The Fox and the Hound
"Well, Falco, the day has come."
"What day?"
"The day when my greatest enemy showed up."
"You mean Andross?"
"No, Falco, my greatest enemy."
"Wolf? I thought he was a rival, not a-"
"No, you twat, my greatest enemy!"
"…you lost me."
Falco watched Fox throw up his arms in exasperation and begin pacing around the bridge of Great Fox. Out in the sea of stars he could see the Lylat system go by, or at least, this reality's equivalent of the Lylat system. Further on he could see a giant star with eyeballs waving at him, daring him to go for temporary invincibility.
Like I need that.
But what he did need was an explanation for Fox's sudden aggravation.
"ROB, hit it."
And he got it as the viewscreen was represented with an image of a dog and duck. Both of them looking like those strange creatures from other worlds – four legs, no clothes, and looking as harmless as Pichu.
"There," Fox said, gesturing to his fellow pilot. "My greatest enemy."
"…you're afraid of ducks?"
"Argh!" Fox picked up a laser pointer and pointed it at the dog. "That thing is." He took in a deep breath. "The Duck Hunt Dog. A hound."
Falco remained silent this time. Under normal circumstances, he'd mock Fox for any fear on his part. It's what friends did – yeah, Slippy and Peppy might call him a jackass, but he was the best pilot on this team, thank you very much, and being the jackass of the group was part of his job description. But this? He had no idea how to mock Fox when Fox was apparently intent on mocking himself.
"He's a hound," Falco's fellow pilot said. "And I'm a fox. Natural enemies, regardless of the dimension."
"Um…" Falco trailed off. He knew of at least one dimension where that wasn't true. There'd been a fox and a hound there too – a mouse visiting from the Infinities multiverse had shown it to him while collecting pointers on how to abduct heroes from time and space to participate in his own trials. He'd even given Master Hand a high five.
"So then," Fox asked. "What's our plan of attack?"
"You tell me," Falco said. He took a seat by the jukebox. "It's your game now."
"What?"
"Master Hand wouldn't let me back in. I tried talking to Mewtwo, but he's been shut out as well." He shrugged. "No prob as far as I'm concerned. While you're getting your arse handed to you, I get to stay on the biggest, baddest ship in the entire multiverse."
Fox glared at him. And he might have done much more if not for a strange sound. A strange, sniggering sound.
What the heck?
The dog. It had a hand to its mouth, and was chuckling. Oh, it didn't sound like chuckling, but Falco knew contained laughter when he saw it. And also the words FLY AWAY.
"Is that a threat?" Fox yelled. "Is he threatening me?"
"No, I think it's just-"
"Oh," said Fox, reaching for his pistol. "It. Is. On."
Yep, thought Falco to himself. I can enjoy sitting this one out.
Fox was now firing at the screen. And missing. A lot.
Yep. Definitely.
