Aaron's heart lurched as his eyes settled on Flynn approaching his table from the bar. He had not expected this
and he was not prepared.
He was already emotionally fragile and this was enough to tip him over the edge.
He held his composure as Flynn sat down. He pretended he didn't care and really he didn't. But, somewhere
deep down there were some emotions beginning to stir, despite Aarons attempts to deny them. Flynn began his
small talk, unsure really of what to say or what is appropriate, relevant or right at such a time. He did his best;
he touched on Jackson, without dwelling. He tried to sound polite and caring, without being insensitive or
disrespectful of Aaron's feelings.
It was tough for them both.
Aaron was irritated, for no real reason and Flynn was struggling, but underneath everything, they both wanted
to be there. They both still felt the same attraction that they had felt all those months ago and which they had
tried to resist then.
Without realising it, Aaron found himself surprisingly at ease in this man's calm, non-judging company and began
to pour out his feelings. Flynn noticed the tears well in Aaron's eyes periodically as he gradually unloaded. He
was overcome with the urge to reach out and hold him to try to offer some comfort; but he knew his friend was
not ready for that yet. Instead he just sat back and listened, nodding occasionally and uttering the occasional
words of sympathy.
He stepped away just briefly to the bar to replenish their drinks and listened intently as Aaron spilled his inner
most thoughts.
Flynn was almost reduced to tears himself at times as he absorbed the magnitude of what Aaron had been
through and was clearly still recovering from.
It was some time before Aaron had finished his outpour. The two friends sat in silence and looked intently at
each other. It was a while before either spoke.
"Aaron, let's go back to mine, it's quieter" he spoke gently but firmly; as more of an instruction than a
suggestion. He really wanted to help this desperate man and truly believed that he could. They had developed a
very unique and special relationship when Jackson had first had his accident and Flynn could sense the
hopelessness which had now replaced the passion Aaron once had.
Aaron didn't actually accept his friends offer or agree to go with him, but somehow found himself finishing up his
drink and heading out the door with him, towards the home he had not frequented in a very long time.
He had no idea why he was going there. He was not even sure that he wanted to, but that was the problem, he
had no idea what he did want or what could even begin to ease the pain that he was feeling.
Flynn unlocked the door and threw the keys onto the table. He steered Aaron through to the lounge as he
stopped briefly at the fridge to grab a couple of beers. They sat opposite to each other on the sofa. Flynn looked
searchingly into his friends blue eyes and chinked the neck of his bottle against his. "Cheers" he whispered.
Aaron met his gaze and a silence fell over them.
Sex was the last thing on either man's mind; this was absolutely not the right time or place, but without knowing
how or why the two ex lovers found themselves in a close embrace.
Flynn was pretty sure Aaron had leaned into him first, almost as a grasp for comfort, from someone who could
help his pain and offer even a little respite to his grief.
Flynn held onto the embrace for what seemed like a long time. He could feel the sadness exuding from his friend.
His stocky frame somehow felt small and weak. Their lips met and within seconds, both were enjoying the
sensation from so long ago. That touch melted into a kiss of such urgency that both men were quite taken aback.
Sex between them had always been devoid of tenderness, as Flynn recognised it was not him that Aaron really
wanted to be with. He knew that it was Jackson he had really wished he was making love to and he was merely
a means to relieve his lover's frustrations. But, at the same time Flynn knew there was something; there was a
reason why Aaron had returned so frequently to his arms, despite his obvious love for Jackson.
The flickering kiss had quickly become focused and wanton; both men showing clear signs of arousal.
No words were exchanged, only deep, intense eye contact and an unspoken desire which said all that was
needed.
First came the removal of both shirts, exposing soft, downy hair. Flynn was the first to run his fingers across this
whilst allowing his thumbs to brush Aarons already erect nipples. Of course Aaron tried to fight his desire. He did
not want to do this, not with Flynn, not with anyone, except of course for his beloved Jackson. But such was the
anger, guilt and helplessness burning within him; he knew he had to find a release somehow. Hurting himself,
cutting himself, depriving himself really wasn't working; why not try something that ultimately would be much less
harmful to him.
He pulled Flynn close; a huge yearning swelling within him. He was already erect.
Flynn was quite aware of his role in this; he understood that Aaron was a volcano on the verge of eruption. This
could be Heaven or it could be Hell.
Flynn had been here before, so many times though and he knew he would always take the chance. Whatever
happened with Aaron, he knew it would be worth the experience.
By now their tongues were exploring each other's, venturing deeper and harder.
Aaron moved onto Flynn's neck; Flynn fully expectant of the pain and passion he knew Aaron would deliver to
him.
Aaron bit hard; he could feel his teeth sink into the flesh. He caught his breath. It was like hurting himself without
the pain. He did feel some relief but he knew he needed more; he pushed Flynn's head into his neck and urged
him to bite him. Flynn responded, gently at first, becoming gradually harder and rougher at Aarons insistence.
Eventually he felt the skin rupture and tasted the bitterness of his friend's blood on his tongue and pulled away.
He did not like this. He was not going to do Aaron's hurting for him. Aaron expelled a huge sigh. That allowed a
little more release, now he could begin to work on the rest.
He undid his trousers, letting them slide to the floor; he reached over and unbuttoned Flynn's, helping them fall
to the ground. He then slid his hand into Flynn's boxers and felt the warmth of his erection in his hand. He held it
tightly for a few moments; his breath heavy. Oh boy that felt so good; he rubbed his hand to and fro, enjoying
Flynn's gentle moans.
Aaron rested his head on Flynn's shoulder. It was a long time since he had felt this kind of peace.
He pulled Flynn's hand into his own pants, clasping his hand around it and rubbing hard on his own cock. He
groaned loudly as he began to feel the unfamiliar sensation of pleasure.
"Oh Jackson" he muttered, lost in his world of confusion. In his mind and his heart it was his one true love
Jackson that he was holding, kissing and loving. The words stung Flynn's ears, but he tried not to respond.
Aaron opened his eyes abruptly and pulled back. He looked at Flynn's concerned face and pushed him off with a
force that sent him lunging backwards, hitting his shoulder on the bedside table.
Aaron made a dash for the door, grabbing his clothes and shoes as he made his escape.
He continued to run through the night, his shirt bundled in his fist, until he could no longer catch his breath.
He slumped where he was against a wall, slid to the wet ground and held his head in his hands as the rain fell.
Just a few minutes later, his abandoned friend arrived, breathless and clutching his side. He stopped short of the
desolate figure hunched in the street, not really sure whether to approach him or not.
Finally he spoke, "Aaron, I'm sorry; whatever happened in there, I'm sorry. I wish I could help you"
Aaron looked up at him, his face distorted with anguish, "Well you can't! No-one can!" he spat.
"Wont you let me try?" offered the determined man.
Aaron's tone was still aggressive. "Oh yeah and how do you think you can do that then?"
Flynn sighed; he actually had no idea. He crouched against the wall next to his friend and together they gazed at
the ground.
A quietness fell between them and as Flynn continued to stare at the floor, he noticed what looked like paint
trickling, mixing with the rain. He focused on it more closely and jerked forward as he realised that Aaron was
purposely scraping his knuckles along the gravel road. Flynn looked in horror at his friends pinched face and
gritted teeth, clearly fighting the pain. He realised that he was deliberately hurting himself!
"Aaron!" exclaimed the shocked man and grabbed his bleeding hand "Oh Aaron" he repeated helplessly. He
didn't have any idea what he could do to help his friend. He didn't know anything about this kind of thing.
Aaron was usually very careful to keep these behaviours hidden, but he hadn't expected Flynn to follow him.
The pain ripped through him and as the blood seeped from his damaged skin, Aaron immediately began to feel
better. He threw back his head, banging it against the wall behind.
He blew out his cheeks and turned to look at his frightened friend."'Sorry," he muttered to him, "you weren't
meant to see that."
The sheer depth of Aaron's desperation was quickly becoming clear to Flynn; he leaned over and held him. At first
Aaron tried to push him away; he felt ashamed, embarrassed and uncomfortable. But Flynn was determined not
to be pushed out. He mustered his strength and leaned toward the bigger man. He knew he would not
appreciate a kiss at this point, but he felt pretty certain he could reach him another way.
He returned his hand to where it had been just a short time ago, inside Aaron's pants and firmly took a hold of
his now softened member and began to massage it.
Aaron began to resist, but despite his smaller size Flynn remained steady and continued to work his hand until
he could once again feel a swelling.
Once it was sufficiently hard, Flynn leant over and pulled it into his mouth as far as he could reach and pulled
back slowly, stopping at the top to circle the tip with his tongue.
Aaron gulped, his resistance ebbing away. Flynn had always been able to make him feel good and tonight was
no exception. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, totally consumed by the raw
sensations. He pushed Flynn's head down as hard as he could.
"Harder Flynn, do it harder! I need to feel it!" The frustration was finally beginning to expel. Flynn gripped as
firmly as he dared. He did not want to hurt his lover, even if that is what he wanted.
They had always played a little rough in the past, but it was always Aaron who took the lead on that. Flynn had
a gentle loving nature and maybe that is what attracted Aaron without him realising. After all it was one of
qualities he had always loved in Jackson.
Aaron continued to push him downwards and in a very short time his orgasm erupted into Flynn's mouth. The
rain continued, the street was still cold and hard and neither man really felt much better.
Aaron stood up first and brushed himself down pulling his clothing straight; Flynn used the wall to pull himself up.
"Come back with me and dry off", he beckoned towards his home. "I can loan you a shirt"
Aimlessly Aaron followed and together they returned to Flynn's home. They went through to the bedroom and
Aaron flopped onto the bed. He still had a lot of pent up turmoil; he would grab some dry clothes and leave. He
wanted to be alone so that he could work on unleashing it. He still had the blade he had taken from Zak's
toolbox. He knew how to make himself feel better.
"Why don't you stay a while Aaron, at least until the rain stops" suggested his anxious friend. "I'll get us a
drink."
Usually Aaron would always leave, he always wanted to return to Jackson, but he didn't have that excuse
anymore and he could hardly disclose that he wanted to leave so that he could cut himself. He agreed to stay for
a drink and to change his clothes.
Flynn glanced over to his friend's grazed knuckles, unsure whether to offer First Aid or not. Aaron shot him a
glare as he turned his hand from view clearly indicating that he did not want it mentioned.
Flynn held up two shirts with a grin, "Blue or white? The blue is probably the bigger."
"Whatever" Aaron growled, as he snatched the blue. As he began to slide his arms into the sleeves, he could
feel Flynn's stare. Despite everything, Flynn could not stop himself fancying this rough and tough guy. He had
always been hugely turned on by him. He longed to reach out and hold him close, to try and ease his pain and
distress.
As his eyes lingered over his rugged friend's muscular physique, he suddenly caught sight of the partially healed
wounds across Aaron's abdomen. Some were newer than others, none were properly healed. Instinctively Flynn
reached out his hand to touch them.
"Oh Aaron" he sighed, already knowing what they were from.
He pulled Aaron into his arms and before he could object he kissed him firmly and passionately on the lips.
Aaron didn't struggle for long. He was tired, his strength and fight exhausted. It felt good to be cared about.
Aaron pushed his fingers into Flynn's slighter shoulders, secretly enjoying the soreness of his knuckles as he
flexed his hand.
Flynn was in good shape and as always smelled delicious. Aaron wanted more. The two men fell backwards onto
the bed and Flynn was expecting Aaron to take the lead at this point as he had always done in the past.
But this was a different Aaron and today he seemed content for Flynn to take the initiative. The smaller man
gently positioned himself on top and began to run his hands across Aaron's chest. For a while Flynn was quite
overcome with emotion, he had not expected that this would ever happen again.
Aaron soon became hard and ready and he grabbed at Flynn's also firm cock, gripping it tightly. "Fuck me Flynn"
he commanded.
This was not what Flynn was expecting but he was of course was very happy to oblige.
He rolled his handsome partner onto his front and gently took a hold of each buttock, pulling and stretching them
with his long fingers. He ran his hands along his spine, expertly massaging his way down. He licked and nibbled
at his supple flesh whilst Aaron whimpered softly.
He rubbed both shoulders with his outstretched palms, gently pushing his thumbs under the blades. Aaron's
back arched and flinched as Flynn nuzzled into his neck. No need to worry about leaving a mark as before and he
sucked as hard as he dared with Aaron moaning for him to do it harder.
He continued along the mechanic's back with his tongue and made his way in-between his moist cheeks, gently
pushing in the tip of his tongue.
Aaron groaned into the bed.
Flynn's erection was twitching, it was hard and wanting. He leaned over to the bedside drawer and pulled out
the lube. Aaron grabbed it from his hand but instead of helping to apply it, as Flynn thought, he flung the tube
across the room. "Fuck it Flynn, just fuck me!" he insisted impatiently.
With that, Flynn slid two fingers into his partner's mouth. "Make them wet" he ordered and Aaron obliged,
sucking and licking, gathering his spittle & letting it dribble from his mouth. He then took hold of his own erection
and began to rub himself as Flynn inserted the digits into his passage and gently worked them in as far as he
could reach. Aaron moaned and thrust himself forward and back.
"Do it, Flynn" Aaron pleaded.
There was an urgency in his tone that Flynn quickly picked up. He didn't argue and slowly removed his fingers.
Immediately he entered himself into the now softened opening as Aaron grimaced.
Flynn could feel the tightness around his organ, the blood pounding through his dorsal vein. It was hot and really
not lubricated enough. Gratification flooded rapidly into his balls, buttocks and thighs.
He took hold of Aaron's shoulders, squeezing them and working his way again to his neck, sliding his fingers
through his short prickly hair. He pushed himself in a little further, slowly easing his position. With just a little
more pressure he felt his cock reach its maximum and he thrust forward. He knew he was hurting Aaron and
gently pulled to and fro to help him through the initial discomfort. But Aaron was relentless;
"Harder Flynn" he called "Fuck me like you mean it."
It went against Flynn's gentleness. He wanted some tenderness and loving and meaning. But of course he was
very used to Aaron's brusqueness and he was well aware of the deal.
He plunged himself in as hard as he could, pulling in and out stronger and faster; carefully easing his foreskin as
it stretched.
Aaron was almost through the barrier; he gasped and tensed and now Flynn could feel him starting to relax. He
slowed the pace a little, his own breathing heavy by now. He moved his hands down to his partners hips,
reaching around his thighs to his throbbing erection and swollen balls; he pushed Aarons hand away and took
over his pleasuring. Aaron moaned, putting his own hand back to help and they rocked in unison.
The smarting had gone now for Aaron and his muscles relaxed, but it was still tight and hugely erotic each time
he felt Flynn thrust forward. Both men were panting and Flynn continued to suck on Aaron's neck, gently this
time, more sensually and Aaron was clearly enjoying it. Very soon Aaron was ready to orgasm. The two lovers
clung tightly to each other.
"Hold on, I'm almost there" breathed Flynn feverously pumping a few more times and together they released
their cum. A frantic exodus of scalding lust and carnality.
Flynn didn't dare move; he was always unsure how Aaron would react afterwards. Eventually Aaron rolled over,
gathering his thoughts hastily. He eased Flynn away from him. Their naked skin tacky with an interfusion of
sweat and semen.
"Shall we shower?" Flynn asked softly after a few moments. Aaron so badly wanted a shower, but that would be
getting too close to his lover. It was just sex, nothing more, nothing less.
"No I have to leave" Aaron responded. Of course he didn't; they both knew that, but nothing more was said.
Aaron grabbed his still damp shirt and wiped up the worst of the mess from himself and gathered up the rest of
his clothes including the blue shirt that Flynn had loaned him.
"That's only a loan" Flynn grinned "I want it back."
"Whatever" Aaron grunted.
Flynn ran his fingers softly across Aaron's raw knuckles, "I'm always here you know" he urged his friend. "Anytime."
Aaron nodded. "Yeah" he uttered as he turned and left.
As he wandered out into the cool night he let out a deep sigh and watched his hot breath filter into the early
morning mist. Yes his hand was sore, so too his neck, in fact he was feeling pretty beaten up all over.
Would he ever feel better than this? He seriously doubted it, as his thoughts once again turned to his beloved
Jackson." Damn you Jay!" he cursed into the air "I miss you!"
He looked back at Flynn's door. He knew he would return.. he always did. He knew there would never be a magic
fix, but at least for now he decided, Flynn was a much better option than the blade he kept carefully wrapped in
his pocket.
He knew he needed to change that.
He pulled it out, gazed for a few seconds at the glisten of the blade and walked over to a nearby grate. One last
touch with his damaged fingers and he gently let it slip between the bars and splash into the drain below.
'Okay Flynn', he mused, 'it's over to you now.'
