A small yawn escaped Beca's lips as she travelled down the highway. Trees passed as nothing more than a dull green blur and the road stretched on ahead as far as Beca could see. The sun was low in the sky, darkness already rolling in from the East. It had been a long day; she'd left the minute her final exam was over. She'd been supposed to make the four hour trip tomorrow, but she'd wanted to surprise Chloe. It was hard being in a long distance relationship, but they made it work. They both knew the other was where they needed to be, plus there were weekends and breaks and sometimes impromptu visits on the days Beca didn't want to go to class. Chloe pretended to disapprove of those but her discouraging tone just want quite convincing when her mouth couldn't help but smile. Beca didn't even have to check the clock to know she'd been driving for an hour already. She knew the route by heart and every fork in the road, every road sign acted as a marker for how much further she had to go. She shifted in her seat, trying in vain to find a more comfortable position. As the sun suck lower behind the hills, she contemplated stopping at a gas station for a coffee, or something to eat but the thought of Chloe's surprised face as Beca ran into her arms kept her mind focussed on the road. Just three more hours, Beca, she thought to herself in an attempt to convince herself that it wasn't that far. She stifled another yawn and flicked her lights on as the sun disappeared below the horizon.
Chloe flicked through the channels, finding nothing that caught her interest. A horror movie was playing but she was a scaredy-cat when Beca wasn't around to hold her hand. She switched the television off and reached instead for the book beside her. She was reading The Notebook for probably the hundredth time. Even though she could probably recite it word for word, she still cried and laughed in all the same parts as if it was the first time. Her legs tucked under her flowing skirt and her head nestled into the nook between the back and side of the couch, she began to read. The book always inevitably made her think of Beca and Chloe lasted only three pages before her mind was completely distracted. She glanced down at her watch. It was 7pm. Beca would probably be there around midday the next day, meaning she had seventeen lonely hours to fill. Chloe missed Beca in a way so fierce she felt as if her heart had been set on fire sometimes. When Chloe had first graduated and taken a job so far away from Barden, Beca had suggested dropping out and moving with her. It had been the hardest decision of her life, and the biggest fight the couple had ever had, but Chloe had made Beca promise she would finish her studies. They talked on the phone and Skyped almost every day which made things easier but the lack of physical closeness did make Chloe feel so alone. Her double bed felt so much bigger without Beca's sleeping body thrashing around in it. Her fridge looked bare when it was only stocked for one and the house was too quiet when Beca wasn't around to play DJ. She hadn't noticed when the book had left her hands, or when her phone had taken its place but she found herself calling the familiar number.
Beca could hear her phone ringing from inside her handbag which sat on the passenger seat. It was probably Chloe, ringing to hear about how her exams went. After all, she thought Beca was back in her dorm right now, revelling in her newly acquired freedom. She couldn't be more than an hour and a half away from Chloe's house now, so she let the phone ring out. She could have pulled over and called her back, but that would ruin the surprise. They'd spoken that morning when Chloe had called her to wish her good luck on her exams. It hadn't been a long conversation because Beca had a ton of last minute study to do, but it had ended with exchanges of "I love you". The mere thought of hearing those words in person had gotten Beca through her three exams, although imagining the way they'd make love moments after being reunited had been quite distracting. Beca reached down and flicked the radio on. The signal was weak but she recognised the song immediately. "Bulletproof, nothing to lose. Fire away, fire away," her voice joined in with the radio. A smile spread across her lips while she continued to sing. As much as she hated how sappy it sounded, it was her and Chloe's song. It had been there for the most important moments in their relationship: their first real conversation (Beca didn't count being bombarded at the activities fair), the first time they'd seen each other naked and the first time they'd kissed. It was the night the Bellas had been crowned acapella champions and they'd all headed back to campus for a wild night of celebrations. The Trebles had joined, any jealousy or rivalry had left with Bumper, and they were all having a good time. Beca was DJ'ing when Chloe had come up behind her and put her hands around Beca's waist. Invasions of personal space weren't uncommon from Chloe and Beca had just accepted it as normal.
"You're playing our song!" a quite intoxicated Chloe had giggled.
"Really? Our song?" was Beca's reply as she turned to face the redhead, still locked in her arms.
"Yep, it reminds me of that time in the shower, and the moment I knew."
"Knew what?"
"That I loved you." Neither had really initiated the kiss but neither felt the need to pull back either. The DJ booth wasn't exactly hidden but judging by the cheers and wolf-whistles that had come from the crowd, the kiss hadn't exactly come as a surprise to any of them.
With each unanswered ring Chloe's heart sunk. Eventually, the automated voicemail message answered and she hung up without leaving anything after the beep. She was so bored, and even though she'd talked to Beca less than twelve hours ago she already missed her voice. It seemed like the closer it got to Beca getting there, the slower time began to go. For lack of anything better to do, Chloe made her way to the bathroom to take a shower. Steam filled the bathroom as she let the water run while she undressed. She stepped into the shower and let the water run over her, wetting her hair and warming her body. It was already a warm night but the heat of the shower made Chloe's entire body relax. She picked up the shampoo and laughed to herself. The last time Beca had visited they'd been fooling around in the shower and accidentally knocked everything off the shelf. There was still a crack in the shower glass from where the shampoo bottle had made contact. They'd both ended up collapsed on the floor in giggles, Beca's hands still cupping Chloe's breasts. As Chloe began to rub the shampoo into her hair, she began to sing. "Shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium." She still sung the harmony she'd sung for Beca in the shower over a year ago and in her mind she could hear Beca's voice singing the melody. Like a broken record the song was stuck in her head and became the soundtrack for the rest of her shower. She stepped out and wrapped a towel around her. Tying her wet hair up into a bun, she walked to her bedroom to get dressed. She chose a flannelette shirt Beca had accidently left behind and paired it with her pink Minnie Mouse pyjama shorts. She remembered her phone was still out on the couch and went to check if Beca had called her back. There were no missed calls or new messages. Chloe sighed and flopped down onto the couch. She dialled the number again but again got no answer. She fired off a quick text before returning to The Notebook, hoping to read a little further than last time.
Beca's eyelids were heavy as she passed through a town half an hour out from where Chloe lived. She only had to make it to Chloe's and she knew the sight of her girlfriend would wake her up. She could see Chloe now, sticking her head out the front door to see who was pulling up at her house so late. It'd only take her a moment to recognise Beca's car before she'd be running across the driveway to her. They'd kiss and hug before heading inside to do a lot more than that. The saying may have gone absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it was Beca's opinion that it should be absence makes the sex hotter. Because it was. After weeks of not being together, they always found that the first night they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. They'd go until they were both exhausted and fell asleep in each other's arms. Beca's favourite part was waking up the next morning to Chloe's naked body pressed against hers. It was such a great change to the dreary mornings in her dorm when the only thing she had to look forward to was Bellas rehearsals after six hours of classes. Beca's phone began to ring again, interrupting her fantasy. She let it ring out again. She was driving through Chloe's town now; she'd be on her doorstep in less than twenty minutes. She'd only two blocks before she heard her message tone go off. She knew she shouldn't, but the roads were quiet and so she let go of the wheel with her right hand to fumble for her phone. Her eyes darted from the road to the bag as she searched before her hand eventually clasped around it. She pulled it out and looked down. One new message: Chloe 3. Chloe had added the heart at the end and although it went against her tough-girl image, Beca had never changed it back. She tossed a casual glance into the rear view mirror, nobody was behind her. And the road in front was clear for as far as she could see. She opened the message and looked down again. I just called to say I love you. Beca bit her lip in that cute way she had a habit of doing, a reflex to hide the smile forming there. In the split second she'd taken her eyes off the road, she'd missed a stop sign. She was already halfway across the intersection before she looked up and saw the headlights shining straight at her and the horn blaring. The car collided with hers, sending it spinning. Chloe's face was the last thing Beca saw before everything went black.
Chloe must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was being woken by a knock at the door. Confused as to who could be visiting this late she rolled off the couch and made her way to the front door. Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw who was standing on her doorstep; two policemen, with solemn looks on their faces.
"No," she whispered, shaking her head.
"Ma'am, are you Chloe Beale?" one of the policemen asked. It was all Chloe could do to answer his question with a nod. The police didn't just turn up at your door for no reason; this had to be a dream. It couldn't be real.
"I'm very sorry to inform you that Rebeca Mitchell was involved in a collision at approximately 9:45 tonight." Chloe felt a lump form in her throat at the mention of Beca. "Paramedics did all they could but sadly she passed away."
Chloe's knees buckled and she sank to the ground, sobbing. She felt a police officer's hand on her back but she shook him off. She didn't want to be touched right now. She didn't want to be reminded of how real this was, and how much she wasn't dreaming. Her neighbour's lights flicked on as they heard her cries of anguish, but she didn't notice. Nothing mattered right now but Chloe. Had she been in pain when she died? Did her parents know yet? A thousand questions crossed Chloe's mind but she couldn't find a way to articulate them. She clung to the door as she got to her feet shakily. Her knees still felt weak beneath her and threatened to drop her to the ground at any second. The police officer must have noticed this because he moved under her arm to support her weight and this time she let him.
"I want to see her," were the first words she managed to form. The officers nodded and asked if she wanted to change before they took her, but Chloe just shook her head. She had to be with Beca right now.
The ride to the hospital was painful. The only way there was through the intersection Beca had crashed at. Chloe shut her eyes tight as they turned the corner so she didn't have to see whatever was waiting there. She couldn't fight the urge to open her eyes though and looked out just in time to see Beca's Civic being loaded onto a tow truck. The front had completely crumpled, resembling a scrunched up piece of paper. Glass covered the road and a pole was bent at an odd angle where Beca must have hit it. Chloe gulped, worried she might throw up at any moment. The scene that surrounded her was worse than any horror movie and she was glad when it passed. It wasn't long before they were arriving at the hospital. The officers spoke to a nurse who then took Chloe down to the morgue. The police officers accompanied her – she needed to identify the body. The morgue was cold and dark, or maybe it just seemed like that to Chloe. Before showing her the body, the nurse warned Chloe that Beca's face was injured and it might be a traumatic sight. Chloe thought that was a stupid thing to say, seeing your dead girlfriend in any state would be traumatising. Once Chloe was ready the nurse pulled back the sheet that draped over Beca's body. The noise that escaped Chloe's lips was one that no physical pain could cause, the kind that ripped open the hearts of everyone who heard it as if they could feel it too.
"That's her. That's my Beca," Chloe choked before the tears consumed her. She was gripping the edge of the metal table to keep from falling. The officers nodded and left the room with the nurse to give Chloe time to say goodbye. Her body trembled as she looked down at Beca's face again. There was a cut above her left eyebrow and her right cheek was swollen and bruised.
"Oh Beca," Chloe cried, pressing a tender kiss to Beca's forehead. She couldn't find any other words to say, nothing felt fitting. How did you say goodbye to the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Chloe just held her hand and cried. She couldn't be sure whether it had been a minute or an hour when the nurse came back in to get her.
"I love you, Beca," Chloe whispered, giving her one last kiss, this time on her lips. Leaving the room was the hardest thing Chloe had ever done. The full weight of the night's events hit her hard and knocked the wind out of her. She'd never see Beca again. Never fight with her over whose turn it was to do the dishes, never listen to another of her mixes, and never feel her soft skin against hers again. She couldn't understand how Beca could just be gone. They'd spoken that morning and she was supposed to visit tomorrow. Instead of waking up to Beca's arrival the next day she'd be faced with the task of ringing the Bellas and Aubrey to let them know. Chloe wished with all her heart that Aubrey was there with her and not in New York right now. She needed her best friend. She needed her girlfriend, but that wouldn't change the fact that she was gone. She sat on a seat in the lonely corridor and put her head in her hands. She wanted to scream but barely even had the energy to weep. Her body convulsed violently with every sob.
The nurse returned with a bag of Beca's personal belongings, though Chloe hadn't even noticed she had left. She took the clear plastic bag and wiped her eyes, then surveyed the items. Beca's necklace was there, and the ring Chloe had bought her for her twentieth birthday. In the bottom of the bag was Beca's cell phone. Chloe reached in and took it out. The screen was cracked in three places and the top half was black but Chloe could still make out the words "I just called to say I love you." It was her message. The last words Beca had seen were those. What if that was the reason she'd crashed? Chloe threw the phone across the hallway and watched as it smashed into several pieces. Her heart was beating so fast that it actually hurt and she couldn't catch her breath despite the fact that she was sitting down. The police officers had reappeared, offering her a lift home. She nodded, suddenly feeling like a fool standing in the middle of a hospital in her Minnie Mouse pyjama pants with messy hair and no shoes. Chloe didn't remember much about the drive home, but before she knew it she was lying in bed. She sobbed herself to sleep, the first of many nights without Beca. She was used to sleeping alone, but this time it wasn't just for a few weeks. It was forever.
