Pass It Along! It's back! You thought you could defeat it, but YOU WERE WRONG! Now it's squeakier, cuddlier, shinier, and better tasting than ever! And the best part is, with this lovely new prose format, it ACTUALLY FOLLOWS THE RULES! Imagine that! My first fic, digitally remastered in newfangled technicolor... it's a beautiful thing. And yes, my friends... the saga WILL continue!
I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, Chia Pets, Tic-tacs, or Enzyte, blah blah blah, written for entertainment purposes only, blah blah blah, made no money. Actually, I probably lost some money writing this... ahh well, cover the cost of an Evan & Jaron CD and a 2-liter of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper (the Cola with the Longest Name) and we'll call it even. Whaddaya say?
Oh, and just so you know, I only pick on Zell because I love him. (cuddles) That applies to everyone else, too. If I don't like someone, you can tell. I portray them as crazy elderly fanboys who get their butts stuck in windows.
Erm... and without further ado, enjoy the fic!
Pass It Along
Chapter 1: A Notebook is Born
Laguna Loire was a busy man. As the president of Esthar, he had many tasking duties to attend to, such as looking important while sitting in a big leather chair that squeaked every time he moved. It was he, and he alone, who could save the country from the menace of skyrocketing Triple Triad booster pack prices. Not only that, but it was also his sole responsibility to water and care for the Presidential Chia Pet Zoo.
Oh yeah, he was busy all right... busy being BORED! So when the day finally arrived when the wrinkled-yet-still-surprisingly-attractive ex-soldier had an idea, he ran with it with more enthusiasm than was probably necessary. It had come on him suddenly; an empowering avalanche of lightbulb-lighting inspiration.
"Whoah! Man!" Laguna exclaimed, kicking his feet off the top of his desk and scrambling into an upright position. "I just had the greatest idea! I'll write a story about Squall! Such a sweet little boy... oh, wait, he's a teenager now..."
It was then that his excitement began to fade. How could he write a story about someone he barely even knew?
"Hey, wait, I know!" Laguna thought, "I'll ask Squall to tell me a little bit about himself! And his friends can help too! They can keep all their notes in a book! Oooh! Even better—in a NOTE-book! I am a GENIUS!" Laguna chuckled to himself and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "No WONDER I'm the president..."
"Let's see," he mumbled, "Dear Squall, ..."
It was 3:00 in the morning (Balamb time) when Squall was greeted with the familiar electronic announcement, "You've got mail!" The young commander blinked his bloodshot eyes and minimized the internet quiz that was supposedly going to tell him what flavor he would be if he were a Tic-tac.
"Oh boy," he murmured, checking his already overflowing mail box. He expected another 'Garden Festival Committee Emergency Update' from Selphie, or maybe another message offering him a free trial package of Enzyte. Either way, he wasn't jumping for joy, not wanting the former and not needing the latter. "...the hell?" Squall mumbled, "An e-mail titled Pass It Along from dudew/agun at esthar dot com? Who's that supposed to be? Irvine's address is studmaster at g-garden dot com, so it can't be him... unless he changed it... though I can't see why he would. Oh well. Click." The swordsman took a moment to wonder why he was talking to himself. To tell you the truth, Squall being so prone to introspection, he couldn't even remember if he had been talking out loud or merely thinking to himself. The lack of sleep certainly wasn't helping him keep his mind straight, that's for sure.
Dear Squall,
Hiya! This is Daddy, sport!
Squall smacked himself on the forehead. " Geez, what's his problem?"
Well, I was bored so I decided to write a story about you. But since, well, I don't really know you much, I figured you and your friends could help. So, write down stuff about yourself in a notebook or something, and make sure to have your friends help you! I know you're busy with becoming a SeeD and all... oh wait, that was a long time ago... never mind! But I'm sure you'll be busy with other stuff, too. Tell me how it's goin' after awhile, ok? Love, Laguna
"...Whatever. That was pathetic." He was about to hit delete when a familiar high-pitched voice stopped him.
"Aww, nuh-uh! I thought it was sweet!"
Squall's cobalt blue eyes shot open as he looked up, only to see Selphie reading over his shoulder.
"GAH!" the commander jumped up, pointing an accusing finger at the brunette, "What are you- How did you get in here!" He had the right to be startled too, being clad in naught but his boxers.
"How'd I get in? By walking, silly! I can't fly! Well, not normally..."
"I keep my door locked." Squall grunted through gritted teeth. "And how'd you get into my room before the SeeD party, too, eh? You some sort of... flippy-haired, sugar-high, stalker or something?" He waved his hands to try and demonstrate his point, but combined with his dazed, tired look, he just ended up looking drunk.
"Nooo, I'm not a stalker! Irvy taught me how to pick locks with a hair pin!"
"And I'm sure he's really good at it. Now go away."
"Aww, c'mon! Don't be such a meanie! I just wanted to help with Sir Laguna's story!" Her eyes flickered toward Squall's underwear. "Moombas, I see."
Shoving a notebook and feathery pink pen into Selphie's hands, Squall forced her back towards the door.
"Get out, and STAY OUT!"
"But-"
"WRITE!" He slammed the door in her face.
The petite SeeD flipped open the notebook, sighing. "Geez, that's all I wanted in the first place..." She started to write, and squealed in delight at the pink , bubble-gum scented ink. "Where'd Squall get this pen?"
Squall's door flew open.
"And not a WORD about the moombas, GOT IT, CADET?"
Hiya! This is Selphie! Squall told me I could start writing stuff so I am! Booyaka! Okay... Well, Squall's a nice enough guy, but he can be cranky sometimes! Oh! Hey, guess what—Squall wears Moomba underwear! Tee-hee! Isn't that cute? Hmm... oh well, I don't know what else to write, so I guess I'll give the notebook to someone else tomorrow. Or, today, actually, cause it's past midnight! Tee-hee! Bye-bye!
Author's notes:
For some reason, when I had the character's e-mail addresses typed out normally, they did not show up! I didn't realize it for a while either. Sorry! I guess that made the beginning a littleconfusing. But yeah, that's why the addresses are typed out the way they are. Anyway, please review!
