A/N: This is the replacement for the original Misadventures of L&A. I decided the first one was a little too dark (and I just couldn't kill the baby off!) so I created this new one. The old one is going to be submitted as a second chapter just so peeps can see what I originally did.

*Also, because of a guest review on my The Five Times Amy Got Cristina'd, I want to let everyone know that I am quite aware that Lauren as an intersex person cannot have biological children. I also want to point out that I wrote those stories back in June (long before the intersex story line was even revealed) and that my Misadventures stories are just an extension of the two Cristina'd stories so they follow that story line. So any stories in the Misadventures series ignore Lauren being intersex. Eventually I'll write on that aspect of Lauren's life but for now I'm just going to continue on this train.

Disclaimer: I do not own Faking It or any of the characters.


"Theo's a fucking cop." Lauren's words didn't hold their usually bite. Instead they sounded weak and defeated.

Amy on the other hand was just incredulous. "I can't believe that Theo's a cop and that I punched him…in the face."

Currently, the two girls are curled up on opposite ends of the cream so in living room. The TV before them is dark, neither girl interested in watching a show or a movie.

"Don't forget the part where you went to jail. What am I saying? That's a dyke paradise, you probably loved it."

The insult falls flat because again Lauren's words are missing something. She's just letting them fall out of her mouth without any care.

Amy notices this. She glances in Lauren's direction and arches a brow. "You okay?" She doesn't really want to ask the question. I mean, who really wants to know what's going on inside of Lauren's head? Amy sure as hell doesn't.

Laure shrugs. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine." As soon as the words leave her mouth, Amy wants to slap herself. Dumb, dumb, dumb! If she says she's fine let her be fine. But she's not. Aaaand? How is that our problem? She's our step-sister! I don't care. But we should. But I don't. But we shou-

"Why wouldn't I be?" Lauren asked interrupting Amy's littler war with herself. "My boyfriend was only an undercover cop who infiltrated our school in order to find a drug dealer while simultaneously using me in the process." The words dripped with anger and bitterness.

"Laur-."

"Save it Amy." Lauren let out a long sigh. Amy could have sworn it was the most exhausted sound she had heard in her entire life. "I thought I found someone who liked me, all of me." Lauren gripped the side of the sofa hard, trying (and failing) desperately to claw into it. "But instead he used me."

Amy shook her head. "I don't think he was using you Lauren. I think he really did care about you."

Amy sucked at this. She really, really did. She's wasn't going to leave Lauren hanging though, no matter how big of a minefield her step-sister's emotions were.

"I stand by not thinking that he used but maybe now wasn't the time. I'm mean we're in high school. A lot of shit's going to happen between now and whenever." Amy was quite aware that her last sentence didn't sound that great but she trudged along anyway. "But I sure that they'll be some other guy who'll come along and love all of who you are. Bitchiness and all."

Laure stayed slumped against the couch. "Whatever. I don't care anymore."


A Night Several Years Later:

"Whatever, Amy! I don't care, I'm coming to where the fuck you are. NOW!"

It was 1 a.m. and Lauren was speeding down the high way towards a restaurant called Nick's and Dick's Joint. Lauren had never stepped a foot inside of the place let alone heard of it before Amy rung her phone that night but she was sure that she hated it with everything inside of her.

"Doooon't worraaay, Laur. Can I call you that? Can I call you Laur?"

Amy at 1 a.m. was intoxicated. Well above the legal limit for someone who was supposed to hop in a car and driver herself home.

Lauren groaned. "We go through this every time you get drunk. You cannot call me Laur. Never ev-BITCH! DID I TELL YOU, YOU COULD COME OVER?"

Lauren glared furiously at the back of the mini-van driver that had just cut her off.

"Where the hell was I?"

"You said the Laur was cool. Supa cool."

"No, no I didn't."

"Mmmhmm."

"No I didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Look, I am not arguing with you about what I did not say. I'm coming to grab your ass and bring you home. Then I'm going to try to get some sleep before I have to attend my meeting at 9 tomorrow morning."

"Oooh, you're going to be talking about lawyer stuffs?"

"Yeah I'm going to be talking about lawyer stuffs." Lauren deadpanned.

Suddenly Amy was yelling. "Hey, get off of my phone!"

"Amy! Amy, what's going on?" Lauren was panicking. What if someone was trying to drag her sister off and rape her? "Amy!"

"Hi, this is Nick Wilson."

"Why the fuck are you on my sister's phone?"

"Well my establishment has been closed for about an hour now and your sister is still here and still very drunk. While I'd like to go home for the night I need to make sure that she'll get out of here soon."

"Why not call a cab?"

"When I asked her for an address she told 345 Tracey's a giant bitch lane." Lauren couldn't help but snort. "Don't get me wrong but I'm pretty sure the cab wasn't going to take her there."

"Yeah. I don't think so either." Lauren looked up at the Garmin GPS on her dashboard. "Look, my GPS says I should be there in ten minutes. So she'll be out of your hair soon."

"Thanks and if it mean anything I agree. Tracey's a giant bitch."

"Let me guess, Amy mentioned the whole Tracey was married and pregnant during their entire relationship thing, right?"

"She practically screamed it out after her third drink."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Fuckin' light weight."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm going to kill Tracey for doing this to her. Fucking run the bitch down with my car." Lauren growled with anger.

"Then go back over her in reverse."

"Then step out of the car."

"Pull a bat from the trunk!"

"And then give it to her real good!"

The two burst into laughter.

"Sounds like a date." Nick chuckled.

Lauren smiled. "Definitely."

"Well I'll see you when you get here."

"Alrighty and hopefully it's the last time you have to see me."

Nick, who was standing by a drunken Amy hunched over in a bar stool, shook his even though he knew Lauren couldn't see him. "Something tells me we'll meet again."