I Don't Own Gravity Falls or how amazing the mind of Markiplier is

One-Shot

American History

Bill stood in front of the class, "Okay, History of this fabulous country." Mabel and Dipper looked at each other. Their Gruncel had really went low for this, he wanted to teach them how to be 'good' citizens of America.

"American was founded in 148- Fuck I don't know..." Bill started, "On the principle of 'Fuck You!'." he told them. Dipper blinked, since when was this in history books?

"We wake up every morning adn praise the wooden teeth of George Washington, and the blessed beard of Abraham Lincoln. From his top hat to his lovely beard. But, that is America, the cursing and the delicious hamburgers.." Bill looked at his 'class.'.

"That is the American way, we have always taught our children great strength from birth 'Fuck you!' and just 'Fuck all ya'll!'." Dipper looked at his sister who was gaping.

"And 'Go to Hell!' and let's see how badly we can screw up the entire world!" Bill took a deep breath, "So anyway, We and on the shores of New Jersey, and these buff Native Americans came out and were like, 'Sup nerds, nice belts on your hats!'.".

"And we were all, and we were British at the time, we were like 'well, I dont' much care for you.'." Dipper was taking notes, unsure what the test would be like.

" 'Hmm, I don't think were going to get along. Oh No were Starving!'. And the Native Americans are like. 'You need some Protein Bro, here take this fish and corn.'." Bill smirked, enjoying himself

"and were like, 'What's corn?'. and we ended up liking it. So we asked, 'Hey do you think we can take this land from you and stuff?'. The the Native Americans are like, 'Hm, that don't seem fair to us.'. So they went about their life." Mabel was still gaping.

" and were like, "We gotta get rid of these guys.' cause were all suddenly turning into giant Assholes." Bill rolled his eye, "And then we try to go be friends we them, and we say, 'You know we could compromise, maybe we need something from you, you might need something form us.".

"And the Native Americans are like, 'We could use form more towels for our sweat work outs' or something like that, becasue Native American are awesome, which they are. Were like, 'Oh yeah sure sure! Uh, Small Pox Larry, you got a few extra blankets.' AND WE KILL THEM ALL!' Bill slammed his hands down on the table. Dipper blinked, and was unsure what to say.

"We kill them all, adn that's how we started our whole tradition so 'Fuck you' and we were total Dick Bags, and American founded their whole country on Killing People and Taking their stuff. And we are where we here today, and all our famous people, Ben Franklin, may his glasses watch us from high above where ever, hat great big McDonald in the sky..." Bill closed his book.

"and that's the history of American, I'll be back tomorrow for the Revolutionary War!" he walked away.

Dipper and Mabel were still processing what happened. Was their country really that insane?

I'm from America, but that EP Mark put out was FUNNY! No offense to anyone, this si just a Parody and Humor thing.