". . . In Texas"
Her next breath was stolen from her by those words.
Leonard had always been an enigma to her. He annoyed her. Challenged her. Intrigued her. Initially she thought it was a crush. Exactly what she had been looking for. But just because you like someone doesn't mean it will work out. She had thought about it, sure. Ever since he told her that she was a catch, the thought of being with him crossed her mind a lot. But she knew with Leonard it wasn't that simple. He was being groomed and she more than anyone knew that she wasn't cut out to be some politician's wife. She didn't like people enough to be good at that. But she wanted him in her life regardless. He had quickly become her person.
She was starting to be happy with Anya. Finally, seeing a life for herself that could work. In many ways, Anya was like Leonard: she challenged Kate, intrigued her, annoyed her in all the right ways. But unlike Leonard, Anya did not need Kate to be something she wasn't. And this made her feel at peace. She was happy. Leonard could be her person, and Anya could be her partner. And that was two more people in her life than she could have ever imagined.
"solicitor general"
She knew Leonard was being groomed. She knew that one day his career would propel past hers and she would be left behind without her person. But she didn't expect it to be this soon. He was so young. She thought they had more time. Knowing what she did about him she knew that one day she would only see him on tv, watching interviews of him on morning talk shows from her desk at the U.S. Attorneys office. There was a reason Roger trusted, respected her more than anyone. He saw that she was in it for the long haul. This job wasn't some stepping-stone to other things. This was her endgame. And she knew that fact invariably meant that one day Leonard was going to leave her behind. She even knew that it was going to be sooner rather than later, but she couldn't have imagined it was going to be this soon.
She couldn't remember anything after the reality of what he was saying sunk in. Suddenly he was gone and the space felt empty. It reminded her of her fathers house on the weekends when she was growing up.
It was towards the end of the day. Seth was in court and would not be around to barge in. She closed her door and sat at her desk staring at the open documents in front of her. A hand cramp brought her back from the emptiness. She had been gripping her highlighter so tightly her hand had turned white for lack of blood flow. Kate couldn't remember the last time she turned the page, or read any of the words on the present page. The sun had already set and it was late enough that no one would think anything was wrong if she left now to go home.
She needed fresh air, but Foley square was too close to everything. The risk of seeing someone was too high. Anya was working late tonight and had told her not to wait up. Kate had been disappointed by this news only that morning, but now it was a blessing. She could be asleep when Anya slipped in after midnight. In the meantime, the fresh air felt nice. Her jacket was in her office but she appreciated the cold in this moment. Glancing toward the subway, she felt her feet turn abruptly and carry her in the other direction. It was a not insignificant walk home, but the numbness she felt needed the company of the city in this moment. Her person was leaving and she was not ready.
