned and hugged me to him tightly, picking me up and off the floor, before any of the boys could stop him.

A sharp jolt of pain shot through my abdomen and I bent forward in pain as shouts went off.

"Jacob, no!" Billy yelled.

"Put her down, you bastard!" Sam pounced on Jacob while Seth ran to catch me before I collapsed on the floor.

Billy was yelling, Paul was calling an ambulance, Jacob was panicking as Sam explained my "condition" to him, Seth was holding me tightly, trying to calm both me and himself down and Jared had to leave the room, because he's bothered by blood. And I was bleeding, heavily.

"Shhh, it's gonna be okay, Bellsy," he cooed and rubbed my back soothingly as I cried and whimpered in agony. There was just so much blood. I didn't need a doctor to tell me. I felt it. I had just lost my baby. And what was left of me went with it…

~*~TMA~*~

She huffs and looks down at her flowers. "Jacob of course blamed me for it. It didn't matter that it was his fault I was so damaged that I couldn't even keep my baby. He just… got angry. Again. That was four months ago," she sighs and wipes her eyes automatically.

"Christ," he exhales brokenly, painfully and falls to his knees in front of her. "Bella, I… Jesus… I'm so sorry, love. I can't even tell you how-" he chokes and buries his face in her knees, gripping her calves.

"Edward, please, don't do that," she whispers and tries to make him raise his head by running her fingers through his hair.

"You're so much stronger than I am," he shakes his head bitterly and cups her face. "Here I am, weak, incapable of staying away, and you… I'm so sorry, love."

"I didn't tell you all this to punish you, Edward. I just wanted you to understand. After you told me why you left and what you've been up to, I felt the need to come clean, too. I didn't want to mislead you. I'm not that girl you left behind anymore. It's been ten months. I've changed too much."

"It doesn't matter to me. Bella, I told you before and I'll tell you again. I love you. I always did. The only reason I left was because I thought you were better off without me. You have to believe me. I love you, Bella. Nothing I've ever said in my life has been truer than that. I love you, I love you, I love you," he leans up and connects their foreheads lovingly.

"And what if you leave again?" she whispers quietly.

"Never. Never, Bella," he answers almost horrified and sat back on his heels, but keeps his hands on her face and swipes his thumbs underneath her slightly wet eyes. "When I go, I want you to come with me. I can't do it without you again, can't you see that?"

"And where would we go?"

"Wherever you want, love."

"I can't leave Billy behind."

"He sounds like he'd rather you were far away from here."

"Jacob will hunt me down."

"I'd like to see him try. The real question is; do you want to come with me? Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, love me again? Give me one chance and I'll swear I'll do anything to win your love. Just tell me, do I still stand a chance?"

"I never stopped," she chokes. "I never stopped loving you," she says and finally lets go, sobbing into her hands.

Without thinking, he pulls her to his lap and wraps his arms around her, as she straddles and holds onto him as if her life depends on it. "Shhh, I've got you, sweetheart, it's gonna be okay, I promise. I'll make it okay, even if it's the last thing I'll ever do."

"Edward," she whimpers and connects their foreheads. "Make it go away."

With trembling hands, she threads her fingers through his hair and pulls him closer. She fears he will pull away like he always used to, but there is no room for hesitation in their reuniting moment. His left hand rests on her hip, slowly encircling her waist and his right hand goes to her cheek, rubbing it softly.

The second their lips touch, they are gone. Bella starts breathing heavily and pulls Edward even closer as she traces his ice cold lips with her wet tongue.

"Bella," he groans and grips her hips lightly, pulling her impossibly closer in return, there is no space left between them. "I love you so much."

"I love you," she whimpers and gasps in unexpected pleasure when he drags his lips to her still sensitive jaw. She buries her face in his neck and pants as he tenderly kisses each and every one of her lingering bruises –recent or not- on the skin of her jaw, neck and collarbone. Some are blue, some are yellow and some are green. All of them will match Jacob's soon, Edward decides. "Make me feel something, please," she mumbles softly against his skin.

"Anything, love."

No words need to be said. They only need each other and now. Picking her up, he lays her down on the grass, never taking his eyes off hers. Her touches are soft and his caresses gentle. He nearly tears her shirt in his hurriedness to get it open, but she doesn't care. A whoosh of air leaves him upon exposing her plaid beige bra and creamy smooth chest. With a single finger, he traces a line from the hollow of her neck to her bellybutton, following the movement with his lips, leaving butterfly kisses.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers.

"Please," she half-pleads and half-moans.

He grins and buries his face in the crook of her neck, kissing her softly, nipping her lightly, teasing her skin. Bella can't help but shudder at the sharp contrast of Jacob and Edward's movements. Ironically, they are similar, but so very differently executed. She can feel Edward's love through every touch over her lightly bruised ribs and stomach, even though she wasn't aware of its existence mere hours ago. She drags her small hands over his chest and starts unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his chiseled chest.

He rips it off, not caring. He hurriedly takes it off and throws it… somewhere. They both chuckle, but it stops quickly when she pulls him up and he covers her body with his. She raises her knees and his fingers quickly undo the button of her jeans easily, dragging it down her legs, along with her underwear.

"Christ…" he breathes out and slams his lips to hers, barely containing his full strength, but he doesn't hurt her in the slightest. Nothing can ruin this moment, their moment. For Edward, this isn't just the greatest moment of his life; he also sees it as his chance to prove to both Bella and himself that this time everything is different. He is in it for the long haul. He would've never pushed their luck that way before. But not now. He won't make that same mistake. He loves Bella more than anything.

The rest of their clothes leave them just as quickly and he settles above her between her thighs, mindful of every tiny movement. How can she seem so strong and fragile at the same time?

"Bella," he says, almost in pain and places his face in her neck.

"You won't hurt me," she whispers in his ear and his head whips up. He doesn't need further encouragement. They both want it, need it so much.

Edward touches his lips to hers softly as he pushes inside her for the first time and they both gasp. He freezes, savoring the moment. Boldly, she wraps her legs around him and pulls him closer. Slowly, he starts moving, never neglecting the rest of her body.

"You're perfect," he whispers and threads their fingers together and over her head, using them as leverage. He kisses her on the lips and she sighs before he seeks her breast, dropping openmouthed kisses on his way. He can't get enough of her. He draws her nipple into his mouth and sucks on it gently, relishing in the sounds he is drawing from her.

He teases her clitoris and sucks on the underside of her breast. Bella gasps at the jolt of electricity shooting through her body and her back arches off the grass instinctively in pleasure. She can't believe this is real. Four hours ago, she dreaded the moment she'd have to go back. Now, nothing else matters. He explained, she explained, he confessed and she admitted. No more drama. She refuses. She just wants to be happy and she knows she can have that with Edward. She wants to have that with Edward. Is that too much?

Every glide Edward made inside her was cleansing, fixing everything he broke, repairing what he destroyed. Gently, sweetly, over and over, until they both get to that sweet release. Their names fell from each other's lips like a prayer, for the first time the pain in her core wasn't painful. She didn't want to let go.

And she didn't.

She stayed wrapped around him, happy to remain oblivious to everything outside their meadow, their perfect, little bubble. Not that she'd ever find Edward complaining. He pulls her to his chest and encloses her with his arms, resting his cheek on top her head, running his fingers up and down her naked back.

"So," he began and kissed her temple, "when do you want to leave?" he asked nonchalantly. "We have about an hour before we have to get going, if we want to make it to the airport in time."

"I should probably stop by the house first," she says, sure he is being sarcastic.

"You can't go back, Bella. You smell like me," he points out.

She props herself up on her elbow to look at him, completely comfortable in her nakedness in front of him. "You're being serious," she states more than asks. "You want us to leave right now? Just the clothes we're wearing?"

"Why not? I have nothing to hold me here and, as much as it pained me to hear about it, neither do you. Let's just leave. Now." He sat up. "A fresh start. You wanted to go to London, right? We can go there. Or not, it doesn't matter. There are no plans. I'm willing to-" he took a deep breath, "I'll even change you if that's what you truly want," he offers and her breath catches. "I'll give you anything. I swear. I just need to take you away from here. As far away as possible."

She closes her eyes and thinks about it. Edward. A chance. The one thing she always wanted. Far away. Away from Jacob. Without saying a word, she puts her clothes back on and looks at her flowers.

Six flowers. Six people. No.

She bends down and uproots the sixth one. I'm not dead anymore.

Finally, she turns back to Edward. "Okay," she smiled simply.


Let me explain something real quick. That comment about Billy holding a wooden owl was put there, because I found online that in Native American mythology, owls symbolise the dead, or the recently departed or something like that. ( . /intro_ ) It's obviously OOC, but if the Quileutes -and not just the shape-shifters- obey the Alpha of the pack like a King, I thought they'd prey holding onto totems instead of crosses. Just saying.

What did you think of it? Liked it? Hated it? It felt weird writing about it, but, I felt the need to do it. Anyway, you know what to do. Hit the Review Button please!

Until next time...

Fairy xoxoxo