Author's Note: This is a one-shot from A Working Title Part One after Chapter Twelve from Edward's POV. I know I probably shouldnt post this yet, but I have a feeling some of my readers may drop me after reading this. So...Bring on the Flames. I am ready to walk through fire.
Thank you for reading and reviewing. Please read A Working Title Part One and Two if you like the following.
Characters are borrowed from Stephanie Meyer
Non-disclosure Agreement
I stood there looking out over the lake. It was the reason I bought this house. That lake. The calm, confronting, relaxing lake. I sighed and took a brief swig from the glass of whiskey I had poured myself. I had been thinking about Bella and her little revelation ever since she fell asleep in my arms. You would think that the decision was already made so I shouldn't be standing here thinking on it.
Bella was a virgin.
My beautiful unique Bella was a virgin. Something that most people wouldn't ever think on, however when you a member of the society I chose to be a part of, it was something to think on. There was a certain code. A vow I made as a younger man to always follow but I never thought my soul mate would have been a virgin so there was nothing for me to worry about. But she was and I made a vow.
"Hey man, what's up? You know it's like two AM." Emmett startled me from my inner turmoil. Knowing Emmett he probably just got home from whatever one night stand he conquered.
"Yeah…couldn't sleep." I sighed, looking back over the lake.
"What's going on? You seem upset." Emmett prodded.
I walked over to the patio table and sat down with my whiskey.
"Edward, come on man. You can talk to me." Emmett pushed.
"Bella's a virgin." I exhaled. Emmett being a member of the Tria Fata would instantly know what that meant. It wasn't that I was upset that she was a virgin. I knew that someday it would be a precious gift for me, however…
Emmett came over and sat down. He started to rub his neck, the way he usually did when he was trying to figure out the answer to a problem.
"And you're sure she's the one. Edward, this changes things. You can't fuck around with this. This isn't some half way relationship." Emmett reminded me.
"Of course she is the one. I wouldn't even be here right now thinking on this; I would have broken it off as soon as she told me." I said offended.
"Calm down man, I'm just asking."
"I'm sorry Emmett, I didn't mean… I just am so…"
"Edward, I love Bella and if you are prepared to take that vow then I am only too happy to stand beside you in this. There is a reason we have chosen to follow this lifestyle. When we find that perfect person we will do anything to succeed at giving that woman every chance we can to ensure that she will be loved and protected until her last breath. Unfortunately the age difference between you two most definitely ensures a second…"
"I know Emmett." I interrupted. "I love Bella, I have loved her from the second I saw her. The first time we talked to one another, I think deep down I already knew she was the one. I tried pushing it away for so long because of our age difference. She was still young and immature and could go out and really live in the world before being tied down to a relationship. But I couldn't help it and like a selfish monster I am I will push this woman who I love into this lifestyle. Some may argue if I truly loved her, then I would let her go…but I can't and that may be the very thing that sends me to hell."
"Stop being over dramatic, Bella can make a decision for herself. She could choose to walk away if she wants and vow or no vow you would have to let her go. Maybe you should talk to Jasper I mean he has already gone through this with Alice. He could be better at advice." Emmett suggested.
"Alice wasn't a virgin." I spit out harshly. Emmett put up his hands in surrender.
I sighed and apologized once more.
"Emmett, I appreciate your advice just fine. I was already mulling over everything before you got here and it wasn't going much better on my own so I just…need someone to talk this through." I admitted.
"Alright, then let's talk this through. Have you thought about a second?"
I nodded my head slowly. "Jacob."
"I never understood Jacob's vow. I mean he's so young why would he want to give up his life like that? I love you man but even I would have a hard time if you asked that of me." Emmett confided.
"At this point in Jacob's life it may have been a mistake, he's is young and naïve and I don't particularly agree with it but I will respect him. If you don't stop man-whoring around may be you should consider becoming a second, pretty soon you will fill the position perfectly."
"Damn man, that's harsh. Don't go taking out your frustrations on me." Emmett replied.
"I'm being honest. I want you to be happy. I want you to feel what I feel. To love someone so much that you would cease to exist but for that perfect person."
"Edward, finding a soul mate isn't exactly easy, look at you. You're almost forty and you finally found her. I'm the same age man, did you ever stop to think that maybe that is why I go out and party so much or that was the reason why I try to meet as many women as possible. Yes, I like sex but I want to have what Jasper has. I want to have what you have newly discovered. I'm pushing forty and I'm starting to worry that she may not exist for me and in the end I'll end up alone or at best someone's second. Don't get me wrong being a second, it takes a special kind of man but I wanted to be someone's first."
I was blown away by Emmett's little revelation, I had no idea he was feeling like this. For the better part of my twenties I wasn't even focused on finding that perfect person I was just happy finding a person I could stand for a couple of months at a time. Then in my thirties I started to wise up and realize that I wasted my twenties and now I needed to get on the ball because I wasn't getting any younger. By my late thirties I too started to worry that maybe it was too late for me. But to hear Emmett talk about it, well it hurt because this whole time he was feeling exactly what I was feeling but he just decided to take a different route.
"I'm sorry man, I had no idea. But I know what you are feeling. I do." I affirmed.
"I know. I'm happy for you Edward. I know that in some way that this kind of sucks but Bella is going to give you the greatest gift, her love and her trust. I don't think she would give you her virginity if she didn't truly love you. I don't want to piss you off but what if James had followed through? If not James someone else."
"James." I spit. "It wouldn't have mattered to me she would still be a virgin in my eyes. James! I would have killed him if he ripped something so precious away from my Bella. I still think about going over there and killing him for what he even thought of doing. I still appreciate you handling that situation for me but I would have done more than rough him up and stomp on his dick. I would ripped it straight off."'
"Alright, Alright. Calm down. Edward killing him or hurting him like that wouldn't have done anything for you. You would be in jail and even if our great lawyers got you off I don't know if Bella could look at you the same."
Emmett and I sat there for a couple of moments in silence. I think he could tell that all that was going through my mind at the moment was the things I would have done to James, if I had gone and picked Bella up that night. When Alice came down and told us that she needed to borrow the car for a couple of minutes of course we knew something was up. Jasper was pissed that she would even think of going after Bella alone. I was already out the door by the time Alice finished telling us about Bella's upset phone call. But Emmett stopped me. He knew that I wouldn't have even paused for a moment to think of the ramifications. I would have gone over there and even if James hadn't touched a hair on Bella's beautiful head I still would have gone ballistic at the sight of him.
"So…you have a long tough road ahead of you." Emmett said breaking me out of my memory.
"Thanks for stating the obvious." I quipped.
"How do you think Bella will handle the Jacob thing?" he asked.
"I don't know. I just want to focus on our relationship right now. I want her to love me and have faith in me. She could eventually love Jacob more than me. Hell, she could hate Jacob. Jacob could hate me for even bringing him up. There is a potential for a lot of scenarios so I just have to focus on Bella and I for the moment. I really hope that when the time comes she will understand why I had to do this. I don't want her to walk alone in life after I am gone. I should let her go. I should love her enough to give her a life where she can find a normal man."
"A normal man? What's normal anymore? What would you do just sit back and watch as she finds another man to love and then maybe makes a mother out of her. What if he cheats on her? What if he abuses her? What if he leaves her broken? Yeah there is the potential that he could be great to her and love her the way she deserves but do you honestly think she will ever love that mystery man the way she loves you? If she is your soul mate, then I guarantee you she already feels it too." Emmett reasoned.
"Thank you, Emmett. You have no idea what your friendship means to me. Bella and I truly appreciate everything you have done for us." I confided.
"Edward, you know I'll always be here. Even without the vow I would do anything for Bella." He promised.
I nodded my head and downed the last of my drink. I wanted to get back up to bed with Bella. How I loved lying beside her, it was truly one of the best things in life. Holding her. Loving her. Anyone who was outside, looking in would think I was a monster and I won't disagree with you. But if Bella loves me then there would be nothing anyone could ever say or think about our relationship that would sully it. We will be happy. I will devote my life to making her happy.
I said good night to Emmett and made my way back to my heart. She was still sound asleep curling into a pillow that she must have thought was me. The pillow would have to go. No one and nothing would ever replace me.
Jacob.
I sighed. I would do this for her. I would ensure that she would have someone to love and protect her after my passing. Someone I knew would love and support her the any way she needed him. But he will never be me and that little thought was enough to pull me through.
"My beautiful Bella, how I love you so." I whispered gently into her ear.
"Edward." She sighed.
I kissed her on the head as I pulled her to me. I closed my eyes and let my head fall on the pillow.
"I love you." My eyes opened at her admission.
I squeezed her tighter. I would wait to hear her say those marvelous words to me, awake. But Emmett was right, she already felt it too.
She loved me.
