SanitysBane here!

This is my first Fanfiction, and I hope it's somewhat good.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Invader Zim characters. They belong to Jhonen Vasquez. When I last checked, I owned myself. Of course, for all I know, somewhere in the universe a receipt could have just been handed over to the duck that bought me. Also my friend Wei belongs to herself, unless that duck bought her as well…

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New Students and Unorganized Skool Boards

It was a sunny day in an unnamed town, a day when children would be happy, even in skool. Unless Ms. Bitters was the teacher, and on this particular sunny day, she was more frightening after watching the paper airplane fly across the class and land on her desk. She glared at the guilty culprit responsible for the throwing of the offensive object. "Rob, you have been very annoying today, but not annoying enough to be sent to the underground classrooms. Trade seats with Old Kid in the back."

Rob grinned. "I'll actually be able to see the board now," he remarked while moving, "cause Dib's big head won't be in the way!"

"My head's not­– oh, never mind," Dib groaned, knowing his protests would have no effect. Across the room, a certain green skinned violet-eyed boy watched he whole exchange.

"Ha! Stupid paper-throwing dirt pig!" Zim laughed. "Zim could make a much BETTER plane!" He began to laugh, but was quickly cut off when Ms. Bitters' phone appeared and began ringing. Hissing, the scary teacher reached out and seized the received, lifting it to her ear. Her eyes narrowed as she listened before slamming down the phone on to her desk.

"Class, a new miserable optimist will be joining this hopeless community today," Ms. Bitters barked. The class looked for an empty desk. The Letter M raised a hand.

"Ms. Bitters? There aren't any desk open for a now student," he pointed out. Ms. Bitters growled and scanned the class. Her eyes settled on Old Kid.

" Old Kid, you've been in this class for 50 years. It's about time you graduated."

Dib stared as the teacher pulled out a diploma and a graduation cap.

"But no one EVER graduates!" he cried.

"No one's ever been here for 50 years," retaliated Ms. Bitters. Old Kid joyfully skipped up to Ms. Bitters' desk while a hidden speaker played Pahco Bel's Canon. He turned to face the class.

"On this momentous occasion, I would like to thank…"

"OUT! OUT!" Ms. Bitters interrupted. The elderly child raced out and nearly collided with a girl walking in. She leaped aside to avoid being bowled over, then regained herself, and stepped in the class. She wore her should length dirty blonde hair back in a ponytail that fell behind her back. Her black trench coat was similar to Dib's, though it shimmered slightly with dark violet. Her red shirt was unadorned but contrasted sharply with her blue eyes. As she stepped in everyone saw her large combat boots. She walked over to Ms. Bitters.

"Is this Ms. Bitters' class? I'm the new student, Christine."

"You're in the right class, now sit down behind Dib in that empty seat."

Christine nodded and took her place. Dib felt an unexplainable rush of warmth as she sat down, but quickly pushed it away. Ms. Bitters pulled out a large envelope from her desk.

"Do to a lack of planning on the part of the skool board, each class has been assigned a play to read. This class has Romeo & Juliet."

Christine suddenly raised her hand.

"Yes, Christine?"

" I'm just wondering, is Romeo and Juliet a play appropriate for our age group? It covers so many dark themes such as killing and blood feuds and suicides and… I'm gonna shut up now," she quickly amended as she noticed the whole class was staring at her. Dib sighed. The new girl was going to have to learn that you don't question what Ms. Bitters says. The frightening teacher was just starting to hand out playbooks when some one knocked on the door. Ms. Bitters hissed her anger at the interruption as she went to open the door.

A hooded figure stepped in. Dib recalled seeing similar figures in the Principal's office when Willy had beaten Zim in the skool presidential elections, so he figured this new arrival was a member of the skool board. The hooded figure glided– Dib stared; the guy was GLIDING! –over to Ms. Bitters. He dropped a package on her desk and left in the same manner as he entered.

Ms. Bitters opened the package, scanned it, and announced, "The skool board has actually changed the schedule. You will not read any plays. Instead, after lunch, you will be in groups of three dissecting dead pigs. Now go to lunch."

Zim raced out of class as soon as he was dismissed. He wanted to get to his table first, so there was no chance of that new girl getting it. He was lucky that day, and got to be first in line to receive the filth humans seemed to believe was edible. It was somewhat suspicious looking, unusual since the cafeteria ALWAYS served suspicious looking food, and this was even more suspicious than normal. The mysterious green sludge was in a new type of bowl that seemed to be reinforced steel of some sort, but Zim didn't care about the filth since he had no intention of eating it.

Zim's seat gave him a good view of the cafeteria door, and he watched as the Dib-worm and that new girl came in. Dib was clearly babbling on about something paranormal, and Christine was looking like she had been interested at first but was now tired of the subject. The disguised Irken invader watched the pair closely. He was slightly concerned that Dib had convinced the new girl that Zim was an alien, which would lead to Zim's exposure as everyone believed Christine to be sane and she would not make crazy claims without reason.

To the alien's surprise, Jessica, the most popular girl in class, and her friends cut in between Dib and Christine.

"Hey, Christine, why don't you sit with us for lunch? We can talk about not crazy things, and none of us have unnaturally large heads!" Jessica proposed.

"Um… okay?"

"Great! Now come on! You will just love being with us cool kids!"

Christine shrugged and followed Jessica's group. Dib sighed and went to sit with Gaz at his normal table. Zim couldn't help smirking triumphantly as he saw Dib sit down unhappily next to his creepy sister. If Dib had been defeated in anyway, Zim saw it as a victory, even if he had nothing to do with the event.

It had taken only two minutes for Christine to start regretting her acceptance of Jessica's offer. She was stuck in a group of girls who were babbling on about something; she thought it had something to do with clothes.

"…And after skool, we can go to the mall and get you some new clothes!" Jessica was saying. "I think you would look FABULOUS in pink! Yes, pink is your color! What do you think?"

"I hate pink…"

That shocked Jessica, but she recovered quickly.

"So if you don't like pink, what is your favorite color?"

"Black."

"Black? But that's such… such a… black color!"

Christine raised an eyebrow. "Well, obviously."

"Erm, okay, are there any other colors you like?"

"Red."

"Red is not such a good color either."

"Do you have a problem with blue? I like blue, too."

"Now we're talking! What kind of blue do you like? Sky blue? Pale blue?"

"Navy blue."

"Well, a mall trip can be put off. Now, onto the topic of makeup. You should wear– Hey! Where are you going?"

Christine picked up her tray and left the table, mentally vowing never to sit there again. She looked around for another table.

Zim stuck his spoon into the strange sludge. He stirred it around a little then pulled it out. All parts of the spoon that had been in contact with the dirt had dissolved. That explains the metal bowl, Zim thought. This stuff might spare me the trouble of destroying the– huh?

A shadow had fallen over him. He looked up to see Christine standing there, holding her tray, a questioning look on her face.

"Is this seat taken?"

SanitysBane: Well, that's the end of chapter one! I hope you liked it, this is my first fanfic ever! I will only update once I have a few positive reviews and once I write the next chapter, and I would appreciate some suggestions. So it might take time. Tell me if I get any OOC-ness, I want to avoid that. Flamers shall be sold to the duck.