"New vibes"

It was a November night, it was winter and weather was so cold. I was coming home from the recording studio. Simon was the guitarist of my band, he decided to take me home. It was already 22 p.m., he didn't want to let me go alone. He always told me that it was dangerous for a girl, to take a taxi in New York. You never know who you might be with. Once at home, I took off my clothes and decided to take a shower, I was so tired. I really needed a hot shower. Even in that moment, my mind wandered and wandered, I remembered him. I felt a shiver through my back, my vision was blurred. I immediately got out of the shower and took the bathrobe. I could not think of him, not now. I had to concentrate, I had to do more. He neither considered me. "Yeah, he's not probably thinking of me," thought aloud. And right at the same time, the display of my phone lighted up. It was him. "Hi, Emily! I just wanted you to know that tomorrow I'll be busy. Julie asked me to go with her to choose a dress for a party… I'm sorry." Yeah, Julie… I had almost forgotten about her. She was so beautiful and attractive. Tall, skinny, long brown hair and hazel eyes. The classic girl to screw with. That's why he liked her, I could never be good enough for him. We were just friends, nothing more. I realized that with thousand thoughts, had become midnight but I was no sleepy. I wanted to read a good book, "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. It also began to rain. I found relaxing read with the sound of rain. It was 7 o' clock and the alarm sounded. I had to hurry because I should've been in the studio recording songs for my album. I could not leave my warm and comfortable bed and meanwhile was already 7:50 a.m. I went immediately to the bathroom to wash and dress up but the doorbell rang. "Shit! This is Simon. He'll kill me if he'll see me still in pajamas!"They continued to ring the bell, it was hard to me to answer since I had my mouth full of toothpaste. "Just a minute! I'm ccroming!"I went to the door anyway, basically Simon had already seen me in pajamas. I opened the door and I had a sinking heart. It wasn't Simon. It was him, Norman. I could barely believe it. "But should he have been with Julie?!" I thought to myself. "I caught you in the wrong time?" He said laughing. I was embarrassed, and in pajamas and… With the mouth covered with toothpaste! I could barely speak but I told him stammering: "Nope. Come on in."He looked around and continued to smile. "So this is your home. I love these paintings. My house is full of paintings. You know, painting is my passion. I'd stay for hours to paint something." I was so attracted by his way of speaking and his way of doing. And I loved his passion: paint. Besides painting, he's a lover of photography. He's a real artist. "I know that I sent you a message telling you that I was busy with Julie but.. I didn't want to go shopping with her. I wanted to see you." With those words, my heart began to beat faster, almost couldn't breathe but in a sarcastic tone, I told him: "Whoa! Someone's not like shopping!" I mentioned a smile. I liked to tease him. "Why did you want to see me?" I asked him embarrassed. "Well.. I was thinking about exposure night. You were there with your friend. All I do is think about the time when I approached you. You looked so curious about those paintings. You know, I like art lovers. Four months have passed since then. I'm sorry if I have never showed up but you know… I was busy working." He looked at me and pulled off his black leather jacket a packet of cigarettes. "Do you mind if…?" I could not stand the smoke but I liked to see him smoking. "Yeah, go ahead."Then there was a deathly silence. We looked us. Next, I realized that I was late. Simon and the others would've killed me. "I'm so sorry but I am late. I have to run to the recording studio, sorry." Actually I wanted to stay with him, even just to look at him in silence. He came up and gave me a kiss on the cheek. My cheeks became red now, there had never been a physical contact between the two of us. "Don't worry. Would you like to hang out for a coffee? Maybe this afternoon?" I replied without thinking twice. "Sure! I would." He greeted me and walked away, leaving the smell of his cigarette lingered in my home. He was so strange but he attracted me. Hell if he attracted me. I never expected to see him again today, but I thought that since that moment I'd not see him again. I put on my dark skinny jeans, a bare midriff tee and a pair of grey Converse. I left the house and took the first taxi near there. Half an hour late. Simon was waiting for me sitting on the bench at the study entrance and as soon as he saw me, he stood up and came towards me. "The hell, Emily! What happened to you?! I called you at least hundred times! Where were you? C'mon, let's record." We walked into the recording studio, I went to the toilet and I realized to have messy hair. "How the hell I left home?! Oh my God…" An usual side braid, I didn't like loose hair at all. Today we'd recorded three songs of the album, entitled "Expired Love". That day I felt so energetic, maybe because of Norman. He made me feel like this. The songs "Dad says", "Be good" and "Doctor" were recorded. How I loved to sing about my life, about my experiences. I was searching for a little bit of inspiration for other songs. Maybe I had some ideas. The day in the studio was finished, I greeted the band and went home. In the afternoon, Norman and I would've to hang out for a coffee. I still cannot believe. But what he would say to Julie? That he would come out with a friend? Maybe he even thought about it, she was in her early twenties. I didn't think that he cared much about her. Every time that I was thinking about them together, something inside me was unleashed. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe I wanted him to be just my man. But what was happening to me? I was really falling in love for him? And then that kiss on my cheek.. It was a simple thing but my legs were shaking and my heart too. It made me feel on cloud nine. I was in the tram, lost in my thoughts. I didn't realize that my stop was overrun. I got up and went over to the next stop. But where my head was? Norman.. I felt him inside of me, he had become part of my thoughts from a little time but I did anything to deny it to myself. I didn't want to fall in love, I didn't want to suffer. He will never be interested in someone like me and he's looking for one night stands. I went home, it was 16 p.m. I consumed a quick snack and the display of my phone lighted up again. It was Norman. We would meet at 17 o'clock at The Street Cafè. I was so agitated, so I took a hot bath. I didn't know what to wear. A cute outfit? Or something casual? I wore a black t-shirt paired with black leggings and a pair of brown boots. In the meantime, it was 17 p.m. I walked to the Street Cafè waiting for him. I was so nervous that I knocked the fingertips on the table. They spent about fifteen minutes and Norman wasn't there. I became more nervous, maybe he had forgotten the appointment? Yeah, I wasn't so important for him, he even knew me. After a few minutes, he sent me a message: "I can't be there. I'm with a friend for a photo shoot, I'm so sorry. Bye." I didn't know what to say. I was a little bit sad but at the same time, I knew it would end like this. "Do you want to order something?" I took my usual coffe, sitting at the tables of the bar alone, as always.