I opened my eyes to see his perfect face staring back at me. The soft curve of his lips, perked now into that crooked smile I love. The sharp angles of his jaw and cheekbones; his hair, with that forever wind blown look that is simply flawless, lightly sprinkled with droplets from the misting rain that was coming down. God, he was gorgeous...even in my hallway.
His eyes, my favorite feature, I saved for last. As always. "You're going to have to remember to breathe this time, Bells," I told myself. "Okay, deep breath." The fiery passion I found stole my heart, not that he didn't have it already. His irises, a creamy butterscotch color, and only the slightest remnants of the purplish shadow below his thick black lashes. Feeling lightheaded, I actually remembered to breathe.
"How was your afternoon?" Edward asked in his perfect, musical voice.
"Lonely," I replied, slightly dazed by his scent as he pulled me close and wrapped his stone cold arms around my torso. "You're back early. I'm glad," I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I couldn't have stayed away much longer. I would have missed you too much. Also, I was worried about you. What, with Charlie gone for the weekend, and me hunting with Jasper and Emmett, who KNOWS what kind of bodily harm could have been inflicted accidentally," he exclaimed, with a pained expression. His eyebrows relaxed a bit and the worry on his face vanished as he searched mine. I pressed my lips to the cold hollow at the base of his neck and inhaled his scent, wishing I could stay wrapped in his arms forever.
"I was careful today," I said with a smirk. "I didn't even break a nail washing Mount Laundry."
"Well, that's reassuring," he said, a true, dazzling smile widening across his face. He untwined his arm from my waist and gently ran his fingers up my arm. I shivered. How did he DO that? I pulled myself closer to him (if that were possible), wishing I could crush my body to his, mold us together, like clay. My lips searched his throat eagerly.
He tilted my chin up and brushed his lips across my jaw line, light as a feather. My pulse quickened and getting enough air seemed impossible. His careful hands cradled my head as if it were something delicate, and compared to him and his family of vampires, I was extremely delicate.
His lips wandered down my neck and across the hollow above my collarbone. Again, I shivered, and I wanted his lips to crash into mine. I NEEDED them.
Almost as if he could read my thoughts, he worked his way back up my neck, and whispered on the corner of my mouth, "A little impatient, are we?" His scent was intoxicating and it made my mouth water. His ice cold lips quivered, just enough for me to know he was suppressing a smile.
I couldn't wait any longer. I shaped my mouth to his and tangled my fingers into his hair. "Down, down the Rabbit Hole," I thought. He did not try to pull away, and he kissed me back in earnest. Like I had tried only once before, I ran the tip of my tongue along the edge of his bottom lip. Had I gone too far? I felt his smile and waited for my personal heaven to end.
To my astonishment, it didn't. Instead of pushing me away, he held my body tighter, in a vice grip, lips moving almost violently against mine. My pulse was racing and his cold touch felt like I was being burned. This wasn't like a kiss we had had too many times before: the I-don't-know-when-I'll-see-you-again kiss. This was exhilarating and purely out of delight.
Regrettably, I broke for air, head spinning and knees weak. I didn't want to pass out on him like I had too many times before. We both gasped, he just as much out of breath as I. I waited for my heart to stop knocking against my ribs. It wasn't going so well. I searched his face, trying to decipher what he was feeling. He looked a little disappointed that I had broken our welded lips, but he smiled crookedly and my heart skipped a beat.
He chuckled and kissed me again, with more urgency than before. "And down again fell Bella. Down, down the Rabbit Hole," my brain said. Only this was better. This was heaven...almost.
2: The DecisionUntil the phone rang. He broke first, releasing my hair and trailing his fingers up my arms, still around his neck, to break my tight grip. I let go, grudgingly, and answered the insane ringing.
"Hey, Kiddo!" It was Charlie, obviously checking up on me. He had left the night before and despite his incessant invitations, I turned him down, claiming a crazy homework load. It wasn't really all that bad. I just wanted to stay with Edward, for one, and two, I didn't like the idea of fishing and seeing Jacob again for the first time since the invitations were sent out. He was probably furious if he was home at all.
"Hi, dad. Catch anything yet?"
"Not yet. But it's still early. The weather is just about right. They'll bite eventually."
Edward stiffened at hearing Charlie say "bite," gauging my expression. I still hadn't told Charlie about the engagement and Edward figured it was because I was afraid of my "transition." But he was totally and completely wrong. I wanted nothing more than to spend my "life" with Edward, and the Cullen family. I was just afraid Charlie would not approve and threaten to keep me away from them. I knew he meant well, but I wouldn't be able to stand being apart from Edward and his family. Not again. But he didn't trust Edward (for obvious reasons).Hiss heart was in the right place though.
I snapped out of my own little world to say, "Well, okay. Have fun and say hello to Billy and the rest of the pack." Whoops! Had I really said "pack?" Did he notice?
"Will do, Kiddo. Don't forget to get out the Clearwater fish fry for me. I've got a feeling we're gonna have a boatful today."
"Alright," I sighed. "Bye, dad."
"See ya tomorrow, Bells," he chuckled, and hung up. Meanwhile, Edward searched my face, as if trying to get into my brain.
"You haven't told him yet." He wasn't asking. I shrugged.
"Well, no, but I will soon. Promise," I said with indifference. "I was hoping he'd just worth of figure it out." Edward's eyes narrowed.
"I think he'd much rather hear it straight from you than through the grapevine, Bella." He was reprimanding me, though not angrily. I hadn't told Charlie because of his "restraining order" threats, but also because it felt even more final than the ring, and the announcements, and my dress from Alice and everything. I hadn't told Renee yet either. That was a battle I didn't want to go through over the phone or through email, though it would probably be easier.
"I know it would mean more, but I thought that could tell him together. I mean, it is our wedding, not just mine." I couldn't believe I had said the "w" word. Oh my god! "Or maybe Alice could tell him. You know how much he likes her," I stammered.
"Bella," Edward took my hands and held them tight. "I know you want to make everyone happy, but to put it simply, you must first worry about us. Then worry about what other people think, though it shouldn't matter. I think you should tell Charlie, and if you want me there with you, I'll be there, holding your hand for strength. But only if that's what you really want," he said, trying to capture my wandering eyes with his.
"Yes. That's what I'd like to happen," I mumbled. My gaze shifted down. Edward kissed the top of my head and I flushed. Damn! Was I ever going to get a hold of myself when he touched me?
3: KissesWithout realizing it, I snaked my arms around his neck again, pulling him closer. He reached up and traced my cheek with his fingertips. The simple gesture of affection sent chills down my spine as I clung to his perfect body, almost like my life depended on it.
Edward's wandering fingers ran along my jaw and behind my ear, and coming to rest at the top of my neck. His other arm pulled me in by the waist. Oh, please, PLEASE kiss me again, I thought. His lips formed a quick smirk and brushed my own so lightly that had I not been holding on to him, I wouldn't have noticed that he had moved an inch.
My stupid human hormones kicked in and I kissed him with such a passion that he froze for a moment. I quickly released him, knowing I had crossed the carefully drawn lines, expecting the worst. I glanced at his face and what I saw there was devious and inviting. The fiery gleam in his eyes told me I should be ready for anything. I couldn't decide whether to attach myself to him again or to back away for my own safety.
In the blink of an eye, Edward scooped me up in his arms and whisked me to my bedroom. Apparently, I wasn't going to die today, but I had a feeling that I was going to enjoy myself.
As soon as I felt my bed beneath me, I also felt Edward's lips make icy contact with my now blazing skin. He wandered my neck, along my shoulder, across my collar bone, the hollow at the base of my neck and back again. I gasped as his icy tongue ran under my jawbone. His intoxicating breath tickled my cheek as he silently laughed at my reaction to his "crossing the line."
"Now for the fun," he whispered menacingly. My heart was trying to burst out of my chest as he brought his icy lips to mine. It was almost as if there was an electric charge between us. My fumbling human fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him close, not relenting. I felt his lips curve into a little smile while he took my breath away. He abruptly rolled to the side, pulling me with him.
Now, with me on top, Edward's lips never left my skin. He trailed slow and deliberate kisses across my cheek, over my jaw and down my neck. I frantically gasped for air. Has he changed his mind about changing me? I thought, glad that he couldn't read me. I hoped he had. I hoped like hell.
I could feel his adrenaline pulsing with mine. I wanted this. I had wanted this since I had found out his secret. I wanted to stay with him for the rest of forever. His body tensed as I molded myself around him. Was this too much for him? He didn't push me away, but his lips froze for a millisecond. But then it was gone. He moved his lips roughly against mine, and ever so slightly ran the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip. It was like kissing an icicle. Only this icicle smelled amazing and made me weak at the knees. I felt every drop of passion as his tongue toyed with mine. Lips moving like mad, I wondered if this was as exhilarating for him as it was for me.
My fingers tangled in his hair, urging him closer to me, though it was if we were already one. I could feel every muscle, every curve, every breath from this beautiful creature, and I wished there was something I could do to read his thoughts. Were they racing and wondering like mine? I kissed him harder, and his gut-deep groan told me he felt exactly the same. His cold fingers pressed against my bare skin, beneath the light cotton of my shirt. Lips moving frantically, violently, I let a sigh escape. I had never felt so comfortable with anyone in my life. I'd never felt so turned on either.
We both gasped for air, not being able to get enough oxygen through to our pulsing minds and frantic muscles. God! I thought. I wish the compromise didn't involve waiting... I glanced up at Edward's face, trying to judge what I saw there. He had an angered expression on his face, but he didn't let me go. Was he mad at me for going almost too far? I blushed, thinking he was reprimanding me in his mind.
"Are you alright, Edward?" I whispered, afraid of what he was going to say. He glanced down at me, resting my chin on his perfectly carved chest.
"I'm better than alright. You have no idea how unbearably intriguing you are. I just wish..." He trailed off. I propped myself up and traced his perfect features with my fingertips, reassuringly.
"I understand that now what you mean by the excuse of being 'only human.' I love you so much, Edward..." I was planning to say more, but I lost my train of thought when his strong hands pulled my face back to his, kissing me in earnest. I would give up my everything for you Edward, I thought, wishing for a moment he could read my every idea.
4: IntrusionsIf he could read my mind, he could see how I truly would give up everything to be with him, I thought. I held his divine body to mine, grasping anything and everything. His hands glided gently along my skin, cold as snow as the electricity between us continued to pulse and our hands wandered aimlessly.
My lips trailed deliberately slow kisses down his neck to the collar of his shirt. How I wished that collar wasn't in my way.
His hands abruptly ran over my skin, drawing my hip, tracing my thigh. I shivered. It was the kind of shiver you get when something is to appealing, so intoxicating that you just NEED to have more.
I gasped for air that would not come fast enough as his icy lips made contact with my skin. By now, my frantic human heart was waging war with my ribcage, fluttering and skipping every other beat. I could feel Edward's perfect smile leaving a path along my collarbone. I didn't ever want my personal heaven to end.
My fingers tugged at his ivory shirt buttons. In a matter of seconds, his perfect stone chest was bare. He was so beautiful to look at that it was painful. Edward began to slow his pace, preparing to stop what I had already pushed too far. I hadn't gotten back to reality when he started to push me away.
"Okay, Bella. I think we should show some self control now. Though I have to admit, right now, this very moment, I want you more than ever," he smirked. "And not in the vampire way, either." I blushed. If he only knew, I thought. His tone of voice was sultry, sexy, and unbearable.
I figured since he would stop me anyway, I would go in for one more kiss. He didn't stop me, and the passion and urgency that took over my every fiber was exhilarating. For the brief moment, I didn't care about keeping promises, or carefully drawn boundaries. I didn't care what his family would say or even, and afterwards I felt a bit guilty, what Jacob thought. I was completely overcome by my lust for Edward Cullen and it was almost frightening.
Hands twisting in each others' hair, and gripping each other for dear life, our lips met in one hell of a rush. Edward was almost violent in his urge to keep me connected to him. I could only felt what he felt, and for a moment, I could almost hear the thoughts running through his mind. This will not end well. Maybe I should stop her. I should, but I don't want to. Only it was my thoughts that echoed his.
Taking a very dangerous risk, I traced his lips with my tongue and captured his bottom lip, sucking on it hard. He then turned to stone, and my heart thrashed against my ribs. I knew that was a bad idea, but my damn hormones went wild. I had crossed the line, and I didn't regret it at all, though I knew I should.
Edward untangled me from him and, gently, pushed me away. The look on his face was frightening, reminding me that he was indeed a vampire. This look took me back to that first day in biology, when I thought he hated me. I blinked and the look was gone. So was Edward. A little shell-shocked, I turned on my bed to find him standing a few feet from me, perfect chest bare, and the frightening look on his face replaced with a mixture of sadness and anger.
"So, you didn't change your mind?" I asked shakily.
"Bella, you know why it is better to wait. Let alone safer for both of us." He was upset with himself for not stopping the danger. I could tell he was hurt that I would push the limit, and I felt horrible now, seeing that I had caused him pain.
"Yeah, I know," I replied. Of course I knew. I just didn't want to say so. Edward froze. Then, with a speed that blurred his figure, he grabbed his blue button down shirt and dashed to the front door. There was only one person I knew who could have an effect of him that way. I tiptoed to the top of the stairs to see who it was, hoping I was dead wrong. Of course not, I thought. I glanced at Edward. His perfect alabaster features were thoughtfully composed as he came to meet me on the stairs.
"It seems important," he said, answering my questioning look. "I could leave if you'd like." Edward whispered this as if it were a secret, all composure gone, revealing a sour, hurt expression. I smiled and gently pat his arm with reassurance, knowing full well that the smile didn't meet my eyes.
"It's alright. You don't have to leave, you were here first," I said, kissing his cheek and plopping down the stairway. I had been dreading this meeting. It would be the first time I'd seen him since he ran off to wherever. I carefully thought about my face, not wanting to show any vulnerability, forcing it into an indifferent expression. I opened the door, and there he was. Still tall, and looking annoyed. It was hard to imagine that he had once been my personal sun in this attitude. Jacob had come to call.
Oh great, I thought. Does he EVER leave her alone? Obviously, I was annoyed. How could she stand that parasite? The only reason I knew he was in the house was because the scent was too strong for him not to be there. It hurt to know that she chose him, and not me. The door opened, and there she was, looking radiant as ever, but angry. She didn't want me here.
"Hiya, Bells," I said, as cheerfully as I could. My mood would have stayed plastered against my face if he hadn't come down the stairs. Instantly surly, I grumbled. Couldn't I talk to her for like two seconds without him interrupting and telling her what I was thinking? Damn, he's annoying.
"Is there something you want," she paused. This had to be hard for her. "Or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?" Bella wasn't pleased to see me. That much was obvious, too. I tried to mask my hatred for the bloodsucker, but I knew she could see through it. I just missed us the way we used to be.
"Yeah, I came to see you about the..." I trailed off. I didn't want to talk to her about her engagement. That only made it more real. I just wanted to see her beautiful face, hug her to me, kiss her like I had before. I wanted her to pick me.
"The wedding?" Edward cut in. He wasn't going to play nice. I could see his disgust for my presence.
"Yeah, that. Look Bells, I don't want it to seem like I don't want to be there, but I…don't want to be there." My heart was on my sleeve now and I could see a break in her annoyed façade. It was true sadness I met there.
"Jacob," she stammered. "I didn't even know you knew the date." I looked from her to Edward. He was being more polite than when Bella had originally opened the door, but he still looked like he knew he was better than me.
"Well, then, never mind," I stumbled over the words. I would not lose her to this...monster.
"Goodbye, Bella. I hope I see you again. Preferably, before you're eternally damned." With that, I left. I didn't even make it to my car down the road before I was shaking all over. That goodbye felt like last one I'd ever make. And I wanted to rip myself in two for acting like a damn idiot. I didn't even tell her that she didn't have to worry about me anymore because I'd imprinted.
It still took my breath away to remember why Jacob and I had gotten so close in the first place. And despite my breaking his heart, he still cared enough to come and talk to me. Edward was right, as always, but this time it actually made sense. He was right because Jacob had obviously thought what he needed to say was important enough to find me, rather than make a phone call that I probably wouldn't answer anyways.
"Hiya, Bells," he said, trying to be polite. It was hard for him to see Edward with me. I knew it. But I wasn't going to sugar coat everything. I wanted to know why he was here and I wanted to know now.
"Is there something you want," I paused. I couldn't bear to say his name. It hurt too much, and I felt selfish. "Or are you just going to stand there like an idiot," I threw in, being rather rude and attempting my hand at faking annoyance.
"Yeah, I came to see you about the…" he trailed off. I could only guess what he was thinking, but Edward cut off my thoughts when he interjected with "The wedding?" I was shocked. I didn't know if Jacob had known about the date or where it was or anything, but obviously I was wrong.
"Yeah, that. Look Bells, I don't want it to seem like I don't want to be there but I…don't want to be there." I was shocked. I knew he would have a difficult time and that's why I hadn't bothered to send him an invitation.
"Jacob," I stammered. "I didn't even know you knew the date." Whoops. I had definitely let that slip. My face fell, and all that replaced it was sadness. I missed him so much and I felt like crying.
"Well, then, never mind," he stumbled and searched for words. This had to hurt him so much. All I wanted to do was to hug him and take away all of his pain. But I knew I couldn't. It would only make it worse. I was about to tell him I wanted him to be there, at the wedding, but he spoke first.
"Goodbye, Bella. I hope I see you again. Preferably, before you're eternally damned." He turned and walked away. I couldn't help the single tear that rode its way down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, but Edward noticed. He tilted my face towards his, worry creasing his perfect brow. All I could do was nod, to tell him I was going to be alright. But I knew it would take some time. It struck a nerve because I remembered the last time he said something like that. It's just that he said he'd rather see me dead than a vampire. I had a feeling that this time, he wouldn't call me to apologize.
5: Telling the Family
I stood in the door, waiting for the moment when I could breathe again. I felt the traitor tear streak down my face. How could he be so cruel, so horrible, even if he believed what he said? I felt Edward's arms constrict around me, like he was afraid I would fall apart and he was holding me together.
A wave of tears came, and Edward decided it was time for me to go back upstairs. He cradled me in his strong arms, holding me to his chest. I felt him place me on my bed, and lie next to me, stroking my hair. I knew it pained him to see me like this, and I immediately felt atrocious for putting him through this too.
"I'm sorry, Edward. You shouldn't have to deal with this. It's my burden. I'm so sorry," I sobbed. Edward pulled me close as my tears continued to fall, and kissed the top of my head.
"Don't put this on yourself. You have every right to feel put out. I'm just worried to see you this way. Please, if there is anything I can do, tell me. I should have known he wouldn't come, but I felt that he should have to decision whether or not he would. If things were different, I know I would want the choice." He was calm, understanding. He was humming my lullaby and somewhere between telling him I was sorry again and drifting off to sleep, I heard him say something.
"No matter the costs, I'll heal your heart. I love you, Isabella Swan."
I awoke the next morning with stiff muscles and puffy eyes. Groggy and disoriented, I looked around where I was. My blue walls and yellow lace curtains reminded me. And then it hit me. Jacob was gone, probably forever. I felt a lump in my dry throat, but no tears came. I had probably cried myself dehydrated last night.
"How are you?" I jumped. Edward was sitting across from me in the rocking chair from my childhood.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," he apologized, swiftly gliding from the chair to the edge of my bed. "You didn't sleep well, and I was afraid to leave." Edward's face was sincere, and worried.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn't have lost it the way I did, but thank you for staying." I felt really bad for putting him through my waterworks. Edward was really amazing, and now I felt like I definitely didn't deserve him. And it must have shown on my face because his brow furrowed and his mouth sculpted into a frown.
"Why wouldn't I have stayed? I love you, and therefore I worry about you." He reached out and stroked my cheek with his fingertips. I loved it when he touched me. It was like I had been in pain without realizing it and the pain were relieved with his cold contact.
"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you stayed. I love you," I said, cracking a smile. I still felt like my heart needed stitches, but with Edward by my side, it wasn't so bad. He kissed the top of my head, and absent-mindedly toyed with a piece of my hair. I smiled.
"So, what's on the agenda for today, captain?" I asked, trying to lighten up the mood. He chuckled, but his humor didn't reach his eyes. I could see that he was still worried I would fall apart. I placed my hand against his face, making him look me in the eye.
"I'm okay, really. Just have to spend more time keeping my mind busy. And I think you'll come in handy for that." I smiled, pulling his face towards mine, but then I stopped abruptly. He stiffened.
"What's wrong?" he asked, cradling my cheeks in his hands, searching my face. I immediately explained.
"I just need a human minute, that's all. Really, there's nothing to worry about. Promise," I said speedily. He relaxed, and I got out of bed. I grabbed my bathroom bag and dashed to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and hair. I examined how horrible my face looked in the mirror. Surprisingly, it wasn't so bad; just a little puffy. I rinsed my face with water and put my hair in a messy bun, then bounded back to my room.
Edward, in all his perfection, was still sitting on the edge of my bed. When I came into the room, he looked relieved. He excused himself so that I could change into real clothes for the day. Not knowing what was in store for me, I dressed in a casual blouse and jeans. I decide my hair was impossible, so I put it in a French braid, and rushed down the stairs to bump right into Edward.
"Well, you look absolutely stunning," he said, brushing his lips along my jaw. My heart fluttered before I regained consciousness.
"Thank you," I said breathlessly. "I wonder, though," I said, scrutinizing him. "What are we doing today? Charlie isn't due back until later, and you made it sound like you had something in mind yesterday, before…" Before Jacob showed up, I was going to say. It pained me to think of him, and I quickly shied away from the thought. He deliberated for a brief moment.
"I was thinking we could go and visit my family…" He paused. I raised one eyebrow.
"And?" I pressed. "Well, Alice is eager to get started on plans, and I was thinking we could tell my family about the engagement." I gasped. I couldn't believe he hadn't told them yet.
"You mean to tell me you haven't told them yet? That Alice didn't…" I trailed off. He looked at my bewildered expression and his crooked smile appeared.
"No, she didn't. Bella, I am so excited for our life to begin. But with every excitement with you is something I want to tell together. It isn't just my wedding anyways. I love you, and I know the rest of the family will be excited to hear our news." He was practically beaming. How could I say no?
"Alright," I said. "This has to be easier than telling Charlie." And Renee, I thought.
I glanced at the speedometer, knowing I would find it registering at dangerously fast. Edward squeezed my hand gently, chuckling at my rolling eyes. We turned off onto the drive that I still had trouble finding, no matter how many times I've done it. Edward's Volvo purred beneath us, taking us down the snakelike path to his house. It always amazed me that his family was so open, and so supportive of him. Well, all except for Rosalie. She didn't like that I wanted to be like them.
She felt I was cheating myself out of what she could never have, and she resented me for it. But her story surprised me for more than one reason. I never thought she would ever talk to me as much as she had that night, but also, I never knew she was so fragile. Not literally, of course, but emotionally. She had wanted a life of her own, with a child, but she could never have it because of how cruel the world was, and still is. Perfect Rose, the one vampire who hated me for giving up my life…the life she never got to live.
"We're here, love," Edward whispered, opening the passenger door, his face inches from mine. I quickly shook off my fear, but I was still amazed that I could feel worry for Rosalie. I smiled at Edward, and he was practically dancing in his seat, he was so happy.
"Are you ready?" His face was gleeful, and he gave me the strength I needed to get out of my seat. I couldn't help the wide smile that spread on my face now. I was excited to tell his family, too. Edward took my hand and kissed my cheek.
"I love you," he said, making me blush. "I love you, too. I really am excited about this," I added for his benefit. With that, he opened the wide glass door, and ushered me in, floating as he went. Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us by Edward's piano.
"Hello, Bella. Edward, I have the feeling you have something on your mind," Carlisle said, raising one perfectly chiseled eyebrow. Esme rushed forward to hug me, kissing my cheek. "I am so glad you're here. We had our doubts, you know. We thought you'd never stay after what you witnessed, but you did, and we're glad. All of us," with the last sentence, she straightened up, glancing at Edward and Carlisle, as well as the rest of the family.
Alice, the perky little terror she is, gave me a devilish grin, while Jasper at her side, nodded and smiled. Emmett let out a booming laugh, and Rosalie actually cracked a smile. I think we were at an understanding now, even though she didn't agree with my decision. Edward's arm found my waist, and I looked up at him, sheepishly.
"Should we tell them now, or should we wait?" I asked, toying with his nerves. He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "I don't think we should wait. I think we've waited long enough." He smiled, looking up at his family.
"Well? Are you going to tell them or not?" Alice asked impatiently. I giggled nervously, and Edward gave me one last gaze into my eyes, letting me know he wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with me. "Go ahead," he said, gleaming. I took a deep breath, and sighed.
"Well, if you haven't already guessed, Edward and I…" I trailed off, leaving the last words for him, knowing he would be appreciative. "We're getting married!" He just about shouted it, and if I didn't know better, I could have sworn they could hear it in outer space.
6: Planning
"Isn't it wonderful?" Alice squealed and hugged me. She was more than ready to put me through torture with getting plans together for the wedding. "Yes, Alice. It is wonderful." Esme was always so sweet, and gentle. I searched the faces of my future in-laws to find Jasper with a huge grin and Emmett crying, if that's what it was because vampires can't cry.
"Don't cry, Emmett," I said, walking over to him and patting his huge arm. "I-I'm j-just so h-h-happy for you g-guys!" He stuttered, smiling. I smiled back, and felt a wave of happiness wash over me, no doubt the doing of Jasper. I glanced at Edward, who was hugging Esme, and he winked at me. I was starting to say something to Carlisle when a brief, sharp tap on my shoulder made me turn around. I was shocked to see that it was Rosalie.
I turned around to all of her beauty, wondering what she had to say. "H-hi, Rose," I stammered. I could feel Edward's eyes boring into us, but I could not tell from the look on Rosalie's face what she was going to say.
"Well, Bella, I guess you're going to get what you want. I am pleased that Edward has finally found someone to make him happy," she smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes. "But—"
"But what? What are you afraid of, Rosalie? You knew it would end up this way," Edward cut in, his words probably harsher than he had meant them. "Edward," I said, placing a hand on his chest. "Let her finish." I was very curious to hear what she had to say. Edward just glared at Rosalie. Obviously what she was going to say was unsettling.
"Bella, I just want you to make sure that this is what you want. You know how I feel, and it's nothing against you personally, but your decisions now could change the rest of your life. Don't choose a path that you will later regret. Please, just think it through." I couldn't believe my ears. Rosalie was pleading for me to change my whole future.
"I think that's enough, Rosalie," Carlisle said with authority. "Come on, Bella, we have to go plan," Alice said, yanking on my arm. Rosalie threw me a look, and stalked off into the kitchen. Edward seized my other arm.
They looked at each other and immediately began arguing faster than I could keep up. I did catch snippets of "But you'll have her forever" and a retort of "But she's mine!" I finally sighed and pulled my arms from them...at least, I tried to.
"ALRIGHT!" I yelled. "You two are going to rip me apart. To quote you specifically, I'm 'easily breakable' and if you don't mind, I'd like to go home in one piece. Now, Alice, I know you are all too eager to start plans on the wedding, but I know for a fact that you have already gotten things together for me to look at. It will not take me all afternoon to decide, despite what you think. Edward, she's right about you having me forever, and don't give me that look," I added, noticing Edward putting on an uncharacteristic pout. I took a deep breath and started again.
"Now, I'm going to walk to the door, and walk out of it. By myself. I am going to walk down the stairs, and the fist person who gets to me can have my full attention for the remainder for the day. No one moves until I get out that door, understood?" I glared at them. Edward sensed an easy victory when Alice spaced out for a minute, then groaned. I smiled, and patted her arm.
"It's nothing personal, promise!" She put on the most beautiful grimace and crossed her arms. Edward was grinning from ear to ear, and bent down in a crouch, as if he were in an Olympic race. I turned around and stalked out the door, closing it softly behind me. Immediately I heard a scramble inside. Alice must have really wanted my attention, but I turned around to Edward, with a crooked smile on his face. He always loved a challenge.
I raised an eyebrow, giving him the playfully scornful look I had often donned after a visit to his house. "You have got to learn to let other people win once in a while. It simply isn't fair," I sarcastically scolded, turning my head so he couldn't see the smile that was creeping its way across my face. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
"But where would the fun be in that?" He smiled, kissing my forehead. I smiled at his humanly gesture, and shook my head at his pride, despite the face that my heart thumped erratically in my chest. I loved the way he made me feel, so safe and protected, but also treasured and precious. It wasn't until he said something to me with a curious expression that I snapped out of my post-kiss coma.
I shook my head, trying to clear it. "I'm sorry, what?" He smiled a big, toothy, full face smile, his perfect teeth sparkling invitingly. How in the world did he do that? "I said," he chuckled, "what are the plans for the afternoon. You said I get your full attention the whole afternoon, so what are we going to do with all of our free time?"
Ah, now I got it. He wanted to weasel me into something, or he was just asking. I couldn't be sure of course, because I hadn't heard it in the original context without his jokingly cynical tone. I took a breath. I had become accustomed to him having to repeat questions because of my "bedazzlement," but it still would be nice to know what he really wanted. He was so indescribably…well, indescribable.
I cleared my throat, preparing to suggest we go to the meadow. But I paused, noticing his intent stare. It felt like he was burning a hole into my soul. I completely lost my speech. Actually, I completely lost my awareness to everything around me. All I could think about was how beautiful Edward's gaze was. His liquid topaz eyes smoldered and danced while I watched. I didn't even notice when I became lightheaded from forgetting to breathe. I leaned into him, my knees feeble and wobbly, and promptly lost all consciousness.
"Ah, Bella," I heard his amused voice as it sighed its way into my brain. "Will you ever learn?" I could feel his cold hands brushing against my cheeks, trying to revive me. I awoke after he picked me up, and began to walk rather briskly down the lawn, into the woods, all the while carrying me in his strong arms. I glared up at him.
"What?" He asked innocently, a hint of humor in his voice. "You did that on purpose," I grumbled. He laughed as if I had told him the most amusing joke he had ever heard.
"Well, I must say you are quite the perceptive one. But I didn't do anything. You simply let your guard down," he explained, laughing again. "And I might add," Edward said, putting me down, "that you are quite adorable when you pout." I blushed and brought my hand to my face, looking down.
"You never answered my question, by the way," Edward said, matter-of-factly, as we walked hand in hand towards the river in the woods. "What do you mean?" I asked. He stopped and gave me a "don't play dumb" look. I rolled my eyes, and sat down in the damp grass.
"Does it really matter what activities are planned as long as we're together?" I questioned him. "I suppose not," He chuckled and sat down next to me with the grace of an angel. I marveled at his beauty. It almost hurt to look at him. I regained my focus (and my coherency), but only after making myself look away and forcing my lungs to start working again.
"I was actually thinking we could go to our meadow," I said, breathlessly. He gave me a quick grin and promptly slung me across his back. Before I had even realized it, we were flying through the forest. The green blur was so comforting, so tranquil that I almost dozed off. I could feel Edward's euphoria in his run. We seemed to be taking a long way today, looping around the trees of his "yard" and across a small footbridge I had never noticed to get across the stream. Maybe it just felt longer because I knew that no one would bother us in the meadow.
I kissed his neck, and he grinned. "I love you, Bella," I heard his voice echo in my head, like a ripple of velvet. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. The scent was truly intoxicating. I opened my eyes again, barely noticing that we had stopped. Edward's hands lifted me off, gently setting me on the ground. His face was peaceful, yet intense, and he was leaning in for a kiss. Before I lost myself completely, I turned and began to skip away, but the toe of my shoe caught a tuft of grass and I landed face-first. I heard Edward stifle a laugh and I turned over in the grass so that I could see him.
He walked towards me gracefully, holding out a shimmering hand to help me up. I ignored that and lay on my back, pulling my knees up to steady myself. I closed my eyes and just laid there. If I hadn't seen his shadow across my eyelids, I wouldn't have noticed him lying next to me. His fingers traced my features, gliding across my forehead and down my nose. He paused at my lips, and I opened my eyes to see his beautiful face only a few inches from mine. I turned towards him and kissed his nose playfully. He inhaled, and sighed.
"You know, Bella, when you're not completely consumed in worry, you're even more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. Your face right now is so content, so peaceful and without any fearful expression blemishing it that you are appallingly tantalizing. It should be illegal to look that good." He said all of this with an adoring smile, and he took my face in his hands and kissed me gently. Being pinned to the grass, I could only wrap my arms around him and lose myself in the sheer bliss. Edward pulled back, examining my face. I smiled at him, and he kissed the tip of my nose and rolled back on his side, freeing me.
I made a pouty face. He chuckled and opened his arms for me to nestle myself there. I rolled into his perfect chest, tucking my head under his chin and feeling his cool breath on me hair. He began to hum a song I didn't recognize. It was tranquil, but energizing; beautiful and dissonant at the same time. I sat up a little and looked at him with a curious face.
"Do you like it?" He asked, toying with my fingers. I placed them on his chin and raised it up to meet my face. "Yes, I do. You wrote it, I'm assuming. May I ask who or what for?" He lay there, looking at me through his thick black lashes, smiling. "Can't you guess?" he said, a devious grin spreading over the smile.
I wrinkled my nose. "Well, I could, but you make it sound more interesting and just flat out better, hence why I asked." Edward laughed at that and sat up, sparkles darting across my shirt and face.
