I got the inspiration to write this story after watching the episode Broadway Bro Down on the South Park Studios website. Seeing Shelly's boyfriend taken away so soon was really sad. I know a few friends who lost a friend too soon. This story is my interpretation of the aftermath of what happened at Wicked in Denver in that episode.
NOTE: I do not own South Park, Comedy Central does. But I do own Pika Broflovski. Which of course is a fictional version of me.
(South Park Cemetery, late morning)
"And so, with my last words to say, we commit Larry Vegan, to the gods." Priest Maxi finished his eulogy for Larry Vegan, the only death in the Wicked incident in Denver. Shelly Marsh had began a relationship with him a few days earlier. At first she did not like him, but she and her little brother Stan convinced him to "come out of his shell" as he put it.
"What cold-hearted bastard could have done such a thing?" Shelly asked. "I'm going to find out, and when I do, that person is gonna have justice brought upon him or her!" Stan began to console her. "Shelly, murdering whoever did this will only make things worse. Have you seen the movie Eye for an Eye?"
(Author's note: Eye for an Eye was made by Paramount Pictures, which like Comedy Central, is owned by Viacom. I've seen Eye for an Eye. It's really good. It stars the same actor who played Jack Bauer on 24, Kiefer Sutherland.)
"Shelly, Eye for an Eye is about a mother seeking revenge on a man, who looks conspicuously like Jack Bauer, who rapes and murders her teenage daughter. She becomes obsessed with getting revenge on the Jack Bauer lookalike, after the cops initially clear him. Eventually, she starts to act like that guy. The police get involved and warn the woman not to kill the Jack Bauer lookalike. Because if she did, she would go to prison for the rest of her life. But the woman sets it up so that it looks like his murder was done in self-defense. Shelly, I don't want to see you go down that road. Life can be shitty, sometimes literally as I have once experienced. But you have to let this go."
Stan pleaded with his older sister to let this die. But she was not interested in doing so. "I don't care what you say Stan, justice must prevail!" The two went their separate ways for the day. At school, Stan talked to his best friend, Kyle Broflovski. Stan always went to Kyle when he had a problem, and vice versa, but only since Chef died.
"Kyle, I don't know what to do. Shelly is obsessed with getting revenge on who killed Larry. I'm sure it was an accident, but she won't listen to a word I say." Stan said. Kyle was unsure of what exactly to say or do, but he tried his best. "Well Stan, she just needs time to mourn. This will all blow over soon. I know it. Remember how we all felt when Chef died? We've gotten over that without killing anybody else. Look, just leave Shelly alone. I think that is the best thing to do now." Stan sighed and realized Kyle was right. "OK Kyle, I will leave her alone for a while."
The Vegans took this just as hard. They went without eating for a couple days, but when the other citizens of South Park began to notice how weak they were getting, they took action. They intervened and got them to start eating again. Randy Marsh said of this, "no one should ever go on a hunger strike for any reason whatsoever. Sure bad things can happen, but you can't just stop eating as a result."
Late at night, a Pikachu with human-like features, including a kippah, threw rocks at Randy and Sharon's window. Randy woke up, and opened the window. "Pika Broflovski, what are you doing here?" Randy said as he noticed the Pikachu. "Randy, come down here this moment."
Randy put some clothes on, and came outside his house. Pika began to speak. "Randy, there is a slight chance someone walking the streets of Denver saw you put on that Spider-Man costume that night. He or she is bound to report you to the authorities. I suggest you go on the run. Just like John Anderton did in Minority Report."
(A/N: Paramount Pictures also owns the US rights to Minority Report via its 2006 purchase of previous US rightsholders DreamWorks. It's actually one of many movies in the Paramount Pictures library that stars Tom Cruise, who was infamously spoofed in the South Park episodes Trapped in the Closet and 200/201. Other Paramount Pictures releases starring Cruise include Top Gun, Days of Thunder, The Firm, the Mission: Impossible movies, Vanilla Sky, the 2005 remake of War of the Worlds, and Jack Reacher.)
"Randy, go pack some bags and take a taxi to the Denver airport. From there, fly to the San Francisco Airport. I have a friend who will help you from there on out." Randy was unsure of this, but he agreed anyway – "OK, I will do it. I don't want to have to be in jail. I'd rather be in hiding than in jail."
Randy packed up some of his bags with a list of things Pika told him to pack. He couldn't bring his cellphone. Or communicate with anyone in South Park after this. He took a taxi to Denver's airport like Pika told him to do. After that, he was greeted by a man who looked like Tom Cruise, after getting out of the airport.
"Hello, you must be Randy Marsh" the man said to Randy, who said, "oh, hi Tom Cruise, I thought you were dead." The man corrected Randy, "I am not Tom Cruise I only look like him. I am John Anderton. I am here to ensure you are hiding from the outside world."
Anderton took Randy to a hotel, where he shaved off all of Randy's facial hair, and dyed his head hair blonde, in addition to giving him a new haircut. "Take a look at the new you, Randy" Anderton said. Randy looked in the mirror, and liked his new look. Anderton also said Randy's new name was going to be, "Edgar Pegg". Anderton had everything planned out, including a new ID for Randy.
The next day in South Park, Pika was waiting outside Shelly's room. Shelley said, "what do you want, Pika?" Pika said, "wow that's the way you greet someone who has info on who killed your boyfriend?" Shelly said, "oh I'm sorry, these past few days have been Hell. I thought I find the boy I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, but I was wrong. Dead wrong."
Pika said, "I know who killed Larry. I know who was the man in the Spider-Man suit that disrupted Wicked in Denver and flooded the theater there. I saw this man put on the costume as I was walking on the other side of the street. He was with his wife at the time. She was not thrilled with what he was doing."
That was all Pika could say before he was shaken by Shelly, "alright you turd spit it out! Who killed Larry?" Pika said, "this is going to break your heart. The man who caused your boyfriend to drown, was none other than your own father, Randy Marsh."
Shelly was silent for five minutes as she took this in. She had just learned that her own father was a murderer. Finally, she (for lack of a better word) totally erupted.
"THAT SON OF A BITCH! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIS ASS! HE RUINED MY LIFE! HE WILL PAY! I CANNOT BELIEVE DAD WOULD DO SUCH A THING!"
Pika said, "I must be going now, my services are needed elsewhere in this wonderful land we call the United States of America." With that, Pika jumped out the window onto a motorcycle, which he drove out of South Park and onto further adventures.
Meanwhile Stan heard what was going on from listening in through the wall separating his and Shelly's rooms. "Oh my god...DAD! DAD!" Stan yelled as he ran to his parents' room, only to find that Randy was missing. Sharon was upset, but at least Randy left a note, explaining someone may have reported him to the police.
Stan said "Shelly has gone berserk. And not in the Eminem kind of way either. I heard through the walls that Randy was responsible for Larry's death. She in turned learned it from Pika Broflovski." Sharon said, "I know Stan. I was there. But I had no idea Pika Broflovski had seen what happened. I'm very worried for your father Stan. And for Shelly."
Stan said, "you should be mom, Shelly now wants to kill dad. She's become South Park's 'Stewie Griffin'." Sharon was puzzled about what Stan meant by that. Stan explained that Stewie Griffin was the baby character on Family Guy (which has also been spoofed on South Park, in case you do not remember), and that he has tried over the years to kill his mother.
Sharon said "whereas a baby cannot be prosecuted for killing someone, Shelly as a teenager can be. Shelly cannot find where dad is. I really hope he is in a safe place now." "I hope so too" said Stan.
Shelly went over to Jimbo's Guns, the gun shop owned by Marsh family relative Jimbo Kern. Jimbo said, "hey Shelly, what brings you here to my shop?" Shelly said, "I am out to kill my dad. He killed my boyfriend Larry Vegan. And since I cannot drive myself, I need your help in pulling off the job. He is hiding somewhere and I intend to find him."
Jimbo said, "I know my brother can do some really irrational things, but I don't think he should be killed. And if you go off and do it, I do not want any part of this. We get along too well for me to help get him murdered."
Shelly knew Jimbo would be hesitant at first to assisting her in tracking down Randy. So she came prepared. She got out a wallet – yes, a wallet, and gave Jimbo several hundred dollar bills. She had entered a contest 2 years before in which she won 100 thousand dollars, and a bank account was set up to manage it.
Upon receiving the money, Jimbo said, "wow, that changes everything. Not only will I drive you around the country in search of Randy, I will provide you with all sorts of guns, Shelly. You choose which one you want to kill him with. It doesn't matter. Just how did Randy kill your boyfriend?"
Shelly told Jimbo that Randy had dressed up as Spider-Man, disrupted a showing of Wicked in Denver and broke a water main in the process. Everyone was able to get out of the theater before it flooded – except for Shelly's boyfriend, Larry Vegan.
"What the fuck?! Randy has gone too far now! I'm gonna bring my friend Ned into this too." Jimbo was really pissed off. He knew Randy had done all kinds of horrible things over the years. Jimbo could take Randy getting into fights at baseball games, and using the N-word on Wheel of Fortune, but with this, Jimbo had finally had enough of his half brother.
TO BE CONTINUED...
As you can see, this story is going to be modeled after various other revenge movies, like Eye for an Eye, Kill Bill, Four Brothers (another Paramount Pictures release), The Crow, and V for Vendetta. I too have suffered several wrongs in which I wanted to get revenge for. So I know how Shelly feels in this story.
