Come Fly with me
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad;s wife.
Loosely based on "Du tout cuit" January 1990
Why I'm not exactly looking forward to Ducktales Two, much as I would love to:
Ducktales Two: what Disney may do, in order of probable probability.
1) Disney has no intention of bringing back Ducktales, they are just yanking my chain. Since it's not 2017 yet, that's still possible. Bet it wouldn't be the first time Disney announced it was going to do something it had zero intention of actually doing. ("Somebody died." "We got sued and hit with a cease and desist order." "There was a fire." "The dog ate our homework.")
2) Disney is going to bring back what came before Ducktales, the Carl Barks/Don Rosa Launchpadless stuff. Which I could ignore and live with.
3)Disney is going to bring back something else, probably Disney Afternoon OTHER than Ducktales. Rescue Rangers, DW, Gummy Bears, anything but Ducktales. Ignore and live with.
4) Disney will bring back Ducktales and make Launchpad out to be a complete and total incompetent moron.(Or marry him off. Or kill him off. Or decide that he's gay.) I will declare him fake and ignore it. I am assuming he is a fake Launchpad until proven otherwise.
5) Disney will actually drop the Launchpad is a moron just to see if I might actually be right and make oodles and oodles of money off of him. Nah. They're making too much money of of "Frozen" to need to. ( The "Little Mermaid" movie came out in the 80's. That made oodles of money and they still had Ducktales.)
6) Disney will just show remastered episodes of the original Ducktales instead.
While 5 is the possibility I'm hoping for, there are too many other thing Disney could do that are SO much more fun. (Deep Sarcasm)
Mr. McDuck's success with hatching passenger pigeons led to him raising other rare birds for zoos or to be released to the wild. The latter led to a problem: how to teach the birds how to fly without risking losing them? So he asked Launchpad a question : "Do you still have those wings of yours? The ones you actually flew on?"
"Sure. I still fly on them. I think people consider it cheating because they contain just enough helium to counteract their weight, but heck, they work. Why?" Launchpad asked.
"I want you to teach some baby birds how to fly. You know those rare birds I've been raising, the ones you deliver food to? I'm releasing some back into the wild. " Mr. McDuck began.
"But I can't do that if they don't know how to fly, they'll never survive. You volunteered to feed the birds so the birds know you and trust you. " Mr McDuck replied " Take those wings of yours and teach the birds I entrust you with to fly."
So Launchpad went to his oldest and largest hanger. It was in need of repairs, cleaning and painting. Launchpad took everything out of the hanger. Also he made sure there were no holes the birds could fly out of. And then he removed the floorboards which needed replacement.
Only then did Launchpad go back for the young birds. Launchpad locked the doors and windows. Launchpad released the birds. They milled around the hanger, curious.
Launchpad strapped on the wings. And flew around the hanger from one end to the other and back. The birds just watched. Launchpad swooped down and chased them until they panicked and tried to fly.
Launchpad stopped chasing them and flew in front of them. Launchpad opened his hand, revealing some bird food and shook it so it rattled.
The birds followed him or at least the bird food. Launchpad tossed a little bird food at the closest flying birds. Launchpad did this until all the birds had flown across the hanger a few time. Then Launchpad landed, fed them and praised them.
When Launchpad thought he could count of the birds following him, he flew to where Mr. McDuck intended to release them, right smack in the middle of the wildlife sanctuary.
The boundary of the sanctuary was too far away for the young birds to fly. Launchpad made sure the birds had learned to fly and learned to find food. Then Launchpad left them in the middle of the sanctuary.
Weeks flew by. One day, Launchpad was delivering a rare animal to the sanctuary. After he unloaded it and delivered it, Launchpad was told NOT to take off, there was a bad wind storm going on back in Duckburg and all flights into (and out) Duckburg were canceled.
So Launchpad decided to see how "his" birds were getting along. They were doing just fine. However, they recognized and remembered him.
After a nice leisurely lunch in the sanctuary's cafe, Launchpad headed back to his plane. Launchpad checked in with the officials to hear the storm had past and he could come home now. So Launchpad prepped the plane and was about to take off when his cell phone rang.
"LAUNCHPAD! Head back to Duckburg THIS minute! Magica Despell and those blasted Beagles are after me Bin!" Mr. McDuck yelled, nearly deafening Launchpad.
"What about Gizmoduck?" Launchpad asked.
Heck, protecting the Bin is Giz's job and NOT Launchpad's.
"Magica projected some kind of illusion of herself flying over the Bin on her broomstick. Giz flew on his jet pack to stop her, not realizing there was a wind storm going on. Magica made the wind worse than it was already..." Mr. McDuck began.
"And jet packs are hard to steer. Is... Giz OK?" Launchpad asked, stopping himself from calling Giz "Fenton".
"He will be fine in a few days, but he's not in any shape to protect the Bin right now. So get here, already!" Mr. McDuck replied.
"I'm on my way!" Launchpad replied. (1)
So Launchpad got in his plane and took off for Duckburg...not realizing the rare birds were now following their "Daddy".
Launchpad plane was soon heading towards the Money Bin. Duckblur was tackling the Beagles, moving seemingly at super speed . Duckblur slowed to normal speed to scan for more Beagles.
Then, Ma Beagle jumped down from a window, right on top of Duckblur. Duckblur was knocked unconscious before she could use her time powers. Then the other Beagles jumped on Duckblur and tied her up.
Magica was attacking the Money Bin. The ordinary Security Guards fired at her, but they kept missing her. Magica rode her broomstick high in the air, in an erratic fashion with no pattern to it. Then Magica saw Launchpad's plane approaching, saw Mr. McDuck's dollar sign on the plane.
"Must be that idiot McQuack. Well, I caused his planes to crash (2) and I can again." Magica said.
Luckily, before Magica could cast a spell at Launchpad's plane, causing it to crash, those rare birds realized that the nasty lady intended to harm their "daddy".
The birds flew at Magica and pecked her mercilessly. Somehow, Magica couldn't cast that spell, she couldn't concentrate properly.
"Poe! Ratface! Attack these fools!" Magica commanded her brother, changed into a raven and her familiar, (3) always a raven.
However, the two birds could understand the rare birds.
"She's trying to hurt our daddy! Fed us! Taught us to fly! Hurt her FIRST!" the rare birds explained.
"Magica, sister- they say that Launchpad raised them, fed them, taught them to fly- they can no more let you hurt him than I could permit somebody to harm YOU. He is family to them, as you are to me." Poe translated.
"So? Attack them anyway! Don't tell me you choose THEM over ME?" Magica ordered.
Launchpad flew his plane between Magica and the birds, to shield them. I, flying my plane, joined Launchpad in doing so. I also hit my alarm button: a siren and flashing lights went off, scaring off the birds.
"Fine! The birds are safe! But you can't stop me from getting at the Lucky Dime without Gizmoduck! I'll use my magic to split the Bin side open!" Magica claimed.
As if summoned, Gizmoduck appeared.
"What? Well, I've stopped you before!" Magica said.
And she tried to zap Giz, as she zapped him before. Only nothing she did seemed to hurt him one bit. The g-suit was badly damaged, dent, but kept on coming, kept on fighting.
()() What's going on here? Fenton's been hurt! Who's in the g-suit? Don't tell me that kid sister of mine...()() Launchpad wondered.
Launchpad turned on his fire hose on Magica.
"Fool! I don't melt in water!" Magica said.
"Not even HOT water?" Launchpad asked.
And the water he aimed at Magica kept getting hotter and hotter till Magica had to retreat lest she be scalded.
This struck me as a fine idea, I did likewise...only being a tad less kindhearted than Launchpad (especially when dealing with a no-goodnik like Magica) started out with VERY hot water.
Finally, Magica retreated.
"I've had enough for today! I quit for now!" Magica said, retreating.
That's the only thing you can do with Magica: Inconvenience her until she gets disgusted and gives up.
Launchpad and I landed our planes, and Giz landed next to a parked car. Inside the car was a bandaged up Fenton, the gizmosuit's remote control in his hands.
"I handed this one by remote control. It has some advantages, I can't be hurt if I'm not in the g-suit...but I have to keep a VERY close eye on this thing. Don't want the bad guys to get their paws on it, like the Beagles once did." Fenton said.
We returned the rare birds to the sanctuary. Poe followed us.
"You were kind to these birds, I will help them now." Poe said.
Poe introduced the birds to birds of the same species, but of the opposite gender. Somehow, the rare birds did NOT follow us home. Poe went home to Magica before his sister noticed he was absent.
The End.
I miss Dick Tracy and his Gould-ish villains.
Lots of times. May have led to Launchpad's HIGHLY Mistaken image as a crash-prone pilot, despite the inconvenient fact nobody has even been the slightest bit hurt in these "crashes". Despite the fact there is not much left of the PLANE after Magica is done with it.
(3) I at first thought that Poe and Ratface were the same raven, and that "Ratface" was the sort of "term of endearment" a sister might call her brother. I was wrong, Ratface was always a raven. I'm guessing that Ratface is Magica's familiar.
