First time writing a Rizzles fic, but i'm definitely not new to the Rizzles fandom, i've lost count of how many Rizzoli & Isles fics i've read! Rizzles is definitely going to happen in this just be patient! Maura is a LITTLE OOC in this chapter, you'll understand why once you read!


Chapter 1

She couldn't sleep, she kept tossing and turning, body tangled in the sheets, sweat dripped down her face, is this what she signed up for when she joined the force? When she made detective? No, she wanted to help people, and heck, she was pretty damn good at it too, everyone saw the swagger in the way she walked, the way she worked, the way she presented herself in a male dominated career, Jane Rizzoli was the best detective around and she, was a woman, gone are the times when she would be looked down upon for her gender, gone are the times where she would have to prove herself to others just so they know that she is as good as anyone at this job. And here she was, lying in bed trying to get the images of Hoyt out of her head.

"He's dead Rizzoli, pull yourself together", Jane mumbled to herself, she reached over and checked the time on her phone, 1am, she knew Maura would answer straight away if she called but she didn't want to bother her best friend again, she had woken Maura for most of the week with her nightmares, she was beginning to feel like a burden, like she didn't deserve to be cared about, she would have to find another way of dealing with her nightmares, a way that didn't involve anyone finding out, so she slowly got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen. She wanted Maura, she needed Maura but Maura had gone on a date with Jack 'probably fucking by now though' Jane thought, the image flashed through her head and her hands clenched in anger, of someone touching Maura, someone being inside her, getting to know her body so well, so intimately, 'my Maura' she thought possessively, but she had no right to be angered, Maura was her best friend, not her lover, not her girlfriend, she felt a sharp pain in her chest, she loved Maura more than anyone, she loved her as a best friend and more, it was the more part that was tricky, she pulled out a bottle of whiskey,

"this should help me stop thinking" she grumbled, before twisting the cap off and taking a big gulp, she coughed a little at the feel of the liquid burning her throat, the bitter taste left in her mouth, but she continued drinking, and drinking…and drinking, until there was nothing left, and Jane dropped to the floor by her couch, empty bottle in hand, curled up in fetal position.

She woke up the a few hours later, shaking, her hands aching, she stood up slowly, and walked to the bathroom, she stripped off until she was standing naked staring at her reflection in the mirror, she looked at the dark bags under her eyes, the way her cheek bones stood out sharper than usual, she was shrinking, shrinking away, Jane Rizzoli was being replaced by this weak, scared, vulnerable person, she put her hand in front of her mouth and tried to muffle the sob that her body released, 'pull your shit together Rizzoli' she thought to herself before stepping into her shower letting the water wash away the early morning alcohol and sweat from her nightmare, all washed down the drain leaving the shell of the person she used to be, she banged her fisted up hands on the walls and sobbed, her whole body shaking, the tears streaming down her face,

"fucking screw up Rizzoli! Fucking screw up!" she screamed before collapsing to the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth. She didn't know how long she stayed like that, on the floor in her shower, but she managed to get out and get ready for work with time to spare to stop for a coffee on the way to the precinct.


"Hey partner, you look like shit" Frost said as he watched Jane walk to her desk,

"fuck off-" she snapped back, then her eyes went wide almost a delayed reaction "-s..sorry Frost just ya know tired, decided to watch the MLB games last night, not the smartest move", Frost didn't believe her but a shared look between him and Korsak, he knew he should just let her be,

"did you see the way the Red Sox played?! They nailed it!", Jane chuckled and nodded,

"so what have we got?", she said gesturing to the board,

"ah right, Ben Gestrenko, found dead in his apartment, bullet to the chest , Dr Isles is doing his autopsy in-" Frost looked at his watch "-5 minutes, we just have to wait to see what the autopsy findings are until we move further",

"no CCTV footage or witnesses?"

"the area was canvased before we got there by the first responding officers, nothing, and the CCTV footage is blurry but i'm working on it right now",

"okay I'll go see what Maur has then", she grabbed her coffee and the green-tea she had brought for Maura before making her way to the Morgue, she took a deep breath before stepping out of the elevator and heading to the lab,

"hey Maur" she said warily, Maura looked up from the body on the table,

"hello Jane! What can I help you with?" Maura asked chirpily,

"Ben Gestrenko-" she pointed to the body on the table "-this guy on your table and I got you green-tea" she said placing the blonde's cup on the empty table behind her, before slumping her shoulders forward and staring at her boots

"oh thank you, that was very thoughtful of you-" Maura said only then truly seeing the tiredness in Jane's eyes and the way her shoulders slumped…more than usual, she pulled off her gloves and walked over to Jane, "-Jane, are you okay?", Jane suddenly became alert and jumped up,

"what? Yeah Maur i'm fine",

"Jane you're showing signs of fatigue and the day has only just begun", Jane shrugged,

"guess I shoulda gotten more shots of Caffeine" Jane said nervously chuckling, Maura placed her hands on her hips,

"tell me", she said her hazel-eyes peering into Jane's eyes, Jane shuffled nervously on her feet,

"t..tell you what Maur? Nothin to tell here! Come on Dr Smartypants start the autopsy we have a homicide to solve" she said trying to shift the Doctor's attention, Maura huffed, she'd let it go, but she would find out what's going on with Jane, there was no way she was just going to drop this matter, she turned back to the autopsy table and pulled her latex gloves on,

"we don't know if it's a homicide yet Jane-", Jane stared at her, mouth agape, "-what?" Maura asked confused at her friend's expression,

"there is a bullet in his chest and you don't think it's a homicide?",

"I never said that, I said we don't know if it's a homicide yet",

"same thing Maur",

"no it's not" Maura said shaking her head,

"uh yeah it is",

"it's not"

"it is"

"it's not"

"IT IS",

"JANE CLEMENTINE RIZ-"

"-MAURA DORTHEA ISLES" Jane said interrupting her, she smirked as Maura huffed and started a Y incision on the body,

"it's not".


"Janie-" Frankie said shaking the detective who had fallen asleep at her desk, "Janie-"

"oh Janie Janie Janie!-" Hoyt sneered as he ran his finger down the side of Jane's cheek, his tongue followed the path his finger made, Jane screamed,

"I'm..i'm n..not afraid of you" Jane said her voice broken, Hoyt chuckled,

"sounds to me like you are-" he inhaled deeply, "-lavender and fear my favourite combination JANIE!"

"argh! GET OFF ME YOU BASTARD" Jane screamed lashing out at whoever had a grip on her shoulders,

"Jane, Jane calm down it's me Frankie, you're safe Jane", Frankie hugged her to his chest, but Jane was far from relaxed she jumped up, eyes wide, she felt humiliated, not only had she fallen asleep at work but she'd had a nightmare, a nightmare at work, Frankie saw the look in his sisters eyes but before he could say anything she'd fled the room. Frankie ran his fingers through his hair, he went down to the cafe to see if Jane had taken refuge in a big cup of coffee, no luck, he frowned then had an idea 'Maura she's gotta be with her' he headed to the elevators, he jabbed the button that would lead to the morgue, his foot tapped on the floor impatiently, finally finally the doors to the elevator opened, he ran into the morgue spotting Maura nowhere, he figured she'd be in her office, so he ran in and flung open the door,

"Maura! Is Jane-" he stopped speaking his mouth dropped open, he watched as a unknown man pulled out of Maura then rushed to pull up his trousers as Maura quickly pulled down her skirt he averted his eyes, "-sorry I shoulda knocked", Maura flushed with embarrassment,

"it's..it's okay" Maura breathed out,

"I'll call you later", the man said as he looked at his feet and avoided eye-contact with Frankie who was glaring at him,

"of course Jack, bye-", he scampered out of the room, "-Frankie what can I do for you?" she asked somewhat more calmer than just a few moments ago,

"I was going to see if Jane was with you-" he paused before muttering under his breath "-obviously not",

"I haven't seen Jane since this morning-" her brows furrowed "-is there a problem?", he thought for a moment about telling Maura about Jane's obvious nightmare, but knew Jane wouldn't appreciate it,

"no, no problem, I was just gonna ask her-" he paused thinking of a valid excuse "-if..if she wanted some coffee from that place down the street", Maura narrowed her eyes at Frankie who shifted uncomfortably under her intense gaze,

"your left eyebrow twitches just like Jane's does when she's trying to hide something, tell me what's going on", she demanded,

"just talk to Janie alright, it's not my place", he said softly,

"I will, oh and Frankie? Could you not mention what you saw to anyone else?" Maura asked tentatively, Frankie nodded,

"saw what?" he asked winking,

"Frankie you know what yo-" then her eyes widened "-oh you're messing with me",

"that was too easy Maura, but you're just lucky that it wasn't Jane that walked in on ya!", Maura's brows furrowed,

"why would this effect Jane?", Frankie just stared at her, he knew his sister was head of heals in love with the Doctor,

"er no reason, see ya round!".


Jane had gone to talk to Maura after she ran out the homicide department, but to her surprise and complete horror, Maura was busy, oh boy was she busy, her legs were spread on her desk, her head tilted back while Jack, was busy thrusting in and out of her, Jane felt the tears threaten to fall, and a wave of nausea hit her, she fled before her presence was noticed. She was out of the precinct before anyone could question why she was practically sprinting, she opened her car door and titled her head back against the headrest 'what the fuck did I just see? I can't believe, I can't breathe oh man I can't fuckin brea-' the last images to run through her head before she passed out were the images of Maura Isles and someone that wasn't her fucking on a desk.

'Maura- Jane are you okay? I'm worried, they said you ran out of the precinct' ,

the buzzing of her phone was what woke Jane, she looked around to gather her surroundings, she was still in her car, she checked her watch, only a few minutes had passed, she sighed, and responded to Maura's text, even though her heart had been torn in two, smothered in gasoline, then set alight,

'Jane- I'm okay Maur, just feeling a little sick',

Maura sighed at the response she had from Jane, she couldn't quite understand why Jane wouldn't tell her what was wrong,

'Maura- Jane',

even though she couldn't hear Maura she could tell that she knew that Jane was telling her bullshit, even if she really was feeling sick, instead of responding Jane turned the key in the ignition and drove, she didn't know where she was going, she just knew she needed to get away, she needed to forget, she needed to forget what she saw, she needed to forget her nightmares, so she drove, and drove, and drove.


Okay guys first chapter complete! Tell me what you think! I think that someone who is truly in love with someone else would need time to recover after seeing.. well you know what, there will be anger and tears, but stick with me! Rizzles will be happening! I promise! I'm finally getting to create some scenarios that have been going on in my mind for awhile, especially when it comes to Jane's reactions towards some of the things that Maura does/will do!