Authors note: Yo! I don't own KHR or its awesome characters. Here's another Xanxus x Rin one-shot! Please support me by reading my other one-shots and stories, it'll be much appreciated. Let me know what you readers think or if you have any requests by leaving a review…go on, leave a review…I will give you an imaginary chocolate bunny.
"Rin-sama, why are we doing this? It's so childish." Fran is really trying to burst my happy bubble.
"Coming from the boy wearing the frog hat," I grumble back, hoping for some kind of reaction, but nothing, no facial movement what so ever.
"I only wear it because the fake price won't let me take it off." I sigh; cue knifes stabbing Fran in the back.
-THUNK-
-THUNK-
-THUNK-
Cue Fran's monotonous whining. "Rin-sama, the fake prince is throwing knives at me again," and knife –THUNK- "Tell him to stooooop." I don't know what's more annoying, Bel's knife throwing, Fran's constant monotonous whining, or the fact we can't f*cking dye Easter Eggs in semi-peace!
"Rin-chan~, if you keep frowning like that, you're going to give yourself wrinkles~" My eye is twitching; I can feel it uncontrollably twitching. I know Lussuria's intentions are good, but now isn't the time.
"Che, why would the boss waist time with this woman? She is unworthy of his attention." I am about to smash one of the bowls of hard boiled eggs over Levi's head. One more comment about my "inadequacy" and I swear I will do it.
"VOOIIIIIII! CAN WE JUST GET THIS SH*T OVER WITH? SOME OF US HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO, AND WHY THE F*CK ISN'T THE SH*TTY BOSS HERE?" Why didn't I just opt to spend Easter with my brother and his friends? Oh, yeah, Reborn planned an "egg hunt" and, knowing him, there is going to be some kind of sadistic twist…not to mention Xanxus probably would have thrown a fit…
"The boss is too important and amazing to be caught doing something this stupid." If it's soooo stupid, why are you here?
"Ushishishishishishi~ if the shark commander doesn't want to be here, then he should leave and die. No one will miss him."
"Now, now, Rin-chan wanted us to all do this together as a family~! So why don't we get started?!" Not my exact words, but okay.
"Thank you, Luss-nee. Now if—"
"This is a complete waste of time! The boss could need me right now for important—"
"Xanxus does not need you kissing his *ss every two seconds! Now shut up and dye some d*mn eggs!" Finally, Levi shuts up! After gaping like a mentally challenged fish, he glares at me before sitting at a table and unceremoniously dropping an egg in the green dye.
"Ushishishishishishishishishi~ looks like the peasant can wear the pants from time to time." Bel prances over to the table and inspects the wide variety of colors, "Ushishishi~ since when was black an option for Easter colors?" He looks at me with his Cheshire grin.
"Since I'm in a house full of testosterone fueled psychotic killers, I figured some of you would prefer more neutral 'manly' colors. So, I added a few, like black, brown, grey, and, just for you Bel, I have six different types of red."
"Ushishi~ the peasant knows the prince so well!"
"You can't use any blood, not even Fran's." I give Bel a blank look.
"Boooo~" Bel pouts and flops in the chair by the different cups of red dye, smiling at the one that most resembles blood. Yeah, I have four more cups of that shade in the kitchen, just in case. Fran gives me a thumbs-up, having six eggs already dyed and already starting his seventh (what was that about this being childish). He probably just realized I placed the reds on the opposite side of the table of the purples and greenish-blues he's using.
Heh~ Lussuria has all but claimed the assorted pinks, yellows, and other pastels (Hey where'd he get that pink lace he's rapping around his eggs?). Mammon's using black and purple. Squalo picked the blues, greys, and black dyes; he's even taking the time to make multi-colored eggs. Levi's just being boring and sticking to that one green he plopped himself in front of. I just realized that, aside from Lussuria's eggs, these eggs are going to look so anti-Easter, and I love it! Conformists, go screw yourselves!
I plop down between Lussuria and Fran and get to work, dunking an egg into a dye that matches Fran's hair (teal, I think) and another in a bright blue dye. Finally, ever since Fuuta told me about dying eggs, I've wanted to give it a try! Probably would have been more fun (safe) doing it with Takashi and his friends, but this is alright. Once the Varia get settled down things tend to go relatively smoothly. At least until someone (Bel!) starts sh*t.
"Rin-chan~, what's with the paint? I thought we were just dying the eggs." I glance at Lussuria with a side smile. With a shrug I say, "In case some of us want to be more creative." He giggles and starts painting bunnies and baby chicks on his eggs.
"Hey Luss-nee, can you pain a thin orange beak and two little black eyes on that yellow egg. I want to screw with Hibari later and replace Hibird with it." He giggles and fulfills my request.
"I didn't know you were suicidal, Rin-sama." I flick Fran's forehead. "Oooowww Rin-sama that hurt." Yet the tone of your voice has yet to change.
I check the egg in the teal dye, satisfied I put it to the side to dye. I dunk another egg in a beige dye, and wait for the color to set. While I wait I grab some grey, white, blue, red, black, and brown paint. I take the blue egg out of the dye and set it to dry.
"VOI! WOMAN, WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!" I give Squalo an innocent look, and say in a cheesy naive voice, "Why dying eggs of course."
"VOIIIIIII! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING!" I set my beige egg to dry and grab the teal egg and start painting the wider part of it black, constantly looking a Fran's hat. "VOIIIIIIIIIIII! DON'T IGNORE ME!" I ignore him.
Once the main black shape is done I paint two black dots close together under it, two curved triangles right under the dots, and a tiny black line closer to the bottom. Then I paint two white ovals on the big black blob on the upper half. Once that's done, I paint smaller blue ovals in the white ones and another black oval in the two blue ones. I grin at my "masterpiece" and present it to Fran. He continues giving be a blank face, so boring.
"Rin-sama, that's not funny."
"Ushishishi~ the prince thinks it captures the frog's exact likeness."
"Aaaaawwww~ that's so cute! You made a mini-Fran!" I place mini-Fran to dry and grab the blue egg, painting a white crescent shape on the narrower tip. Then I outline it in black and add and outline to show a row of nice sharp teeth. On each side of the egg I add a set of three curved lines, another two curved lines that come that meet at a point, and two half circles that look like angry eyes. I smirk and show it to Squalo.
"VVOOOIIIIIIIIIIII! WHAT THE F*CK?"
"Ushishishishishishi and the prince thought the peasant captured the frog's ugly looks to a tee!" With a pleased smile I set mini-Squalo to dry. Then I grab the beige egg and start painting the fatter end black, having the ends look wispier as it comes down. I notice the Varia staring at me so I hide most of the egg from their view. I paint two narrow black eye shapes, with eyebrows that come down to make them look angry. I paint a black downward curved line closer to the bottom. I grab the red and put little red half-circles in the narrowed eye shapes and two wispy lines on the side of the egg, coming out of the black mesh. Then I grab the brown paint and put a gagged shape along the side of the "face" and smile.
Sadly I don't notice the Varia's attention quickly focus on the door behind me while I was painting. However, when I looked up I noticed where they were looking. Slightly confused I turn my head around and find myself staring at a nicely pressed white dress shirt tucked behind the customary Varia belt buckle. I look up into fierce red eyes that are glaring down in my direction, more specifically at the freshly painted egg in my hand.
I beam up at him, "Hey Xanxus!" No response. I hold the egg out for him to see, "Say 'Hi' to mini-Anus. I made him cause I thought it was a good idea at the time…However, your unwavering glare tells me you don't like him." He is still silently glaring at the egg. "You have to admit, it does look a lot like you." I give mini-Anus a small peck on the "cheek" and give Xanxus a mischievous smile.
Before I had any chance to protest, Xanxus snatched mini-Anus and threw it at Squalo's head, caus Squalo to release a loud string of creative curses. I grin as I let out a relieved sigh and say, "Thankfully mini-Anus is hard-boiled otherwise he would have shattered!" I hear Xanxus growl behind me, resulting in a very pleasant shiver going up my spine. But I just get up and go to pick the egg up. I frown as I notice a few chips of shell missing.
"Dammit Xanxus, look at what you did to mini-Anus!" I can't say I was surprised that right after that sentence left my mouth I was thrown over a very broad shoulder like a sack of potatoes. After all, any sane person would have run for the hills when the egg was first thrown, NOT stay to poke the liger. Although, every time I'm with Xanxus I have to question my sanity. Any sane woman would never have agreed to any relationship with Xanxus, much less survive her first meeting with him. However, I can say I was surprised he didn't shoot at me…again.
I wave goodbye to the dumbfounded and worried Varia members as I'm hauled away. I wonder what Xanxus has in store for me. Aside from him shooting at me, we never fight. He's never treated me like a punching bag or even made a move to slap me or thrown anything at my head like a certain loud mouthed shark, and for some strange unknown irrational reason I don't think he ever will. Ah well~ Xanxus isn't like most men so he could have anything planned.
"Rin-sama, make sure to use protection. I don't want to become a babysitter anytime soon," Fran says without any emotion present. Levi and I gape at Fran, Levi in disgusted shock and me is just plain shock. My face burns as I hear Xanxus' deep chuckle and feel his hand shift from my lower back and squeeze a certain part of my lower body as he walks through the door and down the hall…oh my…
…Reborn! (Third POV)…
"Ummm do you guys think Rin-chan is alright?" Lussuria worriedly glances at the door their boss carried Rin out of mere moments ago. None of the men moved from their seated positions at the table. No one heard any gun shoots or pained screamed, which most of them felt was much more ominous.
"Ushishishi the boss wouldn't hurt the peasant over an egg…right?"
"Voiii of course not, not even he's that heartless." The amount of uncertainty in Squalo's voice was evident by the lack of volume.
To put it bluntly, no one knew what Xanxus was going to do to Rin. There was Lussuria and Bel who were openly worried about her (Lussuria because he was Rin's "big sister" and Bel because she amused him and he sees her as a, what normal people would call, "friend"). Then there was Squalo who would rather cut off his other hand than openly express his concern for the short Japanese woman's wellbeing. Fran who no one could get a read from (but had his own perverted thoughts about what was happening to the woman, having seen her being groped), and then there was Levi who thought his beloved boss had finally "come to his senses" and decided to get rid of the "worthless" woman.
"Maybe we should go see if she's alright?" No one objected to Lussuria's suggestion, yet no one moved from their spot. After five minutes, Fran was the first to make his way to the door. One by one the rest of the Varia officers followed him. They didn't hear any noise until and unmistakable shifting of fabric and sniffling was heard on the other side of their boss' bedroom door.
"Xanxus please don't do it! No, don't put it in there!" The Varia officers gave each other silent panicked looks. "Ahh! No stop!" That was definitely Rin's panicked voice; they all shared the same thought of what their boss was doing to the woman. Yet, they couldn't believe it, not even Levi who was hoping Xanxus killed the woman. Sure they knew their boss was a b*start, well except for Levi, but to force himself on someone? Especially someone so closely related to a Vongola. It just didn't sound right.
"Ow! Xanxus, let go!" That was the last straw!
With an enraged cry of "Sissy's coming!" Lussuria shattered his boss' door and charged into the room, followed by his weapon drawn comrades. Their fierce bravado faltered when they saw the comical scene before them. Fran even had his head cocked in confusion while the shock caused Squalo to perform an undignified face plant on the (thankfully) carpeted floor.
Before them stood a very clothed Xanxus hunched over and equally clothed Rin, trapping her tightly against him with one arm, while the other was outstretched holding mini-Anus over the brightly burning fire in his extravagant fireplace. Rin was reaching with all her might to save mini-Anus from its fiery doom with one hand while the other was trying to break Xanxus' hold on her, which had the same result as her trying to bend a reinforced iron bar. At the interruption, both Rin and Xanxus looked, or glared, at the highly confused and embarrassed assassins.
"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" At Squalo's question, Rin just gives him the classic "what the h*ll" face. Honestly, shouldn't that be her line? To say she was confused would be an understatement. First, Xanxus decided to get her flustered by being "playful" just so he could take mini-Anus from her. Second, he started tormenting her by threatening to throw it in the fire. Then, all the Varia officers barge into the room, weapons raised, ready for blood only to sag into a pathetic heap.
"Which one of you pieces of trash broke my boor?" The fire burning in Xanxus' eyes was unmistakable. He was f*cking p*ssed. First of all, he didn't like how HIS subordinates were hogging HIS woman and decided to correct the situation by "seducing" her, but then he saw that d*mn egg (seriously, what the f*ck?). So, after she kissed it he did the only logical thing he could think of. He threw it at Shark Trash's head, but did that work? No! She ran to it and had the nerve to scold him, HIM! So he decided to show her just who she belonged to, the frog headed trash's words only encouraging him, but that d*mn egg! It kept p*ssing him off! And right when he was about to get rid of it the worthless trashes interrupt him and break down HIS door!
"Uuuummmm, he did it," Lussuria shrieks, pointing at Levi. Xanxus didn't need any more prompting. Without hesitation, he threw mini-Anus so hard at Levi it broke into piece. The throw not only cause Levi to fall unconscious but also caused rubbery pieces of cooked egg whites and crumbly yellow yoke to fall all over Xanxus' expensive rug.
Fran looks at the mess on the floor with a perfectly emotionless face. In his customary toneless voice he says, "Poor mini-Anus, being thrown at Squalo-sempi was one thing, but having to suffer coming in contact with Levi-sempi's face? That's just torture."
"Shut up trash and clean up that mess," Xanxus growls out, happy that d*mn egg was gone but mad at the mess on his floor. When he notices Rin pouting about the egg, he gives her a "love tap" on the back of her head to get her attention. She winches and turns her pout to him and it takes all his self-control not to throw her on the bed and take her in front of his subordinates. HE doesn't have a problem with the idea, it'll show them she's HIS, but SHE will be difficult in the very near future if he did do that.
"Oh! I almost forgot," Rin says as she slips from Xanxus' slacked hold and prances to her suitcase by the wall, causing him to glare after her (how dare she walk away!). She shifts around in her suitcase a bit before finding what she's looking for. After slipping on a rabbit eared headband that matches her raven hair, she hops over to Xanxus and throws her arms around his neck. Chuckling she says in a sweet tone, "Happy Easter!" She stands on her tippy toes and stretches up to give him a peck on his scarred check, but due to her lack of height it lands on his neck, and smiles at him.
All of Xanxus' self-control snaps. He throws Rin on his bed and pins her down under him (Rin will forever deny the high pitch "eep!" that escaped her lips as she was thrown). Once Xanxus was pleased with his position he pulled out his X-guns and started shooting at the Varia member still in his room staring at HIS woman screaming at them to "Get the f*ck out!"
All Rin can do is chuckle to herself. She finds it amusing how worked up Xanxus gets. Luckily for Xanxus, Rin does not know the full extent of the effects she has on his body. For if she did, she'd probably stop coming over in fear Fran's earlier joke becoming a reality far too quickly for her liking. However that's not important Xanxus right now, what is important him is him enjoying HIS personal Easter Bunny.
…Reborn! (Rin's POV)...
…The next day at the Vongola Mansion...
"Ummm Rin Are you alright? You seem to be in a lot of pain and you're limping pretty badly." I glance back at Tsunayoshi and Takashi to see them covered head to toe in bandages with a worried expression on their faces. They look like mummies and Tsunayoshi's worried about my limp? I will never understand that boy.
"I should be asking you the same question, and hey Takashi." Takashi gives me a smile while worriedly looking at my hip. Tsunayoshi lets out a pained sigh and rubs his most likely bruised arm.
"Yeah, Reborn's 'egg-hunt' was a lot more…eventful than it should've been."
"Explosive eggs?"
"And some full of poisonous bugs and snakes."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, so what happened to you?" I involuntarily blush at Tsunayoshi's very innocent question that has a not so innocent answer. Man Xanxus is wild! He nearly dislocated my hip! I release a string of nervous chuckles.
"Um uhh I spent an eventful Easter at the Varia mansion." His eyes widen at my response and starts sputtering nonsense about the Varia hurting me, while Takashi's smile darkens. Oh crap. Before I have a chance to defend the Varia, Tsunayoshi and Takashi are shot in the back of the head with rubber bullets.
"Dame-Tsuna, you should have more faith in your allies and Yamamoto, Rin is not a child and is old enough to do whatever she pleases with whom she pleases." I look at Reborn and he smirks back. How the f*ck did he…? "I have left many in the same state you're in, that's how. Now come Dame-Tsuna, you have paper work to do." Well sh*t. As they leave I glance at Takashi to see him glaring/pouting at the wall.
"Ehehehe so…um…Takashi, how are things between—"
"Is that what you wanted the bunny ears for?"
"Huh?" How did he know about them?
"I-pin told Hibari you bought bunny ears for her, Fuuta, and Lambo when you took her shopping last week. She also said you bought a pair for yourself, a pair of cute black ones. Is THAT what they were for?" This is why I don't go shopping with kids! They can't keep their mouths shut! And crap, this is not a conversation I want to have with my little brother!
"Uuuuummmmm…"
"Hey trash, let's go." I look over my shoulder to see Xanxus. F*ck, I forgot that he decided we're going on a date after he dropped off a few documents.
"Where are you two going?" I glance back at Takashi who's glaring at Xanxus with a forced smile, which ultimately causes Xanxus to glare back.
"That's none of your damn business, trash."
"Well I want to spend time with MY sister."
"Well that's too d*mn bad, she's MY woman." Cue glaring match and sparks of electricity between my brother and my boyfriend. This is all Reborn's fault, Takashi never minded me dating Xanxus before that b*stard all but told him we screwed each other.
"Okaaay break it up, you two! Takashi, we'll hang out tomorrow, I already promised Xanxus I'd spend the day with him," I cut off Xanxus' protests, "Xanxus, he's my brother. So, unless you lock me away in some faraway tower, you'll have to get used to sharing me with my friends and family." Xanxus actually looks to be considering my words for a moment.
"Siberia or the jungle," Xanxus asks in all seriousness.
"What?"
"Where do you want the tower built, in Siberia or some jungle?" He has the balls to start smirking.
"YOU'RE NOT LOCKING ME IN A F*CKING TOWER!"
