Gaarin: My first ZADR fic! This is a twoshot for Valentine's Day. I'll upload the second chapter… eventually.

Mizuhara: Wtf you can't write ZADR that's totally my OTP! Hands off!

Gaarin: Well I did. Warnings: Fluff, Zim/Dib, mild language, and OOCness… probably ;A; The rating may change next chapter depending… Do you guys want smut? :3

Mizuhara: …


Valentine (uncreative name woot.)


Dib slowly stepped up to the hole in the fence around Zim's house, regretting every step he took towards the oddly-coloured residence. He walked through the make-shift gate and onto the walk, past the blowfish and gnomes. The latter all seemed to be staring at Dib evilly, as though they would blow him to pieces in an instant. They probably could, too. Dib didn't meet the eyes of any of the lawn ornaments, knowing it was foolish and immature, but scared to death of the gnomes anyway.

Dib went up to the door, and knocked three times, feeling timid. He wasn't scared of the alien, not at all. He was more scared of what Zim was indubitably going to do to him unless he ran away now. But he couldn't run away now, he was already at the door.

Zim's robotic parents came out of the house, waving their hands and heads in random directions.

"Hello theeere!" screeched the mother. The father raised a hand melancholically and waved slowly while saying, "How can we help you, little lost bigheaded child?"

Dib blinked, and said, "I'm not bighe- Anyways. I'm- umm..." His quest seemed even stupider and less important in retrospect. Why was he here? Dib remembered, and reluctantly steeled himself for the worst. "I'm here to see-"

"MEEEE!" Dib was cut off by a loud squeaky voice. Zim's minion dog, GIR, ran up to the door and pushed the parents aside. "You bringin' me peeeeezza! Lots 'n' lots of gooey taco peeezza, right?"

Dib scratched his head. "No, actually. I'm here to see-"

Then he heard that familiar conceited voice. "ZIM! The pitiful Dib-human has travelled here to see ZIIIIM!"

Dib sighed. "Yeah, I'm here to see Zim."

Zim walked out of the house, and stood on his doorstep, looking down at Dib. He was wearing his disguise, Dib noticed, but his wig looked slightly askew, as if he'd thrown it on in a hurry. It was kind of cute. Zim noticed Dib staring at him, and said, cautiously, "What?"

Dib shook his head. "Nothing- nothing. Zim... I-" He looked at the parents towering over the Irken, and the tiny green dog smiling innocently at his feet. "I- um, could I talk to you? Alone?"

Zim looked up at his robo-parents as if only now realizing they were there. He then glanced down at GIR, and looked back at Dib. "Anything you have to say, hew-man," like usual, he spat the word out like a curse, "can be said in front of GIR and the droids- I mean my beloved birthgivers that are mine. I am HUMAN!"

Dib adjusted his glasses nervously, and said quietly, "Zim, please?"

It was the first time Dib recalled ever saying please to the Irken. Zim gave Dib a long look, observing him as one might observe a car before buying it. Dib squirmed under Zim's gaze until finally, Zim turned around. "Motherbot, Fatherbot. Return to your... rooms."

The robots did so obediently.

"GIR, go make me waffles." Dib sighed at this, remembering the whole security-camera/soapy-waffles/giant-squid-with-army-of-cyborgs incident. GIR saluted Zim, happily sticking his tongue out. "Okeeeee master!" The dog skipped off.

Zim turned back to Dib and leant against the doorway, posing with one hand on his hip. "Now, Dib-human, what is it that is so important?"

The black-haired boy fidgeted with his coat, looking around anxiously. He suddenly quickly blurted out, "Zmlewbmvlentn?"

The alien blinked.

"What?"

Dib's face flushed, and he couldn't meet Zim's eyes as he spoke so quietly the words could barely be made out. "Zim, will you be my valentine?"

The Irken blinked, and his facial expression changed into one of puzzlement. Dib swore internally. This was exactly what he'd expected to happen. Now Zim was going to laugh at him cruelly, or perhaps slap him across the face. He silently cursed his own stupidity for even asking.

The Irken tilted his head to the left cutely, and blinked again. "Ehh? Why?"

Dib sighed. "We... we needed to find a Valentine's Day partner for class. Ms... Ms. Bitters, she... mentioned it, remember?" Dib paused briefly, and Zim said nothing. "Well, uhh... I... everyone else in our class had one, okay? And we need a partner or we'll both fail the class... so... so I thought..."

A light seemed to come into Zim's blue eyes as he smirked. "So you thought I would help you, hmmm?"

Dib flushed. The entire thing was ridiculous and humiliating, and he almost wished he'd just chosen to fail the class. Almost. He looked down at the ground, fully aware of how visibly he had reddened. Dib didn't quite have a crush on Zim, but lately he had noticed how his feelings of hate and bloodlust for Zim had turned into a different kind of lust. He hadn't intended to do anything about his feelings, but Ms. Bitters had decided (indirectly) to send him on this journey that would certainly end in him dying.

Then Dib heard Zim's voice. It sounded strangely... triumphant. "Well, it seems for once the Dib-worm has done something right."

Dib looked back up at Zim, who was staring at Dib with a glint in his eye. Dib began to stammer, "I- I-I-I- w-wh- w-what?"

Dib could've sworn there was a glint in the alien's eye as he said, "Well, I, the almighty Zim, can't fail the class, now can I? Neither can you. When it comes down to it, really, you had no choice, Dib-human, correct?"

Dib stuttered out a few nonsense words. "But- I- IIII-"

The alien replied in his nicest voice, stepping back inside, "So yes."

Dib finally managed to get a proper sentence out. "Yes to what?"

Zim's smirk grew. "Yes, I will be your valentine. And you," he said as he looked Dib up and down, "are mine."

Zim then slammed the door shut, causing Dib to fall backwards onto his rear end in shock. The boy's jaw remained set open even as he stood and walked away in a daze. The alien's last words rang in Dib's ears as he stumbled up the steps to his house, threw open the door, and half-heartedly went into his room, slammed the door, and fell face-first onto his bed.

"And you... are mine."


Gaarin: To be continued… Review?