A/N: I'm taking a shot on a Once fic. (Gulp). It's got references to Eating Disorder issues. If that's not your thing please don't read it, I'm not trying to offend anyone. It's a slow build to some SQ. Happy reading :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters just the plot
Chapter 1: Feelings
Regina sat in a corner booth at Granny's, watching as Henry chatted animatedly with Emma between bites of food, while Emma focused her attention on her usual greasy cheeseburger, fries and large hot chocolate with double whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, lunch. It never ceased to amaze the brunette at how slender the blonde's body remained as she ate the same heavy, greasy lunch almost daily.
'She must workout a ton' She thought.
Since the curse had broken Regina's feelings towards the younger woman had changed. The moment Emma grabbed her hand and the hat opened the portal - sucking in the wraith, Mary Margaret and Emma along with it, everything changed. She not only broke the curse over the well because Henry begged her to, she did it because she wanted to. Regina Mills was in love with Emma Swan.
They no longer argued about Henry. They had somehow come to a silent shared custody agreement. He's with Emma every other week and they shared the holidays together. Her dark brown eyes met the younger woman's green, she smiled slightly as Emma stood and made her way to the bathroom.
When Emma returned she looked paler than usual and looked as if she had been crying.
"Are you ok Emma?" Henry asked.
She smiled softly and answered. "Of course kid."
"You look like you've been crying." He stated, directly. "Are you sick? You look paler." He inquired, leaning over the table to touch his hand to her forehead.
"I'm fine Henry." Emma said, in a tone of dismissal.
Henry shrugged and returned to his previous story.
Emma's eyes wandered back to Regina's and she softened. She found the older woman breathtakingly beautiful. Of course she could never tell her that, unless she wanted to get her ass kicked.
'I have feelings for the ex- "Evil Queen". Could I be more fucked up?' She thought.
Regina had watched with undivided attention as Emma returned from the bathroom. She was curious as to why she looked paler and why her eyes were puffy and red rimmed. She wanted to comfort her. She wanted to reach out and ask her if she was ok. They hadn't been doing much talking since Emma and Mary Margaret returned from the enchanted forest. As much as Regina longed to talk to the blonde and tell her how she felt, she wasn't sure how she would respond.
After all the fighting and the dirty tricks they played on each other. The last one nearly killing Henry. She didn't want to fight the woman anymore, no, she wanted to love her. The fighting started out about Henry and turned into the older woman fighting her attraction to Emma.
When Emma had gone into the bathroom she had been in a panic on the inside, yet on the outside she remained as cool as a cucumber. Ever since she had broken the curse and returned from the enchanted forest she felt like she was under immense pressure. Everyone wanted something from her. Her parents wanted her to be their "little girl" and to built that bond children have with her parents. Henry wanted the mother he never knew for the past ten years and she was trying to be that for him. And the whole damn town wanted their "savior" and she had been that. It was all too much!
'You know what to do' Some voice from deep inside herself said.
'No! I worked so hard to put this behind me!' She thought.
The anxiety continued to build as she stood in front of the mirror, clutching onto the porcelain sink.
'You're getting fat again. What are you without your looks? Who would want you?' The voice taunted her venomously.
'No! You're not real! I'm not fat! I'm not!' She said, shaking her head vigorously.
'Look at that double chin... and don't get me started on those thighs of yours!' The voice said harshly.
Emma turned to the side and looked at her silhouette in the mirror and then she saw what the voice was talking about.
'Damage control time' She told herself, marching over to a stall and closing the door behind her.
She bent over and stuck two fingers to the back of her throat, gagging herself until the food she had inhaled flowed out of her. She continued to gag herself until nothing but bubbly water came up, flushed the toilet and washed her hands.
She threw some water on her face and exited the bathroom. She hated herself for what she had just done.
'When will I ever stop feeling so broken?' She thought.
Ok, here it is. The first chapter. If you hate it please don't be come after me with knives and pitch forks. If you love it, review me :). It's going to be happy eventually. I promise.
