The Pill
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to Marvel™.
...The next time that Grant got a visit, it was not from Skye – it was from Coulson, and he had back up, including Melinda May. That really did not promise anything good, so Grant decided to be extra wary – it would probably be a good idea.
"Hello Ward," Coulson said in that infuriating smile of his. "We need to talk."
"How many of you are out there?" Grant unexpectedly decided to play along – and that worked.
"Six," said Lance Hunter, before May elbowed him beneath the ribs, for giving their exact number away.
"So talk between yourselves and leave me alone," Grant shrugged even as the ex-mercenary tried to catch his breath.
"...That's an interesting point," Coulson admitted after a brief pause when it became obvious that Grant was not going to say anything else. "One that we should've really seen coming and discussed with each other. But, actually, we're here to talk to you."
Grant said nothing.
"Come on," Coulson half-coaxed, "you obviously have your voice back and a sense of humour."
Grant still said nothing.
"Ok, guess the small talk isn't your thing really," Coulson was not discouraged by the silence. "So let's get to the point – do you want to get out of your cell?"
There was a longer pause as Grant thought this over. "How does that work?" he finally asked.
"Here's the rub," Coulson continued after a pause, during which it became obvious that Grant was not to say anything else. "We can't trust you. You may or may not be loyal to Hydra in general, but you certainly weren't loyal to us, to S.H.I.E.L.D., right?"
Ward said nothing.
"On the other hand, you are trying to be helpful to us, even if you aren't getting anything in return," Coulson continued easily. "As Hunter pointed out, even terrorists and traitors tend to get something in return if and when they cooperate-"
"I am not a terrorist," Grant said quietly.
"And traitor?" Coulson said calmly.
"I was loyal to John, not to Hydra – or to S.H.I.E.L.D.," Grant continued in this quiet tone of voice, "so I can see where you're going with that question. So why are you here?"
"We're here to offer you a choice."
"What choice?"
"Grant, what do you want?"
"That's not exactly a choice."
"Yes it is – you get to decide for yourself what do you want, where you want to go with your life," Coulson explained patiently. "You want to get out of here, right?"
"...Keep talking," Grant said after yet another pause. "And you mean out of this cell, yes?"
"And out of S.H.I.E.L.D. too, if that's what you want," Coulson added. "Don't give me that look either, Grant – if you'd cared about S.H.I.E.L.D., you wouldn't followed Garrett so blindly in the first place."
"Don't talk to me about Garrett," Grant said quietly but firmly, with a decisively dark look on his face. "I know that you like to talk sir, you like to talk a lot and to talk in circles, but can you please get to the point? Or just leave. Or stay. Do what you will, sir, but I think that I'm done with you."
"And I think that we're about done with you," Coulson growled, as he put down a notepad and a pencil before Grant's barrier. "Here. We are leaving and we are putting down the barrier. May will be back later to come and see what you have written. You will write what do you want in exchange for your cooperation and information, and as long as it is not too outlandish or – you get the idea – we will give it to you. You will be out of the cell. You will be treated decently, and after we are done with each other, we will even give you a new identity via T.A.H.I.T.I. and a new life-"
"And if what I want is to be with S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Grant asked, sounding subdued once more.
"Do you?" Coulson gave their prisoner a look.
"Answer my question, please, sir, and I will yours."
"Very well," Coulson said down, sounding resigned now. "The truth is, Ward, is that what we had with each other was trust – and you broke it. Broke it in a very pointed and indicative manner, too." He paused, looked at Fitz, who was also present, but kept quiet, and continued. "And yet, as your recent behavior has indicated, it's almost as if you're trying to regain it via your cooperation; and your last encounter with agent Fitz here suggests that there is some good in you yet." He paused and added, "which is why we decided upon T.A.H.I.T.I., incidentally – if there is a good man inside of you still, the machine will bring it out."
"I am not going through it," Grant calmly looked Coulson in the eye, "now that choice I've made already."
"Sadly, Ward, this isn't your choice," Coulson did not sound too sad however. "You proved to be too dangerous and untrustworthy to be let out on your own-"
"But before, you were saying something rather different – before you tried to distract me with all of the T.A.H.I.T.I. talk."
"Yes, yes I was," Coulson admitted. "You appear to be trying to win back our trust – but that isn't so easily done. You say that you want to be with us – but for what reason? You are, most likely, just trying to avoid punishment for your crimes-" There was a pause but Grant didn't fill it, "or you just want out. In the latter case, you can leave the cell just as easily with your continuing cooperation-"
"And if I honestly want to rejoin S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
"Not with this attitude! To work for S.H.I.E.L.D. is an honor and a prestige, as well as a duty – and you showed no concern for any of it! Even now you stall for time-"
"No, sir – you're stalling for time by trying to distract me. You don't want me to join to begin with, yes?"
"Yes," Coulson admitted, after a brief pause, with a grimace. "And why should you want to join in the first place? Unlike Hauer, and Rodriguez, and their ilk, you were intelligent enough to realize what you were turning away from."
"And they weren't?"
"We talked to them – and no, they weren't," Coulson said with a grimace. "Cannon fodder, they were, and even Lance Hunter, for all of his faults, is better than any of them-"
"Lance Hunter is a good man, with some interesting ideas," Grant said mildly. "I would never have thought to compare you to Julius Caesar – I mean, that man was a king to every queen and a queen to every king-"
"Enough," Coulson glared and got once more up. "You're not a stupid robot, Grant Ward, no matter how hard you try to be with us. Obviously, you do not trust us-"
"So, how can I...begin to getting it back?" Grant raised his voice for the first time. "Sir?"
Coulson gave the younger man a hard look, before producing something else out of his pocket – a box with one or two pills, and they were large, as far as pills went. "Here," he said curtly, but with an odd expression in his voice at the same time. "Fitz and Simmons have developed these pills – they will keep your more violent urgencies in check-"
"And I will have to take them for the rest of my life?" Grant asked quietly, as he eyed the new development.
"Just for the first few months, or even weeks," Coulson said calmly. "Then we will take you off from them. Meanwhile, you will still wear a homing device on you at all times, will not use anything more than an ICER, will not leave the base on your own, and will have to take mandatory therapy sessions as well."
"This will render me useless for S.H.I.E.L.D.," Grant said quietly. "Sir, if you will that strongly about me, just shoot me in the head and let's be done with this."
"And we're back to option one," Coulson said with something that sounded almost like disappointment as he put the box with the pills back away into his pocket. "Can't say that it wasn't unexpected. All right. You remember what I told you earlier? You write down what you want – I suggest that you think about therapy, however: take it long enough and maybe you won't need T.A.H.I.T.I. -"
"Sir, if taking pills means getting back into S.H.I.E.L.D., I'll take them," Grant interrupted the older man yet again. "Please, give them to me."
"And why do you want to get back into S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first place?" Coulson replied instead.
Grant shrugged. "I'm not as smart as you are, sir, or talk as fast, or have lived as long, but I like to think that I had plenty of events and experiences in my life. Most of the better ones were connected to S.H.I.E.L.D.-"
"To S.H.I.E.L.D.? Not to Garrett?"
"That, sir, I will discuss with my shrink or whoever will take the job. Not you – not for a while, and certainly not here and now."
"...I think we can live with that," Coulson nodded thoughtfully. "Go on."
"Not much to go on, sir – I enjoyed travelling the world, helping people: S.H.I.E.L.D. enabled me to do that.
"Us – not Garret or Hydra?"
"No. I," Grant took a deep breath – he was not used to speaking for so long since his larynx was damaged by May's kick – "want to continue to do that – to help people. To help S.H.I.E.L.D. To help-" Grant swallowed the rest of the sentence. "In short, sir, if this is good enough, please give me your pills."
"Grant," Coulson said quietly, "you realize that this is your last chance to become the man you should've been? Once you have taken the pills you will be committed to our cause and you will have to follow it? You will be loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D. for real – and if you escape, we will track you down and capture you...eventually...and put you into the T.A.H.I.T.I., regardless of what information you'll still have: S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't negotiate with terrorists and traitors."
"And if I decide on my own that you're right and S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't the place for me?" Grant said quietly. "Will it still be T.A.H.I.T.I. or will we negotiate something else?"
"I would like for you to decide right now, before we waste time and resources doing something that no one here wants to do in the first place," Coulson said calmly, "but since you've only recently began to think for yourself, I'll give you that. Whenever you decide to pull the plug – talk to May, or me, and we will renegotiate. Hopefully, by then you'll have a better idea of what you want."
"Acknowledged, sir," Grant said simply. "Now give me the pill."
End?
AN: this is largely a drabble/draft set in the first part of S2. The idea is that after having Ward cooperating with them, Coulson and co decide to stage an intervention of sorts to figure out what Ward wants and how to make him cooperate (and not stab them in the back – again). The stick is not quite right (Ward is either not cooperative enough or is too cooperative instead), so they are trying the carrot – essentially the same thing that Coulson offered Ward in "Frenemy" episode, but since this is an AU, the outcome is different than it is in canon ("Dirty Half Dozen" and beyond). I honestly am not sure if I will go forwards from here, but any suggestions – and reviews – are welcome.
PS: the pill is most likely a placebo – what was destroyed in S1 between Ward and others was trust: thus, by swallowing an unknown variable that was given to him by his former teammates Ward showed that he trusts them and that they should trust him back.
