It was almost summer, and as most people in the school were, I found myself thinking thank god! However, while they thought about summer camps, drive in movies, and slumber parties. I just thought one word: relief! This year had been the worst of my life, and while in the beginning I had been so sure that this school had the potential to make me, I didn't realize it had the potential to ruin me too; it proved just how much potential it had when it did. Still, that's being a little over dramatic, and now as I write this down I realize that, but in all honesty just thinking about how the year had started so high and crashed so vibrantly sends my usual hope faultering. I wonder sometimes where the person that put her name, Bliss, to good use is now. Did she die with the Snow Princess? Or was she simply possessed by someone else, as Lurl is now?

Still, it doesn't matter, because now I know I can leave this all behind and start a new; for the second time I'm going to drastically change my life, but this time I know that Flying V was right about girl's my age. I feel I've grown a hundred years old since the death of Sarah Lynn, even if she still seems alive to me every once in a while. If I look in the mirror my eyes are darker even if my the color of my irises glimmer in the light. It's disconcerning to not see that light Flying V talked about before shining through them-- or maybe I'm just blind to see it? I can't decide, but I figure I'll work that out when I'm up in Canada.

At first Grandmother was completely against my rejoining Mother, for obvious reasons, but after seeing me around her house, acting completely unnatural, she's decided a bit of open air is exactly what the doctor ordered.

"Well, you can't be any worse than you are now," She said disdainfully, "sulking around the house all the time, really. You should take a hint from your little friend, Lurl, she's made a complete turn around!" The fact that she refered to her as my little friend sends my insides turning with a cocktail of emotions I'd rather not try and describe, and I wouldn't be able to anyways. All I can say was that one of the emotions was relief.

I have a necklace around my neck now, it has a dove on it, and when I exit the school I feel it brush cooly against the skin under my blouse, concealed from everyone. I feel that if it's exposed to the world I might lose my last chance at being niave; that's what I want, niavety. As one person has said before, ignorance is bliss. I find that statement to be entirely and saddeningly true in my case. I don't want to know that Sarah Lynn died, I don't want to know that Lurl is a complete fake, an evil, digusting person; I don't want to know that Mitchell doesn't want to even look at me because of Lawerence, and I don't want to know that there's a reason Lawerence isn't in school anymore... and it's all my fault.

I hear his motorcycle tear away, and I watch as his figure zooms in the opposite direction he always used to go when I rode with him. My lips turn into a sad smile, and I hear the giggling of girls to my right. I can't help but turn to look even though I recognize that man-giggle, the one everyone finds so endearing now. It's Sandy, or should I say, Lurl. Seeing her with Thelma giving her big, shiny eyes sends my mind reeling in nostalgia. She is the constant reminder of just how feeble minded this society can be, how easily decieved they are. How easily decieved she is.

Liliana was the deceptor, and even just thinking the name now sends shivers crawl up and down my spine. How could Sandy believe her so willingly to let her enhabit her? I wonder if maybe somewhere deep inside the Sandy I originally had seen that one day in the hall was screaming for release from a prison... but I can't give that theory enough stability to even give me false hope.

A white mercedes pulls up and I see it out of the corner of my eye. Running up to it I slip in and look behind me at the backseat to see my things packed and ready. At least, some of my things. Just a few clothes, and I've managed to stash some lavender soap and shampoo in there; I remember that lye soap, I don't think I can so easily go back to it.

"This is ridiculous," My grandmother finally spits out, her hands tight on the wheel, "do you even know where they are?"
"There's been talk of a commune near Michigan Lake, they'll be moving upward and into Quebec last I heard. I'll be able to get to it before they move, I'm sure at least a few of them have seen Mom and Dad."
Silence spreds between us. I leave it like that.
"I'm having a man meet you there," Grandmother finally says, "he's a professor in the University near the airport you'll be going in at, and he'll help you find your parents."
I have nothing to say, so I reply with silence. This time she leaves it that way, which gives me time to think. I shoud have expected that, and to be honest I'm glad. I was scared to do this alone, but this way I at least have someone to fall back on if I can't find what I need to find..

Looking down at myself I see I'm still in my school uniform.
I'll never have to wear it again.