It's just another one of those wretched earth holidays, worse then Halloween and Christmas combined, one that never failed to twist Zim's squeedly spooch in a way that would have him running towards the nearest bathroom.

Valentine's Day.

The Irken watches the 'earth monkeys' walk around the classroom, exchanging valentine meats and whenever one was thrown onto Zim's desk (cherry colored liquid slopping out and staining the wood) he would merely push it away with his pencil.

Zita walks towards Zim's desk almost shyly, and when she places the bologna shaped heart onto his desk, he notices the slight tinge of pink on the girl's cheeks. He twitches visibly, murmuring a 'Thank you' and waits until she walks away to push it off the desk.

Zim groans, all this affection is making him sick.

While Zim contemplated feeding the valentine meats to GIR, Dib had snuck up behind Zim, armed with a piece of beef tenderloin that hovered above Zim's head.

It turns out, Dib was going to give the piece of meat as a token of his affection, but he figured Zim would deny him or just wouldn't get it. But watching Zim scream and flail as the meat burned his skin was just as good.

Dib's free hand ghosts over Zim's bouffant wig, ready to drop the meat onto Zim's (lovely) green head, but the petite alien had felt Dib's hand before it even touched him - thus causing Zim to jam his elbow into the boy's stomach.

"FILTHY DIRT CHILD," Zim shrieks, watching the boy double over in pain, clenching his shirt as he gasped for breath. "YOU DARE TO TOUCH THE ALMIGHT ZIIIIIIIM!"

Zim jumps onto of his desk and hisses at the human, pointing a gloved claw at him. Dib rubbed his tummy, his lips forming a pout as he glared at Zim.

"Jeez, Zim! Why are you such a jerk!" Dib cries, pretending to be hurt. "I was going to give you a present."

"LAIR!"

"No really!" Dib squeaked, he points to the beef tenderloin on the floor, now ruined. "That was for you.."

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow, mouth peeling into a snarl, "What? I don't want your filthy earth MEAAATTSSS!"

Zim clenches and rings his hands in the air dramatically, and Dib watches with adoring eyes. Dib clasps his hands behind his back and kicks at the floor bashfully.

"Your just so wonderful, I just hoped I would be worthy enough to be your valentine.."Dib gushes. Dib had meant for it to be a half-joke and because Zim cannot resist a good stroke to his ego, he believes him.

Zim makes a pleased grunt, a scarcely-veiled grin lying full across his face.

"Well, I suppose if that's the case, then I could accept your FILTHY valentiney meat...thing."

Dib smiles, scooping the beef up for the floor, holding it out to offer it to the alien again (when he planned to throw it as soon as Zim lifted his hands) - but before Dib could even blink again, Zim pushed Dib down by his back as his knee drives into the boy's mouth.

A muffled scream and the sound of kids laughing fills the classroom.

Dib is on his knees, mouth covered by his hand, burgundy flowing out of his mouth.

"Alright Dib-thing, I'll be your valentine love-pig." Zim says, cracking the knuckles on his right hand against his palm and Dib has never been more attracted to Zim then in this moment.

Ms. Bitters, who was already irked before, was not pleased for the classroom disruption. Zim got a detention slip, and Dib was sent straight to the Skool nurse.

XXXXXXX

Dib was happy he hadn't lost any teeth, and was surprised when the Irken walked up to him after class (sent to detention during class time), asking Dib if wouldn't mind accompanying him to the base.

It became apparent in the rushing words that fell from his mouth in that moment that he wouldn't be able to hold onto to hold his excitement, "Sure, I'd love to!" Slightly muffled, his finger rubbing his teeth.

And Dib was very, very happy that the teeth nipping at his earlobe are suddenly dagger-like and sharp, causing him to hiss out wantonly out in pain. Dib is seated on the floor, Zim pressed against his back and running his claws down the boy's sides.

"Mmmm, Dib-thing.." Zim coos, and Dib's back arches as Zim nibbles at his neck.

Dib's back soon collides with the floor, the alien pushes his knees apart roughly and leaning over him. The little alien palms the boy's chest, kissing Dib hotly.

"Z-Zim.." Dib squeaks, the alien's mouth searing against his skin as Zim's hot breath drifted from his rips up to his nipple, mouth sucking at it. "C-Can I be your valentine next year too?"

Zim pulls away, looking thoughtful for a second, he feels for his antenna.

"If I feel festive enough, I guess..." Zim relented, and that's enough for the human.

When Dib's voice is shot and his breathing is shaky, when he finally says it, Zim's name comes out longingly. Tampering in to a whine, a whimper. Zim lifts up from where he was, telling Dib he tasted sweet and asks if he could stop by tomorrow, and that makes Dib confident to call this the best holiday ever.