Year 1
My dearest Wash,
It's been almost a year since you've been gone. Dead. You're dead. At first I was desolate, I couldn't handle being without you and I couldn't even go near the control room of Serenity because I kept expecting you to poke your head out and crack some silly joke just to make me smile.
I still avoid it as much as possible, River has completely taken over in that area and I daresay she keeps this ship in better shape than even you did. She's a bit meticulous but I think that it helps keep some of her more interesting eccentricities at bay.
It also keeps the Captain happy. Mal's been happier these days, following the events of what we experienced on Miranda he and Inara decided that it would be stupider to not be a couple than to be one and they've-more or less-been together ever since. Though they still fight, boy do they fight, over anything and everything. In fact as i'm writing this they are fighting in the next room about painting the ship. Inara thinks a fresh coat of paint will do them good and bring in business but Mal likes it just the way it is. It's silly really but I think it keeps things fresh between them.
Then there's Cobb, Simon, and Kaylee. Simon is still on board the ship eight months out of the year, it was hard for him to get stable work at a regular hospital after everything that went down. But that doesn't stop people from callin' on him to get a consult. It drives Kaylee nuts when he's off ship and she tends to tinker more with Serenity during those weeks which in turn drives Mal up the wall.
Cobb… well Cobb is still Cobb. He's still a greedy idiot most days but I can't deny that he's good with Emma.
Emma. How do I even begin to explain. I'm sure you're on some other plain-you always did believe in heaven-and you know all about her. But I feel like I need to introduce you to her anyways. Emma is about four months old now and let me tell you Wash I more surprised than I'd ever been when I found out that I was pregnant. Then I got mad, so mad that we'd been trying for such a long time only to succeed after you'd left me. Believe me sweetheart I cursed a blue streak at you when I found out. I was so alone and we were still in danger I didn't know how we were going to survive the mess we were in.
But we did and somehow Emma being born healed me in more ways than one. She is the light of all things good on this ship, I didn't think I'd be able to stay in such a dangerous environment but Mal insisted-he even safety proofed the ship with all these silly styrofoam tubes so that when Emma begins to toddle around she doesn't fall on anything sharp. It looks ridiculous but the boys were so proud of themselves that I didn't have the heart to tell them that when Emma gets older I will be moving off the ship so that Emma can have a stable life.
Oh how I miss you Wash. If you were here we could talk about so many things and make decisions about our child together. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and I'm still groggy I almost believe that if I roll over I'll come face-to-face with your big old nose and give it a kiss… that never happens though. I just hope that somehow all of these letters to you will give me a sense of comfort. I'm not sure. But it almost feels like I'm able to talk to you again.
All my love,
Your Zoe
Author's Note:
So I've had this idea rattling around in my head for quite sometime now about a series of letters from Zoe to Wash as their daughter grows up. It'll give some insight to the rest of the crew of Serenity as well but I really want to show Zoe's healing process and how her life without Wash develops.
These will be rather short and some of them will have two in one. There's not really any plot or anything like that but I hope you enjoy these nonetheless.
-LittleMoonLover-
