Ssnnnuuugggh...Shoooooooh
"You gotta be kidding me?"
"Sir?"
"It's Daniel, he's snoring again."
"Well make him stop Sir ."
"How Carter?"
"Throw a shoe at him, he'll turn over."came the tired suggestion.
"And that's gonna stop him how?"
"He can't snore if he's lying on his side sir. He's lying on his back now but if you throw a
shoe or boot in this case at him he will turn over onto his side and stop snoring. Assuming
you hit him of course."
"Oh I'll hit him Major, I'll–Hey what makes you think this is going to work Carter?"
"I saw it in an old episode of "Wings" sir, it works."
"Ah."
"Can I go back to sleep now sir?" Carter half whined.
"If you must."
"I must."
"Goodnight Major."
"G'night sir."
Jack didn't need to think twice about Carter's idea and started to untie his left combat boot.
He remembered the last time he threw his shoe at Daniel, it went right through the archeol-
ogist bouncing off the wall behind him instead. Jack smiled mischievously knowing that
this time his boot wasn't going to miss. He wasn't going to miss. Jack hefted the boot in his right hand, zeroed in on his target, which was bit hard to do in the dark, and fired.
THUMP
"GAAH!!!" Daniel screamed and shot bolt upright. He looked around their cramped tent,
his vision still blurry from sleep, and then down at the boot that now lay motionless beside
him. He lifted the combat boot up by the laces so he could inspect it properly. Too big to
be Sam's yet not big enough to be Teal'c's and he's wearing his so that leaves Jack.
Just then the wind blew through the open tent flap and his nose was filled with the stench from Jack's left boot. Eww!Daniel looked back and forth between the combat boot in his hand and Jack who was across the tent watching him from the comfort of his sleeping bag with a half guilty half ticked off expression on his face. He sat up straighter when Daniel glared at him.
"Erm, Jack? Why did you throw your boot at me?"
"HEY, What makes you think it's mine Danny-boy?"
"Because it's to small to be Teal'c's and to big to be Sam's." Daniel stated matter-of-factly.
"It could be yours you know." Jack said rather petulantly.
"It could . But-" Daniel held up his index finger and then pulled back the flap of his sleeping
bag to reveal one pair of genuine AirForce issue black combat boots, size 10. He wiggled
his booted feet back and forth for emphasis.
"Alright, alright. It's my boot. Happy now ?"
"No not really."
"Why?"
"Because it stinks." Daniel said holding the offending foot apparel away from him.
"My feet do not stink."Jack stated vehemently.
"Yeah well tell that to this boot." Daniel threw the boot back to Jack.
He reached out a hand to catch the boot but in the darkness of the tent he couldn't see it all to well and wound up knocking it towards a sleeping Sam, where it smacked her in the face.
"Oh crap!" Jack hadn't meant to hit Carter, really he hadn't.
"Oops!" Daniel giggled.
"Okay, OW!" Sam sat up holding her nose, praying it wasn't bleeding or worse broken.
"What just hit me?"
"Jack's left boot." Daniel supplied with a grin.
"And why did the Colonel's left boot hit me?"
"Because Daniel threw it at me." Jack responded
"Only because you threw it at me first. Which by the way you still haven't told me why."
"You were snoring again Daniel."Came Sam's nasally reply.
"I was snoring?"
"Yep!" came Jack's somewhat eager reply.
Daniel looked over at Sam who by now was sitting up and inspecting her nose in a small lighted mirror she keeps in her pack.
"Sam?"
"Loud enough to wake the dead."
"Okay I was snoring, does that mean you should throw a boot at me?"Daniel asked Jack.
"Well, Carter told me to! It was her idea!"
"Thanks a bunch sir."Sam said dryly
"No problem Major." Was Jack's smug reply.
"Your idea?"
"It was the only way to get you to stop snoring."
"Throwing a boot at me is supposed to stop me from snoring? Th-that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"She got it from an old t.v. show. Umm what was it again?"
""Wings" sir. And it's not that old."
"Yeah, whatever."
"No offence sir but Daniel's right, your feet do stink." Sam confirmed.
"I said it once and I 'll say it again. My. Feet. Do. Not. Stink."
"YES THEY DO!" Daniel and Sam responded together.
"Hmff!" Jack huffed angrily before turning over and going back to sleep.
"You alright Sam?"
"Yeah."
"How's the nose?"
"Sore but I'll live. Hey you never said where the Colonel hit you."
"Do I have to?" Daniel asked looking down at his hands
"I suppose not. I could always ask the Colonel."
"You wouldn't!"
"Oh but I would!"
"Fine. He hit me in the.. uh... well, that is to say my um-
"Oh, for crying out loud!. I hit him in the ass!" Jack cut Daniel off, startling them.
"Did we wake you sir?"
"It's a little hard to wake someone who wasn't asleep Carter." Came Jack's gruff reply.
"Sorry sir."
"Sorry Jack."
"The ass?" Sam Snickered.
"Saam!"
"Children!" Jack called out none to quietly "Go to sleep. That's an order."
"Yes Sir." Sam replied before turning over and closing her eyes, wondering if she and Daniel will have matching bruises in the morning. The ass? Poor Daniel.
"Uh I'm not in the military Jack, so you can't order me around." Daniel said impishly.
"Daniel!" Jack warned.
"Sleeping."
"Good." Jack checked his watch and then said "Daniel you have one hour until Teal'c
wakes you for your watch. I suggest you use it wisely."
"Yes Jack."
